Running System Diagnostics....
System Fully Operational...
"Good evening, Major. The date is August Seventeenth, Two-thousand
Ninety-six. You took a bullet to the neck twelve hours ago. We have
reenabled you with various technology. Take some time to grow used
Want a few small tips to help build a good German accent? Here's
First, 'Th' becomes a 'Z' or 'S'. "Thank you for this" --> "Sank
you for zis."
Second, 'W' becomes 'V'. "we will be going" --> "Ve vill be
Third, the accent makes several words "choppy" or abruptly ended.
"I need these big beds" --> "I needt zese bigk bedts."
To those wondering about the accent, hope this will help!
By Anniversary - 17 Hours and 9 Minutes ago.
You've been a member on PokéHeroes for more than 4 Years now!
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Why, I-... I-... Egads, I hadn't realized it had been that long
Ah! I caught the mischievous little terror! I now hold a grudge
against two places on this site; the Notification Wall and the
Furfrou Section of the mall.
Arrgh, I can't believe it!! Some idiot freed Hoopa, the legendary
Mischief Pokémon! I locked it inside of a treasure box so it would
never play pranks on anyone anymore - but now it's back on the
streets of Emera Town!
The_Blackguard_Empire! You need to help me catch it. The only way
to get control over it is to find all five Prison Rings. They are
small golden rings that are spread all around the town when Hoopa
is outside of its box. You have to find them all, please!
Sir, in my defense, I had a one in nine chance of opening that
specific box. I blame the person who runs the game.
Now, here in the Empire (and the distant past), we enjoy a
chocolaty drink we call "Frusta," which technically translates to
"fruity." However, there's a reason for that- Our Frusta has hints
of fruit in it, and each batch tastes different from another,
giving the drink tons of opportunities to please your taste buds!
In addition, it's a warm drink, which helps everybody on those cold
days. Remember to stay warm out there!
Time has ground to a halt in foreign affairs, but at last, the true
face of what may have been the Blackguard rises again.... Happy
"The sun may set on your life, but never thy eternal rule. The toil
of a life, set to rest for the pyre's dreary crackle. Forever will
you be known as not a warrior, nor a friend, but as a brother of my
own claws. A small yet powerful shadow, one to truly turn the
scales of the Everlasting. This is it, my dearest brethren. Our
Final Goodbye. In the heart of the Empire, thy Supreme Blade shall
be lodged in a stone, never to be lifted by the hands of another.
Here it shall remain, forevermore, until thy boots crush the Earth
once more, and thy remains stand to once more claim the Conqueror's
Blade, the Holy insignia of our Mighty Empire. Lay at rest, dear
brother. Let the pyre consume you, and gently carry you on towards
the Judgements, to face the scales and decide between the
Everlasting afterlife, or to walk again, reborn as a new soldier.
Fate's Hand shall guide thee, for thy quest is now thy own.
Brothers, let us bid our Last Farewell."
Just a small reminder that historically, the real Rasputin was
poisoned, shot over ten times, and thrown into a freezing river.
And then walked it all off.
Very rarely do we find a truly philosophical idea, though the
Blackguard does have a few favorites. "Do not be an echo, be a
voice." "Life is a cage, death is our key." "We only wait, for we
have something to wait for." "To die a fool is to have lived an
I know this might sound cliché, and I know that it's obviously very
much a repeated statement, but something here needs to be said.
Life is life. There's no changing that. Sometimes it's great,
sometimes you wish it were better. But sometimes, something changes
that you don't realize. Someone or something might appear and
change it all before you realize what's happened. It comes along
and turns your view of life inside out. And then it's gone, as if
it never happened. It happened to me, just last night. I did 4-H. I
had a swine project. And I only realized this at the very end, when
I said my final goodbye: I had grown more attached to a pig named
Hamlet in just a few months than my own mother in just under a
decade and a half of life. I wept for that pig, my pig, when I
realized that he was my best friend, and that his final meal by my
hand had been fed, and the final touch between the two of us was
Perhaps, before nabbing the chance to slaughter a people, one
should consider diplomacy. Unless, of course, one finds oneself as
the attacking force. Then one should consider first why one is
attacking, and then strategies to best eliminate what has enraged
one so greatly.
Times of war grind by on shattered wheels, forever demanding the
attention of a Ruler and Commander. However, even in such brutal
and demanding moments, a brief and critical break can and must be
taken. Today, we celebrate the Blackguardian holiday of
, roughly translating to "Victory Day." On that
note, a happy Vilisinfratz to the Blackguard Empire and our allies!
An army is only as great as the Commander is. If your Commander
isn't quick enough to act, or hesitates even a moment in battle,
you'll lose ten. If your Commander is weak in soul and heart and
takes pity on your opponent, you'll lose a hundred. And if your
Commander is simply incompetent, you'll lose thousands.
"Down South, below the earth, there lies a land of gold. Down
South, above the sky, lies halls of Heroes, Old. Down South,
between the two, there sits a fortress squat. Down South, between
the walls, there sits foolish lot. Down South, there lies the Lord,
the ones who call us low. Down South, our target sit, awaiting for
their coal. Down South, our oils light and glasses do explode. Down
South, our target lies, and we're not ones to let it go."
A troop's song, used for encouragement on long marches. The roots
of it are unknown, though most say it was an old folk song.
"Lying, crying, burning oil. We are warlords, you are soil. Cower,
cower, flee and fly, we'll not stop until you die. Send your
marchers send your dogs, we'll keep sending logs and logs. Burning
woods and scorching balls, flaming trees will breach your walls.
Bolts and arrows, swords and sparrows, ballistae call you to the
gallows. Battlefields your life may be, fear ensures our victory.
Lizards scream, speakers bleed, royals heed, dead men sleep. Lying,
crying, burning oil, we are warlords, you are soil."
A children's song, very common in the streets of the Capitol of our
As the rain washes over the hills, the charred grasslands start to
heal. Burnt villages and buildings can be seen for miles before the
mighty Blackguard Army. Be we were not the cause of it. These were
our villages. These were Imperial Farms, too. They've threatened
us. They were enraged by another kingdom, and struck quickly
without thinking... Or perhaps they weren't. The Army's Commanders
gather at the diamond head of the massive formation, muttering
quietly. After a few moments, they part ways and return to their
Divisions, dispatching an order: Formation, Change Direction:
North-Northwest, to the Barbarian Kingdom of Valice.
Nothing can compare to the feeling you get after warm relations
with your partner, using silly and cute names as you try to create
the best pick up line. To those that know, you know. To those that
don't, it's the most wonderful thing. It can make the rain seem
pleasant, make a rotten day better, fill a void you thought was
eternal. It's everything and nothing, all at once. Such a small
thing has such a great impact. It's terrifying, almost. How a
simple peck on the cheek can make the whole world shine like gold.
As the poll boxes were getting stolen, we've decided to simply hold
a gathering. Ask the Blackguard
just about anything!
Odd question, but alright.
"How do the Blackguard take showers?" Well, same as you. Wait for
it to rain, grab a sponge-