Forum Thread

Using a Sawk regional variant from a fangame I made for an RP character. What do y'all think of his current beta design? (Will be updating it at a later date.)

Sprite & info: https://the-spirin-region.tumblr.com/tagged/SpirinSawk

My character refs: https://pokeheroes.com/forum_thread?id=89083

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I'm not sure if you mean the fangame is yours or if this spin on a variant sawk alone is yours, but I'll be talking about this design as a whole in comparison to the regular sawk. My apologies if I've critically misunderstood anything. :,D

The idea of the belts is definitely neat and I really like how the variant is a different height. It gives the sawk's silhouette a subtle change so there's a distinguishable difference but it's still very much identifiable as a sawk. Very cool and clever.

For the criticism of the design, I mostly just have gripes with the colors. Which is understandable since colors are a pain in the butt. :,D

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About the colors of the sawk:
I think design-wise, the color palette is too dark. Since you made the clothes black and darkened the color of the sawk itself, it all kind of just blends together as a dark blob, which is particularly apparent with the brighter belt colors. You can see what I mean in the collage of small sawks with all the belt colors pretty clearly. Especially with the bright colored ones, your eye really focuses on the belt and it's kinda hard to see what's going on with the pokemon itself since the sawk and its clothes are both so dark.

So, if you want to keep the black clothes, what I'd do is keep the original sawk color. Or make a lighter version or a bit of a different tint of blue if you want to distinguish your version from the original more.

(Also, it took me quite a while to notice the details in the clothes because the color is so close to the rest of the clothes. So with that, you could lighten them as well and ideally follow the original sawk model and make the clothes details all the same color. As it is, there's a lot of different colors on the clothes and making them more visible would make the color palette very busy, especially since the belts already add more color. "Less is more" does have merit. :b)

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The belts and their colors:
I'd also adjust the colors of the brighter belt colors a bit. (The yellow and green in particular, and perhaps white as well.) Just tone the brightness down a notch so they don't demand the viewer's attention so aggressively. The eyes seem to be what you want to emphasize, so the belts should not exceed the green of the eyes in brightness.

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Final notes about colors:
That may or may not be frustrating advice for you since, from looking at the dex entries, you seem to be going for some kind of evil night-lurker vampire vibes. So, a very overall dark palette makes sense thematically, but it's not good design-wise. It's why vampires are so often depicted as very pale and add red accents to the otherwise black attire, it makes the design clearer and directs the eye. For example, the attention-grabby color of the classic red collar like this focuses the viewer's gaze on the head/face. (Which brings me back to the belts. Since the belt is bigger than the eyes, the belt is going to steal the attention if they're the same brightness.)

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Some thoughts about the dex entries:
Finally, the Spectral Midnight dex entry is a bit... melodramatic I'd say, and breaks the dex formula a bit by speaking directly to the reader. So I think it'd be better to suggest the terror of the sawk variant more subtly, rather than telling the reader how to feel. For example, perhaps something along these lines:

Quote from Spectral Midnight

Local legend says green eyed sawk prowl the woods at night and it's advised that travelers keep their distance. Those who do not heed the warning and venture out in the forest at night are often not heard from again.

Or

Quote from Spectral Midnight

There has been a handful of accounts of people lost in the woods spotting a sawk with bright green eyes observing them from the foliage. The survivors attribute their survival to their steely resolve and quick retreat.

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Finally:
I'm sorry if I dumped too much on you with that wall of text, but don't get discouraged by the length of my criticism. You've got a pretty neat idea on your hands and it just needs a bit more refinement in my humble opinion. :]

Colors can be notoriously difficult to nail down, but hopefully my ramblings gave you same direction on how to fine-tune your design.

And, of course, if you disagree with me, you're obviously free to disregard anything I said. After all, I'm no expert at character design and I'm not privy to all your intents with the design so my advice might not mesh with your vision at all. At the end of the day, it's your sawk so do what you find most cool or fun. :b

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The fangame & sawk variant are mine. And thank you for the detailed critique.

Regarding the colors:
Now that you mention it, they do blend together far too much. I will lighten the gi & darken a few of the belt colors. Your right. The yellow, green & white are obnoxiously bright when I stare at them. They shouldn't be the first thing I notice, but they are. The red & brown look too similar to me, too.
Their skin will be staying the same, that one color took me days to finally settle on & I'm happy with it. Also just realized I forgot to add their fangs, oops.
The eyes are ment to be a focal point, to seem as if they glow in the dark. The belt certainly pulls your gaze to it instead. I can't have that.
But story-wise their dark coloring is ment to help keep them hidden in dark, shadowy areas & at night.

Regarding the dex entries: (including story spoilers)
I like the way you reworded it as:
"Local legend says green eyed sawk prowl the woods at night and it's advised that travelers keep their distance. Those who do not heed the warning and venture out in the forest at night are often not heard from again."
Or
"There has been a handful of accounts of people lost in the woods spotting a sawk with bright green eyes observing them from the foliage. The survivors attribute their survival to their steely resolve and quick retreat."

But my dex entries are ment to break the forth wall an' address the player directly. Showing just how much has changed between the past & present. Most SM dex entries will address the player directly.
Spectral Midnight will be 1 of 3 versions of my game & the darkest version. As such its entries need to hold the same weight. The canon entries will keep the same old formula, but my entries are more of a direct warning not to be taken lightly.
Morning Spirits' entries will be more like the canon ones, seemingly innocent & sugar coated.
Dusk Ghost's entries portray a slightly more urgent sence of caution.
But Spectral Midnight, it's not supposed to have any subtlety at all! It's ment to show the true danger & fear there is in this area. It's no longer a kid's game.
My explanation in the comments of this post goes into more detail: https://www.reddit.com/r/PokemonRMXP/comments/l6y6iw/you_encountered_a_new_game/

Also, the Tales of the Phantom Kingdom RP I will be starting soon will shed some light on the lost history of why the pokémon world has become more dangerous, some of the events that lead to Spirin's founding & the secret behind the death of Arceus.
Details on the current state of Spirin an' its known history are found here:

https://the-spirin-region.tumblr.com/post/635912670300831745/spirins-back-story-pt1

https://the-spirin-region.tumblr.com/post/635921807638249472/spirins-back-story-pt2

https://the-spirin-region.tumblr.com/post/638432607316721664/spirins-back-story-pt3

https://the-spirin-region.tumblr.com/post/638433604254547968/spirins-back-story-pt4

Overall, the SM entry for Sawk is intentionally melodramatic. Dark entry for a dark game.
Sorry if this was a bit much or was confusing.

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Ah, yeah, in that case I was way off the mark with the dex entry critique. You've got a pretty strong concept for the game and its versions and having the dex entries show their differences compliments the storytelling well. I was too much of a shortsighted fool to see it from the one example set of dex entries. :,v

You're clearly putting a lot of effort into building this game and I commend you for that. Best of luck with it going forward.

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