Sometimes in writer's head of need help writing an essay apper some strange thoughts.
Was today my parent's anniversary or is it tomorrow? I don't remember. I do remember (as I do almost every single day) that I am an orphan now. An orphan at 58. An adult orphan. My parents, who had the same sort of relationship with each other that I and my ex-husband, with whom I'm living, have, died in 2010 and 2013. My mother, a raging alcoholic for most of my childhood, was a narcissistic bitch who loved me the best she could, which wasn't very well. That's okay. I like to hope that she made me a better mother by giving me the best example of how not to be a mother. I'll never know for sure if her example served me as I have only sons, and I believe the truest test would have been to have had a daughter. Mothers and daughters. You know the story. I know that all three of my daughters-in-law find me to be a bad mother-in-law; two of them more so than the third. I raised sons who love me and gave them to women who don't seem to appreciate that the way their husbands relate to them has everything to do with me and very little to do with their father, who is, mostly, an ass.
I had 5 brothers and was the only girl in my family. My father's twin brother had 4 sons and a daughter. Girls are rare in my family. My female cousin had a daughter. Only two of my brothers had daughters.