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Filip OFFLINE   Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 06/10/2015 23:11 (8 Years ago) |
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Eh.. Ya, so.. I'm being ignored 13rd day by someone very important to me.. I guess she broke up with me.. But it's fine as long she will be happy. Um.. school is fine, just.. I feel really depressed.. plus she is ignoring me.. I'm crying all the time, but.. I can't tell anyone about it.. Why can't I just cut? Beacuse I'm trying to stop cutting.. I don't remember when I made my last cut, but I'm sure that it was very long time ago. I kinda feel ignored by everyone, but I know I'm not ignored, just everyone have their own life and stuff. But.. why I can't tell anyone how I feel? Why is it so hard for me to trust even my best friends? I think I will never know the answers.. Oh, and about school.. I was writing something like competition (I guess) from English, and.. I did it xD and.. my dad will come back soon.. yay So.. I guess that's all.. [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 20/09/2015 20:09 (8 Years ago) |
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Yeah, I again wasn't writing for a long time, sorry.. So.. school started, friends are kinda trying to get to know me closer.. once they saw my cuts, but.. I'm too scared to ask one of them to promise to never tell anyone about them.. And new girl came to our class.. she looks kinda beautiful, but I don't really want to be her friend.. I just.. want to be alone. And.. I think I will cut tonight.. few days ago I just curled up on bed and started crying.. my mom says that I was really scared, I was barely moving.. I don't remember that.. I barely remember anything.. And.. I just want someone to be here, with me.. I want to tell that person my problems, but.. I'm always alone.. last thing I remember is that.. that I was happy.. I hope that nobody can read that.. if you are reading it, please, stop.. it's about me, and.. I'm bad.. Eh.. that's everything for now.. Good night.. [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 30/08/2015 22:59 (8 Years ago) |
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Uh.. I wasn't wroliting here for a long time.. So.. um.. Few days ago my dad came back \o/ And today.. eh.. I was just again fighting with Kye.. I really want to show her how much I love her, to tell her how I feel, but.. I don't know how.. And.. I wish I wouldn't be an .. I wish I could know how to make her happy.. maybe one day I will find out how to do it, but.. at this moment I don't know.. And.. I again feel that feeling.. I'm scared that I will cut again.. I've cut myself few times, but nobody knows about that.. and I don't remember what I was doing today.. and yesterday.. I just.. don't know.. I guess I will forget a lot soon.. like.. most of my life.. So.. that's all for today.. Bye my diary, see you soon.. [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 02/08/2015 01:11 (8 Years ago) |
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I decided to write something.. Meh.. I remember less and less.. I don't even remember my day.. Atm I feel.. very depressed.. like every night when I'm all alone.. I want to cut souch, but I'm still trying to don't.. Also.. people are giving me these Sky Gifts.. say that I'm awesome person.. but it never helps when I'm like now.. Uh.. that's all for now.. I want to say sorry to myself if I will cut tonight.. [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Thu, 02/07/2015 23:22 (8 Years ago) |
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Umm.. ya, I had few worse days.. and.. now I don't remember anything.. so I won't write here everyday, just.. sometimes. Also.. I want to meet someone new.. it's always fun xD (you can add me on PH or Kik [KingOfBakas] if you want to talk to me :'3) And my dad came today <3 Um.. that's all.. see ya~ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 30/06/2015 00:29 (9 Years ago) |
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Meh.. just normal day xD Bad day .w. but-it's 30.06 now xD and omg Mika and Eryani just made me very happy <3 I wasn"t feeling it for a very long time.. thanks a lot to them <3 Uh.. well, see ya xD [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 28/06/2015 22:18 (9 Years ago) |
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Um.. it was some time after 1am.. I wrote to that person on Kik beacuse I don't wanted to be alone.. and we became friends xD her name is Nono uwu but I feel.. weird .w. a lot of popular and famous people are or were my friends (like Lighty_Luna, Char_The_Kawaii_Banana, Dude, Iskandar, Rini, MrMostacho..) .w. when I'm.. nobody xD just nothing, a single idiot from Poland .w. but meh xD I love these people uwu Um.. I woke up at 11am, and I couldn't fall asleep, so I just got up at 1pm and had normal morning xD After shower I fell asleep for like 40 minutes uwu Ya, and yesterday I decided to train every day at 11pm uwu I want to stop being fat xD and my dad will come back in this Friday <3 and I will do that Sprite and Banana Challenge xD and.. uh.. I feel worse with every day.. I just know I will cut soon.. but wow, I wasn't doing it very long time o.o heh, gj for me xD Ohh and my friend told me today that he was at the beach and he saw some hot girls owo and he said I must go with him tomorrow xD Ya, I will go, I want to get used to new people, and I want to help him get Girlfriend uwu So.. that's all xD See ya uwu [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sat, 27/06/2015 22:26 (9 Years ago) |
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Really? it's Saturday today? o.o Well.. I literally don't remember anything, so.. See ya~ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sat, 27/06/2015 00:42 (9 Years ago) |
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First free Friday <3 I was sleeping to 1pm xD I didn't eat breakfast <3 I didn't eat anything today xD Later I went to my mom's work and my mom gave me chocolate hearts <3 they were so yummy <3 Later I went outside xD And I bought a icecream and God's drink for me <3 Ya, that day was nice uwu I still want to cut tho. I was doing it like every Friday, in the night, but.. I promised I won't.. it's really hard tho. But I will try to don't cut uwu I'm strong enough And that's all I remember xD so.. see ya uwu [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Thu, 25/06/2015 23:58 (9 Years ago) |
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Today my school ended <3 Finally <33 Ya, when I came back to home, I fell asleep xD Later I was just playing, and I went outside uwu So.. it was my whole day .w. Good night~ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Wed, 24/06/2015 23:21 (9 Years ago) |
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Hm.. Like always, normal morning, after it I went to school, and.. on 2nd lesson (Geo) we went to other class o.o whole middle school was there o.o and teachers were yelling at me to sit near people </3 I get so f*ing scared and stressed, so I asked if I can go out to the toilet, but I went outside to calm down. Few minutes later one teacher came to me, and I called to my mom from that teacher's phone. When she came, I told her how I feel and we came to home. I fell asleep, and she went back to work. I was sleeping like.. 4 hours? When I woke up, I just started playing on pc xD I was playing till 11pm .w. Wow xD but from 10pm to 11pm I was just drawing (I will show that drawing here when I end it). Tomorrow is last day of school <3 Finally <33333 But I'm stressed a bit.. .w. Um.. that's all for today.. Good night~ uwu [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Wed, 24/06/2015 07:37 (9 Years ago) |
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So.. I wasn't sleeping whole night .w. I fell asleep after 6am, but I was sleeping only 3-4 hours. Um.. Later I still was trying to fall asleep, but I just couldn't. I was tired whole day </3 And.. um.. that's all I remember, so.. See ya~ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Mon, 22/06/2015 17:50 (9 Years ago) |
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So today.. I woke up early, and I didn't came to school late o.o But I felt bad whole day </3 I still feel like that, plus I'm tired beacuse of that medicine I took yesterday. I didn't had lessons in school, we were just sitting and talking, but some of us went helping, so I went help them later xD Um.. when I came from school, I was playing a bit and I ate dinner. But I still felt really bad, so I went to sleep xD Today I'm writing it earlier, beacuse I will go to sleep now xD So ya.. see ya uwu [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sun, 21/06/2015 21:47 (9 Years ago) |
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I don't remember anything again.. But now I feel bad, I was almost vomiting some time ago beacuse of stupid medicine, so.. Good night xD [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Sat, 20/06/2015 22:21 (9 Years ago) |
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Well.. I don't remember anything from today.. [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Fri, 19/06/2015 09:02 (9 Years ago) |
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Friday <3 So xD I didn't went to school <3 and I had Best Dream Ever *o* In this dream I was in Kye's home *^* with her *w* awe it was just awesome <3 Ya, I will end it later. I'm writing it nowwww xD In the morning I didn't had any dream again </3 so I just got up, and.. I had normal morning xD Later I was just playing on pc.. Oh and I got new Shiny <3 it's Shiny Furfrou and I named him "AngelsKiller" <3 later I went outside, but I got bored after hour, so I came back to home and I was watching anime xD I ended watching Kiss x Sis ® </3 and I started watching Free!® uwu Omg their bodies are so sexy o.o I think I will like this anime ouo Now is 1:30am, and.. I will go to sleep in like 5 hours xD and like every Friday; I will sleep naked uwu So.. that's all for now xD Bye uwu/ [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Thu, 18/06/2015 23:10 (9 Years ago) |
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Okay, so.. I had weird dream .w. She said she is in love with other guy </3 Morning was normal xD In school.. projects were boring uwu but before my I became little stressed .w. but it was fine xD After projrects next lesson was normal.. but after it I started feeling bad .w. My stupid tummy was hurting a little bit, I didn't know what was happening, and hallucinations.. I didn't know what was real and what was just hallucination. And.. they want to kill me :'3 I never thought I will have to hide from them. When I came to home, I got my new medicine on depression, and I just felt even worse, and I couldn't control my body, so I went to sleep. I was sleeping like 3 hours xD When I woke up I was just playing on pc uwu Now is night, 1am.. moment ago I got Blue Orb from Mystery box xD So, that's all I remember, and I will go to sleep soon, so.. Good night xD [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Wed, 17/06/2015 22:37 (9 Years ago) |
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Today.. in the morning I was almost vomiting and my tummy was hurting a bit xD so I didn't go to school <3 I was sleeping to 1pm xD Later I was just playing and watching videos on Youtube uwu Um.. Ya, that's.. all o.o And now I'm kinda scared beacuse of these hallucinations.. sometimes they are literally next to me or behind me.. and I'm kinda stressed beacuse tomorrow is that project's day in my school .w. So it was everything xD today I want to go to sleep earlier, so.. Good night uwu [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 16/06/2015 22:56 (9 Years ago) |
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First, I want me to remember one question- Would it matter if I died? (Answer is "No, it wouldn't") Like always, I woke up after 7am and stuff xD I almost went too late to school, but ya, almost xD Today I don't remember so much.. When I came back from school, I just fell asleep. I woke up after.. 6pm I guess xD After 8pm I went to new psychiatrist. I hate her but whatever xD I have to take new medicines and I have to go there after 2 weeks. And now.. I'm here. I don't remember more. So ya.. Bye xD ( [Read more] |
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Filip OFFLINE Forum Posts: 104 |
Posted: Tue, 16/06/2015 01:24 (9 Years ago) |
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Ya, today was Mondayyy <\3 I hate Mondays </3 After that 2am.. I just overreacted. I felt bad beacuse of that. And my Twin told me few things, and.. I hope she will forgive me it in the future. I came to home earlier beacuse I felt bad in school. In school I called to my mom and she told my brother to come and get me from school. When I came to home, I was listening to "Creepy pasta's" or something like that xD and I ate lunch. After it I went to sleep. I woke up after 9pm, and I started doing homework after 11pm. I ended hour later. I felt really awful, beacuse I wasn't feeling anything, any feeling.. I just wanted to cut myself again. Later I was talking with one of my best friends. I tried that "RolePlay" xD it was scary, but now I think it's fun uwu Now I'm going to sleep xD it's 3:25am so.. Good night uwu [Read more] |