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I'm Feeling Lucky
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE   Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Sat, 02/03/2024 04:54 (6 Months ago) |
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Warning! The last two paragraphs may be triggering due to mention of gore and physical violence. Breaking Point [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Fri, 01/03/2024 17:00 (6 Months ago) |
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Well. Apparently, I went overboard while having fun embarrassing my brother-in-law. His friend came into my room at 2 in the morning, asking if I still wanted to do something I never even remotely implied aside from the excessive comments toward everyone. He proceeded to try to beg me to get up to play games with him because he was bored, couldn't sleep, and was the only one awake. I took the first chance I got to head into dad's room and told him what happened. Then spent the next six hours trying to sleep in dad's room in a ball of nausea and anxiety. Surely, even if the misunderstanding is cleared up, the friend won't be allowed back. What kind of guest in a stranger's house just up and goes into another person's room and wakes them up at 2 in the morning out of boredom? Edit: So... Nothing is being said because I was hinting that I wanted it to happen by my joking. And because his cognitive abilities were impaired. But the cause of the behavior last night is being addressed. With if they want to impair themselves like that again, they must sleep at the apartments. This guy has a girlfriend, too, but yes. Let's sweep this incident under the rug. I got lucky, but next person might not. /s [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Fri, 01/03/2024 00:04 (6 Months ago) |
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Found two Stickers. Found and Took Exit. Found Sticker. Found and Ignored Exit. Found Last Sticker. I couldn't find Exit again in time. I could have done it had I not had to deal with a potential renter wanting an application. :( Oh well. Only missed out on 25. And life comes first. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Thu, 29/02/2024 17:19 (7 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Thu, 29/02/2024 17:19 (7 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Thu, 29/02/2024 17:19 (7 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Thu, 29/02/2024 17:12 (7 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Wed, 28/02/2024 22:18 (7 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Wed, 28/02/2024 01:49 (7 Months ago) |
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Found one. Based on Journal content, I am 99% certain they are not only one of the four I have blocked on PFQ but the one I have the worst stress and anxiety over. I'm currently shaking and nauseous now that I know this person is in what I consider one of my safest places. Yes, even with those who stalk my Journal and Feeds. Because I feel seen and heard here. Now, to figure out how to use CSS to remove feeds and comments from individuals. Or better yet, erase them from existence as best as possible. Even if not 100% blocked, it would go a long way to help me feel safe until a viable block feature is implemented here. Seriously, though? How many people's mental/emotional health must be severely damaged before a full block is implemented? [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Tue, 27/02/2024 23:42 (7 Months ago) |
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My vent group learned of this about a month ago and was upset. They told me there was a difference between being handed an unlocked device and having access to that device at all times. Your partner or parent should trust that you would come to them if there were a problem or that you wouldn't do anything seen as a betrayal. As someone who doesn't like having conversations unless I have the energy to do so or being touched even in a hug unless I initiate or am asked and given permission, I understood this. My terms and privacy do not equate to hiding something, and I'm entitled to my personal, private space where I can relax, breathe, and feel safe. I'm in the process of making efforts to better myself. We finally found someone to fix our apartments, so I will have a guaranteed income of close to $10k a month for the rest of my life. All I have to do is show more initiative and responsibility, though I still plan on applying for a job at my local library when it reopens in its new location and bigger building this fall. Tired of feeling and being told I'm worthless, so I want to make something more of myself. It's not much, but it's progress. By the end of this year, I hope to be capable of taking the next big step and living on my own. Not likely, but *shrugs* we'll see. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Tue, 27/02/2024 00:42 (7 Months ago) |
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Oh! In addition to gifting you with my lovely presence again, I present: Jasmine with a tongue blep from being caught cleaning herself. <3  Currently having so much fun watching Neil (Astarion) play BG3. OMG. I don't know who's with him, but these two are hilarious. And Neil freaked out the cutest way when he found some Charming Little Egg on top of Last Light Inn. I'm still in the Creche, so they're in areas I've not been to yet, but I'm having fun watching them. You know. I thought myself smart for learning how to code the basics of CSS for Templates and Abouts on PFQ (Even though there are still many basics I don't know yet). But combining it with HTML to build a website is a whole 'nother level of knowledge that I'm not entirely sure I'm capable of absorbing. Having a friend code two specific things for it that neither dad nor I have figured out how to do. Reading the how-to's on CSS doesn't help me. I'm a combination of the learning techniques. I can teach myself if I can play around with the code instead of just seeing it. At least, though, I'm able to teach myself. I might never deal with the hundreds of thousands to billions of lines of code that Gaming Programmers do, but at least I'm among the Coders who can learn from their mistakes. For if I stumble across something really stubborn. I'll write down what the problem was and how I fixed it just in case I come across it again in the future. ^.^ [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Mon, 26/02/2024 07:20 (7 Months ago) |
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I think I'll focus on Final Fantasy 16 for Streams since I really seem to like that one the most of the FFs I've played so far, and Baldur's Gate 3 for fun. Know that I should focus on ones other people like watching if I want to grow my channel, but I want to do what makes me happy. Spent so many years doing things to please and seek others approval. Finally living for myself now, and I feel so much better. SakuraWolf23 on Twitch M/W/F nights at 5.30-7.30 pm PST [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Sat, 24/02/2024 06:41 (7 Months ago) |
  I can't believe the Sylveon Pokéball took me half an hour. But I did accidentally learn how to blend colors with the dropper, so not a complete waste of time. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Sat, 24/02/2024 00:16 (7 Months ago) |
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What the heck? Lmao. Arceus! I wish I was this popular in High School. This honestly brightened my day! ^.^ 
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Sun, 24/12/2023 19:27 (9 Months ago) |
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First. I'm thankful Tumblr has the option of not letting people see more than a few posts if they don't have an account. It's prevented me from seeing most of what goes on, aside from my ex friend. I'll no longer tolerate drama starters or pot stirrers. Second. I've decided that based on judgement from all ends, I need to suffer with this alone. That also means removing myself from this place that has continuously allowed things to get this far out off control. I contemplated doing something to get myself banned, but if I ever wanted to return one day, I wouldn't be able to be a Mod then. The option of not logging in has obviously not worked. Therefore, I will be mashing my password, and unable to log in. In 6 months to a year, I will consider returning. Right now, my focus MUST be on my mental health and learning how to keep my mouth shut, even when I get angry. Like one of my friends said. "There is never an excuse to justify hurting another human being." And right now, i see myself becoming the monster these people are, and I want no part of it. Contact me on Pokefarm Q or Discord as SakuraWolf23. Or find me on Facebook as Samantha Bishop (Rhoslyn Razora). Note that just because I give this info out does not give you the right to come at me with hate. I'm doing this because these are the best places to contact me, and I simply can't be here anymore. My departure doesn't mean you've won by any means, though. People like you will always be the losers in life. I'm sorry, Zeraora. I really wanted a Shiny of you, but I'll hunt you on Pokefarm to make up for it. I'm sorry, Shadow Articuno. Maybe your elusiveness can be interpreted as the me I want to be that's just out of reach, and when I find who I am, I'll find you. Farewell. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Sun, 24/12/2023 05:47 (9 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Fri, 22/12/2023 23:00 (9 Months ago) |
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I have a few users added to my Blocklist on PokeFarm Q. The QoL is set to Anonymize and Remove. This removed the people from Clickbacks and Jumps. But I could still see Someone => 1 in Today's Interactions. I spent a few hours trying, but all I could figure out with CSS was how to remove their name. The Hypermode Icon, => 1, and the box was still there. So, since dad couldn't figure it out either, and Google wasn't helpful, I asked someone. li:has([href='/user/Name']) {display: none;} Replace Name with the FULL name of the user. This way, putting Wolf in there won't remove ALL users with Wolf in their name. Now, these people are completely out of sight, out of mind. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Fri, 22/12/2023 04:02 (9 Months ago) |
Title: Art QuestionsI was recently attacked for "art theft". It's kind of true. One of my OCs is a Keshiri from Star Wars, so her skin is lavender. Which you don't find often at all. So, when I saw a picture I liked (I made sure it wasn't a comm), I edited it to be purple. Nobody in the RP community ever told me that was wrong. In fact, most of them would do eye and hair edits or photoshop blasters and lightsabers in to any piece of art they found. Well, I got to thinking about it and realized that if AI is art theft, then this kind of was, too. So I decided that I would try to draw my OCs. Or comm them by offering in game currency because I am not allowed to spend what little money I get a month on “wasteful wants”. I understand that artists struggle for money. But I also know that there are many artists who work with people who can’t afford commissions by offering payment plans or other exchanges. Yet I’m now being attacked for offering in-game currency when it’s all I have and being called a liar when I say I can’t afford it. I have received no messages explaining how offering in-game currency was also wrong. Yet again, an instant attack on me. How am I supposed to fix my mistakes if I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t? The second question is: How many of you would be interested in in game currency for art? Preferably games I'm more active in that you also play. I know I find currency easy to make in most games that I play, but I know others struggle to earn even a small amount. So I figured offering igc would actually be a smart idea. Third. Can someone explain to me Bases? I found this one person on Facebook selling usage to a base with 200+ add-ons for $16. And I wanted to know…How easy is it to put the pieces together? Like. Is it basic digital art knowledge? Or advanced? Would I own the characters I made from it? Or would the owner since in this case, I’m just purchasing rights to the base and not an actual base itself? [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Wed, 20/12/2023 04:16 (9 Months ago) |
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I've even chosen to activate a year's worth of Hypermode on PFQ, which means I've gotten to the point I'm able to move past the toxicity and stuff. I'm even trying to figure out how to completely remove Someone from my clickbacks. I've got Block QoL on and set to remove profiles, but Someone still shows up in the Clickback page. I've managed to remove the link completely, but can't figure out how to remove the => 1. Just removing the name has helped some, but I'd really rather it not be there at all. Even if it means having to remove all the click list because if I can still interact without seeing names, I'd be good with that. I've got an appointment on the 26th, and I'm going to talk about getting tested for Mental Issues, and hopefully get on the proper medication for them. Won't even consider Therapy because thanks to the blog people, i always feel like everyone's judging me for anything and everything I say and do. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to doubt yourself even when you know you're making progress in the right direction. I'm also looking for people who can do commissions for me, but it would have to be with in game currency because I can't afford money. But contact me on Discord or PFQ if you'd like to take me up on that offer. Can be for other games than PokeHeroes or Pokefarm Q. I'll be making a list of games I regularly play soon and including it in my About Me on PFQ. I'll be going through Angel of the Shadows soon and giving chapters a final polishing now that I have Grammarly Premium. Once I do that, I'll work on a chapter or two. I've also decided to only post on Archive of our Own and Wattpad, as those seem the most popular sites for people to choose. Also on my Facebook author page. Right now, I can't think of anything more to say, except again. Thank you to everyone who has stood beside, encouraged, and supported me. Even when you didn't agree with me. I'm now 33 years old [birthday three days ago], and still fighting to live. It's because of those who have shown me kindness or those who say my tenacity inspired them. You'll never know just how much those words meant to me. <3 I wish you luck and strength in your own struggles. And I wish those who live to hurt others peace, joy, happiness, and everything they don't have that makes them act like this. One day, you'll look back and regret everything. I only hope it's not too late for you to make amends when you do. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,121 |
Posted: Sat, 11/11/2023 05:43 (10 Months ago) |
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I'd also like to apologize for a few things. I know I'm always contradicting myself. But that's my brain. I struggle with understanding if I'm in the right, in which case, I should ignore what you say about me because it's only done to get a reaction or because you don't like me. Or if you're in the right, in which case, your criticisms have merit. But if it's the latter, I tell myself that changing for someone else is wrong. That i should only do so if I feel it's something about myself that needs changing. This isn't the first time I've done this. When my ex broke up with me the first time [and yes, he was the problem. I was one of his several victims over the course of five years], I spent two years tearing myself up over it. He lied about loving me because all he cared about was the fact I was easy to control and manipulate and worshiped the ground he walked upon. Blindly loyal, I supported him at the cost of precious friendships. Thankfully, most people understood what I was going through. But some got tired of seeing me complain about the same thing nearly every day. It wasn't my fault. That was my first relationship, and I was trying to figure out why I was unworthy. It took me three years to get over him and realize I wasn't the problem. It still hurts sometimes though, knowing I was used like that. And I feel that's the same case here. My mind knows that the only thing I did wrong was my phrasing. That my beliefs held no logic or empathy. That everything I believed was based on hearsay and not words from the people actually suffering. It wasn't until I realized that if that many people were upset with me, I had to be wrong somewhere. So after a month I finally started asking people I trusted for their views on the subject. As I educated myself, I realized how horrible I was. Am I mature morally? No doubt there, yes. I know the way you're treating me is wrong, and I'd never do the same, even to my worst enemy. But am I mature emotionally? Not one bit. It's something I recognize and am working on. Some concepts are difficult for me to grasp. Like what you're doing. One part of my mind tells me that only people who deserve to be bullied receive treatment this bad. While another part of me tries to convince myself that decent human beings don't go around attacking others for enjoyment. I'm constantly at war with myself, some days thinking I deserve this while others knowing that I'm worth more. I'm a mental mess, and I admit that. And I'm so very sorry that I go back and forth and struggle so badly with something that comes easily to normal people. My mom had ADD, and would pass me off to my grandpa as a child because she didn't know how to deal with me. I never had many friends because of my glasses, my desire to read, my love of learning, and how hyperactive I was as a child. I didn't understand how to tie my shoes until I was in sixth grade. I was in special ed and speech therapy until fourth grade when I didn't want to be bullied anymore. The only person who's ever tried to teach me how to deal with life is dad, and he has clinical depression and despises socializing, so he's not a really good model. But he tries, and I have improved because of him. I'm really really sorry I'm almost 33 and not normal. Each and every day I see or am told how worthless and insignificant I am. Some days I struggle with the desire to continue living, wondering what the point even is. But I'm trying to be a better person. And though I haven't grown much in six years when it comes to being able to ignore the words of haters, I've grown so much in other aspects. I've got a long way to go, but I'm proud of how far I've come, and that's something that can never be taken from me. Anyways. Just wanted to say this. I'm sorry for driving you crazy with my back and forth roller coaster. I'm just struggling to understand and accept the concept that I'm not the problem and never have been. Ive always had issues loving myself due to my flaws and shortcomings. But I need to understand that those things don't define me. How I'm kind, compassionate, open minded. How I don't wish ill on those who hurt me. How I struggle to be a better person each day, among so many more positives. That's what defines me. And it's long past time I stop letting the hateful words of others rule my thoughts. I am valuable and valid. I am loved and beautiful. I am worthy of everything good and shiny in life. [Read more] |