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Writers Club (Always Accepting Authors!)

Forum-Index Fan Clubs Writers Club (Always Accepting Authors!)
eunoia
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Posted: Sat, 05/08/2017 11:38 (6 Years ago)
Ahh, I love it, Error! It's interesting!
TheRedMist
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Posted: Sat, 05/08/2017 11:41 (6 Years ago)
thanks :3
i'm gonna continue it once i get back from martial arts, because that's basically just the prologue of the story.
And it'll take a good few weeks for it to be finished because its based off a challenge im doing on flight rising.
fluttershyfan2
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Posted: Sat, 05/08/2017 13:08 (6 Years ago)
@Innocent I really like it! I don't have much criticism, so, um... Yeah-

@Error Okay, the first one made me laugh, but the second one is really good! It reminded me of Warrior Cats, actually... (Mostly with the names and the whole "clans" thing-)

@Dragon Those are really good! They freaked ME out a little, even though I'm just a person reading it. ^^ (Also, thanks for the feedback on my story. And yes, the next chapter will do some more explaining on that. :3)
eunoia
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Posted: Sat, 05/08/2017 13:31 (6 Years ago)
Me: No one in the writing club is making me feel like an awful writer. Better email my writing friends.
Leigh: You didn't do the best job explaining Talli, go more into that.
Fiona: You can use more complicated words so you stop repeating stuff you've already said
Kat: Talli does not seem monsterous enough to be scared off just by a look. We also still have no idea what Willow looks like
*everyone continues to list things*
Me: Ah, much better.

Apparently my story is descriptive enough :')
TheRedMist
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Posted: Sat, 05/08/2017 15:02 (6 Years ago)
@Fluttershy
Thanks, and yea, i only just noticed how it seems somewhat warrior cats like, except there isn't really a naming 'rule'
most of those dragons were named when i was really into minecraft so they were kinda named after the ender dragon in suffix XD


Oh also guys!
here's an idea for a part later on in the story (so spoilers basically XD)
Show hidden content

The trio entered the coliseum, they wanted to provide for their clan just like BloodEnder! and after their parents had mysteriously disappeared, she was their true rolemodel.
A mith bruiser and a coral carpenter approached, targeting the young spiral first, though they didn't kill him, and when he was decently injured they attacked his older brother. Their sister came out unscathed.
Next a pair of coral carpenters came at them, and one critically hit Erendiria with a contuse, but Moonspirit came through and ended one of their lives with a strong critical attack of a scratch, sadly getting hit by the other one.
The following wave was just one coral carpenter, which the trio made an end of quickly.
Then they faced a single bumble which they killed, coming out unscathed from the battle. They wondered how long they'd have to be in here for.
"Teamwork" Erendiria said, smiling to her brothers. Moonspirit just nodded, and Glacier didn't respond until he said "Moth!" Gesturing ahead of them to their next opponent, a leafy moth.
The moth scratched the strong male guardian, but he acted like it was nothing, and got ready to face their next opponents.
2 Silky webwings. They attacked Glacier first, and were going to make an end of him until his older brother jumped in and took a few hits. "If one would be worthy to continue this legacy.. it's gonna be you, little bro" The guardian smiled, before dying.
After Moonspirit's death the 2 webwings started to attack Erendiria, but Glacier managed to help put an end to them.
The remaining duo were shaken after how Moonspirit sacrificed himself, especially Glacier.
But they continued until they faced a crimson emperor and a death's head stag. That crimson emperor put an end to Erendiria's life, and Glacier fled so he wouldn't face the same fate as his bigger and older siblings.
He must have passed out, because he woke up in the healer's part of the lair. He wasn't going to question it, at least he had his life.

that piece was what made me want to start it as a story, but im gonna change it quite alot so it fits more into the story once i get to that bit.
eunoia
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Posted: Sat, 05/08/2017 16:14 (6 Years ago)
@Error
I don't write stories out of order much, so I've never had to edit a part to fit it in, but it sounds good so far!
TheRedMist
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 19:38 (6 Years ago)
it wasn't intended to become a story tbh, i just started writing that and decided to make a story, and with a story i like to start from the, well, start XD
that and it explains why what is happening is happening i guess.


i should totally get myself to write more but idek why i haven't been
eunoia
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 19:43 (6 Years ago)
Jesus my writing block is slowly killing me
Everything I write is garbage ughh. This is very infuriating. I just came up with a good idea for a story and now I can't write *slams head against table*
TheRedMist
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 19:45 (6 Years ago)
i used to try and write (between this recent period and that.. weird.. ninja thing.. and no i didn't name keith, i got some other kid in school to name him cuz i can't name well) but i always had issues thinking of the start of stories because each time i wrote it i erased it and tried again and erased it because i didn't like it and i'd do that for hours with no results..
eunoia
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 19:49 (6 Years ago)
I can usually think of starts really well. It's dialogue that gets me sometimes. And trying not to be too descriptive and repetitive.
TheRedMist
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 19:50 (6 Years ago)
i just can't write the starts.
like if i can get a good flow i can write for a while, but if i can't think of a start i like i kinda start getting annoyed which is my cue to stop and take a break from trying.
but i'm not too good at being desciptive to be honest
eunoia
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 19:58 (6 Years ago)
The problem with me is, as long as I have a solid storyline, I know where I'm going, and I'm motivated, it's easy. But once I get interrupted its inctediably hard to get back into that zone. And my family doesn't understand that.
TheRedMist
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 20:02 (6 Years ago)
oh if i get distracted from something it takes me ages to even motivate myself to continue, let alone get back on track. which is why i leave alot of things i do unfinished.
Ufimtsev
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 20:06 (6 Years ago)
it's that problem that writers always seems to have. there's inspiration, motivation, and time, but you're only allowed two of them at once, pffft.

@ Error

and yeah, i'd agree with that. it's kind of like math? getting started is the worst thing ever, but once you've gotten into the rhythm of writing, it's easier from there. ;w; good luck, both of you!



TheRedMist
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Posted: Tue, 08/08/2017 20:18 (6 Years ago)
thanks : )

right now im thinking of writing something a bit different from like my dragon war challenge story thing.
something that kinda involves meh school, but im not sure yet. i'll probs write it tomorrow because y'know its getting late and stuff.
fluttershyfan2
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Posted: Wed, 09/08/2017 02:17 (6 Years ago)
So, I went to my new dentist office and they asked what I liked to do, I mentioned writing, and they said that if I write something they would like it if I brought it so they could read it, so I was writing a concept for a kids book (since it's a pediatric dentist office, and they don't have many books there. Also I want to be nice and make something because everyone there is so freaking nice) I could try to make (probably with cardboard and paper) and maybe give to them, and I have all the writing done, and wanted to know if the idea was good for a kids book concept.

Show hidden content
PAGE 1: This is Lily. She moved into a new town called Sakura!

PAGE 2: Lily is shy. Even though everyone wants to meet her, she is afraid to talk to them.

PAGE 3: Everyone in town wondered why Lily never talked to them.

PAGE 4: One day, Lily saw a letter in her mailbox!

PAGE 5: It didn’t have a name, but told her to go to big tree in the center of town.

PAGE 6: Lily decided to go to the tree.

PAGE 7: But when she got there..

PAGE 8: No one was there.

PAGE 9: “SURPRISE!!”

PAGE 10: “Wh-What’s all this..?” Lily asked, looking at everyone.

PAGE 11: “We thought we could give you a surprise party!” A yellow dog explained to her.

PAGE 12: Lily was confused. “But… Why? I don’t know any of you, anyways...”

PAGE 13: “You were really shy, so we thought a welcome party would help!” A polar bear explained.

PAGE 14: Lily smiled. “O-Oh..! Thank you!”

PAGE 15: Lily had lots of fun at the party, and made lots of new friends.

sleepynebby
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Posted: Wed, 09/08/2017 03:20 (6 Years ago)
Yo @ff2 that's a hecka cute idea! What kind of animal is Lily though? That was never clear uvu

Also I'm writing a Warrior Cats fanfic on here and the protags are hecka gay,,
Hmu if you wanna hear some ideas I had for it or I could post here??

There's nothing more beautiful than the rain.

Diary | Adoptables
Toyhouse | Deviantart | Flight Rising
fluttershyfan2
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Posted: Wed, 09/08/2017 03:25 (6 Years ago)
@James I was gonna have her be a person, actually (I've been playing a bit too much animal crossing new leaf recently oops, so it's person in an animal filled town-), which would be shown via drawings. Also, I'd love to hear your ideas! And I'd say if you want to post your ideas here, go for it since this is a writing club and all. :3
sleepynebby
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Posted: Wed, 09/08/2017 03:38 (6 Years ago)
Alrighty! Thanks for the info! Ideas are in the spoiler cause I'm lame.

Show hidden content
-I planned on having the protagonists raise kits who were left without mothers but it's too early on to decide.
-Originally, the protagonists wouldn't realize their feelings for each other and we're going to take actual mates.
-The protagonists were going to be in ShadowClan. I changed it to RiverClan cause the Horseplace where Taka was from would be closer.
-Boulderstripe may become leader but I haven't decided.
-Chi being a she-cat and not a tom was an idea uvu


There's nothing more beautiful than the rain.

Diary | Adoptables
Toyhouse | Deviantart | Flight Rising
fragile
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Posted: Wed, 09/08/2017 05:27 (6 Years ago)
hello welcome to my first non-form post here
please don't read this I regret everything
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TW: Stalkers?? Death??
dead story I just made up // p messed up
You can rate, but this was just my tired bored midnight writing
Forever Mine
Jake stared through the window at the young sleeping boy. The boy was curled on his side, his curly red hair spread around his head on the pillow like a halo. Jake felt his lips twist into an almost demented smile. Right now, with the window unlocked, he could take him
take him
and he could steal him away from this cruel work. The boy would be
his.
But, he would have to wait. There's no way he had the items for the kidnapping just yet. So he settled for sitting and watching. He smiled fondly, disgustingly so, at the pure boy, watching as he rolled over and let out a whine. His ears perked at the noise. The boy in bed shifted as though stirring, and Jake gasped, looking at the sky. He hadn't noticed the sunrise. He needed to get out before the boy came out for his morning tea.

Jake jumped from the balcony into the bushes, and scampered off. He was glad he was a neighbor, and that his home was so close, so he could stay longer. He climbed up the rope hanging from his own second story window, entering and rolling up the rope. He slid it under his bed, huffing. He straightened, and decided to change out of his black outfit. He quickly changed into a blue bro tank and beige cargo shorts. He slid on some blue Nikes, folding up his black clothes and putting them under the bed next to the rope. He brushed his teeth and hair, and headed downstairs. Time for school.

---

Jake groaned, waking up from falling asleep in the middle of grammar. The girl who sat next to him, Amanda, had poked his arm. He blinked groggily at her, before realizing everyone was leaving. He huffed and began to pack up his books and folder. He rubbed his eye before slinging his bookbag into his shoulder.

Of course sleeping in class was bad. But he wouldn't... he couldn't give up his nightly hobby. He would never, not even if it meant his death. He smiled, and went to his locker to change out his books. He noticed a little red head by his locker, wearing a pink skirt and with blouse. He smiled.

"Good morning, Oliver." He said kindly. Oliver looked up at him with a jump, before relaxing and giving a smile that melted Jake's heart. Oliver nodded softly.

"Good morning, Jake." He replied. They stood in comfortable silence before Oliver walked away with his necessary books. Jake watched him go. Huh. Maybe the silence only gave him comfort. Still, his eyes wandered lower on Oliver's back, face flushing by the time the little boy turned the corner. He turned back to his locker, snatching his books and closing the door, hurrying to class with a red face.

---

Gym. A good class, Jake admitted. Today all the were doing was rock climbing. Jake watched the others until he was attracted to a side conversation. He knew the voices, so there was no need to turn around.

"Hey, hot stuff." The football team's quarterback, Gregg Tenerfold. He had a smooth, deep voice. Jake had to say, he was hot.

"Oh! Hello, Gregg!" A timid, small voice came. The school's sweetheart book nerd, Oliver Hymun. Jake tensed.

"Hey, you wanna meet me after school at maybe 5:30? I wanna have a more private conversation with you." Gregg purred, and Jake gritted his teeth. He was talking to Jake's beloved boy.

"Oh? Sure, Gregg." Oliver said, and Jake could hear the smile in his voice. It was painful. He tried so hard not to interrupt.

"See you at the alleyway behind school, sweet cheeks." Gregg said, walking off. Jake snapped. He hadn't felt like this. This bubbling rage where he just wanted to kill. Primal rage, one would say. But it was more. This was Jake's love that Gregg had the audacity to try to play with. This wouldn't be pretty.

---

Jake came to the back alleyway at 4:45, ready to fight. He hid, rope in hand. He stood there, hidden next to the furnace, for about five minutes. Then he saw it. Gregg approaching. He smiled. Show time. After Gregg had stood for a moment and checked his phone, he padded to him. Gregg looked up.

"Oh? Uhm, hey dud-" he was cut of by Jake crashing into him, knocking them both down and making Gregg lose his breath. "What? What th-" Jaje again cut off the jock, tying the rope around his neck. He pulled, watching the jock struggle with the arms pinned under Jake's knees.

Jake watched the shade of Gregg's face get darker and darker. He smiled sadistically. He was crushing
Crushing crushing crushingcrushingcrushingcrushing
this fool with his utter strength and it felt great. No longer would anyone steal Oliver from him. He didn't stop when Gregg went limp, when blood dripped from his lip to the concrete. He didn't stop when his hands ached from rope burn. He didn't stop when Gregg's body stopped spazzing. He stopped at random, letting out a low chuckle. He stood, shaking with held in laughter. He turned, open img the furnace and watching the flames for a moment.

He spun back around and picked up Gregg's body, tossing it into the furnace. He closed the doors, nose wrinkling at the smell of burning flesh. He stood for a moment, ears perking at the mesmerizing sound of a voice. He turned to see the little red head. "Huh? Oh, hi Jake. Do you know where Gregg is?" The young boy asked, staring up at Jake.

"Dead." Silence. "I killed him for you." He said monotonous, though there was a ridiculous smirk on his lips.

"C-come on, Jakey. Stop joking aro-" He was cut off by Jake shouting.

"I'm not joking!" He looked up to see a horrified Oliver. He edged closer, Oliver still frozen. He placed his hands on Oliver's. "I didn't it for you. Everything for you. That idiot doesn't deserve you." He leaned down, kissing Oliver. Oliver placed his hands flat on Jake's chest, not kissing back. Jake pulled away with a smile. "Now, let's go." Oliver stared at him, terrified.

"What? No!" Oliver cried. Jake tsked, shaking his head. He picked up the small boy, unaffected but his kicks and punches. But his wails hurt him. The cries and sobbing of the boy shook him. But he shook his head. Oliver loved him. He opened the car door, putting Oliver in. Oliver struggled until Jake used the same rope he used to kill Gregg to tie Oliver's hands together. He pulled out extra rope, tying his feet. Oliver struggled, even kicking Jake's face once. Jake slammed the door, walking around and getting in the driver's seat.

"I'm so glad no one is around her near 5:30. Everyone's at the soccer game." He hummed, buckling in. He leaned over, buckling in the sobbing boy.

---

After a short car ride, Jake pulled into his garage. He closed the garage door, turned off the cat, and got out. He went around to help Oliver out, and picked him up. He carried him inside, smiling. No parents, no roommate, no problem. He carried Oliver up to his room, laying him on the bed. He laid next to him, taking the shivering boy in his embrace.

"God, I love you, Oliver. Do you know how often I watch you sleep? So beautiful. If do anything for you, you know? Well, except for let you go. But don't worry. You'll be safe here. I'll protect you, and we'll fall in love. You'll be with me here....
Forever Mine."

i am filled with so much regret