As i walk around the room pacing i await for someone. i look out
the window and nothing. i look out the door and nothing. i wait
within these 4 walls hoping he is ok. but i hear nothing else than
what i had heard earlier. feeling alone i sit in the corner rocking
myself back and forth telling myself "everything is going to be
ok"
side note - please do not write in this thread this is just for a
reading pleasure -
where do i start? he is the best PH brother in the whole entire
world to me. he has always been there when i am down. always there
when i need someone to talk to. he is amazing. always backing me up
and tells me when i am wrong. he is just too perfect. If i didnt
have him around i probably would have quit PH a long time ago.
makes me wish he was my blood. even though he isnt to me in my eyes
he is.
for years i have fought depression. when i started school as a mere
kindergartener i was called fat, Angela Anaconda, raindrop face,
etc. then when i got older i was called fat, ugly, etc. now i was
told yesterday that i was a sorry excuse of a mother. i had cried
all afternoon yesterday with no one checking on me or see if i was
ok or try to pick me up when i was down. i just don't know how much
longer i can take this. it is eating me alive. if it weren't for my
kids and for Ty being by my side all the time. i would not be here
if you know what i mean. so yeah i can't take it.