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how much remorse does one have to show for me to be able to forgive them?

i know, i know. 'you should only accept someone's apology if you're ready to forgive them' and all but truly, i cant help asking that to myself. just how much remorse should you show for me to be able to forgive you? its scary how, the more you show remorse for your (past) actions, the more apathetic i grow towards you

i guess saying that meeting you was my worst mistake is giving you too much credit. because otherwise it wouldnt snowball to me meeting mio and faith. i shouldnt be alive past 16 but here i am.

i know our frontal lobes arent fully developed then but. m. that still doesnt excuse the things you did to me honestly. the hurt you gave to me.

and i hate that amidst my apathy for you now, i find myself still wishing the best for you and still have the slightest bit to forgive you. only slightly. please dont take me as a fool like you did then.

sure, meeting you gave me psychological torture (/hj), self-doubt and attachment issues in the long run. add gaslighting myself in the long laundry list as well why dont you? /lh

i hope this is the last time ill even think or talk negatively about you.

yippee yahoo yay /s dysphoria saying hi after 5-6 years of being happy and coming to terms with myself :')

its probably because im on Shark Week and it just amplifiesnit further but mh. still. gahah. ill never be the person i wish to be :'))

"the answer to dysphoria is transitioning!!!" unfortunately i live in a conservative country with conservative parents who blatantly told me theyd disown their own children if any of them come out as trans. i cant afford to get kicked out of uni when ive come this far (but really, its the academic victim in me speaking /lh)

all in all. i need to get something off my chest (literally)

i freely block, yes. i have a dni list for a reason. im a pretty chill person unless you do or support the usage of ai 'art'. if you dont do that and still find yourself blocked, id rather save myself the hassle and avoid a problem entirely

this isnt directed at anyone specific. dont go on a witch hunt on me for blocking when the block button exists for a reason. im simply utilising it for my own peace of mind so theres that.