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1UP_STARBOI
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Forum Posts: 8

Posted: Sat, 26/04/2025 21:25 (28 Days ago)

Title: Asteroids passing by

But yeah anyways yeah and also turn my clown persona into reality. I have been obsessed with clown or circus type references since a young age. But now it gotten to a point where that now I really want to become a clown myself. But I know life wont let me do whatever I want. That's the second problem that keeps on hammering in my head.

I want to be prepared for life but I'm afraid that I probably might become one of these people that depend on the internet to get a certain reaction out or just be a complete a**hole and get canceled. The internet brings wonders yet a lot of possibilities that can determine what people think of you.

I want to present myself as just a silly goofy goober. Who just likes to share a little story that has been stuck in my mind for years without anyone to share it with. That's all really.

I want to be the big shot. The one that people will still speak after my death. But I know its going to take a lot of effort and patience. But I know Im going to make it. But not lose track in reality. You know?

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1UP_STARBOI
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Forum Posts: 8

Posted: Sat, 26/04/2025 21:04 (28 Days ago)

Title: Asteroids passing by

But yeah I just want to get out of school so I can be on with my life. Get a job in the medical field while taking a college course to increase my chance of maybe jetting what I want in life.

And that is getting myself a house in a forest, away from society and to persuade my other-interest. Like posting my art on Instagram. When in my free time and I have enough money then maybe start a little series with my oc. Like I am cooking up so intresting lore. But I have two problem.

Im afraid will still my idea which has happened before because one of my ex-friend he (trans btw but I don't know at this point) saw one of my oc and their outfit and LITERARY COPY AND PASTE but onto their oc...man I was so mad but that didn't stop me from giving my oc a little-upgrade. Now their better than before.

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1UP_STARBOI
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Forum Posts: 8

Posted: Sat, 26/04/2025 20:52 (28 Days ago)

Title: Asteroids passing by

Im back again. I'm bored because I don't have my phone. Got it taken because of my grades. Trying to fix them to my best of my abilities but they just keep getting more confuser and less willing to finish it because-whats the point of doing it if there's a possibility that it wouldn't help me in the future.

I just wish that I can just take the classes that I need for my career which I want to be a forensic pathologist or at least a mortuary assistant. Then when I received credit the for the classes then I don't know take classes for fun. Like Im taking theater and art but next year Im doing theater tech. To be honest I really want to do French or Latin because I think its a beautiful language to speak and one of my oc is half French himself and me not knowing only a couple words in French-its quite disappointing. I actually want to do health as well because I did took health during middle school when I was in a different state. But since I moved to the current state Im living in now, this middle school I went didnt have health. BECAUSE ITS POOR.

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1UP_STARBOI
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Forum Posts: 8

Posted: Sat, 26/04/2025 03:24 (29 Days ago)

Title: Asteroids passing by

Because I always find somewhat of a comfort when I arrive home after a long day of assignment and nonsense that my teachers will fill my numb brain.

But overall life is nothing but obstacles and illusion to keep you on your feet and ready to slave another day on the earth. Nothing isn't simple anymore and people are becoming more bolder and ruder by the day. Can't even sneeze without someone saying 'Ew' to you like you were some virus or something.

Life kinda sucks and humans are weird even though I'm part of this corrupted system.

That's all I have to say here.

Signing off for now, might come back. Who knows?

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1UP_STARBOI
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Forum Posts: 8

Posted: Sat, 26/04/2025 03:11 (29 Days ago)

Title: Asteroids passing by

It always make me feel like Im not good enough. Like I feel like I should do better or just stop all together. You know?

Humans are weird creatures you know that? All these emotions can do so much to the brain. I guess one of their disadvantages when it comes to values and dedication. Sometimes I hate having emotions. Sometimes I wish I could just, be something else than an emotional wreck. Then maybe life wouldnt be so sucky, yet when I do stop using my emotions then everyone thinks that Im sad or Im ignoring them when they try to speak to me.

I don't want to seem or come off rude but sometimes I just some break. I cant even come home without having to do something that will please someone.

Its so confusing and I don't know why it keep happening to me. When I look at other people, it look like they have everything under control. I cant even walk normally in public with the thought of someone looking at me or when Im even thinking about the concept of walking.

Do I have low confidence???

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1UP_STARBOI
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Forum Posts: 8

Posted: Sat, 26/04/2025 02:30 (29 Days ago)

Title: Asteroids passing by

But I do yet it never seems to be enough. So I ask myself, 'Why do you even try to please them? Why do you even try to keep on putting all of effort just for it to get step on and thrown away like trash?' It's a questions I ask myself every single day that two question. I could never seem to find a right answer that seem to sound right. Some people might say 'Because you are not a quitter.' or 'Because you are a stubborn Ace that's why.'

But I feel like a quitter sometimes. For example like when it comes to art its rather 'Should I finish it?' or 'Is it even good enough?'

And when I show my friends my result,they give their opinion on it. Sometimes it responds positively but most of the time its not really the response Im looking for. Like 'Oh it looks like Hazbin Hotel' or 'Oh that 's not how you draw hair'.

For one I have been drawing for years. Started drawing at the beginning of kindergarten and have developed time and perfection with some technique I picked up along the way.

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1UP_STARBOI
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Forum Posts: 8

Posted: Sat, 26/04/2025 02:08 (29 Days ago)

SO it has been like a year since I got back on this website. I only got on this website because at the time it was the only thing one of my dear friends can communicate through. Now things have been so quiet. Got my phone taken because of my grades. Which isn't entirely my fault to begin with. My biology teacher is out due to her pregnancy, the substitute isn't grading my work and giving me more and more assignments. My siblings are going through my stuff and touching things that aren't supposed to touch. Me misplacing things and forgetting where I put it at.

Life kinda sick

It's almost the end of the school year and I have to take my finals next week so I hope that will boost up my grades so I don't have to go to summer school. Which I never been to, because I always make good grades.

I know I can do better but the pressure from exception from people from different age ranges is like trying to impress your boss by trying to stay in line and get your work done on time. But I feel like everything I do, it seems to annoy people or seem I don't put effort in my work.

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1UP_STARBOI OFFLINE Forum Posts: 8	Posted: Sun, 24/12/2023 05:04 (1 Year ago)
	☆★ USERNAME. ACE_IS_NUMBER_1 ☆★ ★☆ PAYMENT. 40,0000 ★☆ [url=https://ibb.co/JRdCHpQ [Read more]

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