Forum Thread

[11/8/18]

i started to feel like such a waste of space again... i'm not having fun at anything, i can't focus on classes or games anymore. i'm trying to convince myself of otherwise but i'm a little hopeless. maybe i'm not cut out for philosophy. maybe i shouldn't concern myself with concepts that are more than 2000 years old. I was so curious and invested in this subject, but now i just want to live and forget, don't think about anything. it feels like i'm punishing myself with all this reading and theorizing.

i'm burned out.
too much of the same thing can't be good for you, i guess.
i think i need a break, pick up something new to reignite my "love of wisdom".

currently i want to do nothing else but rot somewhere and consume unhealthy amounts of unhealthy foods... it's irresponsible and awful, I know. picking up myself is always the most difficult part of these episodes.
I feel like treading in one place, not moving forward at all.

I am seriously doubting my judgement on what is good or harmful to me and my future.

are you with me after all
why can't I hear you
are you with me through it all
then why can't I feel you

---

crying quite a lot these days. I don't know what to do with myself.
acoustic breaking benjamin stuff isn't helping, but I should be empty soon.
I don't feel like doing anything else.
I dropped all activity that doesn't include browsing the internet aimlessly.

kinda want to get back into the things I stopped doing, I'm not sure where to start though.
I have to get better first, I'm sick again; it's been a while.
red update: 5.12.18
green update: 30.12.18
yellow update: 25.1.18

---

⚗ drawing (digital and traditional)
[have enough tools, but I just can't it down for it. I really want to get better at it though, since I started doing digital I kinda neglected drawing on paper]
yea no not gonna happen, I stopped this for good. this is not my domain.

⚗ chatting with the lads
[discord and in rl. I don't let many people near me anymore, but I don't think this is the right way to go]
trying to rekindle. It's half working and half not, seen some of em since when
it's okay if things don't work out as planned. people (de)evolve with time, and like other things. it's not possible to stick together forever, and I guess if we finally realized that we became different people breaking apart is the only reasonable thing to do.
das ist ein offener brief an dich, tris.
(ich hab leider keine umlaute an dem teil, tut mir leid)
hey. wenn du tatsaechlich bist wie ich dann wirst du dies bald gelesen haben. du weisst, dass ich dieses spiel immernoch spiele und dass hier meine gedanken stehen, du hast dich damals noch drueber lustig gemacht. ich hoffe, dir geht es gut und du bist gesund.
als erstes will ich mich unbedingt bei dir entschuldigen. ich habe mich ewig nicht gemeldet und jetzt habe ich deine nummer nicht mehr, oder jegliche andere kontaktmoeglichkeiten. deine mutter meinte, du seist umgezogen, ich habe mich aber nicht getraut sie nach addresse oder nummer zu fragen. ich breue es immernoch.
ich vermisse dich sehr, und denke viel an dich.
wuerde ihm das spiel gefallen? wuerde ihm das lied gefallen? wuerde er da gerne mitessen?
ich muss mich verzweifelt anhoeren.
ich verstehe wenn du mir nicht verzeihen willst. das ist auch okay. ich will nur dass du weisst dass ich dich sehr liebe und noch nie jemand so ein loch in meinem herzen hinterlassen hat. wenn du mich wieder ertragen kannst/willst, bitte melde dich bei mir.

bitte hoer dir auch das mal an, ich sterbe hier ohne das wissen, ob du das schon gehoert haben koenntest. es erinnert mich sehr an den sanften teil in ow my feelings.

alles gute tris.

⚗ watching sorcererDave (morrowind and oblivion)
[i love his stuff, and he's uploading a lot since I stopped watching, but I can't seem to sit down for it. I also want to watch his other lps tbh]
yeeees. all the rage now currently, I'm not doing anything else atm. just yesterday night he uploaded part 70, now i'm at 30, so i still have plenty to watch
i caught up with oblivion, now there even is a nee skyrim series so i could check that one out when i really don't feel like doing anything else. idk why i stopped watching the guy, all the love for him.

⚗ (finishing) video games
[paradise warfare - list. so many great games I initially wanted to get started, but I'm just-- ugh]
i finished diablo 3 amd the witcher 3 at least! my main goal now honestly is pokemon um, and maybe get a little further in the projects i have started as well
feels like i'm not moving forward at all, but my library is full now so that might be why i feel i can't complete anything. good thing it's full now though, so maybe i can feel accomplished bow if i manage to complete some chunk of it

⚗ writing
[so many started projects, but after a while I either run out of ideas or motivation, even with planning beforehand. ahh I just want to get one work finished]
my imagination remains wild, alas I'm still to lazy to write anything down. maybe i should at least start with some notes/scraps? and hope that nobody finds them
uhh so i reread all my past projects and ahh half impressed and half cringing i don't know where to even pick up, so many ideas but not the words to put them to paper. a shame for some of the attempts though.

⚗ reading
[having to read a lot for school takes the fun out of reading for my own entertainment - I want to catch up on the scp pages and finish the books I got recently]
ᵈᵒᵉˢ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵉᵃᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᶦⁿ ᵛᶦᵈᵉᵒᵍᵃᵐᵉˢ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ

from all of the vacancy "nothing to hide" must br my favourite track. so many textures, i hear something new every time. very dreamy/echo-y. love that one.

finally finished the witcher 3 and uhh?? apparently being an overprotective dad gets you the bad ending, who would've thunk. ah well, enjoyed it quite a lot, 40+ hours well spend. now just the dlcs left and then I can put the game to rest.

speaking of the witcher 3, keira x lambert???
hell yea, i approve of this ship, they're both prickly gross people and fit perfectly together. love their chemistry. glad they ended up together.
though in all honesty, lei wanted lambert all for herself

hngg all of frutuoso's stuff is so awesome, glad I could gather all his albums. I wonder what he's up to now that silent hill isn't a thing anymore. almost as good as yamaoka's stuff, i'm telling you.

idek what's next for the bigger gaming plans, probs finish pokemon um and diablo first? the spyro trilogy and dark souls III can wait a bit. I really gotta see what intrigues me most, rn it probs would be monster hunter: world and mgs: V, but these are so recent that I think I really should attack older games /// thinking about fallout 4, only heard bad things about it so far, see if it's true. (exact same thing goes for far cry 4))

I spent sooo much freaking money this month (nov), it's ridiculous. I should really take more consideration into how much I actually have, now december is ushering in and I don't have any cash for christmas/new years eve. I should make it a next years reaolution to spend less ((although I won't buy as many games now since I have everything I really really wanted now))

not a day passes when I'm not thinking about periphery 4.
I really need this in my life.
I need to know what colour the album will have this time /shot
i'm guessing green or purple; 1 was blue, 2 was red, 3 was yellow, alpha&omega were uhh... orange and turquoise? icarus lp was dark blueish and clear was... clear

also yandhi(?) coming out soon, how 'bout that. Kinda flew under my radar, but youtube should remind me when it really does come out

can you believe that the year's almost over again?
I can't. No idea what to do yet, main plan for now is stashing up some gud stuff and stay up as long as I can, playing games, and when the year rolls over I'll take a walk outside. I wanted to pick something very gripping title for the christmas/new year, thinking about persona v or the dmc remake. But eh, still about a month until then, maybe something will change

started acid therapy again (23/11/18), hope it won't hurt too much. i thought it won't burn but now it does haha
If there are no results after 2 weeks I'll leave it be, though I have good hope. I should actually apply that stuff twice daily but i settled on once nightly; reminder to not skip a day! I really want my skin to become better.

I've been giving this sm weedle chain all my love and support, but still I'm not very lucky with it. slightly above 2k now after a month, really convnsidering to break it, but I spent sooo much resources on it...... it would be a shame. I don't have anything else to to but hunting all the ubs anyways, so I should actually stick to this chain to the end. I don't even have a name for the sm picked.
maybe that helps? |D
m: robitaille
f: dolores

hngg i got amazon prime now, I can watch so many movies and series for free now. I picked a couple of movies already, but I'm not sure when to start all this. for now I still have a few games to complete before I can laze about again, justified

sometimes when I daydream I imagine having terminal cancer and the make-a-wish-foundation brings mark holcomb to my hospital for a private performance.
idk we all had these stupid near death imaginings

my desk
thought I'd share
I'm secretly huge nerd weeb trash

1. 10x flying gem
2. mega able egg (mega milotic)
3. 20x dream point
4. 200x game chip
5. 20x wiki berry
6. 10x fairy gem
7. 3x great ball
8. 1x dragon scale
9. 1x event plushie
10. mega able egg (mega flygon)
11. 1x mystery box (green)
12. 1x christmas gift
13. 15x persim berry
14. 5x pokeball
15. 1x mystery box (red)
16. mega able egg (mega claydol)
17. 500x game chip
18. 1x leaf stone
19. 1x mystery box (brown)
20. 1x event plushie
21. 1x dna splicer (white)
22. 1x event plushie
23. mega able egg (mega luxray)
24. 1x week premium

new ashley skin///////// i probably won't be able to get it but loOKIE


the newer skins in general look mega gorgeous and it makes me cry that they are awfully hard to get (((bride skins of kratos and nobunaga????)

exorcist helm knight and athena crusader skins??? NICE

so i was collecting diamonds for the prayer tree event, cause i wanna get the new girl zeta
but even after 20 pulls and the gift after that i didn't get her
i got selene instead, i was hunting for her for quite a while but she is a lot less exclusive
also got nani, not sure what to do with her yet. i wanted some kickass sx front girl but both selene and nani are middleground
alas i got the strawberry cake girl (i forgot her name) and she's a front, so there's that

not p4 but clear-related
i didn't know that every song is composed by one of the band members, this was eye-opening /// my boi mark did my favourite track without me even realizing it haha

yes!! 2019 it is then


ITS BLACK
I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THIS SOME POSTS AGO
ITS BLACK
HNGGG CONFIRMED BY MISHA


prob working names for some of the songs, i'm very intrigued!!


unrelated but


also all the update snippets sound so great aaaa
they're also super heavy like, woah
from what I know nolly is the last to record the bass lines, so maybe
s o o n

love psalm is such a banger i love it so much

i can't remember the last time i played a game where nobody was interesting me, not sure if this is a game fault, a character fault or if I'm empty inside

I'm constantly anxious about everything i do, gets to the point where i just walk around and forget to eat. it's really 2 modi i have: always eating or never eating.

trying to write more, but dang i think my vocabulary shrunk, i sound like a 3rd grader. what can i even do about that

redbone x no love is a masterpiece

i completely fell in love with byakuya togami and i'm not even mad about it

i need to slowly start with doing school stuffs but I really don't feel like it at all. being at home foing nothing might slowly turn my insane but it kinda beats going outside... the coming month will be full of exams and papers to write until i'm free again in mid february; i say "free", i need to write a paper thesis over the break. I hope i can finish it quickly enough so i can laze about for a month, but planning ahead like that is never working out in my favour.

how long can a man enjoy what he doesn't feel?

I adore daidouji ♡♡ she's the coolest thing ever

mains atm: daidouji ((i figured that leveling up the girls make them a lot more usable, so i really don't have a top 3 yet i guess, need some more leveling - i do love shikis set though)

now in the endspurt my motivation is completely drained, I don't wanna do anything. Just sit, or sleep, or eat. there's more things in life but i can't bring myself to care about all these texts ...

(considering car-parts situation)
i feel pretty bad now, but i think it made me realize that i have to focus on someone else in the future, not him. that ship has sailed.
I'm okay with it. I like having time for my own things, i don't have time for a significant other anyways. i just wish it wouldn't break my heart like that.

i'm sorry
i just throw you away

You know, at times I don't even really know how to handle this thing called "life". I'm constantly feeling sorry for myself, which is cancerous and stupid as all hell. I spent today doing school stuff only and not a aingle depressing thought has crossed my mind. It was kinda cool. To be honest, it took me ages to get started, but it paid off on the end. Maybe I should catalyse this negativity into something productive once it takes over? Novel idea, i know. It worked once, i'd have to test it out a couple of times to make sure.
There's the "looming threat" of like two months free time, where i've got plenty of time to get depressed bored with myself even while playing video games or doing anything else I enjoy really. I was thinking about creating some kind of battle-plan, like a list of stuff i can do in a current condition. I guess that's topic of a newer post.

why you're looking so beautiful to me now
when you're so sad?

i've recognised the glow of your low beams numerous times
through fairly opaque blinds in the sitting room
vehicles will pass by, but I know when it's you



i wish billy talent would record more material like kingdom of zod
it has the energy of the first album but the spirit if the last one //

escape from midwich valley x bottomless pit?
DAMN

you even just listen to something and your only thought is:
"I don't deserve this, it's too good"

ok ok recap, lps
-periphery
-this time it's personal
-select difficulty
-hail stan
In my mind all these are inside jokes in a way /// hee

on the first few listenings I kinda thought that icarus lives! and blood eagle are sister tracks, but looking up the lyrics I remember that blood eagle is that one execution/torture method, and the lyrics are so grizzly and aaaa
if that's setting the mood for the whole album i might've found my vent cd
rip the body from the bone now
spread the heavens wings
____
pleading to the sky once more
weeping for the self
for the abandoned children of christ
have been laid to waste on the shelf

they also let jake sing on the single, and I hope he gets more parts throughout the album, because I think he's actually pretty decent?? he's not like, a force of nature like spencer but still.
ALSO MARK SHAKES HIS HAIR LIKE A GOD IN THE MV ♥ ♥ ♥

"[...] philosophy is not a subject for plato, it's a love, an eros, a hunger. to be a philosopher, according to plato, we have to be hungry, we have to be invested in the drama of ideas to understand them. we can never sit back passively and just be amused by them [...]"

"did you have that dream again?
release, breathe
you're receiving what you've send",
said she,
"never mind
emptiness, dead eyes and lost what you've found"

scarlet spikes is too powerful to exist

dear diary,
believe it or not, time studying has actually paid off; I passed all of my exams. this is great news, as it's one less thing i have to worry about now!
my health is getting a little better too, probably because it's not that cold anymore and i eat at reasonable times.

i'm worrying about my mental health more, since now there's guaranteed freetime to make lots of mistakes. my sleeping schedule is a bit all over the place now, i have nightmares and wake up constantly when I finally managed to fall asleep. I don't know how to remedy it yet, i thought about cutting away the caffeine for a while.

I really want to go outside once I'm feeling well enough, maybe listen to an audiobook or music while taking a walk around a lake. I really do like the thought of it, but I'm still to scared to leave home.

I'm already having that looming feeling of boredom, even while doing something.
Even considering to simulate university and listen to some lectures every day so it at least feels like i'm doing something meaningful with my time - and hey, maybe i learn some additional stuff. doesn't even have to be my majors, right?

I can't fathom that february is almost coming to an end. Feels like it had just begun some days ago ... time flies.

---

on a less self doubting note, playing a lot of different games like i started doing now is very inspirational! i wish i could do something creative with that energy.
also have to admit that games after dark souls feel... easy? i think that game broke some of my brain settings haha

---

i keep looking up the lyrics for blood eagle so here's a link (x)

!!!!! NEW PERIPHERY SONG!!!
GARDEN IN THE BONES
HOLY SMOKES MY SOFT GUITARS HAVE ARRIVED


i'm glad to hear that I'm not the only person who listens to new material like that haha

art design is 50% i love it omg 50% please stop i'll have a stroke soon

open letter to ryuji:
listen here you discount kanji. I already had crushes on the likes of you, stop being a moron and we might get along.
otherwise prepare to be drowned in my love.
edit: so he's like a mixture of kanji and yosuke,,

rens persona is called 'arsene' and i can't get started to tell you why this is bothering me lmao

is it concerning that i heavily sympathise with kamoshida and would probably be the same way if I was some bigshot?
it's probably concerning.

if i had to marry any character in the game i would choose sojiro because i adore this man so much

yusukes voice is... aaaaAAAA
i've never liked guys like him but now i kinda love him too x.x

I HAVE FALLEN AND I CANT GET UP

>beach episode
>everyone will be in swimwear
>lei_elation.png
>YUSUKE SHOWS UP WEARING A HOODIE

I can feel that the game is coming to a crawling close (cause all my confidants and stats are getting maxed out) and i'm not sure how to feel about that. on one hand i love finishing games so i can delete them off my drive but on the other hand... i'm having fun?? this is fun.

i love/hate handsome detective prince akechi™
he's a giant douche, but these are my weakness as well.......

is it weird that the only thing going through my mind right now is "can i put the swimwear costume on akechi, and how naked will he be"
anime is destroying society

AKECHI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

loved the real ending. this was honestly one of the most enjoyable games i've ever played.

MAR 4-10
make that bd card thing
finish persona 5
city (money; carpet cleaner, deodorant, disinfectant, )

MAR 11-17
ivan bd (15)
premium ends that week
sort ps4 games

MAR 18-24
ah frick this week wasn't productive at all...

I can't decide if you're wearing me out
or wearing me well
I just still feel like I'm
condemned to wear someone else's hell
MAR 25-31
finish sk sv
start (finish???) danganronpa 2 [man you ever just play a game and do nothing else? I think i almost dehydrated during that, haha... next time if doing something time - consuming like that I have to put up some limits, otherwise I'll seriously damage my body again]
get a grip™

APR 1-7
p4!!, bd
[danganronpa 2] more trophies (prolly won't manage all, but i want to at least give it a shot) :joy, but with blood instead of tears: i love teruteru so much

APR 8-14
LF courses, fill gaps - the selection!!! is!! great!!!!
shopping
finish akiba strip

APR 15-21
new game list (as recent one should be too cluttered by then; readied, will post closer to end)
capitalism homework

and every day that you wake is
a gift that you take from the gods

blood eagle will set the wicked free

a poet to die and you'll fall in love
with a hero in the fire

no brain, no heart, just rotting legacy
all the little stab wounds in that ego scream lobotomy

follow the stars to the place where we used to lay

now all we care for is blood and satellites

---

HAIL STAN slaps. i love this record.

it's only smiles breaks my heart

crush is ??????? what happened??? ITS SO COOL. the electricity, spencers voice, and the violins /// the outro???

i got my heliovice used in satellites!!!!! aFtEr sO mAnY yEaRs

---

i love the prayer tree event but since i got the sapphire skin I got nothing else that's good?? i'm wasting my diamonds on this every time, the consolation prizes are trash

i have a feeling that i need to revise my main team but i love all these girls too much and i can't just replace them now can I
>:'[

i'm slowly running out of hunts to do and I'm,
not sure what to do about that
i'm def not ready for another actual sm hunt yet ///

YANDHI out in june/july???!!

my break is almost over but I' m just wasting all my free time
help pls

i picked up yugioh again and I just
want a good zombie deck or a lightsworn one
~~~

★handheld (3ds + psvita)
-pokemon white i went into this expecting to hate this one, but i ended up liking this one a lot. I didn't realize how cool some of the pokemon look, also n is an absolute cutie
-senran kagura bon appetit i love this franchise to death. all the girls are too cute
-demon gaze HOO BOY where do I begin. Cute rpg title, took me far too long to complete. Heavily relies on rng, a lot of bosses are broken. BUT I liked it enough to be excited for the second one!
-danganronpa 3 I liked the twists and turns a lot. I have to admit that it was the weakest one for me, but maybe that's just due to me being used to the games now. The only thing I preferred in this one were the trials, the gameplay is a lot more user friendly and the questions more clear (translation team?) anyway, even with liking the franchise, if this is actually the last entry in the series I'm good, it was a fitting end
-monster monpiece cute!!! monster girls!!!! but honestly the difficulty increases suddendly and then the game becomes somewhat challenging, apart from that it's pretty easy and fun
-touch my katamari hahahahahahAHAH I NEED A PS4 TITLE OF THIS
-riddled corpses fun! twin stick shooters might be a genre I want to explore a lot more
-my big sister surprisingly dark. I enjoyed it, even if it only makes sense at the end. It was cute

★ps4:
-final fantasy xii liked that one a lot! really ignited my hunger to play more final fantasy-titles. say about the games what you want but the world-building is something else.
-monster hunter: world finally slayed this beast of a game. it took me ages to get into it, but now i consider it fun enough to keep playing. if i should ever find fellow ps4-people who won this game i could have a lot of fun in the multiplayer
-bioshock 2 I liked that one more than the first and I'm excited for the last one!
-bioshock infinite confusing mess. it looks great, ngl, but it was a bit weaker than the other games in my opinion. coulda been named something else than bioshock and might've been better
naruto shippuden ninja storm
--ninja storm uh yeah, more of that! It was fun, and there's so much stuff to do in there, I might consider completing the 'true ending' and all that good stuff. But that cycle with kimimaro........ where you have to fight him 5 times in a row, and then awakened...... bruh
-senran kagura: peach beach splash gay
-dark souls 2 cool. maybe not as challenging as the 3rd one, but maybe I just didn't encounter all the really hard bosses there
-god of war 3 I'm more than impressed. I loved the cinematography in this. The views and camera angles made the whole experience even more interesting. The violence was grossly enticing, too. That game was fun.
-hollow knight i went in liking this and boy it didn't dissapoint. I loved and hated this at the same time, if i wouldn't suck at platforming this hard I probably would declare this my favourote l game ever. art and music are exceptional.
-soma I watched this some years back, and playing this myself was really something else. It's less terrifying and more unsettling, especially if you think about it's implications about living forever. It's a good one, short, I recommend it if you got two evenings to kill and feel for some creepiness
-slime rancher ahh this was absolutely adorable. probably can sink hundreds of hours into this, but I won't haha
-lords of the fallen a review of this game called this "dark souls with streamlined difficulty", and I couldn't agree more. It was alright, nice experience, but I wouldn't want to play this again just for fin.
-ABZU short, beautiful and thought provoking like my crush
-catherine fullbody YEAH i want more of this, I'll try to get more endings there! I cried and I laughed a lot. I might have a crush on roderick, too
-riddled corpses ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
-super weekend mode can't tell if this is easy and I'm just slow or if this is difficult. easy trophies here hehe

★misc:
-outlaw (1) the edge. over the top, it was cute.
-korosu (2) dAMN that was hard. Didn't expect to have to level up to 80 for this. But it was cute, nice ending. Excited for the last one
-cawps (3) finished! I really hope chris rose is doing great, and continues to make games/hacks

survived the very first week.
never imagined myself going back to school regularly. I come home everday exhausted, but not the bad kind. At least i'm doing something with my time, right?
Still not able to open my mouth, and when i do it's incoherent babbling. I'm already dreading all the presentations i got coming up in july.
Currently on new meds for my skin, worked wonders honestly, but it's making me feel really weak, packs quite a punch. Also not allowed to drink a lot of milk during therapy, which sucks. A little worried that I'll fall back once I stopped taking anything, but I guess I gotta wait and see for now. (started 25/4)
I got so much to read now, I'm not sure when to do all that. I'm really challenging myself with this schedule haha

I gotta relax. I'm worrying a lot, it's what my mind does when unoccupied. And I don't think it leads me anywhere.

---

pardon me while I burst into flames
time doesn't wait for me these days. everythings happening so fast, it's scary. most things stay the same, just... time is running out somehow. it's hard to explain honestly, i hope things will slow down a bit soon.

---

she looks like fun

---

[10/5] currently feeling sorta creatively drained. Doing something other than homework is getting me worked up so much. can't be bothered to play games, everything feels annoying. writing has halted. i just feel... apathetic towards life.

bruh i'm so gay for daidoji
i don't know what to do anymore
why is there no sexy fighting l game with male characters?? [if there is pm me pls]
(++remind me to do a crush list some time in the future, for research)

in the academy shopping event is a joan skin I NEED, but knowing my luck i'm not able to get it and it upsets me so much
breaks my heart and my bank.
i even spent my prayer tree savings haha,,,,,,,,
edit: i didn't get it,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I really wanna finish monster hunter in the following week, so i can finish some smaller games for disk space reasons. i'm seriously running out of games i need/want to buy, amazingly enough. even entering the stage where i want to replay old games.
I don't have that much time these days, but i still want to keep gaming as my main hobby.

the danganronpa 2 intro ost SLAPS
it slaps so hard it revived me
this game has a special place in my heart

you know, on some days I wake up and i just want to stop existing. just like that. relieve myself of all my responsibilities and ties and just die.
it's a very selfish thought, so just thinking about it for a bit longer i realize that i have to be strong, for the few people that rely on me.
it could be so easy. it's tantalising to just imagine it. but i have a feeling that's not what life is about.

so apparently there are some new skins
VERY PRETTY SKINS
of girls I have maxed out and like.
this is sad because skins cost me a months income.
good news first: I managed to get this thicc cutie


alas, onwards to my pain. the sapphire skin hurts me the most, because it looks super cute /////




pay to win baby. I'm sad.

Exactly what you run from, you end up chasing. Like, you can't avoid the, the chasing it, and just like trying, giving it everything that you can, there's always an obstacle.
Sometimes you gotta close a door to open a window.
But at some point you come to your senses. I don't know what's harder, letting go or being okay with it. I hate wasting potential. That sht crushes your spirit, it really does. It crushes your soul.

IGOR sounds awesome, remind me to get all other tyler records.
so hard to describe, but the album sounds like falling in love feels like
it's so funky. reminds me of the last gorillaz record, THE NOW, NOW
sorta dreamish, unreal, emotional.

ha ❤

---

me: Hoh man I have so much free time, I can finally do all that work I wanted to do ages ago! Draw! Sort my folders! Write! Clean! Read!
me:
me:
me: i should go to sleep early

---

you can't play this game and host all the pieces
hold your breath and just wait
someone else will pay for your sins


she stole my heart
and i can't even use her because she's a nature valkyre

and this babe better be easily obtainable


same thing, in a room / sitting by myself, finding heaven soon / many things that will trouble you / look beyond for a feeling like you never knew / reaching out hunting for the truth / i'm guessing i'm just sick of running / all this time searching hard for something / i can hear the angels coming

prayer tree event with good prizes BUT you actually want to wait for the right medal drop
i want karaxes so baddd
lil moth girl
edit
I GOT HER

there's this danganronpa trilogy at my local tech mart and i
i want to possess it
so i've decided to gift the thing to myself when my grades are good
:333

do you know who has got a blood awakening? bud elf
do you know who doesn't have one?
SAPPHIRE

also serpent available in bingo, are you kidding me
how am i supposed to get that ///////
edit
of course I got it what was I thinking, obessing over things always helps



i wonder if there's a way to cure your own laziness. I guess 'lazy' is almost too harsh, considering I sometimes do work my butt off for extra credit and stuff, but there's this motivational void that sometimes opens a rift in my soul and
and then I'm just not able to do anything anymore
like i remember being fire and ash for a writing project and created all these very cool characters
but i ended up just having a few chapters and nebulous ideas now. I just can't stick to it, i'm not able to.
thinking about trying out some literature for that, idk. maybe other people went through the same thing and know what to do

you only say that you want me
when I'm upside down, upside down

tranz is such a good? song?? i can't get bored of it

even if i manage to spend my whole break gaming (5h/d) i'd only manage to finish 10 medium long games
and that is just ridiculous, considering that i have 20+ waiting for me, not to mention the replay list.

it has been a while since I was dead set on finishing a game like that. man, i woke up this morning and my first thought was 'i need to play ff12'

the super danganronpa execution music is one of the greatest things i've ever heard
killing never sounded this
epic

welcome to my ted talk
helpful translation chart
............... = quiet tension, no movement
,,,,,,,,,,,,,, = nervousness to a higher degree, a little movement
///////////// = max tension, (state of emergency,) a lot of movement