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Writers Club (Always Accepting Authors!)
Forum-Index → Fan Clubs → Writers Club (Always Accepting Authors!)I've been planning out little bits and pieces of a just-for-fun story that involves a bunch of my characters as kids that's fantasy/an attempt at humor but I kinda wanna do it as a collab-ish thing with someone. If anyone's interested, pp me, I guess?
Alright, I'll change it to ethnicity. Thanks! <3
Doing a challenge with my sis, Salamencegirl:
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You must write... it in under 14
minutes
You must include... Brianna in your piece, a girl who has a penchant for buying useless items.
Your story has to take place... on another planet.
Your inspiration is... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tgJ5ht8u7E
You have... 20 minutes to prepare!
You must include... Brianna in your piece, a girl who has a penchant for buying useless items.
Your story has to take place... on another planet.
Your inspiration is... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tgJ5ht8u7E
You have... 20 minutes to prepare!
And we finished! Which one is better?
Both of ours are on this doc ^^
Also, little bit of a part of A Whole New Realm of Possibility that I'm working on, I'd greatly appreciate feedback! <3
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Atychiphobia.
The thing that drives me, the thing that keeps me from dying, the thing that I can never escape.
Everyone here has a phobia here, it's what defines us, makes us the Shades. Keeps us together as the Shadows.
From cold to people, every Shade's phobia is different. Every phobia is what keeps us alive.
I have failed. My phobia is coming true. My promise is breaking, to Discord, to Crimson, to Malu... to Ria...
I am dying because of my broken promise. My voice is lost, my body shattering before my mind does, but the latter is soon to follow.
I am Cyanide, and I am dead.
The thing that drives me, the thing that keeps me from dying, the thing that I can never escape.
Everyone here has a phobia here, it's what defines us, makes us the Shades. Keeps us together as the Shadows.
From cold to people, every Shade's phobia is different. Every phobia is what keeps us alive.
I have failed. My phobia is coming true. My promise is breaking, to Discord, to Crimson, to Malu... to Ria...
I am dying because of my broken promise. My voice is lost, my body shattering before my mind does, but the latter is soon to follow.
I am Cyanide, and I am dead.
I feel bad I'm murdering Cya first though :l
even though it's short, i think you were able to lay down the ground rules pretty clearly. i'd say, moving forward, you just gotta be careful with how you deal with the phobias so you portray them respectfully, but other than that, it was a nice introduction!
I felt like Cyanide didn't get very much of the other side of her personality explained. In AWNROP we saw a lot of her being really confident and smart, but basically none of the worrying, failure-obsessed monster she actually is. That's probably going to be the opening for Part Nine: Atychiphobia, or some version of it, and the rest of the chapter will be mostly showing Cyanide as I originally created her, mentally unstable and an anxious mess.
All the phobias I use will probably be more mental ones, and I usually try to do a bit of research so I'm fairly accurate at portraying them. Many of the phobias I've used in writing before (Athazagoraphobia, which will come up later, to name one), so I think I'm fairly ok at showing the phobias at least similar to what they're like in real life. I think??
I kinda don't wanna kill her off (I just created poor Cya and her whole backstory and I've fallen in love) so I'm trying to think of ways she could survive her heart stopping (since that's what the phobia curse thing does). Any suggestions?
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“Virgil?? Has ANYONE seen Virgil?”
Carol called, walking around.
“Oh, Virgil? I think I saw him in the kitchen.” One of the crew members responded, pointing at the hallway that led to the kitchen.
“Um.. Okay. Thanks!” Carol replied, heading towards the kitchen.
..Although, that was a bit odd. Even though he COULD, Virgil usually didn’t eat… So, why would he go in there?
She opened the door, and, there was Virgil, pouring some flour in a measuring cup.
“Okay, so I just have to add this much…” He mumbled, shaking the measuring cup a bit.
“Virgil? What are you doing in here?” Carol asked.
Virgil jumped, spilled a bit of the flour he was measuring, and turned to face Carol. “Oh! Hello, Carol! I’m… Uh, trying to bake..?” He replied.
Carol smiled, and walked over to him. “Ooh~, what’chya baking?” She asked, looking over at the bowl Virgil had been mixing stuff in.
“Well, I’m trying to bake some cookies…” He answered, pouring the flour into the bowl, and mixing it.
Carol nodded. “What type of cookies?”
Virgil smiled. “Chocolate chip cookies! I’ve heard they’re good!” He replied, cheerfully.
“Ah. I should’ve guessed seeing as you DO have the chocolate chips out.” Carol said, laughing a bit.
“That would be an obvious sign, yes.” Virgil said, grabbing the bag of chocolate chips, and pouring some into the measuring cup.
“Well, I gotta get back to what I was doing. So, see ya.” Carol added, turning and waving.
“Oh, um.. Okay. Bye, Carol!” Virgil replied, waving at her.
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“VIRGIL?! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED IN HERE!?”
Virgil quickly opened the oven, waving some smoke away. “Well, you see, I was baking the cookies, and I looked away for a minute, and the next thing I know, there’s smoke, and the alarm-thing that detects smoke went off!” He exclaimed, pulling the cookie tray out of the oven.
Carol sighed. “Virgil…”
“I know, I messed up again! I’m sorry!! It won’t happen again, I swear!” He added.
Carol smiled. “It’s fine. Now, calm down will you?” She asked, walking up to the android.
“....Alright, Carol..”
Carol took one of the burnt cookies from the tray. “Can I have this?”
Virgil nodded. “Um.. If you want. But it’s probably really hot, since it came out of the oven just a minute ago….”
Carol shrugged, and took a bite out of the cookie.
“Is it any good?” Virgil asked.
“....Not really, but.. It’s your first time, so, I bet you’ll get better with some practice!” Carol answered, gently punching Virgil in the arm.
“Now come on, we’ve got some work to do.” She added.
“Alright!” Virgil replied, following Carol out the kitchen.
“Oh, Virgil? I think I saw him in the kitchen.” One of the crew members responded, pointing at the hallway that led to the kitchen.
“Um.. Okay. Thanks!” Carol replied, heading towards the kitchen.
..Although, that was a bit odd. Even though he COULD, Virgil usually didn’t eat… So, why would he go in there?
She opened the door, and, there was Virgil, pouring some flour in a measuring cup.
“Okay, so I just have to add this much…” He mumbled, shaking the measuring cup a bit.
“Virgil? What are you doing in here?” Carol asked.
Virgil jumped, spilled a bit of the flour he was measuring, and turned to face Carol. “Oh! Hello, Carol! I’m… Uh, trying to bake..?” He replied.
Carol smiled, and walked over to him. “Ooh~, what’chya baking?” She asked, looking over at the bowl Virgil had been mixing stuff in.
“Well, I’m trying to bake some cookies…” He answered, pouring the flour into the bowl, and mixing it.
Carol nodded. “What type of cookies?”
Virgil smiled. “Chocolate chip cookies! I’ve heard they’re good!” He replied, cheerfully.
“Ah. I should’ve guessed seeing as you DO have the chocolate chips out.” Carol said, laughing a bit.
“That would be an obvious sign, yes.” Virgil said, grabbing the bag of chocolate chips, and pouring some into the measuring cup.
“Well, I gotta get back to what I was doing. So, see ya.” Carol added, turning and waving.
“Oh, um.. Okay. Bye, Carol!” Virgil replied, waving at her.
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“VIRGIL?! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED IN HERE!?”
Virgil quickly opened the oven, waving some smoke away. “Well, you see, I was baking the cookies, and I looked away for a minute, and the next thing I know, there’s smoke, and the alarm-thing that detects smoke went off!” He exclaimed, pulling the cookie tray out of the oven.
Carol sighed. “Virgil…”
“I know, I messed up again! I’m sorry!! It won’t happen again, I swear!” He added.
Carol smiled. “It’s fine. Now, calm down will you?” She asked, walking up to the android.
“....Alright, Carol..”
Carol took one of the burnt cookies from the tray. “Can I have this?”
Virgil nodded. “Um.. If you want. But it’s probably really hot, since it came out of the oven just a minute ago….”
Carol shrugged, and took a bite out of the cookie.
“Is it any good?” Virgil asked.
“....Not really, but.. It’s your first time, so, I bet you’ll get better with some practice!” Carol answered, gently punching Virgil in the arm.
“Now come on, we’ve got some work to do.” She added.
“Alright!” Virgil replied, following Carol out the kitchen.
It's a cute storyline, and while there's some spelling errors and such you should probably correct, it's pretty good! One big thing, though, why was Carol so desperate to find Virgil if she had to immediately go back to what she was doing? If it was just a thing like she was checking on him or something, you should probably clarify that. Otherwise, I like it!
The current contest, Fantasy Land, ends THIS SUNDAY AT RESET!!! If you are willing to participate, you better get started now, and you can win a Jaw Fossil and two Weather Balloons! Remember, any kind of writing is accepted, even poetry, so go wild!
Also, I want to thank all the Authors here so far for your support, to both me and the other Authors! You all have been fabulous, and I hope the Authors club can stay as great as it is now!