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I'm Feeling Lucky
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Filip OFFLINE   Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Wed, 21/04/2021 17:53 (3 Years ago) |
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I'll send the money right now :) [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 28/03/2021 11:10 (3 Years ago) |
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still means a lot to me, thank you :D and uhh i don't really have any specific things that I'd ask for, but everything and everyone is welcome and im thankful for everything :D [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Fri, 18/12/2020 16:32 (3 Years ago) |
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Hellooooo It's kinda weird to write here again, but I guess I just need it? Maybe to let go of it, maybe to sort out my thoughts, I have no idea honestly Christmas is soon! That's always fun :D Me and my friends decided to send packages to each other, can't wait for them to arrive :) I believe it's the very first time in my life that I actually bought Christmas gifts for someone, and it's a really nice feeling, hopefully I'll get to do it again I keep realizing bad stuff about myself. I still lie a lot, I still try to look for ways to hurt myself, I still have tons of negative thoughts, and uhh.. I'm still dumber than everyone, that hasn't changed at all, I still have no idea how to make others happy, I still feel so, SO useless at so many moments, no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I think, I still feel just, useless, you know? When it comes to me and my problems, it's always just jealousity, feeling left out, stress, and people always find ways to calm me down, but when others are unhappy, I just get lost and scared, and I REALLY don't want to just sit here and listen, because it's so obvious that I'm not helping anyone at all My therapist said I should try to appreciate myself at least a little, "all adults should be able to see their bad sides, as well as their good sides, right?", and I know it's true, but I just, I don't know man Hopefully Christmas will be fun for everyone, I'm kinda excited honestly :) I guess it's a good moment to say: merry sharkmass, best wishes, stay safe everyone :D [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Thu, 05/11/2020 16:28 (3 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sat, 24/10/2020 19:35 (3 Years ago) |
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Which breeder do you select?: Professor_Mac Which Pokémon hunt do you select?: Mantyke How many shinies do you wish to buy: Two, please :D Everstone: Yes, on both [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Wed, 23/09/2020 23:40 (3 Years ago) |
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Hello :) For some reason I've decided to read EVERYTHING from this diary, and it was a hell of a ride, I could feel some things I felt back then, and I kinda noticed some things that've changed? My day today (well, yesterday?) was alright, woke up at 10am (5 hours of sleep lolol), did some basic morning stuff like shower and eating. Later it got meh, and well, here we are Life's been very.. weird lately. Weird isn't the best word, but I wanna use it xd I'm not really sure how to explain it tho, like, my mental health has been weird, my moods have been weird, my school situation is weird, my relations with some people are kinda weird. Oh, yeah, I've been using Discord a lot more since a long time, and no regrets :D I met some cool people there! Well, lemme try one thing. I'm Filip, I'm from Poland, and I'm 20 atm. I do have some problems, but I'm working on them, and I'm not doing it alone, as in, got some things diagnosed, and I'm willing to become a better person. I'm really trying to be as nice and calm as I can, but I feel like I overreact too much, I'm super sensitive sometimes, I still lie from time to time (which is really bad and I'm working on that as well), and uhh.. I think that's all? I want to see how many things will change in the future :D We all mess up sometimes, all of us, and sometimes, it's not only fault of one side that you're fighting with someone. We all have different problems, not everyone can deal with them, and sometimes we just don't want to be around others, and that's fine. Just stay calm, explain everything in a nice way, and understand their point of view. Together, you can work things out :) I've lost some close people, and I'm still gonna lose more. I really miss all of them, and I'm happy that I got to meet them, they're great people. Anyway, I should try to sleep, but I won't, so goodnight :) [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Thu, 09/07/2020 03:34 (3 Years ago) |
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It's summer, so of course I'm stressed. The whole virus thing is crazy, and it seemed like our school wasn't ready for online lessons I have a crush apparently, she's like, really amazing, if someone asked me what do I like the most about her, I'd have to say everything, she's just, amazing :') but it's stressing the heck out of me One of my closest friends... she's gone. I didn't even know that I'm blaming myself for it, but apparently I am. It made my bad thoughts come back to me, and I just can't get rid of them sometimes, but hey, I'm hanging in there, it's not that bad My personality? It seems to be VERY boring, since people mostly say "you're nice" and that's it. I'm not saying that I mind being nice, but I wish that they could see something cool about me, literally anything. But on the other hand, is there anything cool about me? Life's weird, man. [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 18/08/2019 08:50 (4 Years ago) |
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It's been 8 months since I wrote something here the last time where do I start uhhhh School. I passed my finals, I got kinda bad results, but I got accepted to both schools (I chose the first one), my results are: Basic polish 33% (23/70) Basic maths 50% (25/50) Basic english 98% (49/50) Advanced english 90% (45/50) Advanced geo 15% Advanced maths 12% Speaking polish 73% Speaking english 100% Now it's summer (my third month of summer currently), I'm at work right now, I'm renting out sunbeds (plastic chairs/beds that you can lay on). It's kinda stressful, and it's kinda difficult to manage with the money, but I'm doing it I guess? I've made like 3-4 mistakes during these two months I drew something a few days ago, a stressed killer whale, the tail turned out kinda weird but I think it's acceptable. And yes, the weird feeling inside is still here, it's not letting go of me at all, and still no one knows how to help me I don't really know what else to say honestly, I'm at work, stressed and bored, I really want to go home So um, see you later, remember to drink water and to take your meds : ) [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Mon, 14/01/2019 19:30 (5 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Mon, 14/01/2019 17:52 (5 Years ago) |
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Reference: here Colour of background(Leave blank for transparent): You can make any background really, but if you don't want to then just keep it transparent Other details?: I might pay a little more if I really like the drawing : ) also if it'll be too difficult to draw then just don't draw it, it's cool [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sat, 08/12/2018 22:04 (5 Years ago) |
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ive been lying again, wearing different masks, doing dumb stuff I feel like I lost few friends because Im not talking to almost anyone, literally just few people, so thats why there are times when im just alone, because everyone gets busy, everyone needs sleep, everyone needs to take care of themselves and others, so I understand it and its kinda cool, but sometimes I just want to cry so badly, but I just dont know how to I cut last time like, few months ago, it was more like scratches tho, and I dont do it anymore, the feeling of wanting it is pretty much gone, except for some nights when im alone weird, sometimes I hate being alone but its what I want, I dont even try to change it, I know there are people who would try to help, but like, I just dont really know how to explain how I feel, I cant even explain it to myself, I dont really know how I feel, all I feel is this dumb feeling thats here since almost a year. im not saying I dont feel other feelings, I still feel happy or sad sometimes, but most of the time its just this weird feeling thats not letting me do anything, I can't even relax, its really bad I failed two of three mock exams, I passed only english, I got 48/50 points, but my friend got 49 points and it just made me feel even worse, I thought im good at english, but apparently im bad even at it, but on the real exam I'll be more careful so I'll do my best again to get the 100%, and I hope he gets 100% too, he really deserves it I got special math lessons with a private tutor, tomorrow is my third lesson with him, he's kinda scary but he's helping me so thats good, I start to understand more and more things its 11:03pm and im trying to sleep but I just felt awful and needed to talk a little, now im feeling a bit better I wonder if anyone ever reads this? probably not but eh, its cool, not like it really matters anyway im gonna try to get some sleep, good night, remember to take pills in the morning! [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 14/08/2018 00:47 (5 Years ago) |
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again but hey world seems more colorful without my pills all the things, voices, weird feelings I kinda enjoy being scared of that, and I definitely enjoy not taking my pills also I hatched 3 shinies in a row yesterday so thats cool [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 15/07/2018 21:30 (5 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Mon, 02/07/2018 21:37 (5 Years ago) |
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here and here @Twink here @TheLeftOne here @tictoc~ here, here and here I'm really sorry for making you all wait so long, I basically lost all my motivation for this whole time, I hope you all like them, feel free to tell me if you want any changes [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 15/05/2018 18:57 (5 Years ago) |
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here is your cupcake, hope you like it .o. @~Nightmarewolf~ here is your cupcake, hope you like it Thanks for ordering ^^ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Wed, 02/05/2018 17:51 (5 Years ago) |
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But again, im not feeling to well there's barely anyone to listen, im mostly alone I dont even talk with anyone, I dont feel like talking with anyone, or doing anything hey I got a graphic tablet and im learning how to draw theres a lot on my mind, I still want to hurt myself, I almost did it already but there's barely anyone to listen am I alone again? [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 01/05/2018 17:24 (5 Years ago) |
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here is your cupcake, thanks for ordering ^^ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 01/05/2018 13:10 (5 Years ago) |
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[Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 01/05/2018 13:01 (5 Years ago) |
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I hope this is okay? i can't get much detail inside it, sorry, and thanks for ordering, if you want any changes feel free to pp me [Read more] |
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