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I'm Feeling Lucky

Searching for: Posts from SakuraWolf23.
Posted: Sat, 05/04/2025 20:36 (3 Months ago)
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Dad just started watching a movie called Vamps. One of the girls mentioned that she didn't like being called the V word. Extended Life Form was mentioned, and I was like

Me: Whoa. Wait. What? Elf means Extended Life Form?
Dad: Let me guess. Today years old?
Me: Has it always meant that?
Dad: Ever since I was a kid *proceeds to talk about North Pole Elves*
Me: I'm referring to Legolas.
Dad: Yes. They also live a long time.
Me: So you're telling me Elf was always an Acronym?!
Dad: *laughing at my freak out*

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Posted: Sat, 05/04/2025 00:49 (3 Months ago)
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Hoenn Shadows Day Four

Poochyena, Already Owned
Beautifly, Already Owned
Ludicolo, Male, Gentle, Chain #72, First on Site
Makuhita, Male, Naive, Chain #23, Second on Site
Lotad, Male, Calm, Chain #53, Third on Site

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Posted: Fri, 04/04/2025 00:47 (3 Months ago)
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Hoenn Shadows Day Three

Cascoon, Already Owned
Taillow, Already Owned
Exploud, Male, Brave, Chain #112
Mightyena, Female, Modest, Chain #9
Roselia, Male, Lax, Chain #106

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Posted: Thu, 03/04/2025 05:56 (3 Months ago)
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Hoenn Shadows Day Two

Wurmple, Already Owned
Cascoon, Female, Naughty, Chain #103
Poochyena, Male, Quiet, Chain #46
Volbeat, Male, Naughty, Chain #107, First on Site
Spoink, Male, Lonely, Chain #80, Second on Site

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Posted: Wed, 02/04/2025 19:09 (3 Months ago)
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Hoenn Shadows Day One

Beautifly, Male, Careful, Chain #98
Linoone, Female, Naughty, Chain #33
Taillow, Female, Hardy, Chain #3
Silcoon, Male, Quiet, Chain #151
Wurmple, Male, Mild, Chain #187

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Posted: Tue, 01/04/2025 06:09 (3 Months ago)
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I still get really anxious when many people have visited my profile recently.
I never know if it's because of an auction, something I posted, or if I'm being talked about on the blogs.
I know it's of no consequence and that I shouldn't have the Visitors section on if it bothers me.
But I want to be able to block people who have blocked me.

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Posted: Tue, 01/04/2025 05:33 (3 Months ago)
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Because dad's time has become limited, he is pushing me for healthier habits. It's now been four days in a row of drinking water and brushing my teeth. He also says i need to push myself to take showers more often because

"I chose to be lazy and stop taking care of myself. And now I'm miserable. You don't want to be in this position when you get my age."

So, for him, I'm taking better care of myself.

Today was a productive day for me. Got through a doctor's appointment, made an appointment, tried calling for another appointment, watched an hour of a movie with dad, and dealt with another hour long phone call. All while dealing with an 8/10 headache and dizziness.

I'm currently getting ready to work more on one of my short stories.

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Posted: Mon, 31/03/2025 22:05 (3 Months ago)
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We just got back from the doctor's. I had an appointment regarding a hard spot on my neck directly beneath my right ear. Touching it causes me pain in my right ear. I will have an ultrasound to see if there's any concern there.

One of my first thoughts, as unlikely as it was, was that, as a second-hand smoker for 33 years of my life, I'd developed cancer as well. Dad tells me it's possible but not likely.

My second thought is...Well. I've mentioned several times over the last few years how I occasionally get intense stabs of pain in my right ear that last anywhere from five seconds to five minutes, one to three times a day. But it's sporadic, like my feverish episodes. It can happen several days in a row, then go weeks without happening. My ear regularly feels like something is stuck in it, but there's no wax buildup or other problems. The ENT I visited in December 2023 said it was from grinding my teeth, which was possible, as I know I do that in my sleep and when I'm intensely focused on a game.

We're waiting on dad to get a call from the ENT, who's going to do a biopsy of his neck to confirm if it is related to his current lung cancer, a new one, or a tumor unrelated to it.

And I'm going to suck it up and finally make that call for a Sleep Therapy appointment while calling to get my Ultrasound scheduled.

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Posted: Sat, 29/03/2025 05:56 (3 Months ago)
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Decided to prioritize my poems and short stories over my main project, roleplays, and fanfictions for a while. I really want to be published within the next year, and after four years on my main project and it only being half done, I painfully decided it doesn't HAVE to be the first work to my name.

I've got nine short stories left to polish up, and I've been meaning to get around to writing more short stories and poems anyway, so it works for me. Added 200 more words to one of the short stories today. It's only at 1100 words now, though, which has me thinking.

Is there a minimum limit to short stories? *googles* It looks like 1k-10k with 3500 being the "sweet spot" for readers. I won't return to the ones I've already done and add more to reach the 3k point. I'll add some longer ones to the compilation to even it out.

I just wanted to give an update on my writing since I know it's been a while. As well as apologize for the lack of updates. I've been really struggling to write for the last few weeks, especially the last few days. I get some progress done, but I typically feel ashamed for being proud of ONLY 100 words. I know it's better than nothing, but still...

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Posted: Thu, 27/03/2025 05:20 (3 Months ago)
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I'm sorry I've not been active for the last two days. Dad and I have been discussing things. We've decided to move to Kentucky so he can spend his last few years near his family where he grew up. We've got some discussion to do with family members first, but it will likely be by the end of 2026.

So we've been discussing what can be taken, who, what, when, and where we visit and spend time with over the next year who lives nearby before we decide to move, and what's going to be done with me after he passes (like what all the family is going to expect of me, what they will help me with, etc.).

We haven't decided if I will be taking all 800+ of my books, but I worked hard to build this collection after not having much of anything growing up and always having to sell stuff to support my mom's habits. I don't want to part with anything if I can avoid it.

There's a lot more emotional-wise going on, too, like dealing with hearing him cry every so often. I'm just...Not okay.

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Posted: Wed, 26/03/2025 19:26 (3 Months ago)
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Dad got me these baby water bottles, and told me I needed to drink one a day. I go into the kitchen to start making tea for us, and I see them there. I whined about how I don't want to drink water.

"I really wish you'd start taking care of yourself. I'm miserable. You don't want to be like this when you get my age."
*heart wrenching feeling* "What am I supposed to do? Fight through my depression? Cry while doing anything because just the thought of doing it overwhelms me and sucks my energy?"

Dad: "Either find a way that works for you, or fight through it. Once I stopped taking showers twice a week and otherwise taking care of myself, everything started falling apart."

I can hear the desperation and care in his voice, and that's what hurts the most. These rare moments where he makes his pain and suffering known.

Since my time with him is now confirmed limited, I'll try. I'll fight even though I want to cry. If it helps you end your journey without worry or fear of where I'll end up in life, I'll do it.

🌸❤️🌸🧡🌸💛🌸💚🌸💙🌸💜🌸


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Posted: Wed, 26/03/2025 00:49 (3 Months ago)
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Hey, that's not an apple you just bobbed! ... Wait, that's my little PuffPuff. I thought I'd never see him again!
Thank you so much for finding him. Here: Have a reward.
(100 Fair Tickets obtained)

Ducklett Fishing, Baby Ducklett
You won 50 Fair Tickets!

:O I don't think I've ever gotten 50 points from the Ducklett game before. Those are some nice pulls for today, and definitely make me somewhat happy after the earlier news.

🌸❤️🌸🧡🌸💛🌸💚🌸💙🌸💜🌸


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Posted: Tue, 25/03/2025 21:53 (3 Months ago)
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Okay, so dad is no longer being given Keytruda treatments, as his Oncologist doesn't seem to think it's working since the swelling on the lymph nodes of his neck has grown.

He was given two options, and chose to take the chemotherapy route. He will receive treatment once every three weeks for the rest of his life (which, according to her, is 2-6 years). If he doesn't get any treatment or the treatment doesn't work, 6 months to 1 year.

He's at the very least hoping chemo (which he's happy this one won't make him weak or lose his hair again) will get rid of the pain so he has a better quality of life for the last few years

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Posted: Mon, 24/03/2025 03:59 (3 Months ago)
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Okay. So every so often, while doing the Bug Hatching Contest, dad would go, "Bug. Bug. Bug. Bug." Every. Single. Bug. It got to the point where I would do it on occasion in the hopes of annoying him, but it would annoy me halfway through, and he just sat there laughing at me.

Well. I was thinking about the hint for PFQ's newest Paradox Pokemon, which is "Bonk". So, I started to go "Bonk. Bonk. Bonk." to every Diglett/Dugtrio forme I hit. Halfway through, dad turned around to see what I was on about, and then started going "Bug" every time I said "Bonk"

The point of this post?

Whack-a-Diglett
You collected 100 points.
You won 20 Fair Tickets.

*screaming and squealing* OMG! OMG! That's the first time none of them have messed up! And it's all because I 'bonked' them real good! Ahh!

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Posted: Tue, 18/03/2025 01:21 (3 Months ago)
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Ever since January 26th, I've grown increasingly terrified and pessimistic. After a question and short little conversation with someone on Facebook today, I've come to a horrifying realization.

Now. If you know me, you've known that I haven't supported cops for three or so years, but that I've also not believed in ACAB/ACAC. Because I thought that if a good cop gets fired or quits, that opens the doorway to a bad cop to take their place. Then there goes all their opportunities to use their pull and resources to do good. But the way the person explained it to me made me realize three things.

First, the person told me that one apple spoils the barrel. If a good cop gets fired, that furthers the belief that ACAB. If a good cop does or says nothing, that act alone makes them complicit and, by extension, also confirms ACAB/ACAC. That reminded me of a quote I once saw that said something along the lines of "The only thing it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to stand by and do nothing."

Second, I remember being so disappointed that people thought I wouldn't make a good Mod. I remember telling myself that it was okay because there were other ways I could give back to the community and help out. Well, the same goes for cops. There are dozens of other ways the good ones can make a difference and continue to serve their community even without the badge.

Third. Deep down, I've known this from the start. But I simply couldn't and didn't want to believe that those people meant to protect us were actually our enemies. The desire to continue believing in safety and the kind hearts of people is what kept me in denial. What kept me from accepting the reality you spoke. Everything since January 26th slowly wore at me until I could admit it. I still believe Police Reform would help solve a lot of things. But *deep breaths* I have now joined the 1312 community. And no. I have not and will not even consider bringing this up with dad. I don't want or need a fight with someone whose mind I know I can't change.

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Posted: Sat, 15/03/2025 18:11 (3 Months ago)
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*whimpers* I hate kidney stones so much! Why did I have to develop this issue as I aged? What's worse is that dad's making me drink nasty water to help flush it out. I just wanna drink tea and apple juice!

He also didn't help matters by telling me a kidney stone was the equivalent of a shard of glass passing through that would hurt the entire way out AND that it could rip and tear during that process. So now I'm worrying about that happening. -_-

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Posted: Sat, 15/03/2025 01:27 (4 Months ago)
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Dad: *hatches a Melan Gastly Bonfire that happens to be an Any Quirky (his second preferred nature)

Me, two minutes later: Ooh! Can I put in my Trainer Card:
"OMG! Daddy hatched a Mewan Bonfire!"

Dad: Even I find that "cringe"

Me: XD

Dad: You're still going to post it somewhere, aren't you?

Me: Yups! ^.^ I'm not gonna let people's opinions of me define or alter who I am. Yes. I admit I say some of these cringe things *just* to make them mad. But it's also really how I act. I'm easily excited, say weird things, and have childlike behavior and enthusiasm about many things. There's nothing wrong with that.

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Posted: Thu, 13/03/2025 17:50 (4 Months ago)
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Dad already hates the fact that I go back to bed after my 8 am alarm. So when I brought up the alarm at 7 am to take meds method, he said, "If you're going to get up at 7 and take your meds, just get up." Yet, he has slept in to 10-11 am nearly every day for a year now.

I've not told him yet because he won't understand, but when I get up at 8 in the morning, walk across the room, pick up my phone, and turn the alarm off, I instantly start screaming at myself mentally, "Get up! Get up! Don't go back to bed! Get up!" only to go right back to bed. Only to wake up between 9 and 11 a.m. and cry because I failed again—because I wasted so much time again. I've been considering making a plaque that says: "Wasted Time; Lost Dreams" to remind me that every hour I lose a day pushes my dreams of becoming an Author farther away. But I'm nervous I'll start purposely avoiding looking at it. Worth a shot to try, regardless, I guess.

I really need to schedule a sleep therapy appointment despite how scared I am of being alone. If it helps me to stop waking up throughout the night (sometimes due to sounds of my cats getting into stuff or scrapping with one another), but mostly due to snoring or no reason, I'd be much better off. Then I'd just need to figure out why I use the bathroom so much throughout the night when I don't drink anything after 8 pm. Yes. I've already been to a Urologist about that. They only discovered that I have a Duplex Collecting System in my right kidney.

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Posted: Wed, 12/03/2025 19:06 (4 Months ago)

Title: Tall Grass Event

Boosts:
Premium: 1.5x EHP/EXP received on Pokemon and Eggs
Party Flute: Doubles EXP/EHP received on Pokemon and Eggs
Egg Radar+: Finds potential bushes twice as fast. (halves search time)

Advice:
-Set a timer for every 20 minutes (10 for those with Egg Radar+)
*Note that this time may change depending on the Pokemon chosen

-Be as active as you can during the Event

-Purchase Egg Storages, save as many eggs as you can for x2 day

-Make the most of the half-time bonus DAY (10 or 5 minutes)
*Note that this time may change depending on the Pokemon chosen
*This DAY is achieved by reaching 10,000 sitewide turn-ins


Information:
-If you buy a Chosen hatched from the Tall Grass by someone else, it will not count
However, if you hatch a Chosen from the Tall Grass released by someone else, it will.

-Any Chosen obtained BEFORE the cut off time will NOT break your chain if hatched AFTER
Any Chosen obtained AFTER cut off time, WILL

Previous Events:
Tadbulb: 200 Turn-ins for Shiny Wo-Chien
Orthworm: 160 Turn-ins for Shiny Ting-Lu

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Posted: Tue, 11/03/2025 06:22 (4 Months ago)
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One thing I mean by not having a support system.

Sharing this with dad because I thought it would be really helpful for me. I have this paralysis when it comes to doing things. It's why I can't write anymore when I tell someone I'm writing and why I no longer want to stream when I say I'm going to stream. Why I can't focus on reading after admitting I want to read. And definitely why I struggle with doing any of the various chores around the house that regularly need to be done.

He pops off with, "Why is any of that even necessary? Someone tells you to do something, or you know it needs to be done, just do it because it's necessary. You shouldn't have to devise dozens of ways to convince yourself not to be lazy. Most of the population is ADHD or Autistic."

"Agreed. But to a small percentage of people, these issues are debilitating, and they need this kind of help to do simple tasks."

"It's not that debilitating to you."

"No, there are people worse than me. But you're always talking about wanting me to do more and to become more self-sufficient and capable. If this helps, isn't that great?"

"So long as you aren't learning 5,000 different ways to do the same thing."

"This trick I just learned probably works on most people with ADHD. There are probably ten other methods that help those who this doesn't."

"You've been talking much more about this over the last two weeks. It's like you want to be Autistic or have ADHD. That it somehow makes you feel special or justifies your behavior."

"I followed one person about Mental Health issues. Facebook Algorithm did the rest. I'm enjoying learning about ways to better myself."

*silence*

https://www.instagram.com/p/DHB_aMIP1SA/

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