Forum Thread

Alright, so, I'm not going to delve too deep into characters at this point because there are A LOT but I will try to get the basics of this story down.

The world isn't post apocalyptic, really. There's a big war going on north of the main country (main country = Centreal, war country = Rhetoria) and there are a lot of people fleeing it.

Centreans gotta big problem with immigrants

The cities in Centreal are organized into massive circles, and divided into five sections. 4 are residential, and the fifth- which is the center- is where all the shops and schools and everything that isn't lived-in goes.

There are no cars, people travel using The T (Subway, for longer distances) and a thing called The Belt (Which is like those long flat escalators you see in high-touristy areas and airports.) The Belt runs in front of houses like a street would, and is constantly moving.

Everyone in the beginning lives in Nazareth, and the Magical Boy team is about to start their freshman year at Nazareth Highschool C (Which is the lowest academic ranking of the 4 high schools in the city. Real good soccer team though.)

All's going well, until they wake up and find that there's this weird choker on their necks.

What the hell?

But they can't take it off, some freak out and others say "Whatev" and they head off to school.

Come to find out...

THEY'RE MAGICAL BOYS
Because that's not a little fruity

This story takes place on Earth- but with different continents. I just took Pangea and cut out some places. There's basically part of America, Russia, Mexico and then a little island I just made up.

Centreal - This place is the main setting. It's basically in control of EVERYTHING. It has 5 cities, all of which are walled (think like AoT kind of, but not that strict) because the government says the environment is too harsh for humans to be living so far apart. The capital, Nazareth, is where all of the main characters live.

Rhetoria - This country is north of Centreal and it's really snowy and recently became completely thrown into a massive civil war. Most Centreans HATE Rhetorians- as the Rhetorians are fleeing the war and coming to their country. There are a lot of laws against Rhetorians and everything it's really bleh.

OTHER TWO COMING LATER, THE ABOVE ARE MOST IMPORTANT

Randall Lincoln - This guy's an idiot. He speaks in the vernacular- and has a British/hick accent. he'll be easy to understand. He's not very smart, two grades behind his twin brother, and doesn't have much confidence in his brain. He's got a good heart though, and is best friends with Juan. He plays football (American kind)

Juan Ramirez - He's a really cute, overall nice guy. He's best friends with Randy and super awesome at soccer. Average student. He wants to grow up and join the Centreal Military and cool the war in Rhetoria so everyone can start getting along.

Viktor Orlov - This guy is Rhetorian born and raised. He left the country when he was five. His parents and his aunt and uncle dropped him and his three cousins off in an immigration center and they were separated. Viktor now lives with his cousins Ace, Alley, and Axis- all whom have health issues. They're given a certain amount of money from the government to buy necessities but it often isn't enough. Their house has a couch, and that's it. They each have one pair of clothes. Most of their money goes towards the medication. Viktor plans on returning to Rhetoria as soon as possible to try and fix whatever's going wrong.

Jinx Arestelle - He considers himself Viancellean (which is a part of Rhetoria that is trying to become unified. It's not recognized by Centreal) but he was born and raised in Centreal. He has 11 brothers and sisters, and they're still coming. Because of that he can roam around a lot and isn't being sought out by his parents. He's very free with his favors, and hops around from lady to lady. He's very good friends with Viktor, and taught him (Viktor) and his cousins Centrean when they moved. He's a photographer for the school paper, and also good friends with a star soccer player, Dean Smith.

Arkady Valeriev - He's really quiet and very much a wallflower. He's half Rhetorian and doesn't have to wear the identifying flag-pin (Rhetorians have to wear their flag to let everyone know they're Rhetorian.) He has a younger sister whom he loves, but has trouble getting close too. He doesn't have any friends other than Traitor- whom he also love. As in loves. Traitor doesn't get it though. He can act like a child, especially when he's upset. But he's very loyal, and VERY territorial.

Princeton "Traitor" McNash - This guy's a piece of work. His father works for the government and he gets away with whatever he wants. He's been arrested a bunch of times for petty theft and destruction of property- as well as drug possession. But, daddy always bails him out. He's spoiled- unless he's around his mother. He's easily the most attractive person around that anyone in Nazareth's ever seen- which doesn't help his elated purpose. He's good friend with Johnny, as well as Arkady. He's a water-sport person (+Baseball) and he dreams of one day seeing the ocean. He's got two brothers. Hunter, who is adopted and older than Traitor. Then Malachite, who is a product of one of his father's affairs with another woman. Yes, Traitor's parents are still together.

WILL BE UPDATED SOON ^W^

Above by Sakana

Our world is running a never ending circle. We call it the Circle of Death. Every 25 years the world we know is close to being destroyed, but every time all the pain and sorrow disappears without a sign. Leaving the living only with the memories of their beloved who died during the last years of a circle. The humans, yes even animals and plants got used to this cruel way of living. They had no choice. Even hundred of years later this circle continues.
Why is no one able to stop it? Why does no one even know what causes it?
Many people stopped asking these questions a long time ago. The few who wanted to find the answers never made it out alive. Nowadays, everyone only wants to live a normal life, praying for the dead and that their families does not have to experience the same sorrow.

But not everyone thinks the same way:
A young man terrorized by his dreams and childhood is longing for answers. A female Archer who can't accept the fate that awaits her. And her brother who follows her everywhere.
The Moment these three met a new clock began ticking.


Is it possible for three inexperienced adventurer to find the answers they seek? Will they be able to stop the endless suffering? Or will they fail like countless men and women before them?

The Answer... lies behind an ocean of dishonest, betrayal and some fated meetings that will cost more than one might be willing to sacrifice.











The (hopefully) playable Characters:
Siva - a young man born half a year after the last circle of death ended. Unused to fighting but with the strong will to solve his families mystery.

Luana - a sassy young archer with a caring nature. Her goal is to end the circle before even more life is wasted on it. Her role in this game... maybe important, maybe a waste of time? She doesn't even know it herself.

Asher - Luanas older Brother. He does everything to save his sister but also keeps a secret that would change not only her point of view.

Malucia - The evil source of the Circle of Death. Her goal? Her reason for everything? Well... this is something you need to find out yourself.




And some more information:
(information related to playing all 4 characters can NOT be promised! I do not know if i'm able to code it with Ren'Py)

- if possible i will give the choice to play all 4 main character (listed above)

- this VN is heavily choice based. Make it into your adventure. Gender of the characters can NOT be changed.

- it will be possible to get an early death or to make decisions that will make it impossible for you to reach the end. Also known as: you can FAIL the game.

- excluding the FAIL endings you will be able to get at least 2 unique endings with each Character. (Good & Bad endings are the least possibility for each character. Neutral and endings related to sub storyline might be included for some characters).
So be prepared for over 20 endings! (including FAIL endings)

- a 2nd part of this game is already in development (the story at least) <- my brains fault. It was faster than me.

- unlock a bunch of Achievements for every character (for the endings as well as for some specific choices you can make)
Play the game 100% (unlock all Achievements) and unlock a special reward! Which will be at least one of these:
- exclusive information about the 2nd game such as the new characters & a special CG which you will ONLY get by completing the game.
- IF i get an animator for this project i will also include an exclusive cutscenes related to the 2nd game.

Mankind has lost control of the world. War erupts, nuclear catastrophes and world annihilation. In order to save the world a scientist hits the reset button, he put all the remaining humans in a deep sleep and lets the world fix itself and recover. Many thousands of years in the future tha last of mankind wakes up to a world of green and strange energy type magic and creatures beyond there understanding. Creatures who call themselves Kacure. Creatures who were humanoid and a beautiful mix of human and animal. They all had strange abilities powered by magical stones that where their ‘souls’. The humans take advantage of the naïve kind loving kacure raise and soon enslave them. This is the story of the Kakure and their fight for freedom.

Far too much information but I will give you the ‘outline’ of the back ground information lol:

Kacure :

Types:

Night - (Dark) - Rare

Day - (Light) - Rare

Fire – lava - Common

Air - Tranquil and Storm - Common

Water - Ice and Salt and Fresh - Common

Earth - Sub and Deep - Common

Fauna (anicure) - Uncommon

Flora (Plant) - Uncommon

Starfire – Exotic/rare/almost extinct

… I am stopping there, but I have religion, community, family structure, government, everything….

Omur - Father
Ossu - Mother
Urru - Uncle
Uszu - Aunt
Utyo - Sibling
Umok - Grandma
Umar - Grandpa
Nashu - Quickly
Until the next time I see you - Hwuen I’huthin draeval Usstan kyorl dos
Until we meet again - Hwuen udos thalra ‘sohna
Meat - Vlees
Kaliizi - Truth
Beloved - ‘chev
New star - Elemiire
I love you - Al'tek thar
Cute - Yinvess
Yes - Siyo
No - Nau
Reok - Mayor
Sort of - s’enar
Indeed - d’s’enar
Quiet - Suust
Hello - Phestu (Ves - tu)
Salutations - Salsis
More - Mzild
Sweet - tal
Protector - toth
Pretty - Sokoya
Song - Linath
Dead - Elghinyrr
Death - Aphyon
Stupid - Waele
Taste - Tyav
Hooks - R’glin
Heartmate - Rhyl Kre
Soulmate - Sutok Kre
Excuse Me - Unsaa
Beg Pardon - Ann dosst
Pardon - Dosst
Symbol of Life Achievements - Talbashz

True as stone: “Fact. the truth is...”
Wind swift “Go swiftly. God speed.” (Night kacure use an alternative phrase of shadow swift)
Rain to my desert. “love of my life.”
flower from the stone. “Rescued from dire straits.” or flower within the stone. “Captive.”
Clear as water “Clearly spoken, stated etc”
Lop silly. “Being ridiculous or politely saying one is stupid.”

They do not use the following letters for their language: J, B, Q, P (only PH)

Character's name: Asheviire
Gender: Male
Race: Water Kacure
Soulname: Tori
Known by: Ashe, The Stinging Star, Glow Drop
Life/Love-mate (Specify which): None
Cub(s): None
Tribe: None
Tribal Position: Fisher and Tanner

Appearance
Height: 5’ 10”
Age: Ancient
Hair: knee length, braided deep brown and black
Eyes: Brown with glowing electric blue specks
Skin Tone: Light tan with electric blue freckling and spots that glow.
Body Build: Lithe and Thin
Marks/Scars/Outstanding Features: He has glow spots along his body and small spines that go down his spine inbetween black and blue scales. He has a long main spine that flips down in front of his face like an anglar fish and a long whip like tail with a barbed glow drop at the end.
Usually Seen Wearing: kelp wrapping
Weapon preference: His barb tail
Jewelry: none
Weapons: none
Special Possessions: none
Abilities: He has the ability to produce electricity through the barbed part of his tail
Skills: he is a good at tracking fish and tanning hides.

Magic: Electricity
Family: Twin Sister - SandStunner
Friends: nine
Personality: He is very shy which is why he adapted to the deep deep black waters of the ocean, he doesnt like going to the surface and fears it.
Likes: other elves, shiny things, fish, and hiding
Dislikes: being seen, land, fire
Skills:Tracking, Skinning
History:
Fears: Fire, Land

Full name: Linath
Occupation: Lop Trainer
Gender: Male
Species: Kacure - Fauna
Age: 54

HomeSeed: Zha Zha's by Adoption
Place in Unit: Offspring (Crea)
Size: 1 Adult, 1 Crea - Zha Zha (Ossu/Utyo)
Name:
Crest:
Eventual HomeSeed:


Hair color: Sky Blue with Green Streaks
Hair length: Chin Length
Hairstyle: Kept in a side Mohawk

Eye color: Blue Green Mixed

Skin complexion: Light Tan

Physical build: He is thin and a good height, he has a descent muscle mass because of labor work with the lops.
Horns: none
Wings: Small white and puffy (not yet birthed)
Ears: First Set- White Fluffy Bunny ears that fold in half. Second Set- Small fox ears sky blue he keeps hidden under the bunny ones, his right ear is split due to being cut out of his Ossu's womb.
Tails: a small white puffy bunny tail
Other:

Height: 5’ 3”
Weight: ~105lbs

Tattoos/Piercings/Scars: He has small foot print tattoos that circle down his shoulder and arm of different animal prints.
Dominate hand: Right

Element: None

Quiri-Rhyl AKA Aura Heart (Orbs): Jade (Fauna).

Special abilities: Animal Speak, Animal Empathy

Skills: Riding, Tracking, Handle Animal, Animal Classification.

Ancestral Magic: Shield, Animal Detection

Learned Magic: Tracking Spell, Anima Force, Call Animal.

Weakness: Allergic to Gold

Personality: Linath is a care free trusting individual who is kind to anyone and everyone. He is flirtatious and loves to explore and experience things. He is protective of his family which includes the animals that he trains.

History/life: N/A

Name: Kashi
Nickname or Alias:

Race: Human - Modified
Organization/Kingdom: None
Occupation/Profession: Mercenary Berserker

Age: 22
Age appears to be: 22

Hair:
Color: chocolate brown w/ red streaks
Style : kept long and twist braided

Eyes: hazel

Height: 6'3"

Weight: N/A

Physical Build: Muscled and long limbed

Dominant Hand: none

Alignment: none

Equipment: N/A
Weapons: Broadsword

Armor: none
Clothing: tunic and pants

Special Abilities: Berserker Virus

Skills: Has the ability to activate a viral gene that gives him accelerated speed, strength, and healing.

Magic: none

Weakness: the virus kills them slowly pumping poisons into the blood stream in order to give them the enhancements. It builds up in the blood, when it builds up to much the heart seizes and the host of it dies.

Character Persona:
Special Features: He has the virus birthmark on his wrist and his virus lines have worked up 75% of his arm. He is battle torn with light tanned skin and long chocolate brown hair with red streaks.

Personality: He is loyal and fiercely protective of those he deems worthy. Because of the virus he has a short temper and can at times snap when you least expect. He is very melancholy and withdrawn knowing his fate is to die at a young age.

Name: Shantaki
Nickname or Alias:

Race: human - Modified
Organization/Kingdom:
Occupation/Profession: Mercernary - Berkerser

Age: 27
Age appears to be: 27

Hair:
Color: light brown
Style : short touches the nape of his neck

Eyes: Hazel
Height: 6'5"
Weight:
Physical Build: Muscled and long limbed

Dominant Hand: right

Alignment: none

Equipment:
Weapons: dual broadswords
Armor: leather armor
Clothing:

Special Abilities: Berserker Gene

Skills: Has the ability to activate a viral gene that gives him accelerated speed, strength, and healing.

Magic:

Weakness: the virus kills them slowly pumping poisons into the blood stream in order to give them the enhancements. It builds up in the blood, when it builds up to much the heart seizes and the host of it dies.

Character Persona:
Special Features: Like his brother his viral mark is on his wrist but his viral strands has already reached partially across his chest. He is a mere year or so away from death if he berserks again.

Personality: he is calm minded but quick to temper. He generally comes off as cold and hard to get along with.

Starfire Kacure Male


Asheviire – Deep Water Kacure


Fauna Kacure


Starfire Kacure Female

- New character:
Full name: ZesKah Venarhxii
Occupation: Crea of Ambassador
Gender: Hermaphrodite
Species: Kacure - Night
Age: 54

HomeSeed: Suranna (Ossu -Mom), Bodai Venarhxrii, Ambassador of Dark Trading (Omur -Father), Baii Partha Ra (Omur), Moonok (Omur)
Place in Unit: Offspring (Crea)
Size: 4 adult, 1 offspring
Name: Venarhxrii
Crest: Black Flames with blue wings and a silver crown
Eventual HomeSeed: Arndrelle ‘Zetta’ (Assassin), Densea, Spice, Nakuta (Snake Tail), Thul, Tanner, K'Pen


Hair color: Turquoise blue
Hair length: Floor Length
Hairstyle: Curly and kept Braided

Eye color: deep blue with black swirls and white spots (resembles Twilight)

Skin complexion: Milk Pale

Physical build: Thin and tall he is built for speed and quick maneuvering not for strength. He is flat chested with a thin waste and rounded hips.

Horns: none
Wings: Large his wingspan is roughly 16’ they reflect his eyes perfectly and made to look like the night at twilight; due to false love the back arch of the wings have scars that look like bright white lightening arching down them.
Ears: he has long blue fennec fox ears with tufts of blue curls at the tips.
Tails: Twin fox tails that drape to the ground.
Other:

Height: 5’ 4”
Weight: ~120lbs

Tattoos/Piercings/Scars: He has three piercings in each fox ear, they have silver hoops with bells that jingle. His other piercing is a small barbell on his tongue up underneath his tongue a small version of his crest attaches to the bottom of the barbell. It is not noticeable and as he does not talk the piercing nor crest impede his ability to talk. He has a long scar that goes across his throat and is unable to speak.

Dominate hand: Right

Element: None

Quiri-Rhyl AKA Aura Heart (Orbs): White Opal (Healing) , Black Opal (Shadows)

Special abilities: Shadow Manipulation, Healing, Shadow Walking/Flying.

Skills: Agile, Fast, Hand to Hand, Intelligent, Tactical thinking, Herbology, Poison Making, tracking, hunting, reading body language, Etiquette, Language, Politics and Social Manipulation.

Ancestral Magic: Shield, Shadow Phasing, Shadow Whip, NightTerror

Learned Magic: Dark Flames, Shadow Binding, Flicker Touch

Weakness: He is allergic to gold. Long periods from his Ossu causes weakness and can be deadly.

Personality: He is much like a two-sided coin he is sweet, loving, and gentle to those he cares for. He can play innocent for long periods and most of the time can be. However much like a person’s shadow he has a twisted and dark side, one that gives no mercy, no restraint, it is wild and uncaring to those who harm him or those he cares for. Much like his Omur he knows how to work a crowd and manipulate people to his own will without them even realizing. He is intelligent and quick on his feet able to adjust his plans and actions depending on how things go down. He is quick to adapt and does not take action without considerable thought.

History/life: N/A
[color]

First off, your drawings are awesome and I'm SUPER jealous of your realistic style- I wish I could see more of them! (;D?)

Obviously I don't know all of your plans for this- as I'm not you and not everything about the story is listed (which is NOT expected. Stories are very intricate and you don't want to spoil something really juicy. Just wanted you and everyone else to understand ;D)

But, I am really digging how animalistic your Kacure are looking- I've got a special place in my heart for fishie people and your Asheviire and others like him have some cool designs. It makes me want to draw them real bad. I'm not sure if it's anywhere in your story- or in the description and I happened to miss it- but maybe they could have some kind of need to be in water? Like, if they're dry for too long they start to shrivel up (or maybe dehydrate quickly.) Like I said, I don't know if this would even fit into your story, just offering things I've done with my fishie people ^^

And oh my god you've started creating a language. This really brings the story to life for me, along with detailed maps and backstories on countries and everything. I'm a total nerd for world-creation as well as character-creation. But, it can be hard to create a language because that involves designing grammar and sentence structure and before you know it you're teaching Klingon. Just leaving what you have now (maybe some extra words if they're needed, of course) would be fine and add a great extra detail to your story. (Does the language have a name?)

I like the nerf on your berserkers- so they're not super OP. With the virus that slowly eats at them- that's really good and angsty- especially if they're trying to save someone they love or something and ends up hurting themselves past the point of medicinal healing. (I'd like to know how they got their powers?)

I think it'd be cool to have a lame Kacure. By lame I mean like their parts don't work. Like, maybe a avian Kacure that can't fly, or an aquatic one that's gills have stopped working- so they can never travel deep underwater. I'm really interested in characters like that who end up being important, despite not fitting in exactly with the rest of their peers.

I'd also be interested in a world map- if it's different from Earth as it is now. I love maps ouo

I'd like to learn more about the social structures as well- like who's in charge of who directly. Are their kings or presidents? Stuff like that.

(Haha, maybe a human group that fights for Kacure rights?) (Maybe it could be something that the majority of the Kacure hate, because it belittles them?)

I'm getting a fantasy/adventure feel from this and I'm digging it!~