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Forum-Index Diaries -pxtergiest-
Trainerlevel: 35

Forum Posts: 225
Posted: Sun, 25/04/2021 03:46 (2 Years ago)
I feel more stressed than I should be. Lately, life has just said: nope! Have more stress! And throw me problems. At one point it was just school, now it’s my transition, worry about my family, my friends… I feel smaller than I used to be. I feel like crap 24/7 now, and have I told my parents? Course not. Just the typical “I’m Fine.” works, right? I’m tired of myself at this point. Sometimes i stare at a mirror, and question how I came into existence, and why people care about me. Speaking of that, I’m pretty sure I talk to like three people now, and I’m unsure if they even care. They act like they do, but I’m sure they don’t. I don’t feel good enough. Family. Great to have around. Great people. But when they’re asking you if you’re okay, you just wanna respond with ‘No, I feel like crap, leave me alone.’ But you can’t say that. You gotta say “I’m great!” And if that isn’t enough, my grandmother acts like my existence is a burden. “Boys are aggressive, mean!” Boys will be bugs, sometimes. I’m tired of my existence. All I do is never shut up. All I do is just work for others. I haven’t properly relaxed in years. All I do is vent and bring everyone down. I guess that’s what good for nothing means. Where do I belong? In the arms of someone? In hell? Alone? So many questions. “These feelings are normal.” My father said. So, being trans is normal? Hating your body so much that you’d hurt yourself yourself for a new body is normal? Great advice. I’m tired of lying to myself and saying I’m fine. Someone hug me. Tell me it’s okay.