Forum Thread

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Final Word Count: 1,770

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A Perfectly Normal Shopping Trip

“Okay, here’s the shopping list. We’re going to follow this, strictly, nothing added or taken away, and yeaaahhh, you’re not listening.”

Cotton and Gardenia looked around, their faces like children at Christmas Day. Majoree tapped the basket nervously. “We just need eggs, milk, and cereal. Come on guys, Mom trusted us.”

“You mean she trusted you.” Flax patted Majoree on the shoulder. Majoree twisted away, shooting her a glare. “We swore no oaths. We could empty the entire candy aisle, and she can’t say nothing.”

“Breaking rules, however unspoken, is something that mom trusts us not to do,” Majoree pointed out. “I don’t care about Cotton’s sugar addiction. Halloween was literally Monday. How can you need new candy now?”

“Easy,” Flax muttered. “Cotton.” She glared at the offending party.

“She’s right, though,” Chia pointed out. “We’re only here for three things. If we come back with a cart full of Sour Patch Kids and chocolate, mom will murder us.” Her nose wrinkled in worry. “Even discount chocolate.” She looked meaningfully at Cotton.

“What? I didn’t say anything!” Cotton protested. All of the sisters glared at him. “Fineeee. We can go get your boring stuff. I won’t put anything with sugar in the basket.”

“Good.” Flax tossed her head back. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“You can count on me.” He smiled.

—

We’ve reached the dairy aisle. Two thirds through, if we can get past the ice cream.

“But it’s a buy one get one free sale!” Cotton wailed. Gardenia and Flax had him by both arms, dragging him back. Chia blocked the freezer with her body, shielding the ice cream. “You can’t do this to me! My ice creaaammmm-”

“No ice cream!” Flax snarled.

“But imagine it! All soft and creamy! In the basement in the dead of night, spooning it out, angsting over life’s great mysteries! Delicious syrup at the bottom to spoon up, closing your eyes against the onslought of sweet, sweet cool cream on your tongue-”

“That does sound good,” Flax admitted. Her grip began to go slack. Cotton renewed his struggles. Gardenia clung to him as he took each heavy step forward towards Chia’s increasingly terrified face.

“Look!” Majoree began to panic. “I have- a quarter. We can stop at the vending machines on the way out. Those weird chewy fruit things are in there. Just- calm down.”

Cotton finally paused. Gardenia released him, laid on the ground, and gasped for air.

“Deal!” he chirped.

Chia breathed out a relieved sigh. “Felt that,” Majoree muttered. Then raised her voice. “We need milk and eggs. Could you grab them, Cotton?”

She saw him go for the milk aisle. “And nothing with syrup in it,” she added.

Cotton returned, a thankfully white milk jug raised to his face. He appeared to be reading the ingredients.

“What are you doing?” Flax looked amused.

“There’s sugar in this,” he announced.

“There’s sugar in milk?!” Chia demanded. “What kind of scam is this? Who’s sneaking sugar into our cow juice?” She paused. “That sounds wrong-”

“Of course there’s sugar in milk,” Majoree scoffed, though it was a bit of a surprise to her too. “It’s an animal product. And it’s supposed to support children. Children need carbs.” She tossed her hair back.

“In accordance to my oath,” Cotton said, “I may not put anything with sugar in the basket.”

Majoree and Chia stared at each other. Flax coughed. Gardenia wheezed, dying on the floor.

“But- it’s what mom asked for.”

“Scoff! Gasp! I am a man of my word! I would never go back on it-”

“I have two quarters,” Majoree sighed.

“...But I would be willing to change it! Natural sugars could be a natural exception..”

“Give that here,” Flax grumbled. She seized the jug and dropped it in Majoree’s basket.

—

They had arrived at the eggs section. Cotton retrieved the eggs without question, though he had to rudely announce that there was, in fact, no sugar in the eggs and he would not have to compromise his morality.

Unfortunately, the final hurdle lay in the two metres of distance between the dairy aisle and the baking aisle.

“They have pastries!” he wailed.

“And cheese buns!” Flax added, lifting up a bag.

“Think of the sweet sugar, the way the baked goodness cedes under your teeth! The filling like clouds on your tongue, dancing and singing a song of the strudel goddesses-”

“We’re so close,” Majoree begged. “We just need cereal!”

Flax and Cotton exchanged grim looks. Gardenia slowly dragged herself to Majoree’s feet, and lay there, gasping.

“Just- one last aisle. Then we get to leave and go to the vending machines.”

“For the vending machines,” Chia mumbled. “Honestly, at this point, I hope you have more quarters, Majoree, because I’m starting to crave sugar too.”

“I hate Halloween,” Majoree grumbled, forking over her quarters as the siblings cheered.

—

Thankfully, they managed to drag Cotton away from the Jello without issue. At last, they had arrived at the cereal.

“This contains artificial sugar,” Cotton declared. “It goes against my oath!”

“Screw your oath!” Flax hissed. She slammed a box Reeces’ Puffs down in the basket. “You need this as much as I do!”

“Wait, mom never specified which cereal we wanted.” Ignoring the groans of agony around her, Majoree pulled out her phone and started typing. She finished the text and slipped it into her pocket.

“CALL ME MAYBEEEEE,” her pants immediately screamed. Paling rapidly, Majoree scrambled for her phone. “IT’S HARD TO LOOK RIGHTTTT, AT YOU BABBBBYYYY-”

With a few taps, her phone was set to mute. She glared at them all, daring them to say anything.

Cotton snickered.

“Shut up,” Majoree hissed. “I can like whatever music I want.”

“I would not want to be you right now,” Flax said.

“Look, it’s a text from Mom,” Majoree said desperately. She thrust her phone at them. Flax, Cotton, and Chia peered at it. Gardenia had caught up to them once again, and clung to Chia’s ankles.

“‘Get whatever you want,’” Flax read aloud. “Well, if that isn’t permission, I don’t know what is.”

Majoree sighed. “Oh boy.”

—

“MAJOREE, JELLO! CHIA, PASTRIES AND CHEESE BUNS! COTTON, YOU AND GARDENIA ARE ON ICE CREAM DUTY! I’M GOING FOR THE ENTRANCE HALLOWEEN CANDY!”

“Flax, we both know that she didn’t mean it that way,” Majoree protested weakly.

“Oh, I’m sure. Just as Raiyhan knows that you like his ripped jeans and skin was showing-”

“Raiyhan? How do you know Raiyhan?” Majoree’s face went red.. “And don’t finish that line! That’s not the reason I like the song-”

“All the boys try to chhaaaaaaaa-”

“Fine! Halloween candy!”

Cotton whooped. “FRICK YEAH!”

—

“It’s snowing outside! What are you going to do with all this ice cream?”

“Cotton gave the orders,” Gardenia mumbled. “I just attacked from below and got as much as possible.”

Majoree sighed. “We’re never going to be allowed to go shopping again.”

—

They arrived at the checkout with a grand total of too much. Majoree carried five baskets, and ten bags of cheese buns on her head. The whole supermarket seemed to be staring at them.

“Can I at least have my quarters back?” Majoree asked. Everyone ignored her.

Everything was rung through. Majoree shuddered at the total and took out her mom’s card.

It was rejected.

Paling rapidly, Majoree swiped twice.

It was rejected twice. Majoree sweated. All five siblings looked at one another.

“We need to prioritize,” Chia decided.

“Exactly.” Cotton nodded. “Take the milk back.”

“No! Take the cheese buns back!” Majoree began to panic.

Flax seized her by the shoulders. “No one,” she hissed in her face. “Is taking away my cheese buns.” She stared into Majoree’s eyes, pure darkness in her own. She smiled murderously. “Understood?”

“Understood,” Majoree mourned.

“Okay, the milk,” said the hapless clerk. She put it off to the side and typed a bit. She mumbled something about 'the money not being worth this'.

Majoree tried to pay. Still rejected.

“The eggs?” The eggs were removed.

The clerk began to sweat. The people behind the Sinclairs were grumbling.

Majoree swiped.

It wasn’t working.

“We need to put this stuff back, guys,” Majoree begged. “Look, I get you want your sweets, but we could buy a car with all the money this would cost. We can-”

“Robbery,” Cotton decided.

The store clerk decided to turn in her resignation.

—

“I guess we’re not seeing the vending machines any time soon!” Majoree yelled. “I don’t suppose I can get my quarters back?”

The two screeched to a stop. The fire escape was in front of them! .

“It won’t open!” Cotton cried, tugging at it.

“There must need to be a fire!” Flax decided.

“Wait, that would be a serious safety hazard if it were the case-”

Flax withdrew her lighter. Majoree paled. “Wait, wait, no! Chia, talk sense into her-” She looked back, but Chia had stayed with Gardenia. The two had been captured.

“The flames have them now!” Flax yelled. She yeeted the lighter at the wall. It bounced off, and landed in a puddle of water.

Flax frowned. “Okay that didn’t-”

“WHO LEFT A PUDDLE OF GASOLINE IN A SUPERMARKET?” Majoree screamed. The entire bread aisle lit up in flames. “EVERYONE IN THE FIRE ESCAPE!”

“It still won’t open!” Cotton cried.

“IT SAYS TO PUSH THE BAR!” Majoree yelled. “WHY ARE YOU STUPID!”

“Oh, right.”

They escaped onto the fire escape.

—

At home, Ms. Sinclair was sipping tea and enjoying her favourite TV show, Wheel of Fortune. “What granduous fools,” she murmured. “I could take the crown if I so tried. Alas, the world is not ready for me.”

She checked her watch. The children weren’t back yet. Maybe they had succumbed to the snow?

It was nice aesthetic, a cozy Saturday on a winter day, but the children were probably dying if they were outside. Maybe she should give them another call.

She changed channels. The air required a more serious atmosphere if her children were dead.

Her eyebrows raised. “A supermarket burned down? It’s suspected to be the result of children? How strange, I-”

“Two of the perpetrators were caught. So far, they have only spoken two phrases. ‘Cars’ and ‘overpriced cheese buns’. It is undetermined what kind of brainwashing two sweet children have undergone to commit such heinous crimes.”

“Oh boy,” she muttered.

Her phone rang.

She picked it up.

“Mom… um asking for a friend- how do you invade restricted government areas and get off the Most Wanted list?”

She hit ‘end call’ and returned to Wheel of Fortune.

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