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Forum Thread

Giant Fanfiction Review Thread

Forum-Index Fanmades Fanfictions Giant Fanfiction Review Thread
Gryphaena
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Trainerlevel: 36

Forum Posts: 284
Posted: Thu, 23/04/2020 00:30 (4 Years ago)
I have permission from Moderator Tesoro to create a thread where everyone can post reviews of the fanifictions without messing up the format of every writer's fanfiction thread.

All PH rules apply.

Let's get to reviewing! :]

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I'll start with my review of Cosmixx's Random Stories.

Edit: (found here: https://pokeheroes.com/forum_thread?id=78390)

First off, I appreciate the warning she included since I am a person who has legitimately been triggered before, enough to put my brain in panic mode & have altered thoughts & speech.

The only thing about the Prologue I would change is grammar & format.

Dialogue is supposed to be in quotation marks.

Also, it seems to read a bit like a script & not a story, which is interesting, because I haven't read a script before that wasn't from Drama class.


The second part of the Prologue is in a different color, purple instead of black, so I got the sense that the mood of the character was improved.

We learn the name of the main character & that she likes being outside. So background information is building.

In the third part of the Prologue, there is a sense of despair again with the black text but then there is also purple text so it is an interesting feeling.

I'm hoping that Autumn's sister can help with the blackness in her emotions.

Avatar by Cycloneblaze at Cycloneshop II

~Poliwager~



May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary both be ever honored, blessed and adored!
Kamini
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Trainerlevel: 49

Forum Posts: 812
Posted: Thu, 23/04/2020 00:32 (4 Years ago)
I was taking a different turn in my writing style at the time, seeing how it would change the mood if I did it like that. Thanks for the review, I have gotten better in my style in the past few months, so it might bet a better fit for the story!
Gryphaena
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Trainerlevel: 36

Forum Posts: 284
Posted: Thu, 23/04/2020 00:46 (4 Years ago)
You're welcome for the review, Cosmixx! :]

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For my second review, I'll give feedback to FurryStar's "PMD Team Eclipse Comic"!

(found here: https://pokeheroes.com/forum_thread?id=79480)


She is really good at making the characters recognizable, it is easy to see all the Eeveelutions, they don't look deformed.

The colors are not too bright or too dark & I can read her handwriting.

I've only played PMD Blue Rescue Team but I want to know more abput the PMD world, so I am excited to see more of her work.

The only thing that I can think of to make it better is to have standardized panels instead of hand drawn ones.

It might also be easier to make typed speech instead of writing also, but I don't know much about comics.
Avatar by Cycloneblaze at Cycloneshop II

~Poliwager~



May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary both be ever honored, blessed and adored!
BlackReshiram
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Trainerlevel: 73

Forum Posts: 2,063
Posted: Sun, 03/05/2020 01:32 (4 Years ago)
Realized this existed lol. Anyway, I appreciate the feed back and quite honestly have as little knowledge of comics as you do. I would love to type the panel up, but that would be hard for me as I have no idea how to do that DX. But, your feedback is understandable and not offensive, which I like, but I have nothing to say other than that.

giving feedback to feedback because I have nothing else to say
Nightsky
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Trainerlevel: 25

Forum Posts: 155
Posted: Sat, 09/05/2020 16:11 (4 Years ago)
I am reviewing Gyphaena's Fiction Factory.

The poems they wrote were interesting, how each of the elements/s poems werew about what happened when they collided.

They're really good at describing each element.

This makes me interested in what's coming next, sorry if this is kinda short.



I'd be happy to have a review of my fanfic, click the cosmog below.



Thank you for this review thread :)


The moon is magic for the soul
and light for the senses



Gryphaena
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Trainerlevel: 36

Forum Posts: 284
Posted: Sat, 23/05/2020 03:51 (4 Years ago)
Thank you, for reading, Nightsky!

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, I saw it & then forgot.

I'll try to remember to read yours when my head doesn't hurt!
Avatar by Cycloneblaze at Cycloneshop II

~Poliwager~



May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary both be ever honored, blessed and adored!
SerenityFallows
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Trainerlevel: 26

Forum Posts: 410
Posted: Sun, 24/05/2020 00:36 (4 Years ago)
Would someone review shadowed hearts? Please be 100% honest, I appreciate constructive criticism.
His smile has a grip on me <3

Agent Fallows, signing out~

Gryphaena
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Trainerlevel: 36

Forum Posts: 284
Posted: Mon, 25/05/2020 02:27 (4 Years ago)
Reviewing Nightsky's "The Story of Nebby":

I'm not sure I like the main character since they lied in a couple scenes.

I don't understand why, either.

They don't trust the people around them?

I also think it's a little weird that one of the first people Sky meets lets her stay in her house.

Maybe she could stay at a Pokemon Center?

At least I remember Ash & friends doing that in the original anime.

I like that Nightsky writes in purple & has little cosmogs in their posts, it makes the story interesting.
Avatar by Cycloneblaze at Cycloneshop II

~Poliwager~



May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary both be ever honored, blessed and adored!
Eli_Vanto
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Trainerlevel: 34

Forum Posts: 92
Posted: Mon, 25/05/2020 03:24 (4 Years ago)
I will be reviewing xX_Artemis_Xx's fanfiction, Shadowed Hearts. As a Warriors fanatic I was almost instantly pulled into reading this fanfiction. The prologue was interesting and really captured my attention. However I feel like the story moved foward in the plot a little too fast. I also feel that it could be more descriptive. I am curious as to how the cats look, and I am looking forward to learning more about these cats and their stories! Overall, you did an amazing job, however it doesn't hurt to take the story slow and take some time away from the plot.




Recently I have posted a fanfiction of my own on this site. It has a different writing style and narrative that I don't typically use, so I'd love to hear any opinions on it!


Click Rowlet to see my fanfic!
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