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Danganronpa Roleplay [PRIVATE]
Forum-Index → Roleplay → Private RP → Danganronpa Roleplay [PRIVATE]
Posted: Wed, 15/03/2023 00:30 (1 Year ago)
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Akari took a deep breath and closed his eyes when Lucian ran off, knowing exactly what he intended to do.
But Akari could do nothing to stop him. Couldn't reach his cold hand out to grab him. Couldn't say a word.
"...Hope you like having all these deaths on your conscious, Kubo." Akari spat, not even lifting his head to glare at him. His fists were clenched so tightly it would've probably stung like hell.
If he could feel it.
"Sounds like something a jackass like you deserves, anyways."
"...Never thought I'd wish that fate on anyone but... Here we are." He spoke under his breath, his stone-cold, hardened tone unwavering. He had probably snapped, honestly. Couldn't take the absolute hell that rampaged in his mind for so long, the events that happened moments prior probably made everything just... Stop. The world crashed down on him and all that's left was... Nothing. Somehow even less than before.
"Well? You going to kill me, or what?"
...Damn.
"You going to kill me, or what?"
"..."
"...I'm not gonna go that low for a scumbag like you."
Those words hurt, hurt more than he'd like to admit.
But he didn't feel the pain.
I wonder why.
...
"You. You f**king disgust me. How you can say that to another person, especially someone like him..."
"...I don't know how you can live with yourself."
...So Darcy slapped him, huh? Good. Kubo deserved it. Honestly, Akari wished he could've done it himself, but...
No, you're not doing it again.
...And with that, Akari and his caged-up temper hanging on by a literal thread made their retreat, saying almost nothing before walking off for good.
Before he did though, he took one last look back at Sawyer and Idris and sighed. "...Sorry."
That was all he could say. He didn't even dare look at Kubo. If he did, probably just the sight of his ugly face alone would've been enough to break Akari. As much as he hated it, that's just who he was.
People never change, Akari. You're not the exception.
You're still the same bastard who's too goddamn weak to do anything.
Still the same bastard who held that gun with such ease, almost like it was a part of you.
Still the same bastard who killed a dozen and killed a dozen more.
You're still the scum of the earth, Akari.
Nothing you can do will change that.
Not even sawing off your flesh and bones will change that.
Your hands are still bloody, Akari.
Absolutely covered in it.
Nothing will change that.
"...I'm done."
Then he walked out the door.
Posted: Wed, 15/03/2023 02:35 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Just jump, you coward. Why don't you jump? Go ahead, jump.
...why? There was no good reason for him not to do it. But... What would doing this solve, really?
He was just running away from his issues. He didn't know how to respond to his own emotional problems, and because of that, he was doing this. Lucian closed his eyes, and breathed in, and out. In and out.
...
He wasn't supposed to do this.
"...Kubo's right. I'm a coward. I deserve to die."
This'll just make everything worse, a voice of reason within his mind whispered. Must you add to everyone's list of trauma? Are you that selfish? Are you that WEAK? Are you that PATHETIC?
The voices in his mind were so overwhelming. The voices in his mind were so conflicting.
He was supposed to just suck it up. He was supposed to just move on.
"...K-Kubo... You... Didn't mean it, right?" he choked out. "...you wouldn't say that. Not that long ago, you said that... Y-you... Said you'd..."
...
"...you said you'd do... wh-whatever... It took... To protect me. You don't... You don't hate me, do you? You don't... Want me dead... Do you?"
Lucian laughed quietly. Maybe everyone else wants me dead, too. Maybe EVERYONE hates me.
The nagging thought dwelled in his mind. Something Mei Akamatsu had said.
"Maybe you're a bad omen. Every time you screw, someone winds up dead."
Someone winds up dead because of YOU, Lucian Arbred.
It's all your fault.
Can't even keep your promises, can you? How pathetic.
Everyone will be better off without you.
Forget about Kubo, he's not worth it.
"...N-No. No... He is worth it. Everyone... Is worth it."
Lucian gripped at his hair, taking raspy breaths.
"...except me. I'm... I'm not worth it."
God... Why couldn't he stop hesitating? Why couldn't he just jump already?
It was almost like his roleplayer was stalling so Miyako could arrive in time to talk him out of it.
Lucian inhaled sharply, and pulled out his notepad. He stared at it, grimacing.
I guess... I'll never tell him. I guess I'll never tell anyone.
How could he tell Kubo he loved him...
When Kubo...
Hated him?
And how could he tell him the truth?
He'll just hate me more than he already does. I bet if I told him, he'd walk me right in here and push me off right now.
Maybe... That was why he couldn't do it.
...
He'd promised Kaoru. He'd promised Mei.
No, this is better for... For everyone.
...
Maybe Monokuma will not force another murder if I die.
...that didn't seem entirely rational, but Lucian's brain was not entirely rational right now.
This is the only option. This is fine. I'm not supposed to live anyway.
...
Everyone can be happy. In a world without me.
Lucian laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed, but it wasn't quiet anymore. It grew louder and louder. His laughter cracked pitifully.
He crumpled the sheet of paper with the words "I love you" and tossed it aside.
He took another step closer to the edge, and prepared to jump.
Sawyer Laurens's POV
The place. The place felt like a cemetery.
Sawyer knocked their knees together, and hummed.
Why was no one smiling?
Why was everything so sad?
...
This was all so confusing.
...were they sad that Mei was punished?
Posted: Fri, 17/03/2023 23:45 (1 Year ago)
now playing: Take Me Away - Neb
So take me away
My own pain was distain
I will find you again
Don't go, I'm alone
Lucian's run off. Probably going to throw himself off the bridge. Honestly, doesn't seem like a bad idea now. Maybe I'll join him.
So find me a way
I won't run, it's okay
I've accepted how long I'm alone
Honestly, he should realise that Kubo isn't worth it. I can't let him die because of idiot mcsushi. No one else has to die. Not after-
Take me away
My own pain was distain
I will find you again
Don't go, I'm alone
I'm alone.
Oh why did you do it, Mei?
I don't understand.
It's gonna be the death of me, that question.
Why?
So find me a way
I won't run, it's okay
I've accepted how long I'm alone
Not long now, 'kay?
I won't run, it's okay.
I'll be there soon.
I'll-
"Lucian..?"
My stomach sunk.
So close to the edge, the look of desperation.
So familiar, it was like I was seeing her again.
I took a small step back, blinking a couple of times.
Black hair, bored expression, trainers teetering over the bridge.
I told her that her shoelaces were undone but she didn't listen.
I begged her to come down from there but she didn't listen.
I cried and told her to come home but she didn't listen.
I pleaded for her to run away with me but she didn't listen.
I wanted to see her smile again but she didn't listen.
She never listened.
"Re- Lucian. You don't have to do this." I whispered in that same soft tone I spoke to her in. "Please."
I can't bear this again.
"You have people that care about you, right? Friends, family? If not, who cares? It's you that matters, not anyone else. You. You hear me, Reo? You can't jump again, because you'll leave me behind again and I can't bear that." Small tears ran down my face.
Vulnerability.
Ugh.
"I mean- Lucian. Sorry. Same things apply, I guess. Ignore Kubo. He's not important, you're important. So please. Do yourself a favour and step away from the edge. It doesn't have to end like this, 'kay? I can't....we can't have another death. We need you to help solve this whole mess. We really do. And it's not your fault, any of this. It's none of ours. It's that stupid bear and the mastermind. We beat them, we save everyone. And that's what you wanna do, right? Save everyone?
Well, to save people. To help people, you'll step away from there.
You won't be helping anyone if you jump.
Not yourself.
And for Kubo? Eh, screw him.
You blame yourself for all the deaths? Well cut the crap.
Help me figure this all out, and then you won't feel like that anymore.
If we solve murders, then we'll be one step closer to getting the hell outta here, okay, Lucian?
Lucian? You're listening to me, right?" Words tumbled out of my mouth quicker and quicker and quicker and quicker and they couldn't stop and they wouldn't stop and tears streamed down and down my face pearly white tears trickled out of red eyes as i crossed my fingers as tight as i could and prayed to a god i never believed in to make this all stop
i shut my eyes
i couldn't have this again
reo fell
without a sound
not a scream
just closed eyes
peaceful
the only sound
wind whipping through her black hair
i didn't look down
i looked up
and prayed at a god i hoped existed
it was so peaceful
I extended a hand.
"Lucian. C'mon."
My hand shook a little.
i miss her..
Posted: Sat, 18/03/2023 00:20 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Won't you get up off,
Get up off the roof?
You're scaring us
And all of us
Some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof
You crazy-assed cosmonaut,
Remember your virtue,
Redemption lies plainly in truth…
"Lucian..?"
Lucian Arbred barely turned his head, his body shaking. It was like he could only feel that shaking. The world was shaking.
The entire world was shaking. His fingers grasped at that object, a saddened, heavy look overtaking his eyes.
Idris wasn't here. He couldn't be here. He must have been hallucinating.
But he heard the voice again. Lucian teetered at the edge. It tempted him, it tempted…
"Re- Lucian. You don't have to do this."
…Re… who?
…
"...no, I– I have to! Don't I?..."
…did he? Lucian wasn't so sure of anything anymore.
"...Caroline?" he whispered to himself. "...Mom?"
Did she feel like she had to do that?
Did she feel like she had to tie that noose?
Did she feel… like she had to kick away that chair?
Did she think… of her children?
"...Mom, are you there?"
She never looked like she was really there. With those empty, empty eyes. Those empty eyes that saw nothing.
Are you, are you coming to the tree?
They strung up a man, they say who murdered three
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met, at midnight, in the hanging tree
Are you, are you coming to the tree?
Wear a necklace of hope, side by side with me
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met
At midnight
In the hanging tree
"Please."
The realization struck him for the first time. Of who was speaking.
Was he really saying that?
Please…
"Idris…? Is that you?"
…what are you doing here?
"...I left you. I left you when you needed me. Because I thought I couldn't help. That my presence would make no difference. Mei didn't leave you, though. Leave me here. Leave me like I left you."
He teetered on the edge once again. He stared into the gap.
"...why can't I just do it already? Why the stalling? I'm pathetic, really."
He shook his head, and took a deep breath.
"...I'm sorry, Idris. For everything."
"You have people that care about you, right? Friends, family? If not, who cares? It's you that matters, not anyone else. You. You hear me, Reo? You can't jump again, because you'll leave me behind again and I can't bear that."
…
…?
People… that care about me?
"...why… why should they care? Idris, I'm not a part of it all. I-I'm not a part of anything. I don't- I don't matter to anyone. I'm just the therapist. I'm just A GHOST. I'm not a person. I– I– I-..."
…
He gripped the sides of his head.
"...I don't matter. I never have. It's other people that matter. I'm not part of the picture."
Friends… family…
"...it's okay, really. No one would be sad to see me die. I'm not important. Not even a person. It's okay, really. …family, huh? My mother is dead, my sister is dead, my siblings are dead, or they hate me. My father and my stepmother hate me, and they might be dead too, for all I know. Knowing them… knowing the kind of life they've chosen to lead…" He chuckled ironically. "...it's a very rich possibility."
…
"If not, who cares? It's you that matters, not anyone else. You. You hear me, Reo? You can't jump again, because you'll leave me behind again and I can't bear that."
Lucian went very still, as though he had just died. For a moment, he stopped breathing altogether. Eventually, he let the breath out.
"...what? What are… what are you saying, Idris?"
What the hell was he saying?
"...I don't matter. I'm not even a person. I'm DEAD. I'm a CORPSE. They might as well have beaten me down to the ground and thrown me into it! You never escape. You never truly escape. You're dead the moment you–"
…
"I-I'm sorry, I– what you're saying… it sounds… so strange. I don't matter. It's… it's the patients that matter. Not me. That's the point. Idris, I– I already left you behind… I'm sorry…"
Why was he crying?
Please don't cry. I'm not worth it.
Just by leaving I'm bringing you another day
Hundreds smile, all I do is ruin everything
Nobody, wanted me, nobody here to scream
Why can't I laugh it off the way that I dreamed?
…
"I mean- Lucian. Sorry. Same things apply, I guess. Ignore Kubo. He's not important, you're important. So please. Do yourself a favour and step away from the edge. It doesn't have to end like this, 'kay? I can't....we can't have another death. We need you to help solve this whole mess. We really do. And it's not your fault, any of this. It's none of ours. It's that stupid bear and the mastermind. We beat them, we save everyone. And that's what you wanna do, right? Save everyone?"
"I'M NOT IMPORTANT!! DON'T YOU GET IT? I NEVER HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT! Why don't you just push me off right now? I'm not even a person. Monokuma shouldn't count it as a murder. Hahahahahahahahaha!! God, no, who am I kidding? I'm just like Dad! I'll always be just like him, even if I never– no matter how hard I– Kubo was-"
...dear god… what am I saying?
…
Ignore Kubo.
"...I can't ignore him… Idris, I love him…"
…
"...I'm not important, I'm not important…"
You won't be any more, than a rat in a gutter.
…
Save… everyone?
For a moment, Lucian took a step back.
"...you…"
"Well, to save people. To help people, you'll step away from there.
You won't be helping anyone if you jump.
Not yourself.
And for Kubo? Eh, screw him.
You blame yourself for all the deaths? Well cut the crap.
Help me figure this all out, and then you won't feel like that anymore.
If we solve murders, then we'll be one step closer to getting the hell outta here, okay, Lucian?
Lucian? You're listening to me, right?"
"...no… no… I–"
He stared at the object in his hands.
"...Kaoru… I…"
What had he been thinking…?
He didn't know what to say to that.
No… he couldn't think that way about Kubo.
"I'm sorry. I'm… I'm so sorry…"
Lucian hung his head.
…part of him still wanted to jump…
But he didn't have the energy anymore.
"...I'm sorry…"
"Lucian. C'mon."
Lucian didn't know what to say to that...
He said the only thing that came to mind, through trembling lips.
"...who's... Reo?"
Posted: Sat, 18/03/2023 09:31 (1 Year ago)
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...Oh. So Idris joined the chase. Guess he wasn't invited or whatever.
Fun.
C'mon man, forget about it. Just leave already, will you? Don't need to involve yourself anymore, you've already done enough. Just leave, do it and-
Curse you Daiko, stop being bored and involving your characters in every little thing. This stuff is only gonna be filler anyways.
He decided to make his way over to the bridge room as well, moving at a slightly quicker pace than his emo sad boy edgy walk. In fact, he was pretty much sprinting, heavy footsteps from his boots giving a multitude of rushing thuds with every step.
Run, Akari. Run as fast as you can.
Don't do it Lucian.
Run away from here. Get away as quickly as you can.
You can't, Lucian. Don't do it.
You know how to run, you've been doing it since you could stand on two feet.
We don't need another, Lucian. Don't jump.
...
Run, Akari. You won't make it in time.
Wouldn't be surprised if you've already done it by now. Maybe one of those bastard even pushed you off. Bet you begged them to.
Keep running Akari, they're going to die. They're going to die and they need you. You have to.
Honestly I don't blame you. I would've done it. I'd probably do it right now if it wasn't for...
Keep going Akari. Keep running. Keep running and maybe you'll be able to save the next one who falls. Just keep-
...I don't know if I can anymore.
...
Oh, he was already here. His feet slowed to a stop, and so did the thudding. The thudding in his ears didn't stop, it never did. He turned the corner, surprised to see that Miyako and Darcy were absent and Idris of all people wasn't, but his eyes were pinned on Lucian.
...Akari didn't really like heights, in all honesty. Well, not heights that he could fall from. It was just torment, really.
...
"What are you so scared of, huh? Go on, do it you coward."
...Mom caught him on the bridge that day. Akari always walked this path nearly every afternoon, and almost every single time he would...
He'd lean over the flimsy rails and look at the horizon beyond. Some days he was brave enough to gaze into the rushing waters of the river below. Somedays he would rattle the rails to try and loosen them. Some days he would stick a leg over.
Some days he would lean over completely, his arms barely gripping the rails behind him, the only thing keeping him from falling below.
But he never did it. One day he was probably out for too long or something. He was probably trying to see how long he could hold on before his arms got tired, lost track of time, y'know?
She caught him on the bridge, and when she spotted him, that horrifying gaze peered into his soul while her lips formed that grin he would never be able to shake. She taunted, she mocked, she laughed, she insulted, she slapped, she screamed, she kicked, she yelled, she punched, she beat, she-
And no one was there to save him. He should've jumped, should've let her push him off. Shouldn't have put up a fight, shouldn't have been there for that long.
He was told that he couldn't come home unless he came in a casket. Not like he could. He was too weak to get himself out of the bushes he had been kicked into. He thought he'd die there, honestly. If he didn't, the bridge was right there.
The sound of the water was nice. Kind of... relaxed him as he sat there through the night. The odd silence only filled with the chittering of the insects nearby were calming in a way. Sound of the owls in the woods around him always broke the silence, those weren't pleasant.
...Next thing he knew, something he saw from his eyes that could barely see through his battered eyelids, the next thing he felt was the movement of being hoisted over someone's shoulder again. He knew that feeling all too well.
It was him, he was always there to save him. Albeit in the most unconventional ways possible, but he was there. Neither of them said a word on the way home that day. Not like it would do anything if they did.
...He never really liked edges. He couldn't go over that bridge again after that. He never wanted to cross that junk covered, rusty-railed slab of concrete again.
...
"Lucian..?"
Akari walked forward, walked over to the two and didn't say a word. His footsteps were quiet, unlike the ones from when he ran earlier. It was almost like his presence was nonexistent in that room. He was probably interrupting a moment between the two anyways.
He listened as Idris spoke, unsure of how to process all of that. It was odd, really, seeing him like this, but guess he couldn't be surprised. Besides, Akari barely knew the guy, he couldn't be one to determine what was "normal" behavior for Idris.
"Re- Lucian. You don't have to do this. Please."
...Funny, really. That tone wasn't something he would expect out of this guy. Guess the times called for it, after all.
It's just... Those words, the way he said it, they all sounded...
Why did it remind him of her? She used to say these things to him, to anyone really.
...But now wasn't the time to start thinking about her again. He needed to think about Lucian.
"You have people that care about you, right? Friends, family? If not, who cares? It's you that matters, not anyone else. You. You hear me, Reo? You can't jump again, because you'll leave me behind again and I can't bear that."
He looked over at Idris, his teeth getting tighter and tighter along with his fists. It wasn't out of anger or frustration or anything, no, it was more of a reaction out of stress and panic. The words he was saying, Akari knew them all too well and it stung a little. He looked back over at Lucian, his shaking frame reminding him of his own.
Two broken people, both probably had one hell of a story, a hell of a lot of pain and suffering.
...It sucked, didn't it? Horrible, I guess. It was plain and simple. Akari didn't know how to describe any of it, but maybe simple thoughts were enough.
Simple thoughts. Good luck with that.
"I mean- Lucian. Sorry. Same things apply, I guess. Ignore Kubo. He's not important, you're important. So please. Do yourself a favour and step away from the edge. It doesn't have to end like this, 'kay? I can't....we can't have another death. We need you to help solve this whole mess. We really do. And it's not your fault, any of this. It's none of ours. It's that stupid bear and the mastermind. We beat them, we save everyone. And that's what you wanna do, right? Save everyone? Well, to save people. To help people, you'll step away from there. You won't be helping anyone if you jump. Not yourself. And for Kubo? Eh, screw him. You blame yourself for all the deaths? Well cut the crap. Help me figure this all out, and then you won't feel like that anymore. If we solve murders, then we'll be one step closer to getting the hell outta here, okay, Lucian? Lucian? You're listening to me, right?"
...He's right, y'know.
You should probably listen to him, Lucian. He makes a good point. Can't have anyone else dying, right? Won't do any of us any good if you're dead.
Don't make the same mistake I did, please.
It really isn't worth it.
Please, just... Don't.
I'm begging you... Don't do it. It'll never be worth it.
Just... trust us, ok? I don't... Want this to happen.
Not again, please.
Not... again, please...?
God I... I don't want that to happen again...
I miss her so much...
...Why did I have to do any of that...?
...
"...no, I– I have to! Don't I?..."
...He said the same thing once. Asked the same question. Looked over the same edge. Funny how he knew the answer for others, but not for himself. He walked closer to Lucian, not making a sound.
"Idris…? Is that you?"
"...I left you. I left you when you needed me. Because I thought I couldn't help. That my presence would make no difference. Mei didn't leave you, though. Leave me here. Leave me like I left you."
...Also funny how much Lucian reminded Akari of himself. No one ever needed him though, he always needed them, as much as he refused to admit it. He always tried to convince himself he needed no one, but deep down he desperately wanted something.
...But someone did need him, though. She needed him, and Akari did nothing. He really couldn't help, he couldn't do anything.
You're thinking about her again. Snap out of it.
...Right. Right, Lucian. Idris. Don't need to be thinking about it right now, they're more important than this stupid pity party.
"...why can't I just do it already? Why the stalling? I'm pathetic, really."
"...I'm sorry, Idris. For everything."
Akari asked himself the same thing, over and over.
He knew those words all too well.
But you're not pathetic, Lucian. Not like I am. Don't be me, it's not fun. Trust me on this one, please just... Don't make the same mistake.
Akari wished he could apologize as well. Too bad it wouldn't mean anything. Never did.
"...why… why should they care? Idris, I'm not a part of it all. I-I'm not a part of anything. I don't- I don't matter to anyone. I'm just the therapist. I'm just A GHOST. I'm not a person. I– I– I-..."
...
"...I don't matter. I never have. It's other people that matter. I'm not part of the picture."
"...it's okay, really. No one would be sad to see me die. I'm not important. Not even a person. It's okay, really. …family, huh? My mother is dead, my sister is dead, my siblings are dead, or they hate me. My father and my stepmother hate me, and they might be dead too, for all I know. Knowing them… knowing the kind of life they've chosen to lead… ...it's a very rich possibility."
. . .
"...what? What are… what are you saying, Idris?"
"...I don't matter. I'm not even a person. I'm DEAD. I'm a CORPSE. They might as well have beaten me down to the ground and thrown me into it! You never escape. You never truly escape. You're dead the moment you–"
"I-I'm sorry, I– what you're saying… it sounds… so strange. I don't matter. It's… it's the patients that matter. Not me. That's the point. Who's… who's Reo? Idris, I– I already left you behind… I'm sorry…"
Stop it, Lucian. Just... Stop it. Shut up, just shut up already. You can't say that. Don't f**cking say that. Not when you... Not when I...
If you're not even a person, then what the hell am I, huh? If you don't even matter, is all of our energy just being wasted then? Huh? You're right. You don't escape. But at this point, does it even matter? Huh? Lucian I swear to-
...
S**t
I'm doing it again.
Sorry Lucian.
...
"I'M NOT IMPORTANT!! DON'T YOU GET IT? I NEVER HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT! Why don't you just push me off right now? I'm not even a person. Monokuma shouldn't count it as a murder. Hahahahahahahahaha!! God, no, who am I kidding? I'm just like Dad! I'll always be just like him, even if I never– no matter how hard I– Kubo was-"
He flinched. He grit his teeth. Clenched his fist. Turned his face into a scowl. He had to admit, he was a little envious of Lucian, as much as he hated being so.
He couldn't take it anymore.
Akari took the last few steps closer to Lucian, and...
...
He raised one hand, hovering it closer to the right of Lucian's face. It hung in the air for a bit, he hesitated. Then he let it fall and rest upon his shoulders. His left hand was quicker, but it was still hesitant to fall.
Sorry if my hands are cold, Lucian. Hope you don't mind.
He tried so hard to keep his hands from gripping Lucian's shoulders any tighter, but a small squeeze could still be felt. He took a deep breath and looked down at the mop of white hair, Akari's chocolate-colored and golden eyes staring right at Lucian's deep brown. It hurt, looking directly at someone like that, those daggers digging into where it hurt the most, but he did it anyways. Besides, thank god Lucian's only felt like needles compared to... most.
"...Lucian," Akari started out, unsure of what to say next or even what exactly he was trying to do. "Stop." He paused, struggling to not only find what to say, but to hold himself together.
"...Calm down. Take a deep breath. Listen, just for a second, alright? Look, just..." he paused once again, sighing lightly as he closed his eyes. His brother used to do this to him, every time things got too much. Akari thought he'd get used to it like he did, but it never happened. It only seemed to get worse, honestly.
"We're here, aren't we? I know it's hard, but... C'mon, don't do this to yourself. We're here, Lucian, don't push us away. Idris is right, we really do need you. And... Just slow down, think a bit, will ya?" He winced at those words, knowing he was probably the worst person to be talking to Lucian in that moment
"...I can't ignore him… Idris, I love him…"
Akari took a deep breath upon hearing that word.
...Tricky thing, love was. It hurt, went through hell for it, sometimes it didn't even seem worth it. Everyone in the room in that moment... God, it sucked, didn't it? Mei had gone and got herself killed, probably in one of the worst ways possible too, and Kubo, being the bastard he was just... Snapped at Lucian, said god awful things, some of the worst things you could hear from someone who meant the world to you.
And him? Aerith was dead. She died in a cruel way, something she didn't deserve. Akari wondered if she felt like Lucian in her final moments. She was standing at the edge too, but it was more so that she was shoved off instead of... falling herself. Did she hate him? Did she even know what was happening? How devastated was she? How did she feel?
God, that face haunted him every day. Those final words of hers, mixed in with those horrific screams, it loomed over him like the shadows of the sky above, all that weight laying on his shoulders.
None of them deserved this weight, it was too heavy of a burden to be justified by what they might've "deserved" or whatever. Akari probably did, though. He deserved to be haunted by such a horrible thing, what he did was so much worse anyways.
Not Lucian, though, not Idris. The latter didn't deserve such a cruel fate, and Lucian didn't deserve Kubo's BS. That asshole didn't deserve someone like Lucian either.
Cruel world, isn't it? Sucked to be human, no doubting that.
"...I'm not important, I'm not important…"
"...you…"
"...no… no… I–"
"...Kaoru… I…"
"I'm sorry. I'm… I'm so sorry…"
"...I'm sorry…"
Akari stepped back as well once Lucian did, not yet acknowledging the object he held. He kept his eyes on Lucian's face, although it was getting harder and harder to do so, and kept his hands on Lucian's shoulders, even loosening them slightly.
"...We're in this together, Lucian, you got that?" He said simply before removing his left hand, letting it fall to his side.
"So, c'mon. Gotta stick it out 'till the end, right?"
Posted: Sat, 18/03/2023 11:25 (1 Year ago)
"...who's... Reo?"
His throat was dry and his hands were shaking. Idris hated showing emotion at a time like this. He was weak, and he shouldn't have let that show. That'd be the death of him.
Reo.
Oh, Reo. It was so calm that afternoon. The streets were quiet and it was just around sunset. You loved sunsets. I remember looking for you around the house and it turns out you were here, legs dangling over the edge, watching the sunsets.
You never smiled. You just watched.
You didn't even move, apart from the slight sway of your hair in the breeze. As it wrapped around your face you didn't even raise a hand to brush the locks of hair away.
I remember you cut your hair. Shorter than ama liked. I remember she screamed at you for days.
¡Idiota! ¡Qué hiciste con tu pelo, ahora andas como un niño! Tsk, niña estúpida.
I think that's what she said.
I remember what she used to say, greek to father and spanish to ama.
You never listened, I remember. You used to switch it around, and annoy her so much. Funny as hell.
Apart from the screaming that happened after.
Since you've been gone, things have changed.
Ama drinks more and more. You can't walk a metre without tripping over a bottle. She'd kill me if I dared take her stash away, though.
She says late, and is hardly home, which is great. What's not so great is when she comes home in a bad mood. She kicks me out of the house, screeching at me in her thick accent and screams insults at me.
Y'know she threatened to shave me once? Like make me go bald?
Yeah, I know. Weird as hell.
Sometimes she didn't recognise me.
One day it got all out of hand, she grabbed a knife and I just...left.
I ran as far as I could and then some more.
I thought by running I could leave it all behind, but everything was the same.
I still can't sleep at night.
Every day I have the same dream where I could've, should've saved you.
But I didn't.
You didn't listen to me.
I could've saved you and I didn't and I'll never forgive myself. I watched you fall and I watched your face as you closed your eyes and the wind whipped through your hair and your fingertips raised an inch as if to say-
Catch me if you can.
I should've jumped too and caught your hand and we'd both fall and things would've been better and they would've been better and they should've been better and they would've been better and they should've been better and the would'vebeenbetterandtheyshould'vebeenbetterandtheywoul'dvebeenbetterandtheyshould'vebeenbetterand
i'll never forgive myself.
...who's...Reo?"
my mouth opened to speak and no words came out it was like
cat got your tongue?
and my limbs shook and
shiver me timbers, idris, you shake so much one day you're gonna fall over
my skin was pale and
ooh, watch out, vampire-idris is here, stay away otherwise he'll bite you and infect you with his sadness
tears threatened to spill and
hey, d'you need another tissue after the 500-odd ones i've given you? honestly i think we're going to have a world shortage because of you
i tried to put her out of my mind but
it's been two years, idris
honestly, get a grip, man
they wouldn't understand and
drop the knife idris, c'mon, don't do this
and i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
i tried to put her out of my mind but
"...who's... Reo?"
reo kallikrates
my role model
she made me happy for once
she reminded me that someday things will get better
and she left me
did she lie?
was it all a lie?
WAS IT ALL A LIE?
WAS IT ALL A DAMN LIE, REO?
WAS IT ALL A DAMN LIE YOU MADE UP TO RUIN ME AFTER YOU LEFT BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW DAMN WELL THAT THERE'S NOTHING GOOD LEFT IN THIS WORLD BECAUSE THE ONLY GOOD IS DEAD EVERYONE'S DEAD I'LL BE DEAD SOON AND IT'LL FINALLY BE OKAY AND IT'LL FINALLY BE OKAY AND IT'LL FINALLY BE OKAY AND IT'LL FINALLY BE-
"...who's... Reo?
"....my sister. Elder sister. She, um-" I paused. "...did the same thing you're doing now. Toes over the edge, desperation etched in her face. Fingers gripped tightly and the goodbyes she never said on the tip of her tongue.
Only the difference is..
She jumped.
Without a sound, she didn't scream.
The only scream heard was the one I made.
It hurt so badly, Lucian.
It hurt so damn badly.
I screamed and screamed and screamed and it hurt like hell.
I sat there and sobbed and sobbed as I watched her fall and fall and fall.
I saw a hand outstretched but I wasn't fast enough, Lucian.
I can't have this happen again, Lucian.
Please step away.
I couldn't save her.
But I will save you."
wc: 906 words
Posted: Sat, 18/03/2023 14:08 (1 Year ago)
Darcy Harper's POV
Darcy had been heading into the Bridge Room. But...
But...
...
Seeing the gap put him into a state of despondency.
He just stared at it.
He stared...
And stared...
And stared...
...that bridge.
That same bridge.
...the bridge.
...why didn't I jump?
By the time he pulled himself out of his thoughts, alarm overtook him. Thank God, Lucian hadn't jumped yet. But...
...
Oh, Idris and Akari were there already.
...
He wasn't needed here. What could he even say to Lucian? How could he make it better?
Darcy knew that...
He wanted to jump too.
It was difficult not to just fling himself off, watching this.
It's so tempting. It wouldn't even be that hard.
...
But that was the thing. How could he stop Lucian when he himself, could barely convince himself not to do it?
...I shouldn't have come in here.
That was what Darcy Harper realized as he stared into that gap.
...he couldn't jump in there. Because Sawyer needed him more than ever.
...
Did... Did they?
Or did Darcy just want to think they needed him?
...
He didn't have the words to help.
...
He just stood there, helplessly.
...
Wishing he knew what to say. But he didn't.
Lucian Arbred's POV
Someone's hands. Hovering near his face.
...Akari's?
Gripping his shoulders.
Lucian's eyes widened.
"...oh, god, not again."
He inhaled sharply.
It's not like that! It's just Akari. He's not... Going to kidnap and torture you. ...I think.
Akari's eyes pierced Lucian's, and his heart pounded out of his chest.
What was...
What was he doing here?
"...Lucian."
...
"Stop."
...
...why?
"...Calm down. Take a deep breath. Listen, just for a second, alright? Look, just..."
...
Listen... To what?
Lucian wasn't quite sure anymore.
Everything... Was just too much.
"We're here, aren't we? I know it's hard, but... C'mon, don't do this to yourself. We're here, Lucian, don't push us away. Idris is right, we really do need you. And... Just slow down, think a bit, will ya?"
"...I'm not worth it. I'm sorry. ...I'm sorry..."
Lucian burst into tears. He saw... Darcy, watching with a hopelessly dulled expression upon his face. His eyes seemed to be fixed on the gap.
...and then he saw Akari. Akari, who barely knew him. Who, he of course, couldn't matter to. Why would he?
And he saw... Idris, over there.
...
But... They....
Needed him?
What a silly thought.
Lucian Arbred, the family disappointment?
He was worthless. Lucian knew he was worthless.
...
Or... Was he?
Well, he sure was worthless. If he couldn't keep his promises.
He clutched tightly to the object he held.
"...Kaoru, I..."
And Mei... Mei, who wasn't here.
Mei, who meant the world to Idris. Who was pleading with him not to do this.
..We're in this together, Lucian, you got that?"
...
Were they?
"So, c'mon. Gotta stick it out 'till the end, right?"
"...I--"
"....my sister. Elder sister. She, um-... did the same thing you're doing now. Toes over the edge, desperation etched in her face. Fingers gripped tightly and the goodbyes she never said on the tip of her tongue. Only the difference is..
She jumped.
Without a sound, she didn't scream.
The only scream heard was the one I made.
It hurt so badly, Lucian.
It hurt so damn badly.
I screamed and screamed and screamed and it hurt like hell.
I sat there and sobbed and sobbed as I watched her fall and fall and fall.
I saw a hand outstretched but I wasn't fast enough, Lucian.
I can't have this happen again, Lucian.
Please step away.
I couldn't save her.
But I will save you."
A look of pity spread across Lucian's face.
He remembered Caroline, how she'd hung herself. How he hadn't been able to do anything as his own mother slipped away from him.
He remembered Kathryn, how the gun had taken away the one person that mattered most.
He remembered...
...
No, it hurt too much to think about.
He stared at the item in his hands.
Kaoru Kajiwara's hairclip.
And he burst out sobbing.
The tears fell to the floor.
One
By one
One
By one
By one
By one...
"...I can't let it happen again..." he whispered.
He stepped away from the edge.
How could he jump, and accept that he'd be unable to save anyone else who followed in his footsteps?
...
Someone could die, and he wouldn't be able to do anything.
...
He had to keep his promises, and stop this madness.
"...okay... Let's go. I-I guess..."
Of course how he felt didn't matter. And that was the reason most of all that he SHOULDN'T be doing this. For the others he could be hurting...
...
"...Idris. I'm... Sorry."
...
"...about Reo."
...
Gave you shoes of concrete
As you fell
Never saw anything
Or anyone
Again
Should have been me
It could have been me
I wish it had been me
I'm so tired
I'm so very tired
Of seeing other people die
In my place
...but it's okay, really.
I have to live.
So I can stop things like that
From ever happening again.
I'll figure it out.
Somehow.
The noose still flickered in Lucian's vision.
...not yet. Not just yet.
He grasped tightly at Kaoru's hairclip.
not just yet.
maybe tomorrow
But not today
Just not yet.
Darcy Harper's POV
It seemed Idris and Akari had talked him out of it.
Thank goodness.
But Darcy had to get himself out of this room soon.
...
He was getting... Twitchy.
Seeing that ledge, not so far away...
It's funny. It was always Sawyer.
That was always his only reason not to.
The only way he could stop himself.
...and what was going on with Sawyer now...
How'd he help them through it?
...no, he had to...
He'd... Figure it out. Somehow.
Darcy sighed, tears welling in his eyes.
What he'd done... Was nothing that mattered.
Yet again.
When would he matter?
Would he ever matter?...
No, how could he think of that
When Lucian was right there...
Barely having not jumped?
He shook his head.
...he'd...
He'd have to talk to Lucian after this.
He just had to...
Drag himself out of...
...
That ledge. That gap, was so mesmerizing...
Sawyer Laurens's POV
...?
The room was so eerily quiet. Why was Sawyer here?
Were they all... Waiting for something?
They didn't get it.
Part of them felt like they knew why they were here, but...
But why?
Something about it
All felt so familiar
Somehow...
Posted: Sat, 18/03/2023 18:03 (1 Year ago)
"...Idris. I'm... Sorry."
...
"...about Reo."
He sighed.
"I am...too. But that's the past, and no matter how want I want to, I can never change the past.
Look after yourself, Lucian, 'kay?"
He turned to Akari and mouthed a quick thanks.
Idris ran a hand through his hair and breathed a shaky sigh.
To the dorms, again. Although now, he'd be alone.
Posted: Sat, 18/03/2023 19:14 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"...oh, god, not again."
Akari's heart stopped for a moment, his breathing paused abruptly as well upon seeing that look, hearing those words. He quickly raised his remaining hand and let it hover over Lucian's shoulders before moving them back to the side, his eyes quickly adverting. The hell was he thinking? He knew that look all too well, the fear and pain that came with it, the agony it must've been. Why did he think it was a good idea?
"...O-Oh god, s-sorry I..." His small voice managed to mutter out between his barely parted lips.
He listened to Idris, talking about someone who was important to him. Talked about what she did, and how much it hurt.
Those words struck pain in Akari, the memories of his own all coming back to him.
It really did hurt, didn't it?
God... Why'd you have to do it, Rei?
You never wanted to fall, but you did, didn't you? You gave your hand to me, why couldn't I take it?
You never had to do any of that, Rei. So... Why did you?
He closed his eyes once again as he gritted his teeth, his gaze now on the spot on Lucian's shoulder where his hand was. He stepped away, he backed up along with Lucian, refusing to look anywhere near the edge as he did so. He simply backed away, his head hung low as he simply stood there. He looked between him, Idris, Darcy, and Sawyer, but never looked above their chins.
"...I'm not worth it. I'm sorry. ...I'm sorry..."
He looked back over at Lucian, his expression hardening ever so slightly. It was also filled with pity and guilt, maybe it was a little too much like something he'd say.
"...Lucian, I-... just... Stop, please. Just... Stop." His voice was still so low it could barely be heard, but the more he spoke the less shaky it got. It only seemed to grow more firm.
"...I can't let it happen again..."
...I can't either, Lucian. We can't.
"...okay... Let's go. I-I guess..."
Akari took a short, deep breath, slowly stuffing his hands back into his pockets as his eyes went to no one in particular, he just kept his head low and his gaze even lower. He subtly nodded his head before replying with a "Mhm," taking a small, slow step forward towards the door. He'd follow behind the group, assuming they were leaving as well, lag behind without a word.
"...Idris. I'm... Sorry."
"...about Reo."
He glanced up at Idris as his fists continued to clamp tighter. Again, not out of anger, but out of his own panic and pity.
...Yeah. Sucks, doesn't it? Sorry you had to... Y'know.
Gotta love being in hell, huh?
...Oh. He stopped walking.
He hesitated a bit before picking up his feet again, walking closer to Darcy as he made his way to the door slowly. He knew. He saw it.
Akari said nothing, but instead paused and looked up, tilting his head sightly as his near expressionless gaze looked upon Darcy. He shrugged slightly, then spoke hesitantly. "...You comin'?"
He wasn't exactly sure what to say to Darcy, he was absolutely horrible at this stuff, but he couldn't let Darcy do it either. He looked over at Sawyer momentarily, then looked back at the chocolatier. "I-... C'mon, you heard Lucian." He paused for a moment, then sighed, turning his head away.
"I am...too. But that's the past, and no matter how want I want to, I can never change the past.
Look after yourself, Lucian, 'kay?"
He looked once more at Idris, then looked away.
Akari wished he could too, but Idris was right. Couldn't change it, don't even try. He'd accepted it long ago that he couldn't do anything.
...Guess we all need to look out for ourselves, huh?
Maybe even look out for each other, but...
Not sure how much that'd help, right now at least.
He gave a small nod upon seeing Idris's "thanks", but did nothing else as he waited for the rest to go along. Right now, as badly as he wanted to go back to his dorm, he figured it would probably be best to not be alone.
Posted: Sat, 18/03/2023 20:17 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Look after yourself, Lucian, 'kay?"
"...I... Okay."
Lucian nervously tugged at a lock of his hair with a sigh. He'd have to talk to Idris later. Maybe offer him a session. To be honest... It seemed like everyone could use a little help.
"...O-Oh god, s-sorry I..."
Lucian's eyes widened. "No! I-- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. It just... Reminded me of something."
"...Lucian, I-... just... Stop, please. Just... Stop."
"..." He looked startled a moment, before wiping away his tears. "...okay..."
Lucian blinked upon noticing Darcy there. Was... Was he coming?
There was a certain look in his eyes. A look Lucian didn't like...
Darcy Harper's POV
...
The ledge almost beckoned him to it. He shook his head. "I'm... Really glad Akari and Idris stopped you. From jumping. I don't think any of us want to continue on without you."
He turned and saw Sawyer, who still looked so puzzled. So... Unaware of what was going on.
Lucian looked away from Darcy with a small smile concentrated upon his face. "...it's alright. Really. It was my fault for almost jumping, in the first place."
Darcy shook his head. "I-- let's just... Go."
Sawyer walked over to Darcy, and stared over the gap, and then back at him. They looked as though they were realizing something.
"...Darcy, did we used... To go to the beach together?"
Darcy's brightened. "Yes! Yes, we did. Why do you..."
Darcy spotted the gap again.
...
His eyes widened.
"Why were you sometimes... So close to falling over the railing?"
Lucian stiffened. Darcy knew exactly what he was thinking...
Sawyer Laurens's POV
It feels like we have.
I remember how I'd find you on the bridge sometimes.
Like... That.
Was that real?
Am I imagining it?
"I-- I accidentally... Well, I-- I wanted to get a good look and I--"
Darcy looked pale. "L-Let's just go."
Sawyer almost looked... Doubtful. "Okay! Do they have any good food in this place? I'm hungry! For some reason, I'm thinking of that game. With the underground and stuff. You get that feeling?"
"...Yeah. Yeah, I do get that feeling."
...
Darcy just wanted to see over the mountain and accidentally fell down into a pile of flowers.
That was all there was to it.
Right?
...that was what happened.
I think.
I don't remember if that's even real or not.
Lucian whispered something to Darcy Sawyer didn't quite catch. At least... They thought they saw him whisper.
...
There was something so... Sad about this place. Everyone seemed so sad, and Sawyer didn't know why.
Everything seemed so... Gloomy.
Lucian Arbred's POV
"...I guess we better get going."
Something about Sawyer's mind seemed to have shifted. There was something.. less cheerful about them. Somehow.
What was going on...?
Posted: Wed, 22/03/2023 21:23 (1 Year ago)
Akora Menx
Ow, ow oh god. What the hell is happening?
Everything hurt. Her head, her heart, her arms. She leaned on Solaro slightly. She was... so confused. Mei had said something to her, right? Or was it all a delusion? Is this all fake? Her perception shattered, she wasn't sure.
"Solaro?" She said quietly. Akora itched at her arm nervously. Everything hurt, in a different way.
Solaro Makasu
to be done, i need to stop procrastinating on my assignment lmao
Posted: Thu, 23/03/2023 17:01 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
Miyako rushed through the hallways, looking back and forth. But ultimately, she feared-
The bridge.
Lucian's figure loomed at the edge.
Careful not to startle him, she quietly trotted up and took him by the upper arm. "Lucian," she murmured. "You shouldn't be so close to the edge, you know."
Kubo Atsushi
Kubo's hand felt at his face, bewildered. It was already swelling up- and Darcy was turning away.
"T-That's- fine! What the hell, what do you guys know anyway." Infuriated, he whipped on his heel. "Just die, for all I care. I've saved your lives enough! You can count on yourselves from now on!"
He stormed off.
Posted: Thu, 23/03/2023 19:59 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Lucian blinked in confusion, and turned to look at her with tired eyes.
"...why not? What does it matter?"
Why does it matter TO YOU?
Lucian could barely keep the coldness out of his voice.
He...
He'd already decided not to jump. But it wouldn't take much to change his mind again.
He inhaled sharply.
"...it's alright, Miyako. I-- I'm fine. Really."
I'm not.
He was always supposed to be the strong person.
And when he saw Miyako standing there, all he could think was...
Why did she care? Why did she bother?
Go run on back to your girlfriend. I know I don't matter to you.
...
I know almost no one here matters to you.
...
Do you even care?
Horatia.
Kaoru.
Futatabi.
And now Mei...
And all he saw was her CLINGING to Shi just pleading that everything would--
...
No.
He couldn't think like that.
He didn't... Hate Miyako. He just hated what he saw on the surface.
How she hardly seemed to care for anyone.
Anyone at all.
And maybe... Partially, he blamed her for Kaoru's death. He saw how she scared her. He saw how she pulled her away, shortly before...
...
No, no. He couldn't think like that.
"...I'm sorry."
He just... Needed to be alone right now.
But there were other issues on his mind.
He couldn't have ALONE TIME.
He'd never had that privilege before, and he could do without it now.
"...do you... Know where Setsuna is?"
He may need my help the most right now.
Lucian breathed deeply.
I'm sorry, Kubo. I know I promised that I'd protect you no matter what, but I...
...
I don't know how to face you right now, with those things you said fresh on my mind.
...
You didn't mean it, right?...
...
You didn't mean it when you called me the Grim Reaper. When you... Called me a killer. When you... Called me nothing. So... You didn't mean it when you said you hated me, right? You don't... Actually want me to die, right?
Lucian laughed quietly, letting out slight choking noises.
"...he's such a pretty liar."
He wasn't sure what provoked that sentence out, but as he picked up the crumpled piece of paper where he wrote "I love you"...
He just felt certain that it was true.
Darcy Harper's POV
He just...
Wanted to get out of here.
...
Sawyer Laurens's POV
She seemed... Strangely familiar.
There was something strangely familiar about all of this.
But the words were all like colors they were incapable of seeing.
They all blurred together confusingly...
Posted: Sat, 25/03/2023 11:45 (1 Year ago)
Akora felt bad for her mother. She'd dealt with terrible trauma and underlying guilt and secrets most of her life. Distantly, far, far away, was a memory. Her mother once had told her of a hellish place.
A school
Words
One of the only people who had ever had an impact on her mothers life, who wasn't family.
Akora clenched a fist. The same-ish morons doing the same-ish things.
"Runs in the family, huh, Kubo." Akora whispered under her breath.
Posted: Sat, 25/03/2023 12:19 (1 Year ago)
Everything was....off.
Saeko didn't predict that Mei would actually kill someone, so soon. They could've used Mei for something important. Saeko had dirt on everyone, blackmail, they even knew little secrets.
Not the huge ones everyone was protecting, but they still mattered.
Saeko had done their research before entering the school.
Preparation was key. They couldn't stroll into the school, not knowing anything about anyone, and essentially endangering themselves more.
Saeko shuddered. They valued survival above everything else.
There was no more time for chit-chat and friends.
They had to survive.
Saeko squeezed their eyes shut and breathed out shakily.
To escape...that meant they could run oh so far away from the past. Ignore everything that happened, and finally be happy for once.
They could get help.
Someone who could fix whatever was wrong with them. Someone who could prevent....events from ever happening again.
Yeah. That was a good idea.
They just had to survive some more time.
"...you can do this.."
Saeko looked around, wide-eyed.
There could be anyone, hidden, waiting to strike.
"...no....nonoNONONONO- I HAVE TO GET OUT, I HAVE TO SURVIVE, I WILL SURVIVE-" They shrieked.
"I'll....survive...."
...
"....right?"
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 02:07 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
"Fine...? BS, Lucian. No, you're not fine." She inhaled sharply, making herself look him in the eyes- recognize the trapped rabbit in front of her, and take his hands. He was trembling- she was pretty sure she was trembling too.
"He shouldn't have said that to you. You don't deserve to hear that crap, Lucian.You're so much more than that guy's toy."
We all are. Screw his detective work- dying isn't worth this.
She put her arms around him. "Setsuna's fine," she whispered. "Just focus on you... 'kay?"
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 02:32 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Lucian quivered, and then visibly flinched. He tried to look away but he couldn't. He swallowed. "...it doesn't matter." His throat felt dry and bitter as the words came out.
...it shouldn't matter to her. Why was she...?
"He shouldn't have said that to you. You don't deserve to hear that crap, Lucian.You're so much more than that guy's toy."
"...I- I-- what? It's... Okay, really. My dad said that kind of stuff sometimes. I- I know he... He didn't mean it. He- he didn't mean it, right?"
My father didn't mean it.
Kubo didn't mean it either, right?
...the two faces almost blurred together in his head.
He could almost feel Kubo's hands clutching the sides of his face.
...
He remembered his father slapping him across the face.
Again.
And again.
And again.
I bet my father would have killed me too, Kubo. Did you really want that? Do you really want that?
"He shouldn't have said that to you. You don't deserve to hear that crap, Lucian.You're so much more than that guy's toy."
"...wh-what do you mean? I... Of course I deserve it. It's okay, it... It doesn't matter, really."
So much more?...
What was she even saying?
And then...
And then, Miyako...
Put her arms around him.
Lucian flinched, yet again.
No.
Nonono.
Nononononono.
Not again. Not again. NOT AGAIN!!
It's Kubo. It's not--
You're safe.
It's okay.
It's not.
"...so... Coming to torture me again? ...I know nothing, they never tell me anything anyways."
...
"...but I don't matter, it's okay-"
Hh.
Hhhhh--
In and out and in and out and
Oh god
Oh god
"Setsuna's fine. Just focus on you... 'kay?"
Lies.
Lies. Lies. Lies.
Liar
Liar
Liar
Lies
Liar
Liar just like him
Blood gets all over the place
What the hell has he done
What the hell did he do
Why did he--
How could he
How could
Anyone
Hurt someone like--
...
The blood, the blood, oh, god, the blood
Put down the gun
Please not the gun
Don't hurt them
...
Focus on... What now?
"No," Lucian whispered. "...he's not. I know he's not. I- I saw him, Miyako. He's... He's not fine."
He couldn't even begin to answer the latter part.
Why?
Why were people convinced he was important?
...just why?
And why her? Why Miyako?
Why Miyako with her creepy hands and scary whispers and--
...she killed her. She killed Kaoru. She killed Kaoru he knew dang well she killed--
...
No, she didn't, she didn't, she didn't...
Nonono...
Nonononono...
"...I'm fine. It's alright. I'm... Fine."
He began to feel sick.
All those times you saw dead bodies--
Thought you'd become desensitized
But
But
But
...
"...I-It's... It's okay. I'm okay."
Darcy Harper's POV
He...
He would have been scared of Miyako too.
Heh.
The poor guy seemed like he'd been through a lot...
...
Chocolate. Chocolate made things better.
Chocolate tasted just like falling in love.
It was sweet, sweet as can be.
And beautiful.
Like the sunset, and the birds as they flew by the bridge, over the water...
That sweetness...
It reminded you of how good things could be, if you only lived on to experience them.
...
But Darcy Harper was trapped in a bitter and cold reality.
Where he wanted to jump off that ledge
Where he wanted to help but he had no idea how to
When he wasn't sure he wanted to help
Wasn't sure he even could
He was a sinner too
It was infectious
And did someone who did such a thing
...
He was a monster. An absolute monster.
...
All he could do was hopelessly slink away.
Go bake chocolate, will you? It's all you're good at.
Sawyer Laurens's POV
They weren't quite sure what it was.
Dad.
Such a strange word.
It brought to mind memories...
Good? Bad?
...good.
Good memories. Happy thoughts.
Wait...
...?
Bad...?
What was the...
...
Wait, how...
...
What was...
...
No, that wasn't what happened. Was it?
"I wouldn't have done that, would I?"
...who knew what you would and wouldn't do.
"Am I a good person? What is a good person?"
...so confusing
Thoughts.
Thoughts.
Thoughts.
Whirlwinds of
Memories.
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 03:25 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
"Your father...?" Miyako's arms loosened. She checked his face- his eyes were raw and red. "Oh, Lucian."
She couldn't even begin to start on any of that. So she just gave him a gentle smile- the ones she reserved for her brother when he gave her a roll off his plate or a hug before bedtime. Something she wished to leave in the past- but had caught up to her anyway, like everything did.
Lucian buried it, just like her, but like it or not, the past never died. No matter how far down you put it, eventually it'd claw its way back up.
Coffin and all.
"You're here now, Lucian. Don't focus on anything, okay?" She cleared her throat, wondering if it was okay. "I could sing or read to you or anyting you want- but no matter what, I'm staying right here. That's the common denominator."
Setsuna Jun
...So... she was dead.
His only friend here. His only friend ever.
Dead in this killing game. Nothing but blood and gore and a pathetic little twitch on a screen. Reduced to carbon and pixels, light and matter. Vaporized.
Mei Akamatsu was nothing, and she never had been anything.
Setsuna tried to open his mouth, but no sound came out. He tried to say he was sorry, he tried to look at Idris, he tried to- to touch the screen, to touch anything-
But his mouth, like the world, was beyond his reach. All that existed was him- in a vast state of blurry nothingness.
He was absolutely nothing.
He was dead, like Mei.
His sobs finally brought him back to reality. "Not you-" he choked out. "NOT YOU! IT'S ME, GODDAMMIT-"
It's me who killed her. It's me who's dead.
But the face was not his. It was Mei Akamatsu.
MeiMeiMeiMeiMeiMei-
Mei.
MEI
meI.
Mei.
Akamatsu Mei, Mei Akamatsu.
Mei.
Could a person really live, knowing they had killed everyone who ever cared about them? Could a horrible traitor of a person really be the survivor? Could it be him?
He made a horrible obnoxious keening noise in the back of his throat. Everyone must really hate him. Love the living, forget the dead.
Forget me.
Love Mei.
She needs to live, goddammit, so you all need to start crying.
...Please?
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 04:44 (1 Year ago)
Sutaraitsu Umemoto
Woah, what's this feeling that I just got? It's almost like...getting blasted back to reality.
Sutaraitsu stopped not existing and walked over to Setsuna (who wasn't very far away).
"H-Hey...y-you okay?" He said in total obliviousness because he didn't see Mei's execution (classic Sutaraitsu). "We can, uh, go eat something together, if you want..."
He nuzzled against Setsuna's arm.
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 04:47 (1 Year ago)
Setsuna Jun
Sutaraitsu...?
For a long moment, he stared uncomprehendingly at him, not sure what he was seeing. Then his eyes flooded with tears. He flung his arms around him.
"Yes!" he sobbed into his shoulder. "We can eat together- anything you want. You can have anything!"
Just don't leave me! he begged internally. Remember me! Don't let me disappear like her!