Forum Thread

*THIS WAS CREATED FOR ONLY MYSELF TO POST INTO! PLEASE DO NOT POST IN THIS THREAD, THANK YOU*

So although the week is nowhere near complete at this point I figured it was better to start now rather than forget about it later on like I always do. I don't expect anyone to read these, but everyone will be given a new identity and I will be doing my best to keep my location secret. Hopefully I can keep this up unlike previous attempts at diaries/journals/vent posting.

---

Okay so I got waylaid by school and work and life... But I’m back and hopefully this will be a more regular thing.

I got the flu over break and I’m still incredibly sick but I have to choir performances back to back this weekend with choreography. I’m a terrible dancer and it’s a jazz thing so I look like a fish out of water trying to keep up and on beat with everyone else while singing. Hopefully it goes well and I don’t literally break a leg... or arm... or anything else...

---

I managed to survive the dancing without hurting anyone, maybe next year I'll be brave enough to audition. I also managed to 'break up' with 626... that's something else entirely though... But yeah it's been a week... and it's only Monday.:/

---

Sometimes I manage to be on time... it’s rare though. 626 and I made up, but now I’m realizing that I might like someone else, but I can’t tell if it’s because of my emotional situation from the week or if I really am interested in them... it’s hard to tell but I’m not going to act on these things because I’m not the person to be selfish. I don’t think they even are interested in me as anything more than a friend... but I do meet all their attractive criteria except that I’m pretty sure they don’t date overweight girls. But I digress, it’s Beethoven weekend and my work is not being flexible, guess it’s time to say good bye to that job and find something new.

---

Title: RANT

I freaking hate summer and being in college. It was over 100 degrees here today, and I can't wait to move out of the literal hellhole for the coast. I just want to swim all day not write essays on social classes in the US. And this professor thinks that books from the late 80's are still reliable and relevant to the world today. Oh, the guy I liked started to date this girl who has the personality of a stale marshmallow. Literally, 99.9% of her personality is her chest, the rest is regurgitated memes from FaceBook. She says the 'owo' face out loud after her jokes, she yelled at me because of where I work (and she can't even find a job). These last few months have done me in. I just want to scream, but I know I can't.

---

So I’m glad that I’m almost done with my summer class. I will only have two weeks after Thursday, so I’m stressed out like crazy but I’m at the point of clam stress. 626 and party leader of Constant Flux flipped his lid last night because I wasn’t able to log in regularly for a game and therefore was a bad example for the other party members. And I’m no longer the second in command for his party. If anyone plays KHUx I’m in the guild Unicornus and my new party is called Heroes of Time. But it’s Fourth of July here today, and hot af still... I really just want to be in Washington already, but I have to finish this degree

---

Wow, I've never felt a week go by so slowly. So uh, hello again if you read this...I really hope not a lot of people read this... Summer class is coming to an end and it's like the floodgates of essay hell have opened. If you're in my friends you saw my snap earlier,(Sorry guys! I'm actually fine, promise!) if not I have two essay drafts due tomorrow and I'm at my end mentally. I actually called out of work today to do these papers, speaking of work I might have found a new job (HALLELUJAH). But I need to talk with the woman in charge of the business this weekend, I cannot wait to tell my jerk of a manager that I'm leaving PetSmart though. See ya later JF!

---

But this has been a fairly good week... Like I'd give this week an 8.5/10 because woman issues happened on the hottest day and I really wanted to swim

---

Title: Semi Vent

Y'all this week has been insane. It's been over 100 degrees here every day, and I swear my summer course teacher is the literal devil. He had us come in to have our research papers reviewed and when my scheduled time came I went in. He was a freaking hour behind schedule, AN HOUR. I was sitting outside for him to finish with 5 other students who hadn't seen him yet and been sitting out there since their scheduled time. And he never even got to me before his next class started. I don't have words to describe my anger... literally, it's the first thing to make me actually angry about his class. But next week is the final week and I can't wait to be done, but two weeks after that fall semester starts... And now I'm wondering why I even go to college... Well, I go to sing, I mean it's honestly my favorite thing to do other than bake... And on the subject of singing, I need to practice my sight reading... If I can't do it I won't make it into chamber singers, and I've already made plans with the other chamber singers for the semester trip. @me why do you procrastinate everything?

---

So I started my new job this week, well I started today actually. And I really love it, I get to sit in an office and figure out how to better reach clients... without human interaction. Don't get me wrong people are great, but I just got out of a job where I worked in 'pet retail' for three years. So I'm super happy to only interact with co-workers and compile data from surveys. My summer English course ended, and I feel so relaxed now. But fall semester is around the corner, so I hardly have time to really relax. I'm excited to get back to singing, I miss choir so much. But with choir comes drama so be ready for my vents and dramatic posts to increase as the semester goes on.

Until next week :)

---

I’m constantly tired this week. My new job is a take home thing so I’m technically never off the clock. I’m also realizing that I really want someone in my life to tell me nice things and be cutesy with me. That’s not happening any time soon though. I have one more week until fall semester starts, hello 7 am classes. All my friends irk are finally coming back from all their vacations so I’m able to see them before they all officially go back to college with me or go off to a new school. So it’s a sad time of the year, but thanks to Snapchat and texting it’s like they’re still with me. Sorry for the lame update if anyone reads this, I guess I’m just feeling down about life right now. Hopefully I’ll pull out of it soon, if not I know to get help and not deal with it alone. I’ve seen too much of that in my short life this far.

Until next week

---

Oh gosh I almost forgot about this. So it’s been almost two weeks since my last post... really nothing has changed. School started and getting up at 5 am is a pain, but I want to graduate. I made it back in to Chamber Choir but I lost my status as a Soprano and am an Alto now so no more melodies from me... for now lol. Everything has been pretty great though lately.

Until next week.

---

I'm literally starting to wonder why I try to make friends. People can be so rude sometimes, this girl in my math class was telling this guy about how she was lying to her friend about where the class was being held. There are several offshoots of the main campus in nearby cities but she was telling her that the class on the offshoot furthest from the main campus (where we were while sitting in the class). I get joking around with friends, but that's just cruel to do to someone especially when they're a freshman and don't know what's going on. I don't know, maybe I'm just finding reasons to be upset, not like I'm doing better than the girl that was being lied to. I don't give up easily but I guess I'm tired of being told I'm terrible for no reason other than I'm trying to make friends.
Work is great, and so is college. The fall is a crazy time though for choir, and being in two choirs (maybe three I haven't decided) means I will have no social life. But I'm used to it, not like I'm worth making time to be friends with outside of choir anyway.

~Until next week~

---

I’m late by a day... oops? Uh so school is going good so far, I actually like my math teacher. I still am very much not a morning person but I’m realizing that my 7am class is fun because we’re all exhausted and we all make terrible jokes. I also learned I cry too much at 7am when I can’t stop laughing. Oh and there was a guy at school from my summer course, he looks like a freaking Greek statute like ohhhhh myyyyy goddddd take me now... I told a friend about him, and she freaked out and told me to get away from him, turns out he sexually assaulted her last semester, he’s not attractive anymore. Super glad I dodged that bullet, never got his snap, intsa, or anything mainly because I’m awkward. So like yay Trixa! Good job at being an awkward mess for once! Oh and this really gorgeous girl in choir dropped out, so like the two beautiful people I’m my life irl that I had chances with poof gone... So that sucks.

~Until next week~

---

Uhhh maybe being late is my thing now? Welcome back to another thrilling week in review jkjk my life is boring as ever... Chamber had a party over the weekend though, it was a ton of fun! We convinced our director to play CAH with us, and I’m pretty sure that he ordered his own after we left, all of us were at his house until 1am my time. It was so awesome, and it really has me looking forward to Chamber tour in October... I have to start testing out different gummy bears in alcohol before hand as well, but that’s nothing to worry about here!
Greek Statue keeps talking to me between classes and I don’t know how to make them stop. I like the attention a lot but I don’t want to be around this person after finding out what they did. I value my friend more than the attention from G.S. and right now it’s really hard to convey that if he’s hanging around me. I was doing something for work on my laptop and he came up behind me and started to give me a massage (probably the best massage in my life so far btw) but I freaked out because I don’t need anymore trauma with guys that don’t understand no and stop. So maybe he got the message this time?

Ugh this thing went from a great time to reliving my worst moments ever...
~Until Next Week!~

---

So I’ll be honest I knew I needed to post yesterday but I just didn’t know how to explain the week. So a friend of mine I’ll call her Jessie was off with G.S. guy, which is a whole different thing to talk about, and left her backpack in the hallway of the music department of my college. She was gone for almost 45 minutes with him and another friend and I needed to go to class so we left her bag in the hallway when she texted us that she was on her way back, and we ran to our class. She comes into my class 5 minutes later crying, her bag had been stolen. Her music, laptop, camera, basically her life was in that bag. We had thought the cameras had been installed and that the building had been made more secure already, we have badges to get into the building now, so Tia and I were in shock. I’ve literally left my laptop out in the open and gone and done something across campus and come back and my laptop is still there. I don’t know what’s going on with my school this semester, but it’s crazy and stupid. First, we had some idiot lighting the guys bathrooms on fire across campus now we have a backpack thief. It’s stupid. Oh and G.S. guy? I feel like he was in on it somehow, I’m glad I’m staying away from him.

UPDATE
So Jessie is in my class and she found her backpack. But her laptop, iPad, camera, etc. were stolen out of it. Her music was in it though, along with her school work. I feel so bad for her. But this is kinda what she gets for her behavior because this wasn't the first time she's gone off with a guy and left us to watch her things. I'm worried she's going to get pregnant or an STD if she keeps this up. I don't know when my college turned into a high school, but it needs to stop, like for real.

~Until Next Week!~

---

Title: This is a trash heap of a post

Ughhhhh why am I always a day late now? Whatever I guess... I mean for me I’m still on day 7 I’m 8-ish hours behind PH time I think?
So nobody came here for me to figure out what the time difference is between PH and my time so sorry about that! If there’s anyone else reading this... Is there? I’m curious now honestly, and also slightly mortified if there is anyone reading this. I try to make sure to only highlight the BIG events of the week, so really my life isn’t that exciting. Some weeks (like this one) are really boring and I have to really think to figure anything out. Or I stall... Like I’m doing now, sorry!
So this week in school, it’s getting close to midterms (ugh just thinking about them is exhausting me) which means choir tour. This semester we go to LA, and I’m so excited to go home again. Oh yeah I’m originally from the LA area, well slightly north and on the coast line... But that’s not important. What is important is that Jessie is a ... I want to swear but I can’t... She likes guys too much for her own good. I’m worried about her, she’s going to end up pregnant and not have a clue who the father is at this point. She comes in late because of it too, she’s going to fail if she keeps doing this. I’m a little bit glad she left my room for the trip so she could be with the younger girls because I don’t want to walk into the hotel and she her and some guy... well that’s enough of that line of thought.

~Until Next Week!~

---

Title: THIS WEEK IS SAD

I swear the universe enjoys laughing at the joke that is my life. There's a guy in one of the vocal groups I'm in. He's really tall, has a voice that makes my heart stop, and is a genuinely nice guy. Um, I need a code name for him uh... Giant? no... Miracle Man? definitely not... The guy that stands behind me and sounds like God is alive? too long (tgtsbmaslgia? nope still too long)... I have nothing. Nickname aside, he is literally everything perfect in a guy around here, and I'm not the only one who thinks that. He has a girlfriend, and she has the same name as me. If I had a common name like Ashley or Sarah I wouldn't care because it's a common name. I have a weird as heck name, and it's not a name normally used where I live. But he has a girlfriend with the same name as me, and she lives far away, and it's in a rough spot apparently... But the name thing makes me 'undesirable' or it will. Ugh, dating is hard.

Oh and my best friend, I'll call her Fish (for reasons...), is celebrating her birthday this week and is trying to set me up with one of her other friends. I was happy looking at people from far away, but I guess life has different plans for me? I don't know if I'm ready to get back into dating after my last relationship (almost 3 years) but it's really feeling like I don't have a choice anymore. I need a vacation from life, is that even possible? Like death without dying? I miss how easy life was before college and work... Oof this was a depressing way to end this.

I almost forgot, one of my really good friends was kicked out of his house because his dad's girlfriend is transphobic. He's dropping all his classes and moving to San Fransico at the end of October. I'm really going to miss hanging out with him, but I'm always welcome at his new place. And I'll be going to Pride with him and the rest of the group so that makes it a little better. I'm just going to miss my Ghost.

~Until Next Week~

---

Well RIP... It's been almost two weeks I thought I was doing so well ;-;

IT'S MIDSEMESTER TIME AND EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE AND I'M DROWNING AND SOMEONE SEND HELP BECAUSE THE GUY WAS FLIRTING WITH ME AND I JUST iefhwkqd.maoLSAKDHS,.D...

*cough* *cough*

Well that was fun. So this weekend is tour for one of my choral groups. So yay! I finally am getting my vacation! *loud cheering and screaming in the background*

But downside is I got mono. I shared my water with the wrong person. But that's basically everything? School is running my life so there's really nothing exciting happening right now. And I need to actually want to type out the drama from the last week+ so I might make a second post later this week.

~~So uh see you later this week?~~

---

So I never explained the drama of the last... wait it’s atill happening so it’s been almost a month of this??? Maybe that’s why depression and anxiety has flared up so much. But I really need to just write it all out soon... maybe next week? It would be a month’s worth of stupid drama but it would be so nice to get it off my chest and move on so I’m very sorry to anyone that doesn’t want to read about it. It’s literally tearing my friendships apart irl and I’m freaking out.

Spooky is moving next weekend so Angel, Diva, Ria, and myself are planning a surprise party for him. I’m really excited about it but I’m really sad that he’s leaving us. But it’s not like we can’t go visit him and vice versa. And I’m super excited to go to pride in SF with other people that won’t judge me for who I love and how I love. But I need to lose some more weight and get some fun glitter and rhinestones for the idea I have in my head. So look for a group of awkward gays if you go or yell out “Hey Trixa!” (please don’t I will run away and cry if someone does that)

~Until Next Week!~

---

Wow I guess I’m a liar... I will make this little post now and then later I will get into the drama...Believe it or not there was even more stuff uncovered by my favorite ace, Zey.

So get ready y’all, the storm is coming... and it’s worse than even I thought it would be

---