I hate being as alone as I am and have been for so long now. I hate how I'm never given enough attention. I hate how I never feel that I'm enough. I hate how I just feel broken from my thoughts. I hate how most of my feelings remain very perpetual.

I hate how my true self hinders on love I need, but don't have.

I've been thinking about how I want to say or put this...

But, I think the important part of change and people improving themselves doesn't just lie truly in themselves, but others around them as well. It doesn't really help in any regards to hold grudges against others, hate on them, and feel such disdain for them. I know personally I have quite the past/history here, and I definitely try my best to keep changing and to be someone better. However, it doesn't feel very welcoming with changes with one tries to make when people just want to keep seeing you fail and put you down just because you've shown bad or questionable behavior before. We should be letting others know that we are there for them if we truly are a community. We should be able to put our differences aside if one is trying to show that they are trying their best with wanting to change or be better. We all have our own problems, our moments, and we can make mistakes. We're all humans, we all matter and are equal.

Memes and trolling aside here, I love you all.

I know that we all have our moments, our ups and downs, and we all have our flaws and aren't perfect. But, at the end of the day we're all somebody, and we're only human. We all make this community what it is, and I know that everyone truly has at least some good in them and gives off positive energy in different ways. No matter how little or how much that is doesn't matter as all of it does matter. I know that we're all going to have problems, whether it's our own problems or with others. But, personally I'm still glad and happy to be apart of this community with the rest of you all. It is true that I haven't felt more welcomed and wanted around in any other community besides this one. It's a big reason why I stay more motivated than not to continue helping and try to give back to it, and to welcome everyone else as well. I just wanted to say thank you though, not only to friends, but to everyone alike. You guys are all amazing.

I've been thinking and just wanted to say something.

I've definitely have had been through plenty of battles with my demons, or so that's what we tend to call them. It's something that you can't really explain well and why it is what it is because we battle and we face depression due to them. Depression is just something we can't really explain well either. You see, the thing is we all go through these times at one point or another in our lives. We try to run, we try to escape it, but it always will haunt us and come back.

We all share this similar thing, and we all have our problems, but what sets us apart from one another are our experiences. Going through experiences are what makes us grow and learn. They're how we mature and age, and how we end up being who we ultimately may come to be. Sure, we can all try to be someone who we may want to truly be, but sometimes that takes having to go through an experience or two just to learn what we need to become better with ourselves.

Just wanted to say thanks for ever accepting someone like me PH

I'm very happy to say that I'm finally out of what felt was hell, and I'm really looking forward to a greater future now. I never want to go through what I put myself through again, nor should anyone else ever have to. Here's to a new chapter.