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I'm Feeling Lucky

Searching for: Posts from Waltz.
Posted: Sat, 15/10/2022 03:58 (1 Year ago)
i picked ghosts (:

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Posted: Sat, 09/04/2022 05:23 (1 Year ago)

頑張って よ !!

hoenn shinies:
treeko 2x
skitty x2

wailmer x2
spoink x2
spinda x2
cacnea x2

fun shinies:
-oricorio ballet

long term project ideas:
(while being less active)

-pichu hunt + gather narichu eggs
-sm galar ponyta
-heatran: 48/80
-shellos north

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Posted: Thu, 17/03/2022 20:53 (1 Year ago)

the obstacle is the way

know what's tiring? existing.
jokes aside, sometimes i don't know what to do with myself. i jump from one activity to the next, always keeping busy, drowning myself in things i genuinely care about, but then i'm not occupying myself for a few moments and it comes crashing down.
if there's a point, do we have to find it ourselves? why does nobody let us know beforehand?
probably normal to feel this way once in a while, especially after playing some somewhat existential games, but man.
Life's good, i'm very privileged, so why am i not enjoying myself?

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Posted: Thu, 05/08/2021 18:35 (2 Years ago)

blessed & possessed

☆make one sprite good enough for mega contest
☆gather more gamechips, get lugia vouchers $$$
☆get retro corsola somehow
☆make johto missing shiny list (include spares)
☆what hunt(s) could I torture myself with long-term?

johto missing shinies
-gligar x2
-swinub+piloswine x2
-tyrogue x??
(remaining are unown+legends)

cool hunts/projects
-shiny ho-oh: keep wondertrading like usual and hope for the best [passive]
-shiny celebi: focus on that damn tree more, don't neglect the bees [passive]
-shiny deoxys: long-winded shiny legend hunt, but daycare only [low-effort]
-shiny mega mewtwo: as above, but also way more painful since megas are fickle [low-effort]
-shiny retro koffing + lugia: from the burned tower rumble. come in eggs [passive]

-regular shiny mega hunts: [medium effort]
venusaur (45 grass, 45 poison) [easy to collect]
swampert (90 water) [hard to collect]
aggron (9 rock 9 steel) [fairly easy to collect]
gardevoir [not viable as a gem-supported hunt; daycare only]
claydol (27 ground 27 psychic) [hard to collect; daycare focus]
galarian rapidash (54 psychic gems) [not viable; daycare only]
mawile [not viable; daycare only]
(new megas after the contest?)

-event hunts: [medium effort; long]
shiny mega events in general (like obsidianix and mecha tyranitar e.g) [VERY long]
lilifleur (common!)
crystal aron
eternal flabebe

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Posted: Mon, 12/07/2021 17:45 (2 Years ago)

the dog days are over


once my stupid paper is finally done I'll have to join everyone in real life and I'm literally not ready for that. do you know how many unplayed games I have??

jokes aside, it's going to be a rough time again, looking for a new occupation is never fun. I've planned to take a trip down nostalgia lane once I've handed my thesis in, as in playing some old game from my childhood or early teens. I'm not sure what exactly, but I'm ready to break out my ps2 and my wii and stuff if needed. I have a feeling it might make me feel better and help me destress.
(funny thing is that I consider pokeheroes a fairly nostalgic game haha, but it doesn't really count.) I'm even prepared to blast some early 2010 songs or something. Just take a break from the current stuff I play and listen to at the moment.
I checked my old gaming logs in these memoirs but eh, I don't think they're old enough. maybe I'll even opt for a handheld game?? I hope my gameboy sp still works.

I'm playing way too much azur lane recently, it's super comforting. Having my secretary greet me every morning gives me life. there's few games that resonate so much with me, and I'm ashamed to admit that it's literally a mobile game for me. I guess I can't help it when there's animu waifus involved.

life is difficult, but look on the bright side: there's more loot on hard mode.

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Posted: Fri, 26/03/2021 12:33 (2 Years ago)

staff notation to last forever

I'm always really sad and tired recently. I thought the fasting would help, or improve me, but maybe I need to do it longer.
sometimes I think ph isn't doing me any good, people sometimes overshare and it usually makes me feel worse [given, nobody forces me to check the notification wall constantly]
leaving is sometimes on my mind, but wouldn't that leave a hole in my life? I don't have any other social thing. I don't mind being alone, I have a lot of time to play games, write, read and focus on my studies. I think sometimes I miss sharing the stuff I enjoy, I'm self-conscious about my hobbies. [maybe I should make a google doc, or start a diary, or something]

maybe I should just care less about the site. I keep worrying about ranklist placements, and I don't even know why. I don't feel like it matters as much to me anymore. what can you even do on here nowadays? shiny hunt, I guess. collect money for bigger shiny hunts. collect things. I'm out of the loop with the new pokemon games, so I don't have any strong feelings for the new pokemon releases on here.
I find it hard to care about anything nowadays. I try to get into games/movies/book series, but I don't feel as much as I used to.

soon I have to begin writing my bachelor thesis, I'm sure I won't have much time to feel this way once I'm actually busy.

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Posted: Sun, 07/03/2021 06:58 (2 Years ago)
eggos ★


oyster egg



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Posted: Thu, 14/05/2020 19:50 (3 Years ago)


[about inactiveness/future plans]
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hey. since I've started to play this game way less than I used to I found different methods to spill my thoughts, so I haven't been using the diary effectively.

This whole online class thing is a blessing and a curse at the same time, as probably a lot of others in the same position can attest to. I've been playing a lot of mobile games due to the actual lack of full free time, since they are more casual.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my own future, real life plans and all that. I'm not so sure anymore what I want to do later on, you know. I feel pretty bad about everything I do.

In short, I will put this diary on hold indefinitely. I don't think there's a lot to say about me or what I'm doing. maybe I'll be in a better place somewhere in time.

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Posted: Fri, 24/04/2020 08:00 (3 Years ago)


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noteable redesigns

so I finally checked out gxb2 BUT man I'm so sad that the game is pretty boring. The art is gorgeous, but it feels way less more strategic than gxb.

forget what I said about online classes ok. I hate it here and I wanna go to UNI right NOW

hnggghh SP Ennmaya,,,

y'all got any l i f e i could have

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Posted: Tue, 14/04/2020 14:14 (3 Years ago)

love psalm

☆the gaming list has been moved, brother Vincent

but we had a good run.

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Posted: Tue, 07/04/2020 16:45 (3 Years ago)


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edgeworth? def worth the edge. I'm only two chapters in but I'm already LOST <3
he's byakuyas dad

I'm doing such great progress with the games, but been neglecting that last paper thesis and?? now school starts in a week? haha,

detective games are ruining my life

I got so invested into my writing these days. I love world building, but man I am not good with words haha

*william and his samurai companions are getting drunk*
*princess leaves, disgusted/annoyed*
*william follows her* (drunk) "hey, where're you going?
"I can't stand the sight of samurai getting drunk."
"I-I ain't no samurai...!"
why does this make me laugh everytime I think about it

first online lesson was!! actually kinda nice!!! if it doesn't get worse!!! I'll like this a lot!

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Posted: Wed, 01/04/2020 06:00 (3 Years ago)

giving bad people good ideas

~one post left before the new games list~

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of my planned projects, there's only akibas beat and nioh left in the next three weeks. kinda hoping to manage, but both games are 40+ hours and nioh is challenging, on top of that.
who knows what will happen. everything is weird right now. I'm still doing my homework on the regular, but it doesn't feel like anymore. Like I'm doing it for nothing.
we might get video lessons, sorta kinda excited for it, especially if it's just gonna be videos I can watch whenever and not livestream like attendance events. but who knows. I'll have to write my last paper on the side, no matter how much additional homework I'll get. the available courses seem pretty interesting, allthough I' m sorta limited with choosing, since this should be my last semester. I needed some questions answered too, but now seems not a good time.
If everything eill be like normal, I'll only have class on monday and tuesday, but it's gonna be 3 masters, so a lot of work has to be involved. also kinda wondering about the presentations I'd have to do, I guess we'll do essays instead? I really hope they'll keeo the students up to date, this stuff is keeping me awake at night.
this whole pandemic thing is really something new. can't say I'm getting stir crazy, but going to school regularly would have been the favourable option.
I'm glad my games entertain me during these trying times, but i'm a little sad that I'm not reading as much anymore. time is flying at the moment, feels like I'm just sitting around for hours. Sometimes I'm tired of even having to be alive, but that's nothing new I guess.
Even when I'm doing something, I can't focus on it at all, I keep checking my phone all the time, even thought that was never an issue before.

finishing akibas beat in a week was a worthy challenge haha, I savoured it while rushing through it at the same time (although it was less rushing and more of removing myself out of real life and forgetting to eat and sleep)
might have broken some personal records there.
last project is nioh, but I'm fine with not finishing it in this break, I did enough. I really need to focus on my last paper, and on picking the subjects for the approaching semester.

"so that's what you're doing in your free time"
-someone, probably
here's me thinking I should go for 100% for the other three games, too

asahi - games
saki - traditional/country life
riyu - idols
yamato - anime, trading cards
kotomi - manga
reiji - computers
mizuki - ?????????? regular person?? yeah what IS he obsessed about? "oh you're still into that stuff (video games)"
you're 20 my guy chill out

I picked such a nice roster of games now, but I sorta forgot of some of the replay games I kinda wanted to do soonish (bloodborne true ending, fallout 4 institute ending and ffxv completionist run for example). Not sure if I'll just attack those somewhere in bewtween or if I'll wait more, simce both should be +40 hour projects I know akibas beat was as well, but I didn't really sleep at all that week
Don't even know how much time I'll have for any of that. Maybe I'll be late to loaded with work and my worrying amd wondering is obsolete.

the siren theme!!! in furi!! it sounds so amazing!!


that scene with the white dresses inside orochi freaked me out, tbh. I love the summer dresses, ngl, but the scene when homura walked into each of these illusions and her friends being there, possesed, with these empty glowing eyes... and then haruka as the boss, wielding these huge metal arms... idk I still remember it for some reason, it was the first time this franchise had creeped me out

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Posted: Wed, 18/03/2020 18:00 (3 Years ago)

tender sugar

reminder #7582952 that silent hill is over

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got zeta!!! from scam tree event!!!! only spend diamonds worth 100$ to get her
she's actually an agi girl so I will pair her up with cersei because I can

asuka x homura
yagyu x hibari
ikaruga x yomi
imu x miyabi

reminder that I voluntarily chose to go to university

I'm tired of existing.

tfw an awakening doesn't look better/hotter/cuter than the normal girl. like c'mon, I'll grind for two months so you could be less cute than before? shame. I felt that way with a girl before, but now I can't remember who haha. Now it's with zeta, cause I love her natural look, her awk looks more generic.

i'm sick and tired and I require nourishment
a new restaurant opened shortly before the pandemic and I am fuming about not being able to go there now

so every main person is a nerd of something yeah
if the green jacket glasses guy on the cover is a weapons enthusiast I will die

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Posted: Sun, 08/03/2020 07:00 (3 Years ago)


[wow actual ph related post]
sorta burning out. I need structure. project overview!! [25.3.20]

× the shadow radar is the bane of my existence. still, I really need more entries, so I should make note of at least trying to catch the shadows I still need.
-> shadow dex progression (kanto 148/151 bulbasaur, moltres, mewtwo | johto 78/127)

× I've already started collecting a few thundurus from the safari, but that game tires me out as well why aren't games fun anymore again
-> thundurus hunt pt2 (43 rocks | 2 eggs)

× since I don't care too much about the new mons I wanted to start working on the first shiny dex; it's going alright, but I can't say that I'm enjoying myself much.
-> kanto shiny dex progression (65/151 [give or take])

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Posted: Sun, 01/03/2020 18:00 (3 Years ago)


and you massacre my dreams at night

I feel like I'm back in the drivers seat again. I just have to keep working.

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gxb 7 days sign in are a new skin pack, and there's the secretary skin for edward and the summer breeze skin for joan. LOVE joan, and would def get it, but I have a skill skin for her already, so it would be a waste?? I'm still sad that I can't get both. Summer breeze looks super cute.

can't wait to make a new game post once the new semester starts. I have still some projects planned before that, and it's gonna be a huge chunk of games shaved off when I can do my coursework efficiently. I'm looking forward to my actual free time so much!!

yes please
I will
take all the soji
all of her

too much gameeeees
not enough timeee
why am I going to uni again?? instead of earning money and not having any homework??

day 612 of me crying about not having the ashley skin.
man since I'm constantly having to defend my place in the top 10 I'm trying my best to get new skins for already maxed girls, and in the current event there's the wind fairy skin for blowie and I'm just
so tempted.
so tempted to spend real money.
I use her everywhere, so it'd be an investment. but I also don't wanna continue feeding money into this game.
if I'm buying something it'll be that dummy thicc skin for yukimura because I like cheating.
seriously, that thing is unfair. no mana regen for the enemy girls PLUS magic resistance debuff? christ.
I so want the raphael skin too. also sign me up for the cersei skin.
muppets manjusaka is also cheating.
why do they only give out free cosmetic skins these days?? ah yeah, because wild girls future tech is now worth 49.99$.

hu ha
the semester break is close closing inon me, at least in terms of free time (aesthetic paper almost done, 70%, platon paper 40%, and we'll not talk about the language one)
since I still play game on the down low when I take a break, I might actually finish my planned list.
left: akibas beat, nioh
planned games after that: shadow of colossus, undertale, okami, ff7, dmc 5, hunnie pop

(˶‾᷄ །། ‾᷅˵)

I so not feel like correcting my essay, if it was me I'd just print it out like this and hand it on without a second glance, but man. I know there's lots of mistakes in there stil, stylistically and grammatically. I don't even know what to do about it. I don't want to look at it, but I have to hand this thing in tomorrow. I feel so stupid about it.

I started playing root letter, and it's actually pretty interesting, but all the reading I have to do for school turned me off reading in my free time. I don't know if I should completely delay this game, play something else instead or just force myself through this.

I run, I fall, what ripped away / check my body / was it body or soul?

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Posted: Sat, 11/01/2020 07:00 (3 Years ago)


give me reasons we should be complete

catching post jan-feb
/study season/

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I just hope I survive the remaining month of school unscathed. I'm so tired and want to stay home. With some luck my upcoming papers are interesting enough to quickly finish them up. I need at least two weeks of just lying on my bed in the fetal position

I'm on a wave of creative thoughts mixed with being really sad. My everything hurts.

I've started playing pokemon go again and man... I'm so far behind with everything. i hope the game makes me want to go outside more, I could really use that.

dang haruka is a really though opponent, I'm concerned about having to fight her with either yagyu or hibari, they're both not really up my alley, haha......... haruka reminds me of robin and I get so sad, I miss him so much

this is still one of the most iconic things I've ever written down
Quote from from one of the things I'm writing on"I can't tell what her code is, but she has loads of chakra," Kawa said with a frown, "she might grind poor Dou into chicken nuggets."

3,,, more weeks,,,,,,,,,,,,,

wooo I got the tea millet skin for elisa!!! I didn't want to level her up because I've obly heard bad things about her, but with the skin she might be useful.
sisha got an awakening, so I wanted to do her next, but a mid controller like elisa might be a bit better for now.

I want to so things but things are difficult and take timeeee

>people beefing on here
>haha they're both stupid, I don't care
>proceeds to oogle the notification wall for more tea

bad friken day. too much pain. one of these days where i'd rather kill myself than everyone else around me

ALRIGHT finally finished the hanzo ark in burst, now for the hebijo one. I've unlocked daidoji too, so I might either use her for the achievement cleanup or rin, when I'll unlock her after hebijo. I remember rin being super fun to play because she's insanely fast, but I love daidoji and she is mainly STRONG, so I could clean house super quickly.
I'd need to decide for one of them, as leveling both seems counterproductive (there's achievements for getting to level 50, maxing out yin and yang proficiency and probably the one for the burst mode.)
Not sure if I'd splurge on dlc characters, or just play the game with hikage?? I love her a lot but I don't remember her being easy to handle.
So for cleanup it's either hikage, daidoji, rin, asuka (because she handles alright and she's already on 20 haha), or homura (since she's the hebijo main she'll be about 20 too, and I love her fighting style).
I guess I really should play the second ark first |3

prototype2 was so fricking enjoyable man, the flying and jumping in this game are the bomb. The story and cinematics were super edgy but the gory, god of war finishers were just delicious. makes me want to play more just cause man.

silently ascending
heeding the universal call
the shadow cast is nearing its retreat
we are now in the time of the downfall

hahahah cute bois <3
digimon games are good for my soul
I can't remember his name but the blond dude in hudie, baby jesus I have such a weak spot for smooth talking womanizers
also ryuji? more like daddy's home
I keep forgetting his name m,, it chitose.
c h i t o s e <3

I seriously can't stop thinking about haruka being related to robin, it's driving me insane. Haruka is his insanity dialed up to 11 and I love it so much


like using vows girls in top floor is pretty scummy, but there's these couple few regular girls without an awakening that are plain scary and undefeatable even in the campaign. cersei is one of them, but I've seen less people use her in tf, she's better for bosses.
karaxes is one, but she's got an awk and is sx, so it's ok that her skills are basically cheating. Raphael too, but she's weak, even if her skill is op.
no I mean frickin liklis, froslass and zashiki. liklis is a javelin/shirley thing with crowd control/gravity powers on top. she's brutal in pvp.
frosslass does insane damage in the campaign, and I even have her, but I can't use her. it says she works with freeze/fossilize so maybe make a build with lily and nagia for her? she IS strong, I just have her on 3 stars and not on red.
and zashiki is the worst. she's super frail from what I've seen, but oh god, once her ult is released you can already pack in. she seems to be like a cersei for int girls, and int girls are a lot more destructive than agi girls. so she basically strengthens already killer girls and you have to either accept defeat or kill her before she can do anything.
I want zashiki, damn.
other girls I still really want:
revolver ocelot [sx] - agi girl for bosses
alice [sx] - cause she's just a plain, cool, deadly front str
giana [sx] - she hot
nia [sx] - awk does percentage based damage, good for bosses
camilla - she hot AND her ability is sorta like karaxes, she's super annoying to defeat so I need her
liklis - cheating B. she cheat (can you already tell she kicked my butt good)
zashiki - yeah like I said, cersei for int based girls, need, put in team with frosslass


main meat of this semester break are of course my seminar papers. I have to write three of them and my goal would be to finish all of them in mid march.
x[plat] death and dying in the apology
x[aest] can the grotesque be beautiful?
x[spra] linguistic relativism

( ノ ゚ー゚)ノ☀️ read
junji ito mangas
(gyo, uzumaki, tomie, fragments of horror)

wiss. magazine

( ノ ゚ー゚)ノ☀️ game
senran kagura burst
digimon cs hackers memory
prototype 2
talos principle
(try out) terraria
one of the visual novel type games
any other game that catches my fancy and isn't over-long (so >10 and 10-30 folders)

( ノ ゚ー゚)ノ☀️ misc
differently morphous
✨gxb comps
✨one of the otome type games

considered done

cersei skin
cersei skin

cersei skin

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Posted: Wed, 01/01/2020 12:00 (3 Years ago)


2019 highlights
-played a lot of really cool and iconic games
-started sorting out life more effectively
-shiny buzzwole!!
-shiny mega beedrill
-shiny mega garchomp

2020 goals
-continuing shiny kanto dex
-complete shadow kanto dex
-some shiny mega hunt
-get a LOAD of projects done (now with better sorting™)
-get 1k of all (current) favourite plushies
-train to speak more clearly and slowly
-don't procrastinate as much
-not die

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Posted: Wed, 18/12/2019 17:17 (3 Years ago)

walk man

you could raise the dead
with those terribly troublesome eyes


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finally survived last day of school
now please
game end me so I can be dead before 2020 starts

it's not that bad, really. There's also good things, but sometimes I wonder why I have to endure so much bad for a little good. I'm so tired. This is only university, how is the real world supposed to work out? I've got no clue how to continue at times. Having to work for a living is at odds with me just wanting to sleep and eat a lot.
I'm thankful that I have a 2 week break now, even if I got plenty of homework to keep me occupied. Having to leave my house every day is awfully straining for a homebody like me |'3

I probably have to start planning out resolutions at some point, and game/book/movie/etc projects for the coming year. There's so much content out there still that I need to see.

thank god for the tiddy

but you didn't have to cut me off
make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

I was feeling so numb all december, and got happy once I had my feelings came back. But now I'm so damn love sick all the time. What is this absolute bs. I can't think about anything else.
I have homework, you know.
This is terrible. I can't function like this.

yank yank
yeah I'm better, just waiting for the year to be over

what if they
cersei an awakening


"So I boned her." - Lei 2k19

no feelings for or against mira (don't have her) but I love that skin, looks really pretty

I would totally go for that skin if I didn't spend a fortune on the insect catching - skin already. I love annas design, I just wish I could use her in a comp haha

I got the
ennmaya wedding skin
fear me mortals

I got a lot of older skins during the christmas event now and plan to improve the girls that are already awk/blood awk so I can start building all new comps again. I'm doing alright in 1v1 but I could be better
Still suck at top floor though haha, I put in boxer now but I fear that without a skin she's not that useful. I love my sonya but I think she's not doing well on my team
current: [joan | boxer | blowie | lily | wild girl | tudu]

people on my server must be so weirded out that I'm still using joan haha, she's a low level girl and not that strong, but I've put so much work into her and her skin that I can't just let her sit on the side bench ok

I so not regret keeping the future tech skin, I didn't even max out wild girl but she's KILLING it, the amount of damage she does is insane, she's doing better at bosses than javelin even. Combined with cersei she's illegally powerful. not gonna put cersei on my main team, she scares me

would love to build an agi only team with cersei, but without a tank they'd die before reaching their ults. Maybe look for a good str tank? uhh [aegis, leona, scythe (heal??), vows girl??] so probably:
agi comp
tank, boxer, cersei, wild girl, agi mid, agi mid/rear
[javelin, pyra, saint, shirley, ...]

another team should work with stat afflictions, so I'm gonna put it around nagia, not sure who else as well, most other girls with these quirks are not maxed out yet. [cerberus]
affliction comp
[loki (fear), quinnie (poison/burn), lancelot (fear/burn), sonya (blind), ashley (daze)]

then a summon comp??
[psychic, selene, scythe, dracula, rhea, ...]
~tentative, contains sorta weakish girls

burst comp
(killer ults, con: weak defense, needs healer and tank)
tank, healer (buffer? :eyes:), aoe mid, aoe mid, aoe rear
[sapphire, ennmaya, ]

must use off the top of my head are
[(current main team), raphael, annie, nagia, cersei, sonya, sapphire, javelin, ennmaya, karaxes, ]
5 comps, 5 girls each + 5 pets for each team. 25 strongest/best working girls

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Posted: Sun, 01/12/2019 07:00 (4 Years ago)

advent calendar 2019

caw caw

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1 mega able ponyta
2 10x water gem
3 20x dream point
4 200x game chip
5 20x aspear berry
6 10x ground gem
7 3x pokeball
8 event egg tailluchi
9 event plushie
10 1x thunderstone
11 1x mystery box (dark blue)
12 christmas gift
13 5x pokeball
14 15x kelpsy berry
15 yamper
16 1x mystery box (light blue)
17 500x gc
18 1x water stone
19 1x mystery box (pink)
20 event plushie
21 1x icicle plate
22 rookidee
23 event plushie
24 one week premium

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Posted: Fri, 15/11/2019 17:00 (4 Years ago)


lord, you're so pretty / lying in my arms / I just got one request / stop breathing

feeling eh.
Don't feel like doing much, even with a full to-do list. Can't be bothered to play games or be productive. I wouldn't really say I'm miserable, I guess I'm more so numb to a lot of things these days. Not enough energy to be happy, sad or angry.
I just want to sleep for a couple months.

I hope the christmas season will help me pick myself up.

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I started watching yugioh and I really love it. I wish I'd watched it when I was young, it's great.

Feeling very... idle, if that makes sense. I don't want to move or talk or do anything, just sit and think.
Maybe I'm an insect and I'll be a cocoon soon. I can only hope the thing I'll hatch into is more productive.

this month is super horrible and I can't wait for it to end. I'm so sick of everything.

against all odds I pulled SP sonya in prayer tree, now i'm curious how powerful she is. I figure she's more of a brawler and less tanky than actual sonya, since her skilks vary wildly. I love my sonya but if the SP one is better........

after a long struggle with myself I finally finished borderlands 3. I don't know how to feel about it; I love the setting, the universe, the comedy and the characters, but I SUCK at fps games man. They numb me to the soul. My last session before finishing the game was only about 6h long, and after that I wasn't able to do anything. I was useless. Drained to the core. I'm kind glad there's barely any shooters left in my lineup now (can only think of danganronpa despair girls and gal gun rn).
I'm starving for an rpg. After darksiders I'll definitely plunge myself into something investment-heavy.
I want to feel something.

Since I'm not able to write 4 term papers in two months I had to abandon a subject I was breaking my leg to get into. I feel kinda bad about it, but I'm also relieved. It's way less pressure now.

do you ever regret a decision so much that you want to fold in into yourself? wow, you could use my regret to paint a house, christ.

red light-green light by limp bizkit is one of the catchiest, most fun songs I've ever listened to

there's this guy.
he's also in his 5th semester, we started philosophy in the same course back when. I had noticed him early on, because he often had thought-provoking questions to ask and a very peculiar voice.
Not as much pleasant, more distinct.
Since when I had at least one course with him each semester. I didn't really know how he looked or what his name was, but I knew he was there and it... comforted me.
This semester we're in multiple courses again, and (despite there being enough space in the room) he sat down directly besides me. I knew it was him, without even looking at him. I just have sort of a feel for him already.
We didn't talk, of course, just listened. I could hardly focus today, I kept thinking about talking to him after class, asking something a student would ask another, like what courses he would have after this one.
I couldn't. I'm too chicken to talk to anyone, so I left the room.
I think I might be in love with this guy. I dead curious about him. It's a weird, unusual feeling, especially after such a long time. It hurts that I have no idea if he's available, interested or even noticed me at all.
Liking someone is just the worst/best feeling.

I'm so sorry / I was blind

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