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Danganronpa Roleplay [PRIVATE]
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Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 16:35 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
...there's only one way to die, and it's by giving up.
The words rung in his ears.
His mother had gone one day and hung herself... She was dead. She was dead.
...she was truly dead. She gave up. She gave up on herself, on her children, on...
On having a better life.
And all Lucian could think was... He didn't want anyone else to feel that helpless.
As helpless as she felt, or as helpless as he felt when she left, without saying a word.
As Lucian got older, he wondered if it was really his mother who had hung herself, or if she was murdered.
Honestly, that could be the case, there was no way of knowing for sure at this point. Caroline Arbred was underneath the ground by now, somehow ever thinner and ever more fragile than she was before.
...
But Lucian hadn't given up. He'd told Kathryn he'd never leave her side. That he'd protect her, that she'd protect him, that they'd protect each other. That they'd get out, that everything would be okay...
Who knew such promises were so fragile they could be broken by a single bullet.
Poor Kathryn. She had layers and layers of clothing for a bullet to snag in. She even wore layers of newspaper underneath her clothes. She was just so afraid...
But she'd never predicted the first place someone would aim would be her head.
Someone put a bullet through his dear sister's brain, and...
Even if he could have called the ambulance, they never would have come in time.
And even if she could have been saved, she never would have been the same.
He'd never forget the terrified, shattered look in her eyes, slowly fading away.
We were supposed to run away one day. Have a better life, you and I.
If only she was here, she'd be studying to be a doctor... Maybe she'd even be the Ultimate Doctor. She was smart enough for that.
Lucian may have decided to do that too, if...
If it weren't for...
...
Seeing all the blood, the gore, the injuries, the sickness, the death, the helplessness... It all reminded you of those parts of your life he wanted to forget. Was... It so cowardly? That he didn't want to go back to all that?
He wanted to help people, but...
...
He was still helping people, right?
Well... He couldn't do that if he gave up. He couldn't do that if he was dead.
In a way, he had become a therapist for Kathryn.
...
Kathy... Are you out there somewhere?
...
"...Tell me, Miyako. Tell me ghosts exist. Tell me that she's safe, that she's at peace. Even if it's a lie..." He let out a faint whimper.
...
"...please."
...it was the bear. It was the mastermind who was behind this.
It wasn't his fault...
"...I-- I just... Wish I could have saved everyone, Miyako. And if everyone else dies, I don't know what I'll do. In a way... It feels like we, as therapists, can't always provide all the answers. We can't always end the pain, only ease it. Everyone is always in pain, and dying is the only way to end that. A life without pain is meaningless, and... Some people are worth suffering for. Maybe the most important thing in times like this..."
He closed his eyes, and then opened them again.
"...hope. You just can't give up hope. When truth is at an end, when trust may be withering, when everything else fails... That's all you can give. The hope that things will someday be better. And... I guess I can hope, that even though I..."
"...even though I didn't save her, she still died with hope in her heart. That we'd get out of that house together. Get out of that life together."
Kathy would be wearing all her favorite dresses and she'd be excitedly telling him how her co-workers had complimented her on all of them. And how... Nothing of THAT nature had happened.
How she'd gone out and had fun and how she'd learned so much about medicine.
She'd tell him about the first life she saved, and the next. And the grateful looks in people's eyes.
They'd exchange stories about their clients, and weep together about those they couldn't save.
Maybe they'd even grow a garden together...
Kathy... One of the few people he could call family in this world.
She was just fifteen.
Just fifteen.
And some monster put a bullet through her brain.
And Lucian, Lucian almost couldn't...
...
But he'd never kill anyone.
No matter what they did.
Lucian wasn't like that.
He'd never wish death upon anyone.
"...I think you may be right."
Not giving up...
Not giving up hope...
Their own choices...
"...not all of them, Miyako. Your family, and... Your clients. Those people, they don't always die by choice. Sometimes... It's an accident. Sometimes they wanted to stop, but it was too late."
His wide brown eyes had never looked wider.
"...some of them, had their lives ripped away from them. By others..."
...
In all his time as a therapist, Lucian had never realized just how hard on him everything had been. All those people that you met, and talked to, and grew attached to. You had so much hope for them, for their potential.
You wanted to see them so well. But so often, they didn't. They struggled. They all struggled with their own issues. Fights against themselves, their families, their lives. Begging you to just give them a reason to believe. A reason not to jump off the ledge.
You know what I say? F*ck em. Die with spite. You are who you are and even if you can bleed out in a back alley, those words'll be on your tongue, even as it lolls out the back of your skull. Own it. You're you, Lucian. No matter what happens, you won't die here, even if you lose every drop of blood in your body, or your heart is torn to pieces. So long as you don't give up, you're here with us."
...
"...with spite, huh?" Lucian shook his head.
He never wanted to hold spite in his heart for any human being. Maybe that's why... For the most part, he concentrated it all on himself.
But he swore he felt his heart stop at those words.
"even if you can bleed out in a back alley"
...
Lucian made a strange choking noise, as though someone had just stabbed him with spears.
"...I almost did," he choked out, his voice scarcely a whisper.
No one had heard him either.
What was... What was she talking about?
"...and... Who am I, exactly?"
Lucian Arbred. The Ultimate Therapist. 16 years old. Trapped in an abusive household his whole life. Constantly moving. Everyone who had loved him, who he could have called family, dead. A boy so kind and self-sacrificing that he almost never thinks of himself. Always thinking himself as unimportant.
...
Loves writing, loves reading, loves snow, loves the stars, loves Greek mythology, loves astrology, loves philosophical talk, loves people, loves humanity.
...
Too forgiving for his own good. Has absolutely no ego. Always thinking ten steps ahead. Somewhat intelligent. Always gave himself up to the police but refused to testify against anyone but himself.
...
Life and death blur into one. Thinks of himself as nothing but a ghost.
...
Loves and cares for everyone.
...
Was that... Who he was? The words, all those words. So meaningless.
...
"...I remember she loved flowers. I remember she hated braces. She liked the texture of wood. Didn't really believe much in fairy tales but read me them anyways..."
Kathy... Are you okay?
What kind of question was it, really? She was dead.
"...I can't imagine dying with spite in my heart, Miyako. No matter what some people may have done to me..."
He reached for his scarf with a shudder, tugging at it.
"...not... Not most people, anyway."
I'll never forgive that man.
...
Because how could you do it to Kathy? Do it to him, dammit! Why couldn't it have been him there?
She would have wanted me to live. She would have been proud of me.
...
Oh, Kathryn... I'm so sorry.
A determined, hurt look formed in his eyes.
"...but I'm... Not going to give up. No one else is going to die. I'll make sure of it. At least... Try to." He sighed. "...I feel like no one else is going to commit murder. Futatabi's death only happened because of the oxygen factor, but... If Monokuma cooks some other dire thing up, I don't know. Maybe we can all work through it together. We can't let him separate us again."
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 17:50 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
He was so vulnerable, so easy to take advantage of. Again, she felt a flash of anger towards Kubo- and snuffed it out. Now wasn't the time.
"I can't tell you that," she said as softly as she could. "It's up to you to believe what you want to believe. Only you know who they were to you- and the well wishes they left behind with you."
She exhaled through her nose. "You can't save everyone, you know. You can do your damn well best, and that's it. That's all." Miyako, please don't leave me. Miyako? Miyako? MIYAKO? "Sometimes it's time to take care of yourself. That's the time right now."
Maybe it was wrong, using him to justify her own mistakes. To say what she'd done was right.
So she turned off that line of thought. No advice. Just comfort.
"Lucian- I don't know what you're dealing with. We'll probably never be friends. But you have to trust me on this- you haven't done anything wrong. Life's dealt you a sh*tty hand, and that's that- you just need to deal with it. That's all you need to do."
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 22:12 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
"...oh. right. Of course..."
Now I know why I didn't look for my own answers... It wasn't just that they don't matter. It's that there really are no answers. He gritted his teeth. There's only one thing... Lies. I get paid to lie to people.
There were no real answers for anything. All you had were your hopes.
And when you wiped away that hope, there was nothing underneath.
"You can't save everyone, you know. You can do your damn well best, and that's it. That's all."
"No. Nononono. That's not-- that's not right. I'm supposed to save everyone."
...
But I couldn't.
"Sometimes it's time to take care of yourself. That's the time right now."
"It's alright. Really. I'm fine."
Liar. You're not.
THERE'S NO DAMN POINT TO TAKING CARE OF MYSELF.
But--
The Ultimate Therapist is supposed to hold his own hand.
"I'm. Fine." His voice sounded strangely firm, almost angry.
...
"...where's Setsuna? He needs me right now. Like you said."
But the anger was not directed at Miyako. It was directed at himself.
YOU'VE BURDENED HER FOR TOO LONG. SHE'S NOT THE THERAPIST HERE!!
...
GET IT THE HELL TOGETHER, YOU STUPID WORTHLESS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING MUR-
...what?
I didn't do that... You remember? He did.
...
Right. Of course. Just a slip of the tongue, Luke.
...
Please don't call me that. That's not my name anymore...
...
Miyako interrupted his conflicted thoughts.
"Lucian- I don't know what you're dealing with. We'll probably never be friends. But you have to trust me on this- you haven't done anything wrong. Life's dealt you a sh*tty hand, and that's that- you just need to deal with it. That's all you need to do."
He looked at her with a pained expression. "I'm a therapist, right?" His voice cracked. "Friend to everyone... And to no one. I'm on a mission, and I can't fail. ...where's Setsuna?"
...deal with it.
No, don't think about it.
Lucian knew he had issues. He knew denial wasn't a good thing. But...
He couldn't drag others down with his own feelings. With his own trauma.
The whole point was to save others.
He wasn't part of that picture.
"...thank you, Miyako."
He shouldn't have been dumping his problems on her like this...
"...sorry if I bothered you."
...
"...do you know where he is? It's really important that I check he's okay."
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 22:48 (1 Year ago)
"There you are." She turned to the others. "Sorry about whatever I interrupted, just checking up on my darling Miyako." The sweet way the word 'darling' rolled off of her tongue was nothing more than the taste of a sweet berry before the poison kicks in.
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 22:56 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
Miyako opened her mouth to respond, a thousand apologies on her lips, and then Shi burst in. A flicker of irritation was shoved under as she took Shi's hand.
"I was kinda in the middle of something, love," she murmured. "I guess you're here now, but..."
Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 23:16 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
It... Was actually... Nice talking to Miyako. Almost.
It was ALMOST NICE.
Never did he think he'd ever think that.
Well... People could often surprise you.
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 00:08 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
"What he says doesn't reflect on you," she reminded him gently. "He's grieving- he might say things he doesn't mean."
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 00:14 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
He dipped his head, in a bow of respect, before slowly walking out.
He went off to find Setsuna, who... He saw was hanging out with... Sutaraitsu?
Lucian raised his eyebrows. Oh... Gosh. Maybe he was interrupting something. He awkwardly lingered, giving a little wave. "...hey, Setsuna."
Should I... Go?
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 00:36 (1 Year ago)
Kubo Atsushi
Kubo wasn't sure how he'd gotten here. It was as if his feet had guided him, instead of him them. Just here- staring blankly into an empty dorm, wondering how he got here.
He took a hesitant step forward, then paused.
On the bed, an angel sat, humming as she plucked at a ukelele.
The delicate sounds touched his ears, and he stood stock still, listening to the tune. Something he couldn't remember, from long ago, on the radio- something that'd gotten popular, about a boy singing to a girl far away.
He closed his eyes and got lost in the melody.
The name was on the tip of his tongue-
Kubo.
His eyes opened. The angel stared back, amber eyes flickering in the dying light. Somehow, he recognized, that though they were on another planet and such a thing was impossible- sunlight was streaming in, illuminating her form. She had summoned it- or rather, brought it with her.
For what was an angel if not brighter than the heavens themselves?
She was smiling- head tipped a bit to the side, asking him to say something. Her hand reached out and he leaned his cheek into her delicate, sun-kissed touch.
"Kaoru...?" he tried.
The angel's face twisted into a monstrous snarl, and she dissolved in a shower of light. He flung up his arms to shield his face- and when he brought them down again, the room was dark and grim once more.
Here we are, he thought. At Hope's Peak Academy. Our future. The world's future. The trees are glitching, the sky is falling, and we are its witness.
And for that, all he could do was laugh.
Miyako Hiroto
"Yeah... bye Lucian." She watched him leave.
His figure vanished around the corner and she turned on Shi instantly. "What the hell, Shi? He was practically crying on me! You didn't need to interfere!"
Setsuna Jun
A voice. Someone familiar. Someone not Sutaraitsu...
He didn't want to talk to someone not Sutaraitsu right now. He dragged his turtleneck closer and pretended the ghost didn't exist. "S-Shall we go?" he asked Sutaraitsu. "It's really cold today... Do you think winter'll be over soon? It's so cold..."
The world was blurring. Was an earthquake happening, or were his legs just having the shakes?
"Pin... thanks for the hairpin."
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 00:53 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
He heard what the boy was saying. He winced. Yeah... Maybe he didn't want to talk to him right now.
"...I'm sorry, I-- if I'm interrupting something, I'll go..."
...
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Darcy Harper's POV
Everything was so horrible, and confusing. And he was trapped here. In this place. With no way out. In this horrible, horrible ship, and soon they'd all be going back to that horrible school--
And he might die here. He knew he might die here. It'd just be the end of him and he'd just be forgotten and GONE and FORGOTTEN and gone and forgotten and--
...Gone and forgotten. And no one would ever remember he even existed. It'd be just like Sawyer's mind.
He would just vanish from the minds of everyone.
There are worse things than being forgotten, a voice in his mind seemed to whisper. One that sounded all too much like Mei.
His eyes widened. "No..." he choked out.
You could, for instance, be a bad person, Darcy! And you are one, aren't you?
"Pl-Please... Leave me alone. Go away."
I know what you did to your sister.
Darcy went pale.
...
"That's in the past, I-- I had no choice, I--"
You're a horrible person.
"I just COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! OKAY?"
...
Oh god. This spaceship was making him nauseous.
Darcy sobbed into the pillow. When would they get back to the school?...
At least there he could pretend Mei wasn't dead.
He could pretend everything wasn't wrong.
But yeah, right. Darcy was never that great at pretending.
He never understood how Sawyer did it...
The only way to rid yourself of your sorrows was to drink and drug them away...
And then the guilt, the sickening guilt that came afterward...
It was just too much.
He was a sinner for that reason too, wasn't he?
I bet God hates you.
"To be honest, he probably does..."
Why wouldn't He?
Darcy narrowed his eyes to slits. Someone had gone and f**king trapped them all here. It was because of that person he was in here, crying. Some monster had gone and--
Shifting the blame, are we?
...
"And that's why I need you, don't I, Sawyer? After all... You're the one thing that can distract me from this grim reality."
...
What now? Try to stop another murder from being committed? Just sit around and hope nothing bad happens?
...
...what... Now?
Sawyer Laurens's POV
Was the party... Over?
...what party?
There was something so off and dim about this place.
Sawyer blinked, a strangely confused look upon their face.
"Someone, please tell me what's going on..."
Killing Game? Trapped in school?
Strange. That couldn't be right.
Question was, what was right?
Maybe someone here knew answers. But who?...
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 01:23 (1 Year ago)
Setsuna Jun
He kept his gaze fixed on Sutaraitsu. "We're going," he repeated. "Right?"
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 05:13 (1 Year ago)
Sutaraitsu Umemoto
Sutaraitsu snapped out of his daze. "Oh, umm, sure!" He clutched his elbow with his hand anxiously. "Let's go!"
Then he saw Lucian. "Ohh, umm...h-heyy!" He nudged at Setsuna's arm. "Umm..."
What do I say?
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 05:15 (1 Year ago)
Setsuna Jun
Oh! He's so small...
Setsuna hoped his blush wouldn't be too obvious. "What is it, 'Sutes? Is there something you want?"
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 05:22 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
"I can... See I'm interrupting something. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this awkward."
So... Setsuna has... Something of a love life here, huh?
He smiled slightly, almost feeling a slight tinge of jealousy.
...
Kubo.
Why did everything always seem to go back to him?
He needs you, more than any of us.
...
I mean...
Maybe he should go check if Kubo was okay. Right?
After all, it seemed he was... Just interfering with Setsuna's social life here. Just bothering him.
...
Yeah... Maybe...
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 05:42 (1 Year ago)
Sutaraitsu Umemoto
"Aaaaaactually, nevermind!" He dragged Setsuna to the cafeteria. "So, umm...does ice cream sound good to you? W-We can share a cup together."
He put his hands between his legs (like how cats do it idk). "Do you think a race of aliens that don't get hurt from...uh...weapons and stuff would invade Earth one day?"
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 05:46 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Thank god that was over.
Lucian found his way to a dorm door. He felt strangely certain that... Kubo was behind it. He wasn't quite sure why.
Nervously, he prepared to knock. What was he even so worried about?
...well. The last time Kubo had seen him, he'd told him he hated him and would kill him if he could. Oh, well. He supposed he... Better talk to Kubo. About what happened. Maybe even... Forget about it?
He knocked on the door.
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 18:05 (1 Year ago)
Setsuna Jun
"Uh- well, I'm lactose intolerant, but-" Setsuna blinked. "Am I? Ice cream sounds great!"
Pain and potential death is relative.
But aliens weren't.
"Absolutely!" Setsuna nodded seriously. "Aliens are just waiting for the chance when we look away! They've invaded Nasa already- how do you think we got the atomic bomb? Einstein was an alien!"
He clapped his hands together. "They want us to destroy each other and only then will they destroy us!"
Kubo Atsushi
Kubo was on someone's bed, and his head hurt. Was he gripping his head because it hurt, or was he hurting himself? Why was the world spinning? Where was Kaoru-
A knock came from the door.
He went utterly still.
A nice knock, that. The kind that came from shy people- but those determined to get inside. A strong fascade behind weakening fingers.
Before he could decide on anything, his mouth moved on its own, "Come in."
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 18:24 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
The snow gently falls on and on,
I walk into the garden and I find you,
Suddenly I don't feel quite so blue
The light isn't quite too bright,
But my heart pounds so fast,
And I smile a bit,
Is it real? Are you real?
I'm a little scared of you
But I'd be a liar
If I said I wasn't more afraid
Of a world without you"
How scary could it be? He'd been through far worse.
Lucian slowly opened the door.
"H-Hey… Kubo. I- It's me, I thought- I– we- I thought I should check up on you after-"
He stopped mid-sentence. His eyes widened. He rushed over before he could stop himself.
"K-KUBO! What happened to your face? Are- are you okay? Oh my gosh, I should get you some first aid! Does it hurt?"
What was with that bruise? Was he okay?
Had he been hurting himself?
All potential bitterness about what he had said was swept under the rug. Buried. His only worry was Kubo's injury.
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 18:27 (1 Year ago)
Kubo Atsushi
Kubo blinked, his hands slowly coming down from his face. His face still hurt. So... was he right or not?
"Lucian?" he muttered. His brow furrowed. "What are you... doing here?"
His head was spinning. Something like nausea was creeping up in his gut.
Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 19:48 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Poor Kubo... He seemed so out of it.
"...after what you said, I thought you might not be feeling the greatest..."
...
"...are you okay?" he asked nervously.
It was indescribable. How conflicted Lucian was feeling.
...
Why am I even here? He... Hates me, doesn't he?