Forum Thread

Where to begin… It has been so long since I’ve written a forum post.

Hello, everyone. You may know me as Ren, Cipher-, -Seishin-, whatever. After three years of chaos, it is safe to say that I have returned for good.

So, what exactly happened?

01. 2020-2021 As many of my older Pokeheroes friends may know, my mental health was (admittedly) garbage. It probably was not amazing for my 13 year old self to be back and forth in relationships. I was foolish, and also very confused on things with my identity. I “needed” someone to distract me from my own mental health.


During this time, I was also struggling to get the help I needed due to the people in my life not recognizing that I genuinely needed help. My dad eventually had to step in, completely unaware, and set me up for therapy.

Push comes to shove, and I am in and out of the mental hospital. The last time I went, I admitted to what was going on that my dad wasn’t aware of.

This would cause me to have to move, out of the depths of my father’s heart.

02. Late 2021-2022 I had moved to my mother’s, which I (at first) hated. I never knew my mom very well as her and my dad got divorced when I was fairly young. It was very odd, and a struggle to get used to her energy and availability. Around this time, she also recognized that the issues of my mental health were located mostly on my phone. So, she did the right thing and limited my ability to use it.

Funnily enough, I got diagnosed some crazy things. And I finally (FINALLY) cut the people that hurt me out of my life.

03. 2022-2023 It was easy to say I was recovering. I had a therapist, I was in school, and I was happy. Then again, I got myself into trouble with a really bad person, but I naturally cut them off.

04. 2024-Now Here we are now. 2025. I have been on an incredible journey, learning about myself and how I work. I have learned so many lessons that I may have been too young to understand or know of. But wow, I have grown.

To those of you who have been with me since day one, thank you for putting up with me. I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart, for the messes I got myself and others into. While it’s not anything now, it was insane for me in the end.

Thank you all. I am glad to return, and I wait for new opportunities as I turn 18 this year.
You may ask me questions. I will answer honestly.
With love, Julian.

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