Forum Thread

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High Stakes

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Toshiko is a student at the Vampire Academy who has never taken down a single vampire. Until one day, she gets the memo that she has to defeat five, or be banished from the academy (and her victims!) forever.

Cue pure crack and ridiculous hijinks as Toshiko attempts to assassinate the largest vampire family in Japan and ends up falling in love along the way.

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The Headmaster sighed, rubbing his forehead. "Please refrain from insulting your schoolmates. Your teachers find your blatant disrespect for their lives disturbing. And yes," he added, "we're aware of the Berlin incidents."

Toshiko fell back in her chair, blowing her bangs out of her face. "Frick," she muttered. "I thought I got away with that. I even used a fake identity."

"The amount of casualty reports spoke for themselves. Regardless of your impressive talents in chaos and destruction, I will have to expel you."

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Cue screaming. And gay. Yes, a lot of gay.

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[Updates Every Two Weeks on Thursdays. Next Update: Undetermined. On Hiatus..]

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PART ONE

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tw// sussy dialogue, chaos, Chizu abuse, post-breakup

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Toshiko was the worst vampire hunter in her generation. So far, she had killed approximately -20 vampires.

Make that -23, Chizu grumbled. You scared off four at the last nest. Do you go out of your way to ruin our hunts? She narrowed her eyes at the brilliant author.

Shuttup. This is Toshiko’s dramatic intro to her story. Comments from competent losers are not welcome, particularly not ones with the name Chizu.

'Competent’ losers? Am I supposed to be offended by that?

Disregarding the foolish and unnecessary commentary, Toshiko had had the most interesting experience as a result of her incompetency. She had “gotten the girl”. Although instead of a girl, it was a chaotic murderous vampire who had a habit of being way too hot for her own good.

A vampire?! Toshiko, what happened?

It had started the day Toshiko had received her very last assignment.

The Headmaster of the Vampire Hunter Academy eyed her. His wrinkled face reminded Toshiko of an evil warthog. In his fossilized warthog hands he held a stack of papers. Not overdramatic whatsoever.

“Toshiko,” he said. “You have been the result of 33 incidents in which vampires have either been lost, or amassed higher than usual casualty reports. You have been at this academy for two years and have never taken down a single vampire.”

“It’s 35, actually, if you count what I did last summer!” she added cheerfully.

His eyebrow visibly twitched. “I have heard of the Campground Incidents, but rest assured-”

“Ehhh? The Campground Incidents? Naw. No casualities there. I meant what happened at the Sea Monkey Factory.” Toshiko watched, befuddled, as he scribbled something down. “What?”

“Hmph. I will look into that later. For now-” He clasped his hands together and leaned across the table. “-we must discuss the rules of the institute. Frankly, we cannot keep paying your fines for you. You have overextended your student budget. You’d need to hook in at least twenty vampires to pay for what you have cost.”

“Twenty?!” Toshiko’s brain aborted. “Even Chizu hasn’t gotten that many! And she’s a nerd!”

The Headmaster sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Please refrain from insulting your schoolmates. Your teachers find your blatant disrespect for their lives disturbing. And yes,” he added, “we’re aware of the Berlin incidents.”

Toshiko fell back in her chair, blowing her bangs out of her face. “Frick," she muttered. “I thought I got away with that. I even used a fake identity.”

“The amount of casualty reports spoke for themselves. Regardless of your impressive talents in chaos and destruction, I will have to expel you.”

“Eh?! Expel me? But- this is my only output for my dysfunctionality!”

“Big words,” he drawled. He kept looking at the clock. “But, unfortunately, they’re not as big as the deaths, crippling injuries, and various felonies that have been a result of your staying at this academy.”

Toshiko felt herself start to panic. “Can’t I- prove myself or something? Prove I can catch twenty vampires? At least in my lifetime?”

“You have indirectly assisted over 20 vampires in their escape-”

“And I can catch them too!” Toshiko’s brain breezed through possibilities. “How about, if I can catch five vampires by the end of the week-”

“I highly doubt you are capable of that-”

“-then you gotta let me stay here! Five vampires in a week, and you keep me enrolled so I can keep bothering Chizu.”

His eyes narrowed. “Not bothering Chizu.”

“Right,” she said, not meaning it whatsoever. “So is it a deal?”

He sighed.

“I presume this is the only way I’ll get you out of my office?”

“Yep!”

“Very well. But just a week. And if you overextend, whatsoever-”

“Won’t happen!”

“-then I will be forced to launch an investigation into the other incidents in which you may be responsible.”

Toshiko’s eyes widened. Things had suddenly become incredibly serious. “I promise I won’t.”

“Good. You have a week off or something to kill vampires. Now go, go.” He waved her off. “I have paperwork to get to.”

She snatched her bag and sat up. “Bye,” she muttered, on her way out.

Toshiko swore she heard him say something about needing a competent assassin that could take out something without a weakness to stakes....

Okay. So, your usual lack of respect for authority. Some mention of being expelled. Your characteristic failures at life. I fail to see how any of this lead into the… vampire situation you’re going on about.

If Chizu would shut up, this good narrator would tell you the story. But since she has not, we can presume that this story will remain unanswered for the rest of forever. I mean, until next Tuesday when the Vampire and I have a date.

…
…
…

Since she has evidently embraced the art of being quiet for once in her life, then the lovely girl writing this will now continue. (She needs to stop gritting her teeth, geez. Is she trying to unrelate herself to vampires by dulling down her teeth? Well she’s doing well because she looks like freaking Herbivore.)

...


Toshiko started on her epic quest in the Assignment Corridor (However terribly it was named.) In the Assignment Corridor you… got assignments?

And that was what Toshiko went there to do. Get an assignment. Get it? Good. Because if she had to say “Assignment” one more time, she’d go insane.

She stopped in front of the billboard and surveyed her choices. Most barely centered around vampires at all. All sorts of Supernatural Purge Requests (SPR) were sent to the academy. Only the safest ever made it to the students.

A flock of loose mermaids there, a screaming lamp there (a poltergeist, obviously; a baby could exorcize it with a strong fart), but no vampires.

Toshiko huffed, but internally she felt a little let down. How would she get five vampires in a week if she couldn’t even find any?

“Checking out the assignments?” A teasing voice, like bells, rang out those horrid, monstrous words that Toshiko would never have written if only against her will. “Hehe- anything in your field of expertise? An important monument needs demolishing? A person needs an assault performed on them?”

Toshiko pouted. “Not quite,” she muttered. “It’d be great if I could knock off a few vampires by destroying a few things.” She stared longingly at the list of empty, lame tasks. “But alas, not for me.”

Chika stepped back, examining her with keen, green eyes. (Keen green!) “If it were that easy, you’d have wiped vampires off the planet.” Her pretty keen-green eyes twinkled. Toshiko found herself looking away, anywhere away. “But really, what’re you looking for? I’d get you anything in the world. You know that. I can ask the-”

“I need to catch five vampires, stat.”

The other girl’s eyebrows shot up. “Five vampires?” Her voice rose with incredulty. “How are you going to manage that? You know the amount of magic needed to neutralize one-”

“I know,” Toshiko said exasperatedly. She continued to avoid Chika’s eyes. “I know all of it. But I seriously need to catch them.”

“One alone is enough to drain your magic stores down to the negatives. It’d take days to recover-”

“Can you get me the assignments?”

Silence fell over the two. Toshiko watched her shoe prod the wall of its own free will. It guided itself back to her other foot, and then plodded off towards the wall again.

Chika sighed.

Toshiko looked up.

“Alright,” she agreed. “I’ll get you the assignments. But don’t push yourself, Toshi, okay?”

Don’t call me Toshi- But she couldn’t deny that the nickname still made her heart pound. “Okay. Thanks, Chika.”

Chika nodded slowly. She watched Toshiko for a long moment, then turned on her heel and walked away.

…An hour later, Toshiko received a singular assignment, detailing the location of the Akane family’s mansion.

Well, frick.

...

So you’re telling me that Chika managed to convince the staff to give you the information of the most feared and deadly vampire family in Japan?

Is that really so hard to believe? She’s a top student, she took out the Katsumi family in her first year here, and-

I don’t care about that plot-convienent idiocy. Oh my god, she has such terrible taste in women. Why on earth does she like you? You have the self-preservation of a drunk seal with a knife. The intelligence of a bloated Cheeto. The exorcizing skill of a fridge magnet’s-

Jeez, jeez, calm down. That’s just getting hurtful now. A n y w a y , can I get back to the story?

Please tell me the rest of it makes me feel less concerned about the wellbeing of the universe.

...

Toshiko started by gathering information. Unlike other vampire families, it was well-cataloged on wikipedia. She briefly considered that getting information from a free internet source was probably a bad idea, particularly with the extent of the Akane family’s influence. But nothing got done if you were sensible!

At least in Toshiko’s mind.

She made a few notes on the family history, the currently alive members (three! That was over halfway! And if she could get to their badass vampire databanks, she’d be set for life!), and most importantly, the powers that carried along the family’s genes.

She briefly hovered over the danger level.

5/5 stars.

Never confront.

Call the Royal Vampire Institute once you are at a safe distance.

It was kinda scary, which was just Toshiko’s thing. But she couldn’t help but shudder. The powers listed were your usual ones, at first. Immortality, superior strength, high magic levels-

But as you made your way down, you’d see the scarier ones.

Phasing.

Projectile Manipulation.

Telekenisis.

How could you take down something that could manipulate your entire body to complode? (For some reason Toshiko found that concept the most intriguing. Toshikos from other universes cackled at this weak, pathetic creature.) She was actually considering just setting fire to the mansion, but then she found out about their immunity to fire, and the pyrokenesis they all possessed.

Her eyebrow twitched.

Wonderful.

She made a few notes. Apparently, Philip Wittebane himself (the founder of demonology) had taken one of them down a few hundred years back. He’d had incredibly powerful weapons. Something she didn’t have. Could she use her gorgeous looks and charming personality to get some from the Department of Vampire-Murdery Weapons? (DVMW)

Toshiko snapped her fingers.

That was it!

She’d infiltrate the Akane mansion.

She’d had worse ideas, she supposed.

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Part 2.

tw// the word "ass" is used several times, general chaos, murderousness, and flirting, taxidermy
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Toshiko snapped her fingers.

That was it!

She’d infiltrate the Akane mansion.

She’d had worse ideas, she supposed.

No, she had not. Toshiko currently sat in the back of a taxi, probably being taken to be murdered. Her stake had been taken off her. Her silver earrings had been interchanged with faux metal. Her pocket mirror had been put away in the taxi “for later”.

Well, maybe her murder plans had been less than subtle. But she still was a little offended. She was the human. These people were badass vampires who could handle a little heart-stakey stuff.

Maybe.

She stared out a window and closed her eyes, reciting the names of the known vampires.

Alexander Akane, Mai Akane, Briar Akane, Chika…

Chika?

Her eyes snapped open. All of a sudden, instead of the amber eyes of the Akane family, all she could see were those beautiful green eyes which spoke and sang to her, full of warmth and forgiveness-

Forgiveness? She should be asking for Toshiko’s. With force, she pushed those eyes from her mind. Maybe she should be watching where she was going. Yes, that was a good idea. She needed to ensure she wasn’t being taken to a dark alley to be stabbed with her own stake.

It wasn’t like anyone would look for her. She’d need to take care of herself.

She took in a deep breath. “I hope this goes well…” she muttered.

The driver in front of her didn’t move an inch. His eyes remained fixed on the road. Is he a vampire? The stiffness of his shoulders seemed to suggest it irresistibly. But he had handled her weapons with such ease, such lack of fear-

The car screeched to a halt. She was nearly thrown out of her seat.

She recovered quickly. “What the-”

Then she was staring down the barrel of a gun. She went rigid.

Those eyes…

Definitely human.

“What’re your intentions with Young Master Kaya?”

“Huh?” Toshiko’s brain went blank.


What the everliving frick made you think that was a good idea? Calling the mansion without a specified reason, getting that whole bunch on guard? What were you thinking? And why would you keep a stake in your pocket?

Oh shuttup. In my defense- like, wouldn’t the mysteriousness of the situation and my silly face take them off guard? I thought I could get in as like, a mistake. “Oh, he must’ve invited her.” “No they must’ve.” And my stake was a great choice! It made them aware I knew what they were-

Which is a benefit how?

…I don’t know. I just thought that sounded like a good excuse.

I honestly can’t believe you’re still alive. Is the whole world full of moronsexuals willing to take your sadly attractive self under their wing?

Ooh! Yes! Moronsexuals! I should get to talking about Kaya soon. You’ll love them!

I doubt that. But go on, confirm what I already knew.


“Young… Master Kaya?”

“Yes.” The man’s brown gaze didn’t waver. “Tell me. What do you intend to do with her? Break her heart? Steal her money? Manipulate her into mass-murdering a bunch of people to cover your own lust for blood?” His finger twitched on the trigger.

Something about the specificness of the final one made her wonder. “None of those things,” she said honestly. I just want to kill a bunch of vampires so I can keep my job. Is that so wrong? “I’m just visiting. I won’t hurt… Kaya.”

“Hmph.” The gun didn’t waver. “I will keep a guard on you at all times. And not a human one,” he added with narrowed eyes.

She would’ve wooped for joy if a gun hadn’t been trained on her forehead. More vampires! She’d fulfill twenty in a week, not five, at this rate! Things just kept getting better. TOSHIKO WITTEBANE, BABY!

Something shifted in his gaze. Something kinder. “I don’t think you’re a bad person. You seem- happy, in a sense. You… must care for Kaya deeply.”

Toshiko didn’t know how he’d gotten that out of her, but she wasn’t going to say anything. “Yes. I do.”

The gun clicked.

She gasped for air. He slipped it into his jacket. “Good. I’m glad we’re at an understanding.” He turned around and started driving again.

It was just the safety.

At last, she was going to accomplish her longtime dream of 14 hours and 22 minutes.

…

Which might take another 14 hours and 34 minutes. Toshiko sat in the “Sitting Room”, swinging her legs back and forth. She hadn’t seen an entire cockroach in this entire crumbly place that looked suspiciously like it’d been set on fire one or two times.

She was reconsidering her arson plans. (Hey, maybe the “pyro” power thingies were just to trick people into not seeing their true weakness. Fire, from an exceptionally attractive gal named Toshiko!)

And then someone walked in and Toshiko lost her breath.

The someone had bleached hair, several piercings, and a mischevious grin. She barely had time to register their face as “Briar” before they were in front of her, and snapped a pocket knife open to her throat.

Toshiko yelped, and fell back on the (incredibly comfy!) couch. The knife followed and hovered closer. Briar Akane leaned in close to her, narrowing their eyes.

Exceptionally hot vampire! My inner Bella is being unleashed! Oh god. Oh god, oh god- NO! STOP IT! I WILL NOT SURVIVE THIS TRANSFORMATION INTO A CLASSIC TEEN HEROINE WITH NO PERSONALITY-

“Are you the one who broke Red’s heart?”

Well, that depended on whether this hot demon was Red or not. By the lack of red in their attire, she presumed not.

Well then.

“Um. No?” Thoroughly crafted answer.

Briar’s eyes narrowed and they leaned in-

“Who’re you harrassing today, beloved sibling of mine?” Someone was leaning up against the inside of a door.

Briar jerked back and Toshiko felt disappointed. Should she curse out the newcomer, or sing them praises?

Then Toshiko saw the love of her life and the choice was made. “Oh! Thanks for saving me- Red-” Oh gosh, she was red- she was so RED! IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! BEAUTIFUL CREATURE DETECTED! ALL VAMPIRE HUNTERNESS FORFEITED FOR THIS WORK OF BLOODSUCKING SPLINTER-VULNERABLE ART! Also known as-

“Kaya, what’re you doing here?” Briar’s voice was edged with annoyance.

Kaya smiled. “Coming to meet my new arm candy, what else?”

Frick.

“Ah- I'm not just like, your arm candy” Toshiko cut in, embracing this role because y'know what, the newcomer was hot, and she seemed to be flirting with Toshi, so- “You're clearly mine. Like, just look at us.” She gestured between herself and overattractive-splinter-vulnerable-vampire-girl. “I have the proper vibes.”

Briar squinted at her. Then he looked at Kaya.

“I hate to say this, but I agree with you on this one, Red.”

“Hey!” Toshiko sputtered. Now that was unfair. Unfair attractive bloodsuckers and their- Oh, I’m supposed to be killing these guys and not debating over who would be the arm candy in our supposed relationship. But Toshi had never considered herself a (wo)man of (honour?) focus. And thus, she would embrace the attactiveness of the very, very attractive people who were in front of her. “Eh. I'll be awesome later, when my brain works." That was good, she was sure.

Briar snickered. “If you break her heart, I’ll rip you to pieces.” They smiled sweetly. “Pieces that our terrifying parents might want to stuff as memoirs of our teenage rebellion, but-”

“Oh, go away.” Kaya pushed Briar out, her sibling laughing all the way. “No one ever asked you.”

“My brain is too big to be contained!”

Kaya slammed the door on their face.

And then she turned to Toshiko.

“Okay, I just basically told the entire Akane family, the mice in the walls, and everyone’s dog-walker that we’re dating and I swear to god, that you’d better have a good explanation for this visit or I am going to kill you myself.”

Oh, she doesn’t like me. Toshiko drooped. Of course. I shouldn’t have-

Only people like Chika would ever like her. People who wanted a victim- someone desperate and insecure like Toshiko. Someone who could be the tiny mouse next to your pedestal, a miniature figure to elevate yourself over.

Though if the choice were between being a mouse and dying alone, there was an obvious choice.

Just like there’d been an obvious choice when Toshi’d decided-

She jerked back to reality. Kaya’s face was incredibly close to hers, amber eyes glowing with a furious intensity.

“So?” she demanded. “What?”

Oh god, she’s hot.

She decided for honesty, because heck living when this person was in front of you. “I want to kill your parents.” Kaya and Briar had also been on that list, but Toshi didn’t mention it. “Will you help me?”

Kaya stared at her. Then a fanged grin spread over their face. “Sure, but why?”

“I’m a Vampire Hunter,” Toshiko said. “I kill vampires. But like, not well. I’ve killed more humans by accident.”

“Eh.” Kaya shrugged. “It happens to the best of us.”

“Humans generally aren’t supposed to kill humans.’

“Akanes generally aren’t supposed to dye their hair bright red.”

“It’s cute,” Toshiko offered.

For the first time, a furious blush went over Kaya’s face, and she backed off from Toshiko, her hands shielding her face. Toshiko found that cute. Also, an interesting prompt for EVIL PLANS! Mostly regarding how many more times she could make that pale face get flooded with blood it shouldn’t naturally have.

“Well,” Kaya muttered. “We should probably enlist Briar to kill them. Do you have any specialties?” she eyed Toshiko. “I know you vampire hunters usually-”

“Oh no, I flunked out of the ‘Creating Specials’ course.”

“Oh.”

They both paused and stared awkwardly at each other. The tension skyrocketed. And not the good kind of tension, that usually resulted in a sitcom kiss. The kind of tension where you wanted to either shove a bag over your head, or shove your head into a bag for suffocation reasons.

It was about time for murder, then, Toshiko guessed.

“I’ll enlist help from someone competent. And uh- you call your sibling?”

Kaya nodded. They were blushing again. “Understood. Will do so, immediately.”

Wait a second- that’s why you called me last night! Aggh- I nearly spilled my jello- watch where you’re moving your arms!

Yes,(ignoring your stupid jello addiction) that is in fact, why the author called the most annoying person in the world at 2am. Because murder reasons, and hot vampire people. Why else would she do so?

I’m just going to ignore that, because wait a frigging second. Did you refer to me as “competent” in your story? Did you seriously get over your inferiority complex in the middle of a conversation and compliment me? For me?

Let’s get something clear. I never complimented you on purpose. You don’t deserve it. You’re a smug, arrogant pig with no fashion sense and a dumb pig face. If I were a seal, I’d stab you. Hold up, are you even listening? Chizu! Stop talking over me!

Ohhh, no wonder those poor gals fell in love with you. If you keep being this charming, I might just follow. Complimenting me. A real charmer, hmmm. Hmmm hm…. Being moronsexual looks better and better by the day, if these are the benefits.

Shut up.

Oh no, I’m not being sarcastic, Toshi. I’m genuinely surprised that you managed to pull your head out of your ass like that. And so quickly! You shoved it back up, of course, but still, very, very impressive manuever. I’m shocked you don’t have whiplash.
…
…
…
Why do you have a shovel-

THIS IS A THREAT

THAT IS NOT A THREAT, THAT IS NOT A THREAT THAT IS NOT A AHHHHHHHHHHH-

Shovels are good. Heehee.

…You just stole my jello, you wretched little--
…
…
…

“Briar will not be helping us,” was the first thing Kaya said as she strode (like a freaking catwalk manuever) into the room. She leaned up against the wall, arching her eyebrows at Toshi. “They claim they have to… ‘plot revenge on the blueberry that will inevitably break my adorable Red’s heart’.”

“Blueberry?” Toshiko temporarily blanked. Then she realized. “Hey! My blue is a very pretty, very light blue. I am not a greenass freak of nature that tastes like mush and should never be eaten any way but frozen.”

BlueRed sounds like a cute ship name, though- Toshiko shook off the thought. It was kinda cute though, that both of them had dyed hair. Soulmate thingies. Blueberry and Strawberry. Oh god, she has freckles. Strawberry. She’s just a strawberry.

Om nom.

“They’re an idiot, we already established this. I guess intelligence doesn’t seem to occur very often in our family. And if it’s hereditary, it probably won’t happen for a good deal of time.” She reached out and booped Toshiko on the nose. Before Toshiko could figure out what that meant, Kaya was already speaking again. “So, any luck on your end?”

“No.” Toshiko shook her head. “Chizu’s not interested. Sorry. We’re stuck with each other.”

“Eh.” Kaya shrugged. “I’m good enough to match two Chizus.”

Hm? That was an odd way of putting it.

“Do you know Chizu?”

“What do you think I am, a vampire or a goddess?”

“Admittedly, both.”

They stared at her.

Toshiko grinned back. “Naw, just kidding. Chizu’s my roommate. At least, if I’m going to be staying at the Vampire Academy,” she added thoughtfully. “Hm. I really need to annoy her right about now. She probably has that stupid haughty look on her face right about now. Like, you know, an annoying chin lifty thingy, and weird eyebrow manuevers. And she’s eating packaged jello. I know it. She can’t get enough of that junk.” Toshiko realized she was rambling and shut her mouth. “Sorry.”

“You sound pretty close.”

Kaya was frowning. It wasn’t like Chizu’s though- or Chika’s, the one that was so disapproving, so focused on Toshiko that she just withered beneath it. The one that said: I’m so disappointed in you.

Instead, Kaya’s frown seemed to be sadder, than anything. Like they’d opened a present and found a Barbie doll instead of the flamethrower they requested. Not speaking from experience, of course. What kind of demented child asks for an illegal weapon? Ahahha.

“We are, a bit. I just like bothering her.”

“What about your academy? You mentioned that you might not stay there…” Kaya trailed off. They sat down next to Toshiko on the couch. “If you’re comfortable talking, of course-”

“Naw, I’m totally comfy.” Toshiko grinned at Kaya. She didn’t smile back. “I made a deal with my headmaster. Since I’ve gotten the Academy into a lot of trouble, I gotta catch five vampires in a week. This was the only one I could get.”

“You must not have many resources, then. Since it’s a vampire-hunting academy and all. And you got stuck with us smug Akane jerks.”

“Naw. I had resources. I just-” Toshiko hesitated. This was something she hadn’t even admitted to herself yet, but- “I think Chika wanted to punish me. Or prove something to me at least.” She bit her lip and looked down.

“Chika?” Kaya cocked their head to the side.

Toshiko suddenly remembered that she hadn’t known Kaya for longer than two hours. “Well, uh, how about you? Any, um- problems? With people you know who want to punish you?”

Kaya snorted, thankfully accepting the non-sequiter. “My dad, for one? Dude can’t get over how I’ve ‘ruined’ my body. Oh no, you can’t be non-binary, oh no, you can’t cut your hair, oh no, you can’t express yourself in any way. It’s frankly exhausting. If he ever stuffs my body, you can be sure he’ll dye my hair a nice shade of brown. Yes, ‘my daughter Kaya, who never once got a tattoo or pinned up pan flags all around our living room before the Great Meeting with the Yamanaku Family.’ That’s it, that’ll be the exact wording by my corpse.”

Toshiko burst out laughing. Kaya was actually smiling now. “That sounds like my parents,” she said breathlessly. “They’re awful. I had like, mental problems when I was younger, and they still don’t let me take butter knives out of the drawer. I have to make do with a stake, and I had to argue about all the vampire families after my head for it.”

Kaya narrowed their eyes. “How despicable. We all need weapons to stab our siblings with.”

Toshiko nodded. “I had a few siblings when I was in Foster Care, and I can confirm, every younger sibling needs a good stabbing.”

“Since Briar is younger mentally, I agree with this.”

Toshiko giggled uncontrollably. She wrapped herself up into a Toshi-burrito and rolled on the couch. Then she fell.

“Ow!”

“You okay?” Kaya peered at her.

Toshiko disentagled herself and smiled at Kaya. “Of course, Red! Blueberry is immortal!”

Kaya scowled. “If you’re trying to make a joke, it’s not working.” But she was blushing, so it definitely was working. “We can do better than Briar’s dumb nicknames. You can be-” she peered at Toshiko- “Crow?”

“You’re very attractive, and that’s the only reason I’ll accept that nickname.”

Kaya swatted her. “Okay, I came up with one, it’s your turn.” They sat back, arms crossed, and face flaming.

Toshiko thought very hard about it. Very, very hard. “I think I’ll go with Red. It suits your face.”

Kaya sputtered. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Then they regained control of themself. “Oh, shut up. Fine. I’ll call you Crow, pretty girl-” they poked Toshiko. “And you can call me ‘Red’. Fair?”

“Understood,” Toshiko chirped. She wasn’t too sad about the nickname. “You can call me Toshi, though, if you really want to.”

“Alright. Toshi.” Kaya mumbled a bit. “Toshi. And Red. That got us nowhere. If a fanfiction author is out there, she should definitely delete this segment.”

…

“Unbearable romantic tension is over. Get your dumb butts over here, I’m going to help you.”

Briar had not abandoned them at all.

In their arms was a blueprint.

“Are you kidding me?” Kaya grumped.

Toshiko just laughed.

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