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I'm Feeling Lucky
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Filip OFFLINE   Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Mon, 15/06/2015 00:05 (9 Years ago) |
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Ya, so.. At like 2pm I started talking with my other Best Friend. It was funny xD After 4am I fell asleep uwu I woke up at 2pm. Like always, I took a shower, ate breakfast, and started playing on pc. In meantie I was talking with my Twin. It was.. complicated conversation.. I still can't believe in that I'm making her smile. It's... impossible. At like 11pm I started doing my homework xD but I was too lazy so I just turned off pc and went to bed. Now is almost 2am. My Twin just told me something.. well.. it's normal, but it hurts. More than every cut or bad thing I ever did to myself. But well.. I should be ready on it.. but ya, everything will be fine as long as she will be happy. Only she and her happines is important, not my feelings. On.. another note.. I really want to cut myself again.. everything I want is just one person telling me one, important for me thing.. So ya, I don't remember more, and I just started crying, so.. Good night xD [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sat, 13/06/2015 21:43 (9 Years ago) |
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my every post will start similiar to this one~ 13.06.2015, Saturday, 11:24pm Around 1am I cut myself.. first time I heard how razor blade is cutting my skin, there was more blood than always, and I just started being scared and I started crying.. also I barely felt my arm xD I wrote to one of my best friends, beacuse I wanted her to help me, but.. I felt like she was really mad at me (I felt like whole universe is mad at me and wants to hurt me beacuse I cut), so I wrote to my Twin, but it was that same.. so I just continued crying and I fell asleep. I think it was worst Friday's night in my life .w. I woke up after 11am, but I got up from bed after 1pm. I was trying to talk with my Twin, but it was kinda hard for me, so I just said that I have to go and I went to my mom's work. When I came to her, she.. saw my cuts. I had to promise her that I won't do that again, so I just promised it. But I'm really scared beacuse I know I will break that promise soon.. Later I came to home, and then to my teacher's house. It was some time after 4:30pm. Me, my teacher, and few people from my school's project went somewhere. It was cool place, far away from humans, and there were a lot of flowers and few paintings. Paintings were boring, so I just started walking everywhere xD I found a place where I could sit and be alone, so I just sat on the table, and again looked at messages from my Twin's sister. I started crying again, and I still can't believe in this what she told me.. I think she was just lying, but still.. I want to believe in it, but I just can't.. Later I calmed down and went back to teacher. She said that we have to go back now, so we just came back xD It was after 6:30pm. Later.. I don't remember. I just know that I'm here and writing my diary, so.. ya xD That was all I remember from today, and first time I remember that much .w. I hope it will help me a bit with my memory xD so.. Bye for now~ uwu/ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sat, 13/06/2015 18:27 (9 Years ago) |
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First I want to write few things about me beacuse I don't want to forget them: My name is Filip (or Philip). I'm 15 years old from Poland. I'm mean, rude, ugly and awful (just the worst guy you ever met). I'm really closed in myself and I can hide my feelings. Oh, and I have depression and I cut myself. I love very dark places, and I'm kinda scared of people (even more scared to talk with them), but I like meeting new people, and I like talking with everyone, but I just prefer to talk in the night. Okay, I think that's all I want to remember xD I will start writing normally tomorrow (14.06), and I will make a new post here everyday after Wonder Trade. Oh, and please, don't post anything here, it's my diary, and I don't want anyone to comment anything here. Oh, and if you want to talk with me about something, just PM or PalPad me, I will try my best to help uwu (also you can add me on: Skype - ginexpl Kik - KingOfBakas Flight Rising - Filip666 just saying~) [Read more] |