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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE   Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Tue, 27/02/2024 00:42 (4 Months ago) |
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Oh! In addition to gifting you with my lovely presence again, I present: Jasmine with a tongue blep from being caught cleaning herself. <3  Currently having so much fun watching Neil (Astarion) play BG3. OMG. I don't know who's with him, but these two are hilarious. And Neil freaked out the cutest way when he found some Charming Little Egg on top of Last Light Inn. I'm still in the Creche, so they're in areas I've not been to yet, but I'm having fun watching them. You know. I thought myself smart for learning how to code the basics of CSS for Templates and Abouts on PFQ (Even though there are still many basics I don't know yet). But combining it with HTML to build a website is a whole 'nother level of knowledge that I'm not entirely sure I'm capable of absorbing. Having a friend code two specific things for it that neither dad nor I have figured out how to do. Reading the how-to's on CSS doesn't help me. I'm a combination of the learning techniques. I can teach myself if I can play around with the code instead of just seeing it. At least, though, I'm able to teach myself. I might never deal with the hundreds of thousands to billions of lines of code that Gaming Programmers do, but at least I'm among the Coders who can learn from their mistakes. For if I stumble across something really stubborn. I'll write down what the problem was and how I fixed it just in case I come across it again in the future. ^.^ [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Mon, 26/02/2024 07:20 (4 Months ago) |
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I think I'll focus on Final Fantasy 16 for Streams since I really seem to like that one the most of the FFs I've played so far, and Baldur's Gate 3 for fun. Know that I should focus on ones other people like watching if I want to grow my channel, but I want to do what makes me happy. Spent so many years doing things to please and seek others approval. Finally living for myself now, and I feel so much better. SakuraWolf23 on Twitch M/W/F nights at 5.30-7.30 pm PST [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Sat, 24/02/2024 06:41 (4 Months ago) |
  I can't believe the Sylveon Pokéball took me half an hour. But I did accidentally learn how to blend colors with the dropper, so not a complete waste of time. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Sat, 24/02/2024 00:16 (4 Months ago) |
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What the heck? Lmao. Arceus! I wish I was this popular in High School. This honestly brightened my day! ^.^ 
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Sun, 24/12/2023 19:27 (6 Months ago) |
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First. I'm thankful Tumblr has the option of not letting people see more than a few posts if they don't have an account. It's prevented me from seeing most of what goes on, aside from my ex friend. I'll no longer tolerate drama starters or pot stirrers. Second. I've decided that based on judgement from all ends, I need to suffer with this alone. That also means removing myself from this place that has continuously allowed things to get this far out off control. I contemplated doing something to get myself banned, but if I ever wanted to return one day, I wouldn't be able to be a Mod then. The option of not logging in has obviously not worked. Therefore, I will be mashing my password, and unable to log in. In 6 months to a year, I will consider returning. Right now, my focus MUST be on my mental health and learning how to keep my mouth shut, even when I get angry. Like one of my friends said. "There is never an excuse to justify hurting another human being." And right now, i see myself becoming the monster these people are, and I want no part of it. Contact me on Pokefarm Q or Discord as SakuraWolf23. Or find me on Facebook as Samantha Bishop (Rhoslyn Razora). Note that just because I give this info out does not give you the right to come at me with hate. I'm doing this because these are the best places to contact me, and I simply can't be here anymore. My departure doesn't mean you've won by any means, though. People like you will always be the losers in life. I'm sorry, Zeraora. I really wanted a Shiny of you, but I'll hunt you on Pokefarm to make up for it. I'm sorry, Shadow Articuno. Maybe your elusiveness can be interpreted as the me I want to be that's just out of reach, and when I find who I am, I'll find you. Farewell. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Sun, 24/12/2023 05:47 (6 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Fri, 22/12/2023 23:00 (6 Months ago) |
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I have a few users added to my Blocklist on PokeFarm Q. The QoL is set to Anonymize and Remove. This removed the people from Clickbacks and Jumps. But I could still see Someone => 1 in Today's Interactions. I spent a few hours trying, but all I could figure out with CSS was how to remove their name. The Hypermode Icon, => 1, and the box was still there. So, since dad couldn't figure it out either, and Google wasn't helpful, I asked someone. li:has([href='/user/Name']) {display: none;} Replace Name with the FULL name of the user. This way, putting Wolf in there won't remove ALL users with Wolf in their name. Now, these people are completely out of sight, out of mind. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Fri, 22/12/2023 04:02 (6 Months ago) |
Title: Art QuestionsI was recently attacked for "art theft". It's kind of true. One of my OCs is a Keshiri from Star Wars, so her skin is lavender. Which you don't find often at all. So, when I saw a picture I liked (I made sure it wasn't a comm), I edited it to be purple. Nobody in the RP community ever told me that was wrong. In fact, most of them would do eye and hair edits or photoshop blasters and lightsabers in to any piece of art they found. Well, I got to thinking about it and realized that if AI is art theft, then this kind of was, too. So I decided that I would try to draw my OCs. Or comm them by offering in game currency because I am not allowed to spend what little money I get a month on “wasteful wants”. I understand that artists struggle for money. But I also know that there are many artists who work with people who can’t afford commissions by offering payment plans or other exchanges. Yet I’m now being attacked for offering in-game currency when it’s all I have and being called a liar when I say I can’t afford it. I have received no messages explaining how offering in-game currency was also wrong. Yet again, an instant attack on me. How am I supposed to fix my mistakes if I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t? The second question is: How many of you would be interested in in game currency for art? Preferably games I'm more active in that you also play. I know I find currency easy to make in most games that I play, but I know others struggle to earn even a small amount. So I figured offering igc would actually be a smart idea. Third. Can someone explain to me Bases? I found this one person on Facebook selling usage to a base with 200+ add-ons for $16. And I wanted to know…How easy is it to put the pieces together? Like. Is it basic digital art knowledge? Or advanced? Would I own the characters I made from it? Or would the owner since in this case, I’m just purchasing rights to the base and not an actual base itself? [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Wed, 20/12/2023 04:16 (6 Months ago) |
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I've even chosen to activate a year's worth of Hypermode on PFQ, which means I've gotten to the point I'm able to move past the toxicity and stuff. I'm even trying to figure out how to completely remove Someone from my clickbacks. I've got Block QoL on and set to remove profiles, but Someone still shows up in the Clickback page. I've managed to remove the link completely, but can't figure out how to remove the => 1. Just removing the name has helped some, but I'd really rather it not be there at all. Even if it means having to remove all the click list because if I can still interact without seeing names, I'd be good with that. I've got an appointment on the 26th, and I'm going to talk about getting tested for Mental Issues, and hopefully get on the proper medication for them. Won't even consider Therapy because thanks to the blog people, i always feel like everyone's judging me for anything and everything I say and do. I can't even begin to describe how it feels to doubt yourself even when you know you're making progress in the right direction. I'm also looking for people who can do commissions for me, but it would have to be with in game currency because I can't afford money. But contact me on Discord or PFQ if you'd like to take me up on that offer. Can be for other games than PokeHeroes or Pokefarm Q. I'll be making a list of games I regularly play soon and including it in my About Me on PFQ. I'll be going through Angel of the Shadows soon and giving chapters a final polishing now that I have Grammarly Premium. Once I do that, I'll work on a chapter or two. I've also decided to only post on Archive of our Own and Wattpad, as those seem the most popular sites for people to choose. Also on my Facebook author page. Right now, I can't think of anything more to say, except again. Thank you to everyone who has stood beside, encouraged, and supported me. Even when you didn't agree with me. I'm now 33 years old [birthday three days ago], and still fighting to live. It's because of those who have shown me kindness or those who say my tenacity inspired them. You'll never know just how much those words meant to me. <3 I wish you luck and strength in your own struggles. And I wish those who live to hurt others peace, joy, happiness, and everything they don't have that makes them act like this. One day, you'll look back and regret everything. I only hope it's not too late for you to make amends when you do. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Sat, 11/11/2023 05:43 (7 Months ago) |
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I'd also like to apologize for a few things. I know I'm always contradicting myself. But that's my brain. I struggle with understanding if I'm in the right, in which case, I should ignore what you say about me because it's only done to get a reaction or because you don't like me. Or if you're in the right, in which case, your criticisms have merit. But if it's the latter, I tell myself that changing for someone else is wrong. That i should only do so if I feel it's something about myself that needs changing. This isn't the first time I've done this. When my ex broke up with me the first time [and yes, he was the problem. I was one of his several victims over the course of five years], I spent two years tearing myself up over it. He lied about loving me because all he cared about was the fact I was easy to control and manipulate and worshiped the ground he walked upon. Blindly loyal, I supported him at the cost of precious friendships. Thankfully, most people understood what I was going through. But some got tired of seeing me complain about the same thing nearly every day. It wasn't my fault. That was my first relationship, and I was trying to figure out why I was unworthy. It took me three years to get over him and realize I wasn't the problem. It still hurts sometimes though, knowing I was used like that. And I feel that's the same case here. My mind knows that the only thing I did wrong was my phrasing. That my beliefs held no logic or empathy. That everything I believed was based on hearsay and not words from the people actually suffering. It wasn't until I realized that if that many people were upset with me, I had to be wrong somewhere. So after a month I finally started asking people I trusted for their views on the subject. As I educated myself, I realized how horrible I was. Am I mature morally? No doubt there, yes. I know the way you're treating me is wrong, and I'd never do the same, even to my worst enemy. But am I mature emotionally? Not one bit. It's something I recognize and am working on. Some concepts are difficult for me to grasp. Like what you're doing. One part of my mind tells me that only people who deserve to be bullied receive treatment this bad. While another part of me tries to convince myself that decent human beings don't go around attacking others for enjoyment. I'm constantly at war with myself, some days thinking I deserve this while others knowing that I'm worth more. I'm a mental mess, and I admit that. And I'm so very sorry that I go back and forth and struggle so badly with something that comes easily to normal people. My mom had ADD, and would pass me off to my grandpa as a child because she didn't know how to deal with me. I never had many friends because of my glasses, my desire to read, my love of learning, and how hyperactive I was as a child. I didn't understand how to tie my shoes until I was in sixth grade. I was in special ed and speech therapy until fourth grade when I didn't want to be bullied anymore. The only person who's ever tried to teach me how to deal with life is dad, and he has clinical depression and despises socializing, so he's not a really good model. But he tries, and I have improved because of him. I'm really really sorry I'm almost 33 and not normal. Each and every day I see or am told how worthless and insignificant I am. Some days I struggle with the desire to continue living, wondering what the point even is. But I'm trying to be a better person. And though I haven't grown much in six years when it comes to being able to ignore the words of haters, I've grown so much in other aspects. I've got a long way to go, but I'm proud of how far I've come, and that's something that can never be taken from me. Anyways. Just wanted to say this. I'm sorry for driving you crazy with my back and forth roller coaster. I'm just struggling to understand and accept the concept that I'm not the problem and never have been. Ive always had issues loving myself due to my flaws and shortcomings. But I need to understand that those things don't define me. How I'm kind, compassionate, open minded. How I don't wish ill on those who hurt me. How I struggle to be a better person each day, among so many more positives. That's what defines me. And it's long past time I stop letting the hateful words of others rule my thoughts. I am valuable and valid. I am loved and beautiful. I am worthy of everything good and shiny in life. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Sat, 11/11/2023 00:02 (7 Months ago) |
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I went to the blog after coming across a name in my clickbacks because I wanted to see if that person was being attacked for having my old name. First. I'll be 33 in 10 days. Dad is 55. I'm still more mature because I don't go out of my way to find things to attack you about. He's more mature than you because he honestly doesn't care one bit what you think of him. Actually enjoys people seeing him as a jerk. His *smiles* is something from his UO days, and is just one of his quirks. Nothing to be concerned about. Second. Don't understand how you don't get the Boaty McBoat Face reference. Dad feels names like that and Plowy McSnow Plow are childish and lack original thought. Remember my comment about how the new Poke names were weird? He thinks so too, and was trying to be funny by suggesting that the same people who named the boat and plow also named the Pokémon. Third. "I don't one click you for malicious intent. I do it because I want rus and you're always hogging it" That is an extremely stupid justification for your behavior because the odds of you getting Rus from me with that single click are astronomically small. Plus, this started days after I saw a post on Tumblr encouraging people to click a random locked poke in the ALMers fields to get them out of your list so you don't actually help them. PLUS. You one clicked dad every day for over a year and a half, even during the time he was gone. We know this because he'd log in every so often to check on things, and there you were, already in his clickbacks with one click. Tell me again how it's to get Rus when you did it to someone who never logged in. Fourth. To dad's passive aggressive comment. Neither one of us have an issue with people one clicking us when it's all we have in our party at the time or they for whatever reason stopped before a full party click. I have issues with Maleficent, who has done it every single day for over a year and a half, even during the times we weren't active. Fifth. To Maleficent. I'm sorry. Dad and I had a talk about this, and he made me understand that I'm the one seeing malicious intent. Do I want you to stop interacting with me? Yes. Does the fact that you do when you claim to hate me bother me? Definitely. But he says what you're doing isn't harassment, and isn't being done to upset me. The fact it does is a bonus to you. All you're doing is playing your own way, and there's nothing against the rules about that. So feel free to continue to one click me if that's what makes you happy. Sixth. I don't want that name back. I rebranded to something that suited me better. And 11-17-21 was when dad was diagnosed with cancer, so it was no longer a number I wanted to associate myself with. Anyways. Back to ignoring. Mainly just wanted to make that apology. But had to include the other stuff as well. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Thu, 09/11/2023 22:00 (7 Months ago) |
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I've been thinking long and hard about this, and I've come to a conclusion. Based on a comment of "doesn't post cringe in her journal every two hours to make us hate her more" and the fact I find myself falling into old habits and mindsets that I've worked hard to move past. I also learned that even if I don't look at the blogs, anything and everything I say is twisted, which makes me curious to know what is being said. Mostly because I want to laugh at the idiotic assumptions people come up with. And partially because of that part of me who feels I deserve nothing but pain and suffering, so I want to hurt myself. Recently, I've been telling myself: Stop wanting to look. Stop caring. You're worth so much more than what these people think of you. You know what you meant and who you are. They continue to do this because you're an easy target. Hurting you is the bonus of getting a reaction out of you. Don't worry or think about their hate if it's not in your active space. And even if it is, who says you have to react? Block and move on without giving them the satisfaction. Focus on your passions, like streaming and writing. Focus on being a better person and ensuring the last years with your dad are ones he'll cherish and you won't regret. Do what's best for you and what makes you happy. Unfortunately, all that is easier said than done for someone who wants people to like me for who I am because I've always been the outcast. Labeled too shy or mental. Teacher's pet. Arrogant and condescending because I dislike certain personality types. A troublemaker because I refused to let people walk all over, mistreat, or manipulate me and my family and friends. And so much more. I recently learned that I can't try to force people's opinions of me to change. What you think is what you think, and trying to change it only hurts me. The people who I want in my life will gravitate toward me amusingly enough, by YOUR actions. I went two months without looking at the blogs and was much happier and healthier. Sadly, I'm the type of person who wants to talk about anything and everything that makes me happy about my life. Or scared, in the cases of my health. Since my journal here is a huge part of the problem, I thought limiting my posting would help. But all did was upset me was that I couldn't talk about things. Plus, there's the whole thing about the pathetic Black Friday and so many other things about this site. And apparently, those who want to improve the site are part of the problem, so why should I stay? Self-control. I need to learn and master it. This time, I won't be coming back here. Not when this place has become a source of constant stress and anxiety, wondering how my life is going to be picked apart and turned against me. I fear logging in here more than I do PFQ. My Premium is almost out, and I haven't been active enough in the last few months to earn the Nuggets for another set. Which means I'd already chosen to leave. And as long as I watch my mouth, the limited space in my Trainer Card on PFQ will not likely cause many problems. Especially if I'm not looking at the blog or caring. Though seeing the deliberately intentional and malicious one-clicks by Bangchan (three days in a row now), Maleficent (1.5+ years), and others will take some time to detach from. Leaving the places of the worst toxicity is still my best choice. Those who care for my company know where to find me. So long, and thanks for all the fish. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Fri, 03/11/2023 06:38 (7 Months ago) |
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My hair would have been about six inches longer, but I've cut it shorter than intended a few times when trying to get rid of split ends or even it out. I'm still so very happy with my decision to do this. For the first time in my life, I genuinely feel beautiful. The times of looking in the mirror and seeing a disgusting body are becoming fewer and farther between. 
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Tue, 31/10/2023 00:49 (7 Months ago) |
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With the ability to hide Panels on one's Profile, I see many people get rid of their Plushie Section. Without that, people can't click on "View Collection" to send Missing Plushies. Myself, I simply added a link to View Collection in one of my existing Panels. There is, however, another way to reach that page still. Take this url https://pokeheroes.com/dw_collection?username=SakuraWolf23 Change my name to the name of the person's collection you wish to view. Capitalization does not appear to matter, spelling, of course, will. Then you just click on the Plushie you wish to send, and it will take you to the Dream Shop with that Plushie already checked and the person's name in there. With the person's name already in there, you can also then click on "Missing" to view ones they don't have. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Mon, 30/10/2023 03:19 (7 Months ago) |
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Longest Chain Times Encountered Times a Shadow has Run [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Mon, 30/10/2023 02:45 (7 Months ago) |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Mon, 30/10/2023 02:16 (7 Months ago) |
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*squeals* My signed copy of Murtagh came in! Looking forward to reading about Murtagh. He and Durza are my favorite characters. Ooh. I'd love a book about how he became a Shade. Honestly, this is making me tempted to make a fanfic for the Eragon and Wheel of Time fandoms. I haven't written much this week because I was taking advantage of the 35% EXP boost in Diablo IV. My emotional state has been hell for various reasons, keeping me from finding the desire to write. Also, the lack of words comes from being stuck in the chapter, so I may need to go to Thorn's part of the chapter or start work on Layla or Jeirazora's bits. Or maybe since I'm stuck here, I'll do a chapter for Angel of the Shadows, Guardians of Sanctuary, and Arcanum Magicka to get those out of the way for a month to stop feeling guilty about not getting chapters out. Might even start work on one or both of the two that can (Sly Fox Eyes and Unpleasant Universe), with some work, be publishable without issues. Dad hopes to see me holding one of my books before his time runs out, and I really want to make that happen. Oh, yes! I also got Grammarly Premium, so I'll be going through past chapters of things and doing a final improvement on them! ^.^ [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Mon, 30/10/2023 00:08 (7 Months ago) |
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Oh! I finally got called back for my heart. So now have an appointment scheduled on 12-13 at 2.30 in Wenatchee for my heart, and ENT on 12-26 at 1.30 in Moses Lake. Within one month, I'll not only have an answer for this ear pain that's lasted eight weeks [and is actually much more tolerable with Tylenol twice a day] but one as to whether I'll need surgery on my heart. I also talked with dad. He said he'd suffer a trip to Seattle [he hates the layout and it's three hours away] or Spokane if I wanted to be tested for ADHD and Autism so I can get on proper meds for them. So next time I go into the doctor, I'll discuss getting that process started. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Mon, 30/10/2023 00:06 (7 Months ago) |
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Recently, I realized that I was being hypocritical. I wanted people to come to me and ask for clarification when they misunderstood me, but I always jumped to the worst possible conclusions when people tried talking to me. So cue scary growth steps. Twice in the last two weeks, I have swallowed my pride and mentioned how I didn't understand what was being said and asked what was meant because my brain had taken it the wrong way. Come to find out, I was right in asking because it wasn't meant as an attack. The other two times, I replied relatively quickly and politely to a question and a statement that set me off. Usually, I instantly shut down and try to avoid what my brain screams was a confrontation. Childhood trauma reaction that I've recently started fighting through because of something I've always believed, but am now trying to live by. Communicate. Emotions are less likely to come out in a blowout of a panic attack that hurts everyone involved. [Read more] |
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SakuraWolf23 OFFLINE Forum Posts: 1,094 |
Posted: Sun, 29/10/2023 03:58 (8 Months ago) |
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So about two months back, we bought my brother lunch for a $20 Subway card. Well. Last week, we finally used it. Subway had a BOGO promo week for online orders, so dad and I got four footlongs for the price of two. He got the Italian BMT both times. But I got the Grilled Chicken the first time, and the Buffalo Chicken the second. Both were yummy, but omg! I did not expect the Buffalo to be that overwhelmingly spicy! And last night, my brother sent me a pic of something he found at work, asking if I wanted it. I'd literally just seen someone post it like an hour before that. Naturally, I said yes. So on his way home, he delivered a case of Diablo IV Mystic Punch Mountain Dew. And OMG. It's so yummy! I told him there should have been a second flavor out, but that was the only one they had. Sads, yet happys! Then today, I went to Amazon to check out their Black Friday Deals and realized that I had $65 from a refund I got earlier in the year. So I bought a present for me, mom, dad, my brother, and my best friend. Mine was a birthday present of another poetry book from Liian Varus (Caws the Gorcrow on Facebook) just so I could get another one of his crazy and weird letters. XD [Read more] |