Don't have an account yet? 
Forum Thread
Danganronpa Roleplay [PRIVATE]
Forum-Index → Roleplay → Private RP → Danganronpa Roleplay [PRIVATE]
Posted: Sat, 15/04/2023 18:04 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
…
Oh. God. What the hell was wrong with him?
Why can't I lie well like I used to?
He was losing it. He was-
"...Look, Lucian, whatever the hell's goin on with you matters just as much as everyone else here-"
Lucian paused, and shook his head. "...no. Nononono. N-No. It doesn't. It's okay."
Oh god his tone was mad. Was he mad? Yeah, he'd screwed up. Always screwed up. He was always a screw up.
I'm going to die. If you can't lie, you're going to die.
That was an unspoken truth about life. You'd be dead. Gone. Without a sound. If you couldn't lie.
It'd get to you, it'd always get to you.
Why couldn't he have had a normal life?
No, shut it. That doesn't matter. You don't-
"I... I'm not gonna try to push or anything like that, but... Just... Take care of yourself too, I guess."
Lucian's hands clenched into fists.
"...tha-thank you, but I…"
…
His voice faltered. "But I…"
I don't know where to start. And I'm the disappointment, anyway. I'm not supposed to matter.
"...that doesn't matter. And I don't know where to begin anyway."
When you helped other people for so long, you faded into the background.
When everyone shouted so loudly, and you learned to say nothing. You learned to shut your mouth and just to stand or sit tearlessly.
You learned to hide. You learned to lie. You learned how to survive. But how had he even survived?
Who knew that such a small and delicate body could endure so much?
Maybe his mind had been made of titanium. Maybe that was why. But it seemed like even that seemed to be slipping apart into pieces now. Cracking.
When you became so obsessed with other people, that you lost yourself…
You forgot what you needed anymore. You often forgot you even existed anymore. You often thought you didn't even exist anymore, outside of that.
Just a toy to take out of the box whenever someone wants to play.
But did… Lucian want more than that? He wasn't allowed to want more than that. Not allowed to want anything for himself. He wasn't supposed to have needs or wants or desires. None of that.
Funny how no matter what happened, he always forgave others. Funny how no matter what happened, he could never stop believing in the good of people. Funny how no matter what happened–
He took it all out on himself. But…
What did he want, anyway?
Friends?
An actual healthy family?
Maybe even…
"...love?"
He hadn't realized he'd said that part out loud.
He'd helped so many people to be happy. Did he deserve to be happy too?
No, he couldn't think selfish things like that…
…
What was… Akari doing?
"...I-..."
"...Cya, Lucian... Not... much I can do now, so..."
"...Akari… wait. I'm sorry for asking this, but… what's with…"
…
"...your neck?"
There was a flurry of panic. There was so much noise. Lucian remembered how his vision blurred, he remembered how dizzy he felt. He remembered how his life flashed before his eyes.
He felt so much pain. So much, so much rapid, stinging pain, and yet he was fading fast. Fading, fading away.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
The beeps of the machine gradually grew slower. "DOCTOR, WE'RE LOSING HIM!"
"He's lost so much blood… it's lucky we came in time. But… I don't know if he'll make it."
Don't know if I'll… make it?
The lights were so bright. So impossibly bright.
"Poor kid… I can't imagine who would do this to someone."
They hadn't thought he'd make it to morning. And yet, somehow he did.
A lot of healing had to take place.
Honestly, that wasn't the only time in his life that someone had tried to kill him.
But he'd never be able to forget any time that it happened.
He had the scars on his neck, on his chest, on his arms and his hands. His elbows, his back… all to prove it.
Honestly, Lucian would probably cover up his legs too. Miraculously, he hadn't gotten any scarring on those…
Otherwise… he'd be covering those up for sure, too.
He always cherished the scarf from his mother. He remembered that at the time, it had been way too big. He'd always wondered how she'd made that mistake.
Kathy had gotten a similar scarf, too, except it had been red instead of blue.
Almost funny… how fitting it was.
In a horrible way.
Because he had lived, and she had died.
Lucian cherished that scarf dearly. Because he loved winter so much, and it always reminded him…
Winter covered up all the sins of the earth. It covered up all the blood and the bones and the…
It made everything look beautiful. Everything looked so… hopeful.
It was the death and rebirth of life.
…
I wanted to run away with Kathy. But… when she died… that wasn't an option anymore.
So one day… Lucian did run away from home. By himself.
He knew if he ever returned, his dad would almost certainly kill him. Quite literally.
So he didn't.
It wasn't easy, but somehow, he figured it out.
He didn't cut his hair during that time. Having short hair reminded him of home.
He got a crescent moon hair clip for himself, for his love of the stars and of astrology.
He got a white flower hair clip for himself, in honor of Kathy. She always loved flowers.
He wore sweaters, to cover up his scars, and because they reminded him of the winter cold.
And he rarely fully covered up his legs with his clothing, despite his insecurity. Because he wanted to remind himself of a time before.
He wanted not to remember that anymore. He wanted to block it out.
The things that some people…
Did to both him, and to Kathryn…
So in a way, it was also in honor of her.
And it made him feel colder. The cold reminded him, once again, of the snow.
Of all its pristine frozen beauty, of its relentlessness.
It was sweet, it was calm, it was quiet.
And it put to rest everything you wanted to forget.
Things were so hard, that sometimes, Lucian did want to head back home. But he knew his father would kill him.
So he could never go back.
And besides… knowing his family, they probably already moved again, and he may never find them.
Life would go on without him.
And that was the way it was supposed to be.
Anything was better than going back.
Or…
For all he knew, they might all be dead.
…or…
…that also sounded quite probable, didn't it?
...
And that scarf, that reminded him of both his mother and his sister...
Would also cover up some of the times that he had attempts on his life, and save him from them as well.
Having someone trying to slit your throat...
Trying to hang you...
Was never, ever pleasant.
But the reality of life was that you could die at any moment.
And this Killing Game... Was a reminder...
That no matter how hard you tried to run away from the past...
It always came back to haunt you.
You could never ever escape.
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 07:24 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Just as Akari was walking out, light footsteps dragging their way across the floor, Lucian spoke once again. He spoke, Lucian said something.
"...no. Nononono. N-No. It doesn't. It's okay."
He paused. He stopped in his tracks, teeth clenching tightly.
You're getting maaaad Akari~
It doesn't? The hell you mean it doesn't? No, Lucian, it's not okay, it's not okay it's not okay it's not-
No, no he wasn't going to let the kettle boil over. He wasn't going to poke and prod, he wasn't going to lash out, he wasn't going to say anything. Just say nothing, it's better that way. Can't hurt anyone if you don't say anything.
"...tha-thank you, but I…"
"But I…"
...But what, Lucian? Huh? Gonna keep making excuses? Gonna keep avoiding your own needs like-
Goddamn hypocrite.
nononononono stop stop shutupshutupshu-
"...that doesn't matter. And I don't know where to begin anyway."
...Doesn't matter, huh. Doesn't matter, huh.
...Does it look like I do either...?
...Oh. His ears were ringing now. His hands were balled up pretty tightly, weren't they? He had yet to turn around to face Lucian, he had yet to move a single muscle. His jaw was held so tightly it was like he couldn't breathe.
...
"...Akari… wait. I'm sorry for asking this, but… what's with…"
"...your neck?"
...His... neck?
He took a breath, his hands slowly rising to rest on the bandages. Was it damp? Was it warm? He couldn't tell. Lucian noticed, Lucian saw it. That's all that mattered
Your neck, Akari. You neck. Your hands, your neck. Your hands. Your hands your neck your hands your neck your hands your-
...
"Don't let them see what happened, they'd kill you 'Ri."
...But it wasn't all that easy to hide, was it? He wore oversized coats with big collars. They always saw. He grew his hair out to cover it. They always saw. He kept his head low. They always saw. He wore scarves, bandages, anything. They always saw.
He couldn't even turn his head to look at Lucian. He was still frozen in place.
"...I-..."
Spit it out, Akari. What's wrong with your neck, hm?
"...D-don't... Worry about it..."
...Please.
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 08:34 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
And... Something... A little too familiar.
"...I-..."
"...D-don't... Worry about it..."
Lucian winced. He didn't like the pleading in his voice. He glanced over at him with an earnest look in his eyes.
"...it's alright. I won't judge, I promise. I just want to help..."
...
He paled. "But, if..." Lucian fumbled with the end of his scarf. "...if you'd really rather not talk about it... It's okay."
Akari almost sounded angry. On the verge of breaking down. Lucian just wanted to sit him down and hug him and get him some tea.
"...you seem like the type of person to bottle your emotions. To keep them locked deep inside you, but..."
Lucian breathed deeply. "but it's okay, Akari. You don't have to be strong all the time. I know it's... Really hard to divert from what you're used to. I know what that's like. But... If... You'd really rather not talk about it..."
...
"...then... You can go if you need to. That's okay..."
...
"I just... Want to help. Whatever works best for you, whatever helps you the most... I'm happy with."
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 10:33 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
she is currently relentlessly flicking the s**t out of kubo's forehead rn, bet it's gotta hurt by now
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Oh god, what the hell was he doing? Just walk away, Akari, keep moving, alright? Pick up your feet and... Don't risk it, alright? You can't say anything, don't say anything or-
"...it's alright. I won't judge, I promise. I just want to help..."
Daggers. Daggers were digging into him now, they weren't needles. Why weren't they needles? Why did it sting so much more?
He rubbed the reddened bandage, clasping it as everything seemed to just... Fall apart. His neck. Why was it always his neck?
"But, if... ...if you'd really rather not talk about it... It's okay."
"...you seem like the type of person to bottle your emotions. To keep them locked deep inside you, but..."
Hypocrite. Stop, just stop. Don't, don't go there. Don't, just don't...
"but it's okay, Akari. You don't have to be strong all the time. I know it's... Really hard to divert from what you're used to. I know what that's like. But... If... You'd really rather not talk about it..."
...Don't have to be strong all the time, huh? Strong? Him? Since when was he strong? Weak all his goddamn life, useless good-for-nothing deadweight son of a b***h... Always on the verge of f**king tears every minute of his life, always relying on someone else to save you... Doesn't sound all that "strong" to me, honestly. If Lucian was referring to the whole "bottling up your emotions" BS, damn right he did. Bottled them up in those goddamn glasses, drown his f**king misery away... But that's what started this whole thing, huh? Who knew someone with a life like his had "unfavorable" anger issues, huh?
Huh?
Probably had a bit too much to drink, huh? Didn't know your own strength, huh? Surprising, considering the prior year or two of your hellhole of a life, huh? Lashed out, hurt a s**t-ton of people, just like your old man, huh? Pro'lly like that dude always followin' you around too, eh?
You're sick, Akari, absolutely. f**king. sick.
...So that's why he did it in the first place, right? The guilt of what he did... Did it really take that much for him to finally get it? To finally crack and let the last of what he had left seep out of him, all until he was a shell of a human being? He... Only did it because he didn't want to go through that again, right? "Bottle up" whatever the hell he still had left until... Nothing was truly him anymore, right?
Oh whatever... This wasn't worth thinking about anyways, right? How the hell did this suddenly end up being about him? Weren't they... Y'know, tryin' to tend to whatever was going on with Kubo?
"...then... You can go if you need to. That's okay..."
"I just... Want to help. Whatever works best for you, whatever helps you the most... I'm happy with."
...Just want to help, huh?
"...Are you... Even listening to yourself? Take your own advice for just a second, will you?"
He faltered. His tone was getting sharp again, raising in volume. He was getting mad at Lucian for no goddamn reason. The grip on his neck was tightening.
He took a deep breath, the anger dissipating to a shakier tone.
"...I-... Just..."
He exhaled.
"Lucian, worry about yourself first, alright? I don't need your sympathy, I don't need any help, I don't need any of that, so just... Don't worry about me, got that? ...Just-... Forget about it, please...?"
Wow, way to go Akari, toooootally didn't completely f**k up that one... Said he just wanted to help, did he not? Oh whatever man, you're hopeless... Jesus, get a grip already, wouldja? Would be an absolute shame if you hurt poor little Lucian's feelings, hmm?
"I-..." Words wouldn't come out of his mouth. Couldn't ramble on, couldn't apologize, couldn't say anything else. God, what the hell was he doing?
He gave out a shaky sigh, his feet finally starting to pick up again. He knew it was probably the worst possible option to leave like that, and he already felt bad enough, but my god...
Oh well, what's done is done. Has much as he hated it, he had no control. Couldn't change the past.
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 16:28 (1 Year ago)
now playing: clint eastwood -- gorillaz
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
He staggered out of his dorm, clutching Mei's knife in one hand and a bottle of unlabelled alcohol in the other. Idris's face looked gaunt, his eyelids almost shut. His hand kept raising to pour the drink into his mouth clumsily, as he swayed down the hallways. Was the hallway always this long? He ran sleeve along his burning mouth. He took another swig of drink and groaned, stopping to steady himself. Where was he going again? Oh yeah. Idris blinked rapidly as he reached his destination.
knock knock knock
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
"Come iiiin!" A shrill voice called out. He winced at the noise. Idris stumbled into the dorm. "Bad...idea. Keeping your door open.... I mean..." His words were slurred and he seemed to have trouble focusing.
Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now time for me is nothin', 'cause I'm countin' no age
Now I couldn't be there, now you shouldn't be scared
"...was...there always two of you.... S...aeko?"
Idris pointed at them with the knife.
Saeko stiffened. "Sh-... Idris? What...what are you doing?" They laughed nervously. "You might cause an accident with that...knife."
"I assure you...that anything I do...with the knife is never an...accident." Idris burped audibly.
Saeko wrinkled their nose. "Ew. Also, I thought you avoided alcohol...'cause of what... y'know-" They suddenly looked ashamed.
I'm good at repairs, and I'm under each snare
Intangible (ah y'all), bet you didn't think
So I command you to, panoramic view (you)
Look, I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose, sit and lose all you different crews
Chicks and dudes, who you think is really kicking tunes?
"The past is the past....y'know? I don't want it on my mind anymore...gotta forget...somehow." He gestured to the bottle as he took another swig. Idris sighed.
"Always wonder how my dear....dear....old mother... managed it, y'know? How beating me unconscious...was never on her mind. How...her son's blood on those...those...wrinkled fingers...how she never cared..." He took another swig. "I found the answer! Works very well...for both of us, I guess. But you and I know where she got the money for said...alcohol, right?"
Saeko didn't speak.
"See...I wanna forget the past...I wanna move on, with the help of a few more bottles of this stuff." He burped again. "But to forget it...I need to deal with it...y'know? That's where this thing comes in." Idris pointed the knife at them. "And hence my arrival here."
He started to grin, a wide, twisted grin which filled Saeko with a foul sense of dread.
"I hate you. Saeko Katsumi, I hate you. You're...responsible for all the worst things...that have happened to me. That's why I have to kill you." He stepped forward.
Saeko screamed. It was an unusual sound, not human nor animal, birthed from fresh terror and the sound of something which has never known fear. It was the sound of something which knew that their days were over and it was the shrill shriek of something which knew that death was now inevitable.
Picture you getting down in a picture tube
Like you lit the fuse, you think it's fictional? Mystical? Maybe
Spiritual hero who appears on you to clear your view
When you're too crazy
Idris hummed the Jaws theme tune under his breath. "Dun dun...dun dun...dununununununu- DUN!" He lunged.
Another scream.
Idris snorted. "You think I'd kill you that quickly? Pfft-" He took another swig of alcohol. "You're funny, Saeko. But not funny enough to survive..." He raised a hand to his temple. "Oh god...I'm so drunk.." He sighed. "I'll regret this in the morning. Drinking, I mean. Not the part where I kill you and sing along to those annoying-ly shrill screams of yours...ugh."
Saeko whimpered. Their eyes darted around, desperately looking for a way to escape.
"How's your nose...by the way? Bad? Good. Maybe I'll break another bone before...slitting your throat."
Saeko touched their neck briefly, then whimpered again. Unfortunately they were in no position to grab their own knife, which lay in a drawer on the other side of the room, which Idris conveniently blocked.
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on
"I'm not stupid...Saeko." Idris muttered, stumbling closer. "Yeah, I'm drunk, but not enough for me to notice that you keep staring at that drawer...over there. What's there? Weapon? Knife perhaps? Matchsticks? Oh how I know you love a good old fire...right? You're gonna make me go the same way as-"
"NO!" Saeko yelled. "IF YOU SAY ANYTHING, I SWEARRRR TO GAWD I'LL TELL EVERYONE YOUR SECRET. EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. I'LL TELL THEM EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME. PATHETIC, ISN'T IT? PATHETIC THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU LOVED THAT WEIRDO MEI YOU COULDN'T EVEN-"
" SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Idris roared." SHUT UP OTHERWISE I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT AFRAID OF A LITTLE BLOOD, SAEKO. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW. "
Saeko's eyes widened as the cold metal of the knife blade scratched their neck. A small tear splashed in onto the handle. They could see their terrified reflection, reflected back in the teardrop.
They opened their mouth to scream but-
"No one.... will come and save you...not after I tell them what you've done. Nobody cares...about you. Katsumi."
With a high pitched shriek, Saeko pushed past Idris.
"HELP, PLEASE! PLEASE, SOMEONE, HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"
"...shut the hell up...otherwise I'll cut your tongue out first. Can't beg for mercy when your bloody tongue is laying on the floor...right?" Idris chugged the rest of the bottle.
The tip of the knife danced across the skin on Saeko's neck.
They suddenly froze, holding their breath and scrunching their eyes shut.
"Hoping I'll make it quick? Aww...how...how...pathetic. Spineless rat." He spat.
"Hmm...I wonder. What should I carve first. Your.....face, perhaps?"
The knife dug into Saeko's skin.
A small, crimson teardrop ran down their face.
"I'm going to have fun with this."
I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future (that's right) is coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 17:29 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
her psycho senses are tingling, i wonder who it could be 👀
hmm... i wonder if she's cheering him on or yelling a million insults at him for being a dumbass... either way, free popcorn for the 4(? :squint:) other ghosts roaming around here :)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
He left. He left without saying another word. He couldn't, he couldn't after what seemed like the weight of all his anger crashed down on him. He walked away, he left Lucian alone with Kubo, and quickly tried to make his way back to his room. Back to his room, where he was alone. No one to talk to, no one to see him. It was hella conflicting, that's for sure, feeling awful for doing that but also desperately trying to get away. Was it selfish? Was his reasoning justified?
...It... Was, right? He didn't want things to be about him because... Letting other people have a taste of whatever the hell his life was just... It wouldn't do them any good. Wasn't entirely selfish, right?
Lies, Akari. You know that's just BS. You're so goddamn selfish, doesn't matter what you think, or what anyone thinks. Need I remind you of all the things you've done? Remind you of how goddamn selfish it all was? Do I? Do-
He closed his eyes. Walked faster. Body quivering. Head ringing. Conflicting thoughts, so many conflicting thoughts. He couldn't even begin to try and figure out where one thing started and another thing ended. It was all just.. One big mess. One big, endless cacophony of the endless hell that raged on in his own little head.
...
Screams?
Was that from... Him? Or...
...Where was he?
Doors. Doors with names. Hallway. These were the dorms. Screams. No, not they weren't from him this time. He had been hearing them this entire time. He only just now registered it.
Dorms. Screams. Voices. Open door.
...It was Saeko's open door. Saeko? Saeko.
The bandage was covered in rubies by now, his gloves were slightly damp. Oh. Oh no. Anyways.
He dragged his feet. His heavy feet. They dragged across the floor, bringing him along with those boots. He crawled his way closer to the door. Saeko's door. Voices. Yelling. The door was open. He walked closer.
...It was Saeko. Saeko in their dorm. Saeko was screaming, yelling. Yelling? Yelling at what? Yelling. Screaming.
Where'd the bottle come from...?
Screaming, yelling. Some of it wasn't theirs. Was it his? Was it all in his head?
Maybe.
Bottle. Where'd it come from? Knife. Oh yeah, knife. Blade. Red blade. Blade sprouting rubies.
He knew that blade. Where did it come from? Shiny. Rubies. Bottle. Yelling.
...Oh.
Hey, wasn't that... Mei's? Was Mei here? No, no she was dead. Mei. Blood. Not rubies.
...Blood?
Bottles, yelling. Knife. Mei's knife.
Idris.
...Idris? Saeko. Yelling. Bottle.
He was going for the kill.
Idris. Blood. Yelling. Saeko. Screaming. Pleading. Blood. Yelling. Taunting. Mei. Knife. Bottle.
Oh.
He pushed the door open fully. He looked at the two.
Idris going for the kill. Idris and the bottle. Idris and the knife. Idris and Saeko's screams.
...What the hell was he supposed to do...?
Should he even do anything?
...Oh.
Of course. No control anyways. Spur of the moment, I guess.
That's how bad s**t happens, Akari.
Baaaaaad s**t.
Don't need to tell you twice, huh?
His feet moved him closer. Ever so closer. Blade's reach? Maybe.
"IDRIS-"
Oh. Oh god that hurt. Yelling. Yelling hurt. His voice was already hoarse, couldn't make it worse, right?
"THE HELL?!"
The bottle. Knife. He was yelling. Idris was drunk. Drunk as hell. Full bottle, huh? Probably more. Probably more. Wasn't easy to deal with a drunk.
Pretty sure they both knew that.
Hands. Hands... held up? In surrender? Peace? Ease? Preparation? Who knows.
"JESUS CHRIST MAN, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!"
Ouch. Was his voice already giving out? Hm. Oh. Ohhh well. Too bad.
He didn't really know what he was doing anyways.
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 17:36 (1 Year ago)
Sawyer Laurens's POV
Ring. Ring ring. Ring ring ring.
They wouldn't stop ringing.
What was that noise?...
Lucian Arbred's POV
Lucian's eyes widened. His heart seemed to stop for a moment.
"no... I--"
He shook his head.
"...that's... Different, Akari. That's... Different."
...
Hypocrite. An absolute goddamned hypocrite. That was what Lucian was. But....it...
It was okay, wasn't it? It was okay.
Because... How he felt wasn't... Supposed to...
Oh god. He... He seemed so angry. Lucian felt like he might vomit.
"...I--... Just..."
...
"Lucian, worry about yourself first, alright? I don't need your sympathy, I don't need any help, I don't need any of that, so just... Don't worry about me, got that? ...Just-... Forget about it, please...?"
"...o... Okay..."
...
Like that would be possible. Worry about himself first.
Don't help someone who probably desperately needs it
Don't worry about him.
Forget about it.
"...sure..."
This hurt in a different kind of way. Here was someone telling him that he mattered, that he should take care of himself too but
It didn't feel good at all it didn't feel good at all
I just wanted to help.
...
I'm sorry.
"I-..."
You... What, Akari?
Oh... He was leaving.
...
He watched Akari walk out that door, feeling more and more helpless by the moment.
It was only when he was gone that his eyes gave way to tears and he let out a hiccuping sob.
....
wait... what was that noise?
Someone was screaming. For... help?
His eyes widened. Oh god.
Someone might be getting killed.
Oh god.
Not again.
Please not again.
Lucian winced. He didn't want to leave Kubo behind, alone, like this.
"I'll be back as soon as I can, okay? I promise... Kubo, you'll be okay. I'll do everything I can to help you. I-"
He felt at his forehead. He felt horrible leaving Kubo here...
"I just gotta take care of this. Then I'll be back. Before you know it."
Lucian kissed the unconscious Kubo on the cheek, and then ran from the room, not even daring to ask himself what the f**k he just did.
Okay, okay, he was asleep.
Nonono that was still wrong
But
...
Oh god
He didn't know anymore
Akari was in here. Oh, Akari was in here. Idris...
Was swooping in to kill Saeko?!
Lucian's eyes widened and he ran over.
"NO! IDRIS, NO!"
He puffed and panted.
"please..." he begged, more gently and softly now. "...Akari is right. You don't have to do this. Can- can we talk about this?"
I'm not letting someone else die, dammit. Not again not again not again not again.
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 17:39 (1 Year ago)
He shuffled around, momentarily distracted by the sound of another voice.
Idris peered at Akari, swaying a little.
"Akari! Come to join...me?" He slurred. "Gutting this fish?" He turned around. "Where...where did they go?"
He groaned.
"I was...so close..."
"JESUS CHRIST MAN, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!"
"Whaat? Nah...I'm fine...thanks....Akari..." He rubbed his face quickly. "I already planned to kill....Saeko....before getting drunk. Alcohol was just....added fun...I guess..."
He staggered forward.
"Now they're gone....thanks so much..."
He squinted. "You don't look...too good yourself....A-...what's your name again? Man....I'm forgetting why I'm here....maybe I drank-" He burped. "Too much....pardon me....heh.."
"Have some drink....makes your feel...better..." Idris handed Akari an empty bottle.
"...I'm gonna go find....Saeko....you joining?"
"...Akari is right. You don't have to do this. Can- can we talk about this?"
Another voice.
"Ughhh....what part of...no....do you understand...
None of you would...understand...why I have to do this....
...also won't tell you..."
He stepped forward, almost crashing to the floor.
"I should...get another bottle..."
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 17:48 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
What... Was Idris saying? He stared at the empty bottle.
Alcohol...
No, not alcohol. Nonono. Not again.
Nobody should have access to that. It was horrible stuff.
"I...Idris... I don't know what you're going through... But you shouldn't kill Saeko. It- won't solve anything. It'll end another life, it'll end your own, it'll-"
It'll end your own.
"...Idris. this is about Mei, isn't it? You just wanted to get yourself killed so you could be with her. While taking out someone who... Who hurt you in some way or other while you were at it."
Lucian became very still.
"look... Idris. You really don't have to do this. I know it's hard to believe right now, but... Please. This isn't the answer."
He looked at him pleadingly. "please."
Achilles, Achilles, just put down the bottle,
Don't listen to what you've consumed...
It's chaos, confusion and wholly unworthy
Of feeding and it's wholly untrue
You may feel no purpose nor a point for existing
It's all just conjecture and gloom
And there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it
Do not waste yourself on this roof
Hear those bells ring deep in the soul
Chiming away for a moment
Feel your breath course frankly below
And see life as a worthy opponent
Today, of all days, see
How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome...
He reached out a hand to Idris. If only he would take it...
...
Then again.
Who was Lucian to talk?
He hadn't lost his... His Mei.
Idris had.
The love of his life was gone, and nothing Lucian could say or do could change that.
Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 18:12 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
ooooh drama
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
...Fish? Gutting a fish. He never liked fish. Greasy little things. They swam against the current in that little river far below. Oh. Saeko? A fish?
Gutting a fish.
"I-... W-What?"
Join him? No, he didn't like gutting fish. Didn't like fish. Deer, lamb, rabbit, those were better.
But fish?
Little sardines. Bundled up. Fishing was never fun for him.
...What?
...Saeko was gone now. Idris seemed pretty disappointed.
Yeah no s**t. He wanted to gut them you dumbass.
...Alcohol. "Added fun", huh.
"...Yeah, sure is, isn't it..." His tone was harsh. Melancholic, but harsh. He looked at the bottle. The knife.
I have a feeling you know damn well as much as I do what absolute bulls**t that is.
...Oh the sarcasm. Yeah, sure, you're welcome Idris.
God he was out of it. Funny how he mentioned how terrible Akari looked.
"...Have you looked in the damn mirror yet?" He mumbled under his breath, staring at the empty bottle that was handed to him.
...Alcohol. Good thing it was empty. He heard alcohol tasted good in recipes, but he liked it alone.
...Did he? It's been a while since he's had some. I wonder why. Alcohol... Strange thing it was.
Ruined his life, sure, but it was still an old friend, wasn't it?
Thank god it was empty.
He took the bottle as his hand fell to the side, limply carrying the glass.
...Oh. Lucian? He followed?
Maybe he heard it too?
Huh. Lucian.
Drinks. Made em feel better, huh?
Nah. He felt godawful. Only did it because of the quiet. Only did it because everything went numb. Not much "better", huh.
"...Idris, stop."
He was probably gonna kill someone if left alone like this. Yeah, sure, maybe he wanted Monokuma's BS, but seriously?
Whatever Lucian was saying, he was probably right. Somethin about... Not killin, or whatever. Yeah.
Idris didn't wanna talk, huh. Yeah, he didn't really mind. Didn't really want to know. He just didn't want anything stupid to happen.
Stupid. Liiiikkkeee... This whole game? Yeah, that was pretty stupid.
Oh. He almost fell. He braced himself. For what? Maybe the fall or something, but it didn't happen. Not yet at least.
"No, Idris, stop."
Firm. His voice was firm. Not like it mattered. Like hell Idris would listen. Just had to hope the alcohol would knock him out before anything else did.
Posted: Mon, 17/04/2023 03:11 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
"...alcohol... Isn't fun," he murmured. "it can cause so many problems, ruin so many lives, if not used in moderation. It can damage your relationships, it can damage your health, your life, even end your life or those around you."
Lucian felt like he'd said too much, and a nauseousness took over him.
He quickly changed the subject.
"Idris, please. You just need to lie down for a bit, okay? Get it out of your system. There are better ways to cope with your pain than... Drinking, and trying to kill people."
...
"I know you probably feel like you have no choice. That's... How a lot of criminals often feel." He paused. "Th-that's- not to say that I'm calling you one. Of course not. I just meant... As an example. A lot of people, in general, actually. I don't know why I said that."
You know EXACTLY why you said that.
"please... Get some rest, okay?"
He sighed and shook his head. First Kubo, and now Idris. How many more people might have to be watched? The deaths, the circumstances of everyone's past lives... Were all really taking a toll on them.
Lucian couldn't help but look gratefully over at Akari. The poor guy didn't deserve to always be caught up in stuff like this. That was Lucian's job.
If only I had a...
No, he...
He wouldn't want to have that.
Not a gun. Never a gun. He didn't want to be a threat to anyone.
But both Idris and Kubo seemed to be rather unstable at the moment. Unpredictable. Especially Idris, freaking about to kill someone and drunk as a dog, good gosh!
And Lucian was such a small person, really. One of the smallest people here. If he had to restrain someone, he would have to rely on a few physical techniques he wound up learning, and that might not always work.
...
Who knew who else might need help?...
Maybe everyone did. Lucian swallowed harshly.
Because if the Ultimate Therapist couldn't help everyone, then who could?...
Would they all just die here? Was he hoping for nothing?
Lucian couldn't bear the thought.
Sawyer Laurens's POV
The faucet made such a funny sound.
Fsssh.
Sawyer was washing away the pasta sauce. But for all the pasta sauce they cleaned up, more seemed to dispense from their hands.
Their hands...
Pasta sauce...
Their hands...
There was screaming that Sawyer didn't quite recognize, and the sound of a vehicle screeching to a stop.
Wee-oo. Wee-oo. Wee-oo.
...
And then....
Then there was...
Posted: Wed, 19/04/2023 18:47 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
Miyako's hand found the doorknob. Was Sawyer clawing at their face? Washing their hands? She wasn't sure and she didn't particularly care.
She twisted her wrist, and the door creaked open. Her foot shot out to silence it.
Just quietly leave...
Kubo Atsushi
Someone was touching his forehead. Kubo frowned, trying to move away from the contact.
"Don...don't touch me..."
He blinked, but the lights were too strong. He furrowed back downwards, squeezing his eyes shut.
Posted: Wed, 19/04/2023 21:16 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
God, why did I go and kiss him on the cheek?! I shouldn't have done that... Even if he was asleep, and probably wouldn't notice. But even if he didn't notice that doesn't make it right oh my god
What the hell had he been thinking? There was no way Kubo had liked that. They'd only kissed by accident before. It was an impulse, and then Kubo having a concussion so he- so he wasn't able to think completely consciously, and kissed Lucian on the lips for-- whatever reason...
They weren't dating. They never would be dating. Was Lucian just desperately hoping for...
Something? Anything?
Why was he such a coward? Why couldn't he tell him, in words... Or on paper?
How had Shi and Miyako done it? How had... Mei and Idris done it? If they had, of course. He wasn't entirely sure of the nature of their relationship.
Lucian was NEVER this bad at socializing. This Killing Game- these feelings... Messed everything up.
Or maybe he was just losing it. He didn't know.
But Idris, more than anything, more than anyone, maybe, was losing it right now.
"...you don't have to... Kill anyone, okay? Can't we just..." He paused.
...
He didn't finish his sentence, still eyeing the empty bottle in Idris's hand.
Can't we just WHAT, Lucian?
...
Just get a drink and grieve together? In peace?
"...I'm sorry," he whispered.
If I was dead, she'd be alive. This is my fault. No Futatabi dead, no Setsuna in the state he is now, no Mei dead, no... Idris being left like this.
...
I'm a horrible person and a horrible excuse for a therapist. Why couldn't I just-
...
Regardless of how worthless you probably are, Lucian, you're not going to get anywhere moping about it. Just help, dammit. Stop being so freaking weak and pathetic.
Help.
HELP.
HELP, DAMMIT!
"We can just... Talk about this, okay?"
Sawyer Laurens's POV
No, it was okay. She could just go.
...
That was fine. That was okay.
What? What was okay?
I wanna get out of this stupid place.
I wanna see everybody again.
Why did they put me in here?
I didn't do anything wrong.
Did I?
Is something wrong with me?
I don't remember what happened.
Did something happen?
Did I...
Do something?
I wanna go home.
"Oh! You're leaving?" They tilted their head. "Okay then. Seeya!"
...
...honestly, that felt... Somewhat familiar.
Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 17:26 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
Leaving? She froze in her tracks, checking their expression. They didn't seem particularly murderous, at least? She probably wouldn't be attacked?
She swallowed nervously. "Yeah... uh, bye, Sawyer. If you're okay with that..." The knob twisted in her hand.
Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 18:28 (1 Year ago)
Tears ran down their face, eyes wide with fear.
They were sobbing and sobbing, eyes blurry with tears and snot dribbling down their face.
They ran and ran, running for their life and terrified to look back for the sole chance he was still there.
Saeko ran and ran until-
"OW!"
They bumped into someone.
"Miyako?"
Idris Kallikrates
"We can just... Talk about this, okay?"
"...what if I don't want to-" He slurred.
"Idris, stop."
"FINE, OKAY! IF YOU'RE SO GODDAMN DESPERATE FOR THAT WORTHLESS RAT TO NOT GET KILLED THEN FINE, I'LL STOP AND GO BACK TO MY ROOM AND MAYBE SLIT MY OWN THROAT. IS THAT BETTER? HUH? HUH?"
He clutched the knife.
"YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO TALK ABOUT IT, EVEN THOUGH I'VE LITERALLY JUST TRIED TO KILL THE PERSON WHO STARTED IT ALL? REALLY? HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA GO DOWN, EH? EH? LISTEN TO ME YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS. LISTEN TO ME-" His eyes looked crazed and there was blood on his lips. He swayed like a madman.
Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 18:55 (1 Year ago)
Sawyer Laurens's POV
I mean... Yeah. Of course. Everything was always fine.
Things were never not fine, y'know?
A strange liquid seemed to be seeping from Sawyer's eyes. They weren't
quite sure why, and, to be honest, they were quite perplexed. What was
going on?
"Yeah... Yeah, s-sure! Seeya. Miyako. That's... Cool."
Miyako? Was that her name?
...
Everything was just so confusing.
Why was there so much... Sauce?
So, so much of it.
Almost like that spillage of it.
Never heard of pasta sauce spilling incidents before.
Especially not from people.
But that was totally a thing that happened.
I think...
They watched Miyako leave.
...
Mom... Dad... Where were you?
Why didn’t you come and see me?
…
Was I bad? Did I do something bad?
…
Who… were they again?
It seemed like they were important. In some way, or other.
…
Sawyer tilted their head. There was... A person. Another person. Did they know about the strange liquids?
Those seemed to be seeping from their eyes as well...
"Hiiii! Who are you? Wh-whatcha... Doing here?"
Lucian Arbred’s POV
”No!” he cried out, jumping towards Idris and grabbing
hold of the weapon.
”...please… Idris. You don’t have to die. You don’t have to
kill anyone either. It won’t solve anything.”
He looked at him with a certain pleading in his eyes, a begging for
him to see another way.
”...I know you’re hurting, really badly, but please…”
…
”This isn’t what should be done. I know that… you don’t
realize it right now. But…”
Lucian was visibly trembling, every inch of him. He looked down, still
gripping tightly to the weapon Idris was holding.
”...or maybe you do. But no one else has to die, okay? We can…
all figure things out. O-Okay? We can all be friends… maybe- you and
Saeko don’t- have to be friends. I- don’t know the history between you
two. But… if they hurt you, killing them won’t solve anything.”
…
”...they… have a life too. They’re a person too. We’re all
people. We all have our own lives, our own friends, our own
families…”
…
”...our own dreams. And… I- know everything’s in pieces right
now. I know I can’t possibly understand your pain right now. But if
you die… all we’ll have is another person to grieve for. Idris… I
don’t want that to happen again either. Just like you don’t. And… if
Saeko did something so bad to you… isn’t the worst punishment of all
to let them live with what they did? To make them understand what they
did, and live with it?”
There was a strangely off sound to Lucian’s voice, in his last two
sentences. He almost felt like he had been possessed by someone else,
something else.
”...if you killed them, that’d just be a waste, wouldn’t it?
You’d be putting them out of their misery.”
Lucian blinked. ”...I… wait… what- happened, what did I just-”
…
”...but… as I was saying, Idris. Killing them isn’t the way,
okay?... and killing yourself isn’t either. Bloodshed will just breed
more bloodshed.”
He hesitated.
”...or… do you just… not care anymore? I… don’t think Mei
would have wanted this, Idris. I’m sorry… I know I can’t be considered
a friend. I’ve wronged you too. But I just… want to help. And there
are other ways to get through this, other than… death. So… please… can
we figure something out?”
Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 18:56 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
"A-Ack-" Miyako's back hit the wall, and pain instantly shot through her entire upper body. "What the hell...?" Her eyes landed on... Saeko?
"Saeko? What're you doing here? And- oh-" Her breath caught in her throat. "Are you crying? Why? What's wrong?"
And her eyes darted off to the side and she saw Sawyer then.
Also crying.
"E-Eh-?!" she stammered. "Is- Is everyone okay?"
Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 19:00 (1 Year ago)
Shi was wandering around in the kitchen, admiring the knives. She is now officially open for interaction.
Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 19:08 (1 Year ago)
"He- he....HE TRIED TO KILL ME, MIYAKO- H-HE HAD A KNIFE-" Saeko sobbed. "He...he was gonna gut me like a fish. T-that's what he said." Saeko's sobs grew louder. "Oh, Miyako, he's gonna kill me, he'll find me. He...he was drunk. Screaming like a madman. I think...he's gonna kill Akari. And Lucian. AND ME! He's gonna kill all of us, Miyako, you don't understand. I knew him since I was young. He's not right in the head, Miyako." They were in hysterics.
"H-he, blames me for everything. I never did a thing to hurt him, I tried to comfort him but he just screamed and threatened me and tried to kill me. H-he killed his father, you know. With an axe. Into i-itty bitty...pieces. He's...not right. He's gonna kill all of us Miyako. YOU'VE GOTTA STOP HIM, PLEASE-"
Idris Kallikrates
"I guess...you're right. Unfortunately."
He scowled.
"It wouldn't help....but it would make me feel a hell of a lot better.
You better tell that rat to watch out."
He turned around and stalked back to his dorm, empty bottle still in his hand.
Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 19:10 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
"Woah, woah!" Miyako seized Saeko by the wrists. "Hold on. Idris is trying to kill you? He killed his father with an axe? What?" She pulled Saeko into the room and resolutely slammed the door shut.
"Explain. You're safe here, okay? Just... take a few deep breaths, and we can talk about this."