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Forum Thread

Lei's Leitmotif

Forum-Index Diaries Lei's Leitmotif
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 08/06/2018 06:59 (5 Years ago)

mandalas in my coffee


du u evn lyft bruh


page 8 of "hey please help me" - the official book™ to the movie™



names I still want to use on mons here
(closer projects have names already)

havel
dolores


wc10 npc decks that are kinda nice (x)
(still keeping the zombie madness deck for now though)
Roy's Treasure
the friken princess pikeru deck (Cure Princess)
the turf boss samurai deck
WIZARD DECK FROM THAT LIL BICHT
that kid in the duel card shop, that dragon deck

~well here's me, beating the game with the turbo starter deck and zombie madness


ok but why do the pokemon boss themes go so hARD
dAMN recon squad battle theME (x)


egoraptor looking son
(also rip robin my bro, always in my heart
let's pretend you died a heroes death)
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Mon, 11/06/2018 06:01 (5 Years ago)

ghost town



the most beautiful thoughts are always besides the darkest

mind hurts
body hurts
soul hurts

I done had a bad case
of too many bad days
got too many bad traits
used the floor for ashtrays




Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sat, 16/06/2018 18:06 (5 Years ago)

mind gutter

mid june

bites found an egg in rumble and it turned out to be a zubat
13.6.18 bites son nibble was born


sorry for more negative posts, I'll just rather keep this here

periphery 2018/19?
self-titled (I)
Icarus
this time it's personal (II)
Clear
Juggernaut Alpha/Omega
select difficulty (III)

[it's modular]
[the price is wrong]

haunted shores audio bliss aaah (x)

ow my feelings tabs (x)


is emptiness better than pain
I can't tell if I'd rather feel everything
or nothing at all
Waltz
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Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Wed, 20/06/2018 13:00 (5 Years ago)

vectors



actual learning season started & all finals in less than a month

No new posts til it's over, this is the catching post for whenever something roams in my head
I'm on a time crunch rn and I hope things turn out alright. Since I'm sm hunting anyways I wanna split my love around an be here a little less.

Show hidden content
I keep repeating the mantra that my material is actually very interesting and worth my time, but in the back of my mind I have the fact that yugioh wc10 takes almost 100 hours of gameplay and I just want to finish it after almost a decade of it collecting dust
So many great games collecting (digital) dust, it's a small scale tragedy.
I know for a FACT that when I finally have time I won't be able to touch them again, haha,, Until I've finished UM there will be a new pokemon game out ///

jack atlas is very cute and I hate that he makes me want to watch the 5ds anime
"In the English dub, Jack has a British cockney accent"
SKDJAAODJGUISAH

when I actually sit down and do what I'm supposed to do I'm surprisingly efficient. I finished a third of my essay in a sitting just by turning the internet off.

exams have the same exact format like last year uff, thank god. Something different would have messed my learning up

green cola tastes just like cola light

my reverse of arcadia mc is such a blast, his edge is so enjoyable and I just can't give him another deck but the zombie one. Maybe I'll give him a fabled deck for his speed deck though
-final attack - "accept your loss."
-victory - "I win. But I know I would."
-loss - ".................."
-when ahead - "Amateur." (this made me laugh so hard on the train, I was fighting princess pikeru and she just said something like "oh no... I'll lose >~<" and my dude just like stone cold: "amateur" and it was perfect)
-partner takes huge damage - "Glad that wasn't me."

"snuff" is about a man with depression who loves a woman but knows it won't last so he pushes her away so she doesn't get hurt later on [citation needed, I have other theories]

day 1564, I finally found out that brown noise is the best background music for me because it just draws out everything else and that's what I needed

clean sounding guitars will be the end if me

god faba is so cute too aaaa

gorillaz - the now now
starts funky, 2d vocals, hell yea
vibrating, sadish synths
"moody"
dreamy, "echoey"

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt


artsu (june)
Show hidden content
my corrupted duelist son


another attempt


gaige


kelani


shii


trixie



I've been trying to make you love me
But everything I try just takes you further from me
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Wed, 18/07/2018 10:00 (5 Years ago)

too much clout



failed by the skin of my teeth.

recover, remaster, rewind. It's rough but I got one final chance.
paper thesis is due in august, I haven't even started yet. But at least that's it with the exams til the retest in october.

I need new motivation, a second wind. I feel exhausted.



need to manage breaktime, things to read/watch/listen:

» gronkh: new grim tales (running strong), maybe something else

» nietzsche works relating to paper thesis (genealogy of moral), book already home


Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 20/07/2018 06:30 (5 Years ago)

lock and load



last years time capsule: 7th July 2017

20th July 2018

I feel lovesick without a target, help

I have a rap phase rn and I have no clue why, currently "this is america" is stuck in my head

Kanye singing on "ghost town" gives me so much frickin life, it's really beautiful and I'm so happy that he got this good

mark holcomb posted a picture of him and his wife with the caption "three years ago I married my best friend" and I'm just genuinely happy for him?? It's very wholesome.

just not touching or picking my skin has yielded the best results so far, take notes future lei

all the stories I write start happy and nice but turn dark and depressing every time and half the cast dies

I simply love the new gorillaz artstyle, 2d looks hella cute in "humility"

anthony fantano speaks straight from my soul sometimes

old pokemon games are very hard to complete, how did I manage them as a child ??

there are meme formats that crack me up more than they should and I hate it


well that was a short one
this time my thoughts being the least of my problems, so there's not a bunch to say I guess. Didn't change much in a year unfortunately. Kinda only gained a few new obsessions on top of the old ones. Still didn't do a few things I wanted to do from a year ago.
Back when I wasn't even in university yet, and I had no work experience. Good times
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Wed, 25/07/2018 06:00 (5 Years ago)

post-waltz



why not put your notes on a piece of paper in the privacy of your home?
uWu

- make serious plans for when hunt remains unsuccessful;
continue as long as I got tall grass eggs. If they run out start thundurus on 2x day after that

- (amazon) shopping list;
*think about getting a ps4 til mid august?? borderlands prequel and tekken 7 are on sale, maybe even more that I didn't check yet (total at about 350 bucks though, check gamestop and local tech mart for price differences?)
*stardew valley and danganronpa 1 for psvita (25 bucks, can get as soon as saturday)
*that 30 can pack again? >|3 (15 bucks)
[probs spendings (if I buy everything) at about 500 bucks]
edit has to wait, waiting for last exam results still and I've got no money left for now

considered done




look how ominous it reads haha



from what I gathered, philosophy means "love of wisdom".
I really did pick the wrong major for me. I hate wisdom, it's annoying to find out about existential tussles people before you were having as well.
Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and they're right. You don't need to ponder about some things, they should be left unacknowledged. Life's more challenging if you know more about the moral fiber of people and it's facettes.
I'm tired of thinking, I wish I could forget.
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 03/08/2018 18:51 (5 Years ago)

souk eye



[pläcëhöldër ✓ - to do for holidays]

+ bitter valentine (update list if I get the psn card) that's a lot of content x.x no new games unless sale hits now
attacking this, goal is to get a chunk of these off my list before school stuff starts for real

+ paper (end august [made a detailed plan on my desk])
- grouping
- nietzsche points and kallikles points (try to find relation); if not enough, put in chap 3 (if unclear, notify prof and get more literature [soon!])
- summarize genealogy, summerize gorgias
- write?? actually only missing kallikles, the comparison and the end. Should be doable this week+a few days to spell, grammar and punctuationcheck, read, add more content if I don't reach 10 pages (minus head and summary)
-read through the final version again after some time has passed to see if it's still consistent ; if it's okay, send it (20-25th of august)
my son was sent away
my son is a loser


-be free for almost a month. No school stuff, no studying, just getting my own plans done (aka finishing games and lounging around)
this has started now (24 aug)

-hope for a final answer on that exam?? So I know when the exact retake+room is
11.10.2018 | 12:00 | Gr. HS Bismarckstr. 1a
cool beans


+foodweek-shoppe (start september) when flat is empty, so I don't have to leave the house all week
edit; looks like I have to leave the house at least once, will be tough to carry everything if I shop for 10 days
Show hidden content
[collecting items until I have to go (3 sep)]

already bought:
2x ramen
1x tomato soup
1x krupuk
4x beer
1x lemonade
6x water
1x small pizza
1x milk
1x cornflakes
1x jellyo
1x tchak tchak
2x kefir
if I wasn't half dead during vacation I actually could have enjoyed this

+after that, do some "back to school" things like (15-20 sep)
edit: weekend 15-16 for this, shopping whenever permitted
-see what courses I need and pick accordingly
checked and bookmarked, there are time issues, unsure what to do. Sign-ups start on the 1st of oct so I'll see there
WHAT IS THIS MESS
HOW WILL I SURVIVE 8 COURSES
HNGG

-get course material for these
-check if I got some kind of notebook/homeworkbook/planer(!)
after retake; edit: got everything

considered done

Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sat, 11/08/2018 19:11 (5 Years ago)

not enough mana



~recent musings~

gDI I'm such a slow writer it's sad, one chapter takes more than two days, it's ridiculous. I need to focus more on that and get nietzsche done as he's more advanced than frikkin plato

started a new game of borderlands 2 and so far I'm quite happy with zer0, but I'm looking forward to the dlc the most. It's so much content anyways haha

tekken 7 is a throwback to every older tekken game and I love that, but the chara stories are fairly short. Normally it takes ages to complete every story but I could do that in one afternoon now x.x I hope there's more

part of me kinda,, wants to play either a final fantasy or kingdom hearts game,,,, I lent kh2 to ivan but I haven't even finished the first one myself, I could also tackle ffx as I got that one sitting around ... I could alSO by any of the games in the psn store,, gah. Idk I just want to get completely absorbed by a game

new digimon game on sale, but I can't buy everything I'm already broke. Either get that, or fallout 4, or [insert when I see more interesting stuff] OR CHILL WITH THE STUFF YOU ALREADY HAVE

end of september means getting back to school stuff, studying for retakes and selecting new subjects (maybe earlier, gotta check)

future lei: vaseline is best on acid burns, everything else irritates more

"Haiku poems consist of 3 lines. The first and last lines of a Haiku have 5 syllables and the middle line has 7 syllables. The lines rarely rhyme"

Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 17/08/2018 12:57 (5 Years ago)

to reach elation

shiny thundurus hunt



(1 Shiny hatched in total.)

Congratulations! A shiny Thundurus hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #61)!



26.5 the safari & box were full (50 eggs)
have even more summons now
his name will be heliovice (after the periphery song)

milestones:
Show hidden content



missed this child


safari chain broken by accident on #50

child


reached max chance; the main problem now is gathering safari eggs

shiny mother and child


left with a few summons, selling the rest. If another shiny hatches, selling it. If not, it doesn't matter



hunt ended on the 30th of august '18


Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Mon, 27/08/2018 09:15 (5 Years ago)

hydrogen




eyy this diary reached 10k clicks | post #777
even though I'm pretty sure most of them are from me haha



now that I actually finished a lot of the games I had started in the past I can't bring myself to start the other ones, for whatever reason. I have a mix of high expectations, respect and fear and for them.
BUT I'm also looking forward to get lost in them,,,,,,,, someone please help me understand these feelings
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 31/08/2018 06:10 (5 Years ago)

untitled


space to cry about video games (and other things I'm invested in at the moment)
Show hidden content
I hate myself so much for liking prompto the most aaaaa what's wrong with me
he's just,, bubbly and cute and it's too muchhh

yosuke is too cute and pure for anything and I want to own him even if I don't need his arcana

if kanji keeps behaving like a young kiriwar I will die

my team will be a no girls zone, yosuke can heal us,,

just accidentally spoiled myself and now death is imminent
he will get every drop of love just so I know what happens

also yu might be the first protagonist who I think is genuinely hottish,,, HE IS UP THERE OK

why are the girls in this game so annoying- not that far into it but so far yikes

he is beauty, he is grace

kanji is such a dimwit i love himmmmmm

I'll stare the angels down
keep them in the back room
Shut the door and let go


kanjis voice drives me nuts.......................... @u@

I can't remember the last time I felt like this, I'm giggling and grinning all over. This is great/awful. I can already tell that I'll be devastated once the game's finished........

I want to eat him

My heart inside is constantly hating
I'm sorry
I just throw you away


I've been playing without a pause, I should take a break once in a while ahah,, (now maxed out with kou, kanji and yosuke though)

I feel iffy about advancing now, feels like I'd find out something I don't want to know soon x.x

memorable lines:
"I'm all yours." - when switching tactics to commands only
"PERRRSONAA!!" - when using his persona
"LIE DOWN AND DIE ALREADY!" - when his hit didn't kill the shadow
"Cheers."- when healed (light damage)

important

JUST PASSING THROUGH
NOT STOPPING BY
NOT SAYING HI
GIRL YOU CAN'T KILL A LIAR
GIRL YOU CAN'T KILL A LIAR
GIRL YOU CAN'T KILL A LIAR
GIRL YOU CAN'T KILL A LIAR
GIRL YOU CAN'T KILL A LIAR


I got the bad ending and I'm completely shocked. I'm all empty inside and nothing makes sense

at least kanji and naoto aren't a thing now tho lmao
and if they are you can just kill me again



Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Tue, 11/09/2018 05:20 (5 Years ago)

tension


activity kinda dropped, need to see if I still want to stay here,,
comprehensive list of ph stuffs I still wanna do:

-mienfoo hunt
-gible hunt (longer? sm??)
-festival garde m (maybe save up nuggets for it or wait for a sale?)
-oricorio eggdizes



-not as fast with the gaming completion list as I wanted to be. Trying to finish the sony collection mid sep (~15th) and finish ffxv and borderlands 2 until school starts (oct 15th) ~ other games optional, but welcome

-digital calendar:
*week SEP asdf-16; finished sony collection, focus on borderlands and ffxv? pick 5th game?
*week SEP 17-23 okie so I'm the lazee,, but seriously I have no idea how to finish my started projects with my current attitude. sunday for finalizing the schedule so I can call he admins monday (24th)
*week SEP 24-30 left with thief and ff xv. Maybe start pokemon after that (as treat game for studying?) ; editorino: thief is done, ff is next, pokemon already started as well. At this tempo I could consider starting something else too. Also everything about the courses seems cleared up, even though I'm not getting into all the ones I wanted ; LAST EDIT: actually finished my list, whoo! Next days are more focused on school, but that doesn't mean I can't play games right ///
*week OCT 1-7 studying week! games as treat only! sign up for courses (1st) (two chapters/day) my new schedule is an absolute messsss
*week OCT 8-14 studying! test on thursday (11th)
im one frightened bean now
*OCT 15; start of WS

completed



-still time to play when school has started, though not 6h/ea like now haha,,

-maybe make list of games I'd still like to try out but only when the current games are fairly completed

- game priority: mood/file size/game time?


Show hidden content
I would die for a periphery x carpenter brut collab

I feel so hurt and would love to cheer up but I had to realize that my music and game library both are kinda depressing. Once again I'd just like to stop feeling anything for some time ugh.

I can see the devil closing in
I choke the breath that dies to cry for help
I feel the pull of gravity
I bleed no more and rise again
I lost it all
Carry me through this world alive
I feel no more this suffering
Bury me in this cold light
I feed the wolf and shed my skin

Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Sat, 22/09/2018 18:48 (5 Years ago)

pale aura


22/9/18
yet he squanders the life he leads
diary entry thing. Just my thoughts right now ;

Show hidden content
me: I love horror games, I wanna play some more when I got the time
me: *plays game that turns into horror game midpoint*
me:
me: OH GOD I DONT WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE NOW I SEE SHADOWY FIGURES EVERYWHERE AND JUMP AT EVERY SOUND

my social ineptitude has led me to pass up a once in a lifetime opportunity and I'm so mad at myself rn, this could've been great

I love making plans but I can't stick to them, I always stray away from them. This is the bane of my existence

I wanna go back to school and I don't wanna go back to school. This might be an invalid statement but it's true,,

Even after 2 months pause I still look like a drug addict, life is great

sorted all the songs on my phone, keeping a warm space for the new periphery lp ////that better come out this year, grabby hands//
I didn't go through every new album yet (i fear that bands i love suck all of a sudden) but the kanye stuff and the new marilyn manson record were "lit fam"
also got my hands on the deathgrips discography, if I like it after getting through it I throw those in too

why gible? The shiny mega makes my eyes bleed and the eggs from the gem collector are not affordable. (real deal though: ok natured tall grass shiny/mega able as a goal) maybe it bothers me a little that I already have numberwang but eh, they'll get along
Quote from no idea what happened thereBy PokéRadar - 2 Minutes and 34 Seconds ago.
Congratulations! A shiny Gible hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #135)!
By PokéRadar - 3 Minutes and 49 Seconds ago.
Congratulations! A shiny Gible hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #134)!
By PokéRadar - 5 Minutes and 48 Seconds ago.
Congratulations! A shiny Gible hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #131)!


Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Thu, 27/09/2018 15:00 (5 Years ago)

pourquoi j'men souviens


we're given a garden and gave back a parking lot

mood

Show hidden content

I can't even really describe it; I feel restless, chased. Not able to relax.
Whatever I do, it feels like I'm wasting time. Like I'm on a constant time crunch.
Sleep feels like my only release. But I can't sleep 16 hours a day... I just want to know what's wrong with me.
I can't go outside, or speak in full sentences. Not anymore. I've withdrawn completely, I have no courage left.

there's no pardon for a meddling soul
somewhere in time we welcomed in the fall; now in the distance I can see shining clear, our demise to be: we're not listening to ourselves



WHY DOES BURNLEY SOUND THIS GREAT EVEN LIVE, ITS NOT FAIR ♡♡
wise men wonder while strong men die

so cold makes me think of a crush I once had, weird how some songs retain their meaning even after all these years. Hurts to listen in, but I seriously love the song, it's one of these tracks that paint a picture on your head, a scenario, have a story.

These are probably the best and worst songs to have as favourite tracks. (on the top of my head I can also think of trash, diamond on a landmine, ow my feelings, shallow bay, blood on the leaves, vacances de '87, shiver, halleluja, roter sand, I don't care, absolution calling, ...)



found some of my old writing, sad to say that I always wrote half a novel and then stop at 20k words, because I went all chaotic with the situation. I wonder if I can salvage any of the writing and finish it, but it has some kinda messed up things in it I can't even remember I ever thought of. My attention is also very short, I start out like a writing addict and then drop the project after some weeks, so I can just imagine the rest without writing it down.



two weeks of holidays left.
I got a lot done, now there's really only studying, passing that one exam and starting out school left for me to do. No clue what to do if I don't pass. I don't have any plan b, and I don't know if failing this is actually game-breaking. Though two weeks should be enough to get that material internalized, right?

Finished a lot of games these months, everything I wantes to even. These stories will be with me for the rest of my life now, I tend to take these experiences with me. Persona 4 fake ending, the real hatoful boyfriend route, final fantasy xv, one shot, kingdom hearts, and more that still mess with me when I think about them. New music I gathered during this break too, some more cheerful tunes.

The year is almost over, even. Hard to believe, last years new years eve feels like it was just a few weeks ago. Time really flies when you get older...
ahh just pouring my blood into this diary aren't I.
I'm lonely haha



just say it out loud to see how it feels
people say, "don't say this, don't say that"
just say out loud, just to see how it feels
weigh all the options, nothing's off the table

today I thought about killing you, premeditated murder



NOTE
MISHA AND JAKE DID A SPIN OFF PERIPHERY THING
SPACE
"FOUR SECONDS AGO"

IM NOT CRYING UR CRYING

Airy synths entwine with a hummable guitar melody as Jake’s breathy vocal musings transfix. Taking its title from a comic book narcotic of the same name, “Fadeaway” immediately intoxicates. [...]

SOMEONE HOLD ME PLEASE


///fangirls to space//
Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Wed, 03/10/2018 05:30 (5 Years ago)

galaxies


whaat, a post considering ph? well well
-alright, rush of feeling kinda good, so I decided to plan some ph stuffs for the future
-for now just stick to the gibles until I don't want to anymore haha
-will update if I find more (deoxys is more of a passion thing, I always liked the thing, but hunting legends with the daycare is a pain)

mean green bean man



[☆☆☆]
✶deoxys
✶golett
✶autumn mareep (+mega able?)

[sup]
✶collect nuggets for more premium (christmas sale?)
✶brace self for ub release

update 'bitter valentine' after halloween sale (edit; halloween sale came kinda early but I still have credit left, so I'll just add the games to the new list. now update when pp:mh [one whole afternoon] and borderlands sp [3 days] are done)

done, cause deoxys can wait



_______
 |  ⓖⓐⓨ  |
 |___ ___|
     ∨
    ∧_∧
   (*゜∀゜)
   (   )
    し`J

    ∧_∧   / ̄ ̄ ̄
  ( ・д・)< ⓝⓞ ⓤ
  _φ___⊂)__ \___
/旦/三/ /|
Show hidden content
with every day the exam is getting closer I have less motivation to study, mostly because I feel that I'm not having a good enough grip on the material. I just hope I can power through this somehow.
I'm thinking of other things these days, studying is none if em. It's boring too.
No idea how to continue all this, I'm not the type just to drift off into uncertainty.
Not anxious, but uneasy.

and every step that I aim to take
I fall behind
and every leg that I have to break
these scars are mine
and everyday that I'd pray for you
I close my eyes
at least I can say that we made it through
the stars aligned




suffering from constant fatigue these days (even though I barely did anything), and fell asleep while reading and playing games. After checking it might be iron shortage? I'll give that a try I guess, did lose some blood too.
But it was never this bad, as long as I'm just lounging around I can stay awake, but these past days I felt narcoleptic. Just hoping it's not the caffeine withdrawal, haven't had a lot im a while but planned to drink some soonish.
((tl;dr, note down what helps/makes it worse; just one week left until school really starts and you need to be in top form lei. classes from 10 til 19? Well that's your own fault ///)))



stop lights are swaying and the phone lines are down, floor is crackling cold. she took my heart, I think she took my soul. with the moon I run, far from the carnage of the fiery sun
driven by the strangle of vein, showing no mercy, I'd do it again. open up your eyes, you keep on crying, baby, I'll bleed you dry. skies are blinking at me, I see a storm bubbling up from the sea
you who shook my bone, leaving me stranded all in love on my own. do you think of me? where am I now? baby, where do I sleep? feels so good, but I'm old, two thousand years of chasing taking it's toll

Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 12/10/2018 06:24 (5 Years ago)

threats of romance


three month break is over, I feel rusty.
more of a gushing post, I'm just happy that exams are done for this year, even if I didn't pass yet. I was very nervous but in the end I studied more than I ever have for anything, ever haha

Show hidden content
now I can only brace myself for what's to come, but I'm honestly kinda looking forward to the new courses?? new mindsets and ideas to discover and meditate on, that's exactly what I wanted from university.
less time to play naturally, but I'll fit it in somehow. ph is really only on hold if I have exams/papers. with some plans (re-)discovered I decided to stay here anyways :³

I have to finalize my timetable for the semester yet, I'm worried about having extra full days, but I guess it could be worse.
I'm trying to stay positive, and don't drop myself into some abyss of depression. same old story really, but I'm just so tired of myself breaking away from everything and everybody when my mood turns blue. I'm just making things harder on myself

currently stuck on 'larger' games, it's hard to complete it in a good time while enjoying as much of it as I can. I guess I have to slow down for some games cause they're too awesome to be just rushed through (talking about you, witcher 3)

should I get my sister something for her birthday? she doesn't deserve it at all but I also don't feel like being the dink of the party again |D maybe browse some amazon and find something she might like (or just get her some vg, I can judge these things a bit better)
edit; that lil frog just wants cash from me

but now I feel your stress

le perv still goes mad dumb aaa a a

OH GOD SO VIRGIL IS NEROS DAD
AND DANTE ACTUALLY GETS OLDER
SO HOW OLD IS HE IN THE 4TH, 60???
IM DEAD

note to future lei;
sangria is super tasty but don't drink it in the morning, you'll be a depressed sack all day



is this what heartbreak feels like
haha,
just kinda moody lyrics from here on out;

one thing I know is for certain
we cannot have all we want
still this will not stop the hurting, it is never gone
now I hold on to the one thing
too fragile to stand on its own
the fortress we built it is crumbling, still I can’t let go
I can’t let you go

-----
but then our star rushes in
feeling like a child and looking like a woman
she has been forecast with an attempt to kill herself
but the ending didn't test well

-----
you'll sing to the dirt, praying for the break of dawn
night will bring the presence of a ravenous demon setting out to terrify
soul destructive like imploding stars
there's nothing but the darkness to guide the way
there's nothing left inside

-----
light the way and let me go
suffocate inside
I will break and watch you crawl
bury me alive


Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Tue, 16/10/2018 17:30 (5 Years ago)

listening post alpha


motivational post for depressive episodes
reasons why I shouldn't just euthanize myself:

✪mark x jake project
✪kanye west for president 2020
✪haven't completed a few important games yet
✪didn't read all of blakes stuff yet
✪i haven't travelled enough (I want to see japan, finland, scottland ,...)
✪still need to learn the (bass) guitar
✪didn't eat sashimi yet
✪haven't seen breaking benjamin or periphery live yet
✪didn't write a book yet
✪mischief makers remake
✪elder scrolls VI
✪the german va for snake in mgs I
✪byakuya togami

✧⁺⸜(●˙▾˙●)⸝⁺✧

Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Tue, 23/10/2018 20:00 (5 Years ago)

paradise warfare


☆games list

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★3ds:
-ultra moon woah this... was surprisingly a lot harder than I expected. I had issues of getting wiped out quite a couple of times. fun nonetheless, I will attack the after credits stuff somewhen else
-tloz - a link between worlds cute! kinda torn between being to easy and to hard, but other than that I had fun
-fairune cute! a little tricky at times, but cute
-brave dungeon kinda makes me wanna play pokemon mystery dungeon haa

★psvita:
-danganronpa fun!! really didn't expect the end. overall it was a mixed bag but the storytelling and characters were exceptional. My child byakuya is returning in the second part ((((((accidentally spoiled myself))) so i'm actually looking forward to it!
-amnesia I might not be the right demographic for this anymore lmao. It made me realize that, even after loving dating sims/otome games for years, I don't enjoy them anymore. like, at all. It was painful to get through one characters full route set and I decided to stop there. Am i getting old?? cynical?? did my taste somehow change? I feel so weird about this, i never felt this way about a genre, ever.
-danganronpa 2 like the first one, i DEVOURED this game. it took me 35 hours/3 days almost nonstop but it was so worth it :foams at the mouth: loved it.
-senran kagura shinovi versus tfw a game has a lot more content than you ever expected. but man the girls backstories kept me going, it's so hard to choose a favourite now. Also loving that engine and the graphics.

★ps4:
-witcher 3 very good game. one of my favourites of all time if i say so myself - though getting the bad ending was not my intention and now it leaves a bad taste in my mouth ;;
-diablo III you wanna run around and feel like a god? play this game as a necromancer ////
-farcry 4 aka outdoor simulator - civil war edition
-fallout 4 so yea, i got exactly what i expected, bethesda roleplaying wasteland simulator. I really tried focusing on the main story only, so there's endless stuff to explore still. if i decide to get the dlcs too, i could whack another 50 hours into this. liked this, not more than skyrim probs but it was still very cool
-dmc well, it kinda WAS a dmc 3 reboot, but the game itself as very nice. keeping it, i'll do this again on a harder difficulty someday. the gameplay is a lot of fun
-digimon world: next order finished, after all. mental note that digimon world =/= digimon game. fun nonetheless, but I'm glad i have this done
-child of light the game wasn't bad, but it felt like a chore since it wasn't at all what i wanted from it (expected a platformer, got some kind of rpg hybrid) I'm just glad it's done //
-layers of fear seen so many times, had to play it myself, solid, but nothing special.
-detention I'm in awe.
-bloodborne even more edgy dark souls. infuriating,but fun nonetheless
-persona 5 absolutely mindblowing. I'm hugeky impressed by the studio and all people involved, especially the voice actors
-dmc 4 same as always, though compared to dmc it was almost underwhelming. i love all the character designs and attacks and all that, it's always so creative, but the rest is... passable
-dark souls 3 quite honestly? it was very grating at times, but i wouldn't bat an eye and buy dark souls remastered when it's on sale. when i had fun, i had a lot of fun. it takes practice and is addicting, i broke some personal records there with playing 17 hours straight in one session // but music, design, gameplay? marvelous.
-senran kagura estival versus i love this game. case closed - fr though, it can get repetitive when playing it for too long, but other than that it's a great time-waster
-akiba's trip that was actually an interesting experience! more the visual novel with routes and all that than something like senran kagura (which i expected) might maybe pick it up again??
--bioshock 1 already watched it some years ago, but i think playing it for myself was def worth it. curious to see where the next game picks up!

☆this batch is considered done☆


Waltz
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Trainerlevel: 134

Forum Posts: 836
Posted: Fri, 26/10/2018 07:00 (5 Years ago)

cry of achilles


small diary entry before I head off, feel like writing it down/telling someone

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the periphery boys keep teasing with their new material, I can't wait to hear the full thing. So far everything sounds so clean and I can't wait ///

I thought I'd drown in my assignments and homework but I'm actually fine haha, if you sit down and just focus on the stuff you get alright well enough. One subjects mostly takes about 2 hours to prepare, which is a lot better than last semester. Too bad though that my greek is kinda rusty

currently also trying to learn japanese kanji (hiragana) in hopes of actually having that skill under my belt, ouf it's something else. Nothing like any of the languages I learned so far, but I'm taking the challenge. It won't hurt



I cannot seem to find the answers
Every truth has slipped away
All that riddles me will never cease to be
Still I search this world in vain

-----
never mind
emptiness
dead eyes and lost what you found
maybe, there on the edge is your hope
but you don't look down, why?

-----
if the world would fall apart
in a fiction worthy wind
I wouldn't change a thing
now that you're here

-----
woah
the other side made my heart skip a few beats and tightened my chest
jesus christ, the voicework and the guitars are just majestic
it's oOZING with passion

it's kinda hard being a member of society, i just can't imagine how people can leave their house everyday. I only have to go outside a few time a week but I'm still terrified of the thought, every day like that feels like I'm heading out to be hanged.
It's not even that bad, nothing even happens most of the time, but this anxiety I feel ties my guts into a knot. it's awful. at this rate it'll be hard to live a normal life.