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SakuraWolf23's Mysterious Hellscape
Forum-Index → Diaries → SakuraWolf23's Mysterious Hellscape
Posted: Wed, 06/11/2024 02:32 (8 Months ago)
I am way too excited over this. If they weren't $5, I'd make dad take me back to the Dollar Tree and get the rest! ^.^
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Posted: Wed, 06/11/2024 18:12 (8 Months ago)
*whimpers*
My headache and neck pain won't go away. I want to write and read, but I can't focus for too long at a time without getting frustrated. The dumpster needs to be filled by tomorrow, and it's only half full so far because we've had a busy week. So now I've got about an hour's worth of work to do while not feeling good. :'(
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Posted: Thu, 07/11/2024 01:01 (8 Months ago)
So. You know how I was in agony from my headache/neck pain? And how dad can't do much at a time anymore due to missing part of his lung?
While I passed out to make the pain disappear, he worked outside for half an hour and filled the dumpster. It was cold, and the sun wasn't out, making it much easier for him to do such a long period of time at once. He said he took it easy, taking a couple of breaks.
So can y'all give my dad a big round of applause?
While doing a load from the basement, he also found his box of NES games that he thought were stolen from one of our sheds a few years back, including Dragon Warriors 1-4, so he is ecstatic.
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Posted: Thu, 07/11/2024 03:59 (8 Months ago)
Someone linked me to the main Satanic Temple website, and I am looking through the pamphlet. Several things from the pamphlet stood out to me. I can't seem to image to text it, so I'm just linking the site. You can find the pamphlet pretty quickly. I thought so when I first glanced at the surface of the "religion", but I am positive now that this is the "religion" I wish to follow. I say "religion" because I know they don't see themselves as religious, but I also don't know what else to really call it.
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Posted: Fri, 08/11/2024 18:56 (8 Months ago)
Just read that cats have issues with drinking still water because in the wild, that can be dangerous.
Heh. That's news to me. I currently have 14 cats. Over the last ten years, I've had a total of about 30.
Absolutely NONE of them have had a problem drinking from the water bucket in my house.
Or from the sink, their water bucket outside, the central heating unit drippage, or on the trash can lid after it rains.
Either that's not a true statement, or it's more along the lines that they trust the water in and around their home.
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Posted: Fri, 08/11/2024 22:45 (8 Months ago)
There will be no stream tonight, as my mom is off work due to being sick. I'll be playing FF7R1 on Monday night, though! And really soon, I'll be back to my M/W/F schedule! ^.^
I do wonder: How many people would be interested in watching me crochet? I could probably carry on conversations easier while doing so. Note that if that is an interest, I wouldn't be doing those streams during my usual times but more randomly throughout the day/week.
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Posted: Sat, 09/11/2024 04:46 (8 Months ago)
Us: *watching Monsters vs Aliens*
Me: So, have you figured out if you've seen this before or not?
Dad: I think I've seen clips of it, but not all of it because I don't remember most of it.
Me: *mumbles* That's because your memory sucks.
Dad: *pauses* What was that?
Me: Love you.
Dad: What did you say?
Me: I said your memory sucks.
Us: *silence*
Dad: *thirty seconds later* I think I've seen clips of it, but not all of it because I don't remember most of it.
Me: *bursts out in hysterical laughter*
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Posted: Sun, 10/11/2024 03:23 (8 Months ago)
Cape so far!
Chidori really wanted to be in the picture. 8 more rows of red to go, but I honestly think it's going to need another ten rows. Might make that 5 or 10 each of orange and black so it has two of my favorite color combos in it.
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Posted: Thu, 14/11/2024 19:01 (7 Months ago)
I saw this on Facebook and thought I'd share.
"You've worked too hard to let a season of darkness convince you there's no light at the end of the tunnel."
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Posted: Fri, 15/11/2024 07:57 (7 Months ago)
I got a message about some stuff on the PFQ blog. Just so you know.
A) I haven't looked at either blog in two weeks, if not slightly longer.
B) I don't know what the conversation was about, but if it were important, I wouldn't have interjected unless it was to ADD to the conversation.
C) Whoever sent in that question about my fanfic was not me.
D) Why would I send in questions about myself, positive or negative, when it all adds fuel to the fire? I've got enough in real life to deal with right now.
E) As I've said before, I will ALWAYS consider myself pure and better than you. Decent people don't go around tearing other people down. I've called you jerks and other minor names, but I've ALWAYS wished you well or that you get what's coming to you. I've not gone around tearing apart everything you say or do, looking for hidden meaning. It genuinely baffles me how you can sit there thinking you're better than me when you're constantly attacking me, and I don't truly fight back. Oh, wait. That's right. I start everything because I'm an attention-seeking drama queen and then play the victim and mental health cards. Sounds like gaslighting and blameshifting to me. And again. I know damn well if you had a family member with ADHD, Autism, or any other challenge, you would work WITH them to help them improve. Why would you not provide a stranger with the same courtesy? I have friends and family who would miss me. Wouldn't you miss your friend or family member if someone bullied them to tears and beyond? DO NOT throw pain, shade, or words at anyone when you wouldn't want it done to a loved one.
F) I'm not Racist. Never EVER EVER EVER EVER was. I asked that the ACA stop because y'all were being way too hateful, and I just wanted people to, at the very least, try to discuss and settle their differences peacefully. I made all those comparisons to show you how hypocritical you were being. I wanted you to sit back and think, "Oh, wait. She's right. If I wouldn't believe this about this group, then I can't believe that about that group." I still 100% believe that some of these "complicit" cops are only "complicit" because they know if they leave or get fired, they won't be able to do as much good. It's far better to be "complicit" and keep yourself in a position where you can do some good or mitigate some of the corrupt damage than to be helpless and watch as your city falls apart and the people you swore to protect get harmed. I'm still 100% against Police Brutality and 100% for Police Reform, ESPECIALLY the aspect of firing every cop in a district and making them reapply so they can get into trouble for past questionable actions to remove the corrupt/potentially corrupt.
And when I said to stop complaining about your life and neighborhood and BE the change, I was NOT saying POC was the problem. The song by Michael Jackson, Man in the Mirror, was on my mind. As well as the fact that one of the biggest problems in the world is people not doing something to help their community because "someone else will do it", but when everyone has that idea, nothing gets done. That said, I was unaware of how difficult it still is for POC to accomplish anything. As soon as I learned that truth, I apologized for the upset that comment caused.
G) I've done my best not to say or do anything that gets me talked about, and I'm so tempted just to say eff it and start talking about even negative stuff here. But this isn't the place to vent; it will always cause more problems. I don't know how to move on from this. I know and understand this is a small group of small-minded, hateful, arrogant, egotistical bullies and that their opinions don't matter. But sometimes, when I'm overwhelmed, it matters so freaking much. When I'm already thinking of myself as horrible and worthless and that the world would be better off if I didn't exist. Honestly, anyone who consistently pushes another person to the point where they have those thoughts is a monster, and they deserve karma to serve them the same pain, so they understand how it feels.
H) Before I say anymore, I will head to bed. I will leave this up, but I will also try my best to keep negativity to a minimum and call it a success if I make only one post a month. Good night! May the Force serve you well!
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Posted: Fri, 15/11/2024 18:41 (7 Months ago)
Posted: Sun, 17/11/2024 21:02 (7 Months ago)
I can't shrink even the portion of Rhoslyn to fit my avi here without making it blurry af.
But here's my girl in her library! I absolutely adore all the pieces for Rhoslyn that I've gotten this year! <3
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Posted: Sun, 24/11/2024 07:35 (7 Months ago)
I'm so glad dad is playing PFQ again. He returned because of those two insane bonus days and is already rehooked!
I'm really going to try to help him out more with his database to ensure he stays.
Mostly because I really missed competing for PKRS, who gets the most SAMs in a day, and more!
Wish he would come back here, but so long as the Father-Daughter Duo is together somewhere, I'm happy! ^.^
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Posted: Sun, 24/11/2024 19:28 (7 Months ago)
So, Type Race teams shuffle now after every 18 months. GREAT! Variety is ALWAYS better than repetition and monotony. Besides, that's how I felt it always should have been. Actually, no. I kind of wished that some months were dual type and it changed every year because it's annoying to my perfectionism/Autism that it's every 18 months. Granted, my perfectionism has diminished over the years, but there are just some things that still...grrr. Like when people put a random bathroom tile upside down. No! Why? *screams*
Strangely, though, I see people complaining that it messed up their hunt plans. Just...Change them? Plans for real-life change, too. Sometimes at the drop of a hat. Learning to roll with it and make the best of situations is a necessity. Yeah, I know it's a game. But like I've said before. Games can provide opportunities to practice needed skills for real life. Like saving currency. Or flipping (buy low when demand is low, sell higher when demand is high, but not to the point of price gouging).
Or that there was no warning for it. Really? It was done 17 days after the last one, so about 17 days before the next one. PLENTY of time to prepare and change plans. Even for people who plan things in advance, or thrive on routine.
I would say I don't understand how y'all can freak out about something so irrelevant and trivial, but I do it all the time, so it would be kind of hypocritical to criticize for it. Then again, I feel like making mountains out of molehills over pixels is completely different than doing so over real stress, trauma, and situations. Getting upset shows how poorly you adapt to change. You can voice your opinion, but in the end, the final choice is out of your hands. If the shuffle stands, same as with the bleghy color math Melans (I WANT MY PANDA BEAR AND ALL THE BRIGHT NEON COLORS BACK!! *cries*). You're just going to have to accept it. It also kind of makes you look close-minded. That you aren't willing to give anything a try to see how much better or worse for you it is.
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Posted: Wed, 27/11/2024 06:31 (7 Months ago)
God. I so missed this about dad playing PFQ.
Whenever he finds an Oshawott in the lab, he says it like in that one episode.
I don't even remember what episode it was, but the way Oshawott says it is so freaking adorable.
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Posted: Thu, 28/11/2024 01:59 (7 Months ago)
Dad wanted to get this done before it snowed, so he used a chainsaw to cut up the last third of the roof in half to make it easier for me to deal with.
I then spent several hours using a funny and crow bar to remove the boards and throw them in the dumpster. Dad helped as best as he could, but he wound up overdoing it.
Mom came out at one point and started helping due to how badly dad was breathing and coughing. Thanks to her, we managed to get it done before it got dark.
Dumpsters going to be taken off tomorrow. Still have the other half of the house to deal with, which will be done in small bursts over the winter. When spring comes, we'll get a giant dumpster and hopefully get all the debris from that half thrown away in a week.
Image
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Posted: Sat, 30/11/2024 07:04 (7 Months ago)
*relieved sigh*
It took two Super Lucky Eggs, all of Scorpyja, ten sets of 50 Jumps, one hour, and a whole heck of a lot of spoons...
I scored 2,000 points in the tournament on PFQ, which wasn't my main goal, but I succeeded in that as well.
I ended the tournament with 2,040 points, and I am now heading to bed exhausted.
Good night, everyone! May the Force serve you well!
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Posted: Sat, 30/11/2024 21:35 (7 Months ago)
So, can someone explain to me why, even when I take the time to consider how I'm writing, it still comes out offensive or hurtful? I've been working really hard on learning how to express myself not only without dad's approval of what I'm saying but while also taking into consideration the possible damage my words could do. And either I'm not succeeding, or some people just want excuses to attack.
For example, my take on the Type Race changes on PFQ. Yes, it's a big, random, unasked for change. The Type Race was fine as it was. Even though, like I said, teams should have been randomized every cycle from the get-go. I mean. Look at any form of sports. The matches are always randomized. Actually...*thinks of Thanksgiving and how the 49ers always play the Seahawks then and suddenly wonders how true that is*. Is that right? I don't watch sports, so I wouldn't know. But I've played several games with randomized opponents.
I wasn't attempting to look down on anyone. I was just pointing out that it's not that hard to adjust and change your hunt plans. You have two weeks to prepare after this announcement. And since I'm assuming this is going to always say what your next team is, you have one whole month to plan for your next hunts. That's why I was pointing out that the complaint of not enough notice and inability to prepare was illogical.
Uhm. Let me see if I can do this without something I recently learned about called "weaponized remorse".
I am sorry that my words hurt you or made you feel like I was looking down on you. That was not my intention. I simply did not understand why it was such a big problem. However, in hindsight, I feel like I should have asked why it bothered you so much instead of telling you how you should feel. You're not me. Just because I would feel a certain way doesn't mean you would or should, and it was wrong of me to try and make you feel a certain way.
Looks like I answered my own question from the first paragraph. So I'm going to add this to my list of things to think about when making a post like this: Am I genuinely considering and wanting to understand the way you feel? Or am I wanting to use whatever as a means to put you down for not being on the same mental wavelength as me? We all have our own morals, beliefs, and opinions. Not all are valid (racism, trans/homophobia, and some others are never allowable). But the true mark of maturity is respecting others who don't share your outtakes/views/principles.
More and more I'm beginning to see the truth in what some people have said about my behavior and personality. And I'm going to do my best to keep improving myself.
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Posted: Mon, 02/12/2024 00:23 (7 Months ago)
It's been four years now without a Mature Journal, and three or so without a normal one.
Yes. I'm aware there is no longer a mature forum. Just listed for timeframe reference.
Since it had been two and a half years since my last ticket, I sent in another, hoping.
"The moderator team does not believe your journal privileges should be restored at this time."
Darn. If one of them keeps tabs on my journal here, def understandable why they wouldn't.
Except for the fact that there's more freedom to speak here, and I know what not to say there.
I'm disappointed, but their decision is reasonable and makes sense. Maybe next year, then?
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Posted: Mon, 02/12/2024 01:53 (7 Months ago)
Oh, so I wound up undoing my block list on PFQ. It went from eight to two people. The remaining two were one of my staunchest haters (who apparently therapy isn't helping much with) and the jerk who has like twenty FoS Tournament Melans because Arceus forbid you let someone else have a chance. After several days, I unblocked them, too.
Dad was telling me, "I know you want to be the better person and respect their wishes not to interact with you. But is that really worth missing PKRS for? What if you lose the tournament because of that single PKRS? Do not let others' playstyles dictate what you do. Play your way and enjoy the game."
God. It's really hard to play either PFQ or PH anymore without being so damn depressed. When I'm active here, all I can think about is how I'm only active because of being chased off PFQ by the event four years ago. And when I'm active on PFQ, so much reminds me of what happened. I can't freaking get away from it, so it constantly eats at me. Can't stop playing because it's still a great distraction and comfort game. Because dad loves PFQ and I want to spend as much time as possible doing things he loves with him.
It's a huge struggle for me emotionally. I made mistakes. I apologized, learned from, and grew from them. And I still suffer the consequences of those actions. I still have people claiming that I'm saying these things to make people like me and forgive me. I've never been the type of person to pretend I'm someone I'm not. What you see is what you get. I am who I am and won't ever hide or apologize for it. The only thing I've ever hidden is my Autistic side, and I'm done masking that by letting my inner uwu out. Eventually, I'll get to the point where all the hate doesn't bother me anymore. For now, keeping on keeping on! ^.^
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