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I'm Feeling Lucky

Searching for: Posts from malyen.
Posted: Mon, 24/04/2023 15:52 (1 Year ago)
hey! welcome to my small corner of the forum page, dedicated to short stories and essays about my various ocs. please do not post here, thank you!
some fics will have major references to my rps, but i shall explain them all in the 'notes' sections <3


contents//fic statuses:
♡ the aftermath
♡ nails and knives
♡ pest control
♡ ignis [wip]
♡ joy at the end of the world [wip]
♡ VENOM [tba]
♡ and then the world came crashing down
cold and cruel
♡ confessions of a runaway lover [probably discontinued]
♡ blind freedom
♡ denial



deco credit:
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|F2U| Bottled Rose Divider by RariDecor on DV, |F2U| Pastel skies, pale flowers divider by RariDecor on DV, |F2U| Marigold Divider by RariDecor, '.' by tayleaf on DV.



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Posted: Fri, 21/04/2023 19:56 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates

"...they... Killed your sister, and your father?"

Idris shook their head. "Not my sister, no. But my father....I'm not sure. If Saeko...didn't stick their rat-face into my family's business, maybe things would've been better."


"...then... You'll die too. Do you want that too? And I know it's hard to think about, but... You both are people. With lives, and friends, and families, and dreams... I... Know they took so much from you, but, is this really worth it?"


"Yes. Yes it is. I don't have any dreams, no more family, no more friends. I don't care anymore." He scoffed. "And Saeko? Dreams, really?"

He sighed.

"You don't get it, Lucian. You just don't get it. Don't try to help. I know you're a therapist and all that, but I don't need another one."

Idris turned to face Lucian, a seething expression on his face.

"They all wind up dead anyways."



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Posted: Fri, 21/04/2023 06:04 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates

""...Idris... What... Exactly did they do?"
"...what could... Killing them solve?"


"Everything." He snapped. "They're the reason my life is f**ked up, the reason why I'm f**ked up. I hate them so goddamn much. Killing them wouldn't bring my dad, or my sister back, but it would make me feel a hell of a lot better about their deaths. It's all that rat's fault."

Idris scowled.



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Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 21:14 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates

"I don't want to talk about it Akari, and you sure as hell won't make me." He spat.

His eyes glistened with tears and there was a quiver in his voice.

He stared at the ground.

Was that...pain, in his eyes? Yeah, anger was still very prominent, but there was pain in his eyes.

"You're not gonna change my mind about the rat, but I won't kill them, if that makes you feel better." He scowled. "Hope you're happy with yourself, you know. They didn't deserve to walk the earth, not after what they've done and the lives lost because of them."

Idris sighed.

"I won't kill them, 'kay? You won, and all that bullcrap."

I won't kill them.

Yet.




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Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 19:38 (1 Year ago)
Saeko Katsumi

"O-okay...thank you so much Miyako." They went over to hug her. "I hope you're okay with hugs. Unlike...Idris. Ohmygawd....he goes crazy if you lay a finger on him." They shook.

"Be safe, okay? I hope he doesn't hurt you...

If it helps, he's either in his dorm or still with Lucian and Akari, near my dorm. You know where that is, right?"



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Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 19:21 (1 Year ago)
Saeko Katsumi




Their breaths came rapidly.

"H-he.." They sighed. "Ever since I knew him, he wasn't....right. None of his family was. I dunno what it was. But I was bored one night, met him, we became friends, y'know? Only knew him for a short while. Then I m-mixed with the wrong crowd, got into some trouble...and needed some money. It was a bad time. Anyways, I met his mother, who helped keep my troubles hush-hush if I paid her some money, okay? I was young, foolish, and scared, Miyako, you have to u-understand. His dad was a policeman, that's why it had to be Idris' mom. There weren't many policemen around where we lived, but enough for me to try and cover up stuff. It was a really rough town, I think that's what sent him 'round the bend, y'know? He was cooped up a lot, kinda sheltered. I always heard shouting coming from his house. Bloody murder, y'know? Loud. So loud. It was usually his voice...."

They shook.

"Y'know he was arrested. Suspicion of murdering his sister? He says he saw her fling herself off the old rickety bridge but I don't believe that for a moment. I never met her, but I saw her 'round town. She was a nice person, older than you and I. I think her name was...Reo? They did release him, eventually. Then a few months later...bam. Dead dad. Gruesome. Too much for me, so I left. I was...scared. Scared that he would come back for me, y'know? I was living on the streets back then, I was living with my grandparents before they died 'cus of a housefire. I didn't see him after that. 'Till he recognised me 'cus of my tattoo and name."

Saeko pointed at their tattoo. "Right there? The flames? He has one too..."

"I'm so...scared. Miyako, I think I'm gonna die here soon."



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Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 19:08 (1 Year ago)
Saeko Katsumi

"He- he....HE TRIED TO KILL ME, MIYAKO- H-HE HAD A KNIFE-" Saeko sobbed. "He...he was gonna gut me like a fish. T-that's what he said." Saeko's sobs grew louder. "Oh, Miyako, he's gonna kill me, he'll find me. He...he was drunk. Screaming like a madman. I think...he's gonna kill Akari. And Lucian. AND ME! He's gonna kill all of us, Miyako, you don't understand. I knew him since I was young. He's not right in the head, Miyako." They were in hysterics.

"H-he, blames me for everything. I never did a thing to hurt him, I tried to comfort him but he just screamed and threatened me and tried to kill me. H-he killed his father, you know. With an axe. Into i-itty bitty...pieces. He's...not right. He's gonna kill all of us Miyako. YOU'VE GOTTA STOP HIM, PLEASE-"




Idris Kallikrates

"I guess...you're right. Unfortunately."

He scowled.

"It wouldn't help....but it would make me feel a hell of a lot better.

You better tell that rat to watch out."

He turned around and stalked back to his dorm, empty bottle still in his hand.



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Posted: Thu, 20/04/2023 18:28 (1 Year ago)
Saeko Katsumi.




Tears ran down their face, eyes wide with fear.

They were sobbing and sobbing, eyes blurry with tears and snot dribbling down their face.

They ran and ran, running for their life and terrified to look back for the sole chance he was still there.

Saeko ran and ran until-

"OW!"

They bumped into someone.

"Miyako?"




Idris Kallikrates

"We can just... Talk about this, okay?"

"...what if I don't want to-" He slurred.

"Idris, stop."

"FINE, OKAY! IF YOU'RE SO GODDAMN DESPERATE FOR THAT WORTHLESS RAT TO NOT GET KILLED THEN FINE, I'LL STOP AND GO BACK TO MY ROOM AND MAYBE SLIT MY OWN THROAT. IS THAT BETTER? HUH? HUH?"

He clutched the knife.

"YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO TALK ABOUT IT, EVEN THOUGH I'VE LITERALLY JUST TRIED TO KILL THE PERSON WHO STARTED IT ALL? REALLY? HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA GO DOWN, EH? EH? LISTEN TO ME YOU GODDAMN IDIOTS. LISTEN TO ME-" His eyes looked crazed and there was blood on his lips. He swayed like a madman.



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Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 17:39 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates

He shuffled around, momentarily distracted by the sound of another voice.

Idris peered at Akari, swaying a little.

"Akari! Come to join...me?" He slurred. "Gutting this fish?" He turned around. "Where...where did they go?"

He groaned.

"I was...so close..."

"JESUS CHRIST MAN, GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!"

"Whaat? Nah...I'm fine...thanks....Akari..." He rubbed his face quickly. "I already planned to kill....Saeko....before getting drunk. Alcohol was just....added fun...I guess..."

He staggered forward.

"Now they're gone....thanks so much..."

He squinted. "You don't look...too good yourself....A-...what's your name again? Man....I'm forgetting why I'm here....maybe I drank-" He burped. "Too much....pardon me....heh.."

"Have some drink....makes your feel...better..." Idris handed Akari an empty bottle.

"...I'm gonna go find....Saeko....you joining?"

"...Akari is right. You don't have to do this. Can- can we talk about this?"

Another voice.

"Ughhh....what part of...no....do you understand...

None of you would...understand...why I have to do this....

...also won't tell you..."

He stepped forward, almost crashing to the floor.

"I should...get another bottle..."


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Posted: Sun, 16/04/2023 16:28 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates

now playing: clint eastwood -- gorillaz


I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on


He staggered out of his dorm, clutching Mei's knife in one hand and a bottle of unlabelled alcohol in the other. Idris's face looked gaunt, his eyelids almost shut. His hand kept raising to pour the drink into his mouth clumsily, as he swayed down the hallways. Was the hallway always this long? He ran sleeve along his burning mouth. He took another swig of drink and groaned, stopping to steady himself. Where was he going again? Oh yeah. Idris blinked rapidly as he reached his destination.

knock knock knock

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on


"Come iiiin!" A shrill voice called out. He winced at the noise. Idris stumbled into the dorm. "Bad...idea. Keeping your door open.... I mean..." His words were slurred and he seemed to have trouble focusing.


Finally someone let me out of my cage
Now time for me is nothin', 'cause I'm countin' no age
Now I couldn't be there, now you shouldn't be scared


"...was...there always two of you.... S...aeko?"
Idris pointed at them with the knife.

Saeko stiffened. "Sh-... Idris? What...what are you doing?" They laughed nervously. "You might cause an accident with that...knife."

"I assure you...that anything I do...with the knife is never an...accident." Idris burped audibly.

Saeko wrinkled their nose. "Ew. Also, I thought you avoided alcohol...'cause of what... y'know-" They suddenly looked ashamed.

I'm good at repairs, and I'm under each snare
Intangible (ah y'all), bet you didn't think
So I command you to, panoramic view (you)
Look, I'll make it all manageable
Pick and choose, sit and lose all you different crews
Chicks and dudes, who you think is really kicking tunes?


"The past is the past....y'know? I don't want it on my mind anymore...gotta forget...somehow." He gestured to the bottle as he took another swig. Idris sighed.

"Always wonder how my dear....dear....old mother... managed it, y'know? How beating me unconscious...was never on her mind. How...her son's blood on those...those...wrinkled fingers...how she never cared..." He took another swig. "I found the answer! Works very well...for both of us, I guess. But you and I know where she got the money for said...alcohol, right?"

Saeko didn't speak.

"See...I wanna forget the past...I wanna move on, with the help of a few more bottles of this stuff." He burped again. "But to forget it...I need to deal with it...y'know? That's where this thing comes in." Idris pointed the knife at them. "And hence my arrival here."

He started to grin, a wide, twisted grin which filled Saeko with a foul sense of dread.

"I hate you. Saeko Katsumi, I hate you. You're...responsible for all the worst things...that have happened to me. That's why I have to kill you." He stepped forward.


Saeko screamed. It was an unusual sound, not human nor animal, birthed from fresh terror and the sound of something which has never known fear. It was the sound of something which knew that their days were over and it was the shrill shriek of something which knew that death was now inevitable.

Picture you getting down in a picture tube
Like you lit the fuse, you think it's fictional? Mystical? Maybe
Spiritual hero who appears on you to clear your view
When you're too crazy


Idris hummed the Jaws theme tune under his breath. "Dun dun...dun dun...dununununununu- DUN!" He lunged.

Another scream.

Idris snorted. "You think I'd kill you that quickly? Pfft-" He took another swig of alcohol. "You're funny, Saeko. But not funny enough to survive..." He raised a hand to his temple. "Oh god...I'm so drunk.." He sighed. "I'll regret this in the morning. Drinking, I mean. Not the part where I kill you and sing along to those annoying-ly shrill screams of yours...ugh."

Saeko whimpered. Their eyes darted around, desperately looking for a way to escape.

"How's your nose...by the way? Bad? Good. Maybe I'll break another bone before...slitting your throat."

Saeko touched their neck briefly, then whimpered again. Unfortunately they were in no position to grab their own knife, which lay in a drawer on the other side of the room, which Idris conveniently blocked.

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future is coming on


"I'm not stupid...Saeko." Idris muttered, stumbling closer. "Yeah, I'm drunk, but not enough for me to notice that you keep staring at that drawer...over there. What's there? Weapon? Knife perhaps? Matchsticks? Oh how I know you love a good old fire...right? You're gonna make me go the same way as-"

"NO!" Saeko yelled. "IF YOU SAY ANYTHING, I SWEARRRR TO GAWD I'LL TELL EVERYONE YOUR SECRET. EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. I'LL TELL THEM EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME. PATHETIC, ISN'T IT? PATHETIC THAT EVEN THOUGH YOU LOVED THAT WEIRDO MEI YOU COULDN'T EVEN-"

" SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Idris roared." SHUT UP OTHERWISE I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT AFRAID OF A LITTLE BLOOD, SAEKO. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW. "

Saeko's eyes widened as the cold metal of the knife blade scratched their neck. A small tear splashed in onto the handle. They could see their terrified reflection, reflected back in the teardrop.

They opened their mouth to scream but-

"No one.... will come and save you...not after I tell them what you've done. Nobody cares...about you. Katsumi."

With a high pitched shriek, Saeko pushed past Idris.

"HELP, PLEASE! PLEASE, SOMEONE, HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!"

"...shut the hell up...otherwise I'll cut your tongue out first. Can't beg for mercy when your bloody tongue is laying on the floor...right?" Idris chugged the rest of the bottle.

The tip of the knife danced across the skin on Saeko's neck.

They suddenly froze, holding their breath and scrunching their eyes shut.

"Hoping I'll make it quick? Aww...how...how...pathetic. Spineless rat." He spat.

"Hmm...I wonder. What should I carve first. Your.....face, perhaps?"

The knife dug into Saeko's skin.

A small, crimson teardrop ran down their face.

"I'm going to have fun with this."

I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine in a bag
I'm useless but not for long
The future (that's right) is coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on
It's coming on, it's coming on




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Posted: Fri, 14/04/2023 20:28 (1 Year ago)
[bbcode wip]

He grinned. "That sounds better than my idea! Dunno how you do it, but damn. I'm ready for lore!"

post wip until my phone charges more sorry lol

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Posted: Thu, 13/04/2023 20:32 (1 Year ago)
rez

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Posted: Tue, 11/04/2023 17:03 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates

"But I... I think it seemed pretty clear you liked her, too. And... She... She scared me, so I-- kept my distance- and--"

"....

...yeah. i guess i do

she was kinda...weird...when i first met her

...she still is weird though...heh..."

That... Conversation we had. Not too long ago. You- didn't hear it, but I don't feel right. About all the things I said to her. Oh, Idris, I... She should hate me. You should hate me."



who says i don't already?

she didn't deserve to die

i don't care if she was a murderer, she did what she had to do

all of you are weak and pathetic and couldn't kill so mei had to do what she did

if only one of you grew a backbone and had some common sense mei wouldn't be dead

i wish you all died instead




"...i don't....and i won't...cuz that's all in the past, right? Right?"

"She made me feel... Like a horrible person, and I took it o-out on her and it really wasn't her fault and I-"

...

"If it wasn't for my own biases, maybe we could have been friends. She... She had good in her, too, didn't she?..."


"Yeah."



more good than the rest of you spineless rats

i wish you were dead

i wish you were all dead


"I'm the worst. I- I'm so selfish. It's so stupid. I thought... Y-you'd be... The only one who could understand and I-"

...

"I don't- know what I'm saying. I'm... I'm sorry."

....

"She's gone... And I regret everything..."


Tears welled up in his eyes.

she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not she's not

. . .

dead




"But... Are you okay? How are you holding up? I've just been talking about me this entire time and I..."

"I'm doin' juuuust fiine, Darcy." He scowled. "How the hell do you think I'm doing? You found me, passed out in the shower. Fully clothed as well. That doesn't sound like a person who's doing okay." Idris spat.

"And I'm dumping all this on you, even now. I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..."

"I just....ugh. I can't deal with this. I just-

Why.

Why did she have to die?"


why couldn't it...

...why couldn't it...

...have been you




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Posted: Wed, 05/04/2023 18:53 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates




"...Mei?

Why? ....she's...dead-

We can't change that.

Talking about her won't change that, won't make any of us feel better.

Is this why you came here, Darcy? To talk about....M-Mei?"

He sighed, running a hand through damp hair.

"...are you okay, Darcy?"

His eyes narrowed.

"Is this all about Mei, or is it something else?

Darcy?"

His hand reached out to comfort him but then recoiled at the thought of-

Idris' fingers began to shake.

"...I wonder what she'd say now, seeing us in this state..."



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Posted: Sat, 01/04/2023 19:14 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates



Idris, can you hear me? Idris!

Idris! Idris!

Idris!

Idris...can you hear me? Idris!


Darcy's voice sounded muffled and distorted.

Idris!

Then there was the cold splashes of water on his face.

Dammit.

The shower was still on?

How-

Oh.

He must've collapsed in the shower.

...how embarrassing.

His eyes opened slowly, black irises glaring at his surroundings.

"...Darcy? Why....huh?"



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Posted: Thu, 30/03/2023 21:19 (1 Year ago)
Kaden Sorrows

"Hey!" He grinned.

"I was kinda bored back in my dorm, I hope you don't mind me comin' in, I don't have much to do, to be honest." Kaden smiled sheepishly.

"Wanna do some tomfoolery?"

"I don't really have any ideas buuut....I'm dying to cause chaos. C'monnn-"



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Posted: Thu, 30/03/2023 20:54 (1 Year ago)
bbcode stolen by my sleep paralysis demons i'll edit it in later grr

[kaden]

His dorm felt quiet, cramped, and lonely. He hated it. Kaden sighed and walked out, scowling at the padded walls and rounded edges. He'd speak with the Headmaster about this. There was no need for....that.

Kaden trudged down the hallways, searching for...

Which dorm was it again?

Oh, yeah.

He knocked on a door.

"Jackie? You in there?"




[lin]

"Sounds good! Maybe follow that hallway until we see a sign?" She asked. "Our dorm is-" Lin frowned. "Ummm...something. I'll know when I find it! C'mon!"

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Posted: Wed, 29/03/2023 21:44 (1 Year ago)
a land far away

now playing: idlewild - travis

Once upon a row of houses

Tight skirts and baggy trousers

Grey men in cheap disguises

High hopes and higher rises

Here lived a girl who was on a mission

Here lived a boy who was under suspicion

Tried hard to stay beside her


He sat, knees touching his forehead and his head hung low. The cool spray of the shower soaked his hoodie and ran down his face, adding to the several tears as he sobbed quietly.


How?

You know how

Sleep too long and the sand runs out

So close to midnight

Time to fly

Do or die

Stung in the headlights


It was like history was repeating himself. Every time he got close to someone they always went away. Never came back. Never heard a final goodbye.

Here we lie

High and dry

The world will never see you 'till you open your eyes

Say goodnight

Kill the light

The world will never hear you tonight

Idlewild


He closed his eyes, wishing it would just go all away and it would stop here.

This was all just one....huge....terrible dream...right?

RIGHT?

RI-



For two years he tried to reach her

Worshiped the ground beneath her

She, she was always running

He, he saw the end was coming


He rubbed his eyes angrily, water dripping off the ends of his hair.


But now the story takes a turn

She wakes up and her sheets are burning

Head down against the fire

Now, now, now the table turns


The tears had dried up as quickly as they fell.

He just felt so

so

so

angry.

At everyone and everything.

"..I thought that we were good together
I thought that we could weather the weather
Whether or not that wise is the word for us
That high hopes are only there because, because
Because I thought the only thing between us
Was something shallow, not a river so deep, we see it's
Dredge up the wreckage our parents left us
Lay it on the banks to rot and fester...
...Now a skeleton hanging like a death star
And grim and green in dark Manchester
I don't want to hear it now..."

His head lolled back and forth, eyes closed, fingers shaking.

"...miss you already..."

"...Here we lie
High and dry
The world will never see you 'till you open your eyes
Say goodnight, kill the light
The world will never hear you tonight...

not tonight and not ever

i'm so sorry

i'm so

so

sorry.

i could've done so much more

i could've prevented everything

i'm

so

s-

....."

The water kept on falling, and Idris' hand fell away from his head.



Idlewild

Idlewild

Kill the light

Idlewild

Kill the light

Idlewild


why's the world spinning?



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Posted: Tue, 28/03/2023 15:43 (1 Year ago)



ılı.lıllılı.ıllı.

ᴺᵒʷ ᵖˡᵃʸᶦⁿᵍ;[Alien Blues - Vundabar]

1:07 ——◦———— -4:14

↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯

Was it the best you ever had?
Was it the worst? You'd never know
I try to tell you what I think and play it off like it's a joke
Oh no, more surprises, guess it's like this
I'd do anything for you, Mrs. Highness



Idris Kallikrates

Username: alexiis

Character Age: 18 [14th February]

Personality: Idris is a calm and collected individual, with a sharp tongue and a lot of wit. He's quick to anger at the slightest thing. He hates socialising and prefers to become a simple hermit and hide in a dark corner when needed. Idris dislikes physical contact. He's harsh and rude to everyone he meets, worrying that they'd see him as weak and pathetic if he's nice to them. Idris has severe anxiety issues and prefers to distance himself from everyone.

Likes/Dislikes:

Idris likes solitude and quiet dark spaces. He dislikes crowds, conversations and harsh lights.

Appearance: Idris has quite pale skin, small, porcelain features and pale lips. Messy, black hair dangles in front of his almost-black eyes. A small black tattoo in the shape of a teardrop is visible under his right eyelid. Idris has several golden piercings in his right ear. He often wears baggy hoodies in all shades of grey and black (rarely sporting brightly-coloured clothes), with a black turtleneck underneath, ripped jeans and checked trainers. Idris wears small silver rings on his fingers, with several precious stones embedded inside them.

Gender | Sexuality Male [he/him] Heteromantic Asexual

Backstory (Optional, but recommended): tba

Reference Image (Optional, but recommended): x

Password (Found in the Rules): Elysium

Other:



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Posted: Sun, 26/03/2023 01:15 (1 Year ago)
Idris Kallikrates

It was risky, voting someone he didn't know and having know idea of their role.

Oh well.

At least it wasn't himself dying, eh?

The votes were aimed at Ayran, but Idris decided to not go with the majority. He wanted to tie the votes...somehow.

Paiyoon Ji.

Maybe no one had to die tonight.



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