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Danganronpa Roleplay [PRIVATE]
Forum-Index → Roleplay → Private RP → Danganronpa Roleplay [PRIVATE]
Posted: Wed, 05/04/2023 04:32 (1 Year ago)
Darcy Harper's POV
His hands and wrists were shaking
Shaking
Shaking
Sha...
The world felt blurry again. Blacks and whites and grays.
No color, no color. A grayscale landscape.
The 1930s movie was glitching
The sad music was playing
Violin I think
Why could Erica play the violin so well
Dear God
God help me
I think I'm dying
"Please... Don't leave me alone."
I don't want to be alone again
Everyone walked off to their happy ends
...
At the end of the rainbow there's happiness,
And to find it how often I've tried...
"Please... Idris, please.."
But my life is a race, just a wild goose chase...
And my dreams have all been denied...
He clutched at his own shoulders. Smile, smile. Force a smile.
It was more like a grimace. His nails, oh, his nails, clutching ever so tightly to himself...
It felt like knives pressed against his face. Hands against his neck
Choking
Choking
I'm fine.
The song kept playing.
"Can... We... Talk through this? About her?... A-About Mei?"
I'm fine.
I'm... Always chasing rainbows...
Watching clouds drifting by...
Mei, Mei was immortal. Mei was eternal.
She may have been... An... Interesting person, but she would not be forgotten.
Darcy reached out a hand to such a person who--
Such a person who
Gone.
She's gone. And it's your damn fault, Darcy.
So selfish.
My schemes are just like all my dreams, ending in the sky...
He tried. He tried so hard. To be perfect.
He never could be.
Someone else was always better.
I'll never be a good person...
Some fellows look and find the sunshine,
I always look and find the rain...
She didn't have a happy ending either, Darcy.
It's funny how the people who give the world so much end up dead anyway in the end.
Dead, dead, dead. And people will forget her too.
They'll forget you too.
Some fellows make a winning sometime,
I never even make a gain, believe me...
Erica. Erica. Erica.
Why am I never any good?
Why can't I be as good as you?
And it doesn't mean anything.
That you knocked yourself down and
I'm always chasing raaaaainbows...
Darcy took a deep breath...
"Waiting to find a little bluebird, iiiiin vaiiin..." he whispered inaudibly.
Lucian Arbred's POV
"Of course not... You'd never be just my dog..."
Ah god please please tell me he wasn't paying attention please forget about it ignore it don't
Wait why was
WHY WAS KUBO PULLING HIM CLOSER AND PUTTING HIS HANDS UPON HIS F-
--face.
Lucian completely blanked out of reality.
He was in a white room. A completely white room, with only one door. No windows.
He swallowed sharply.
Why was he in here? What was...
Oh god.
I didn't, no, I didn't.
I must have--
When he came back, his eyes widened and his face turned a redder shade than ever before.
OH GOD WHAT WHAT IS HE-
Lucian freaked out. He- he wanted to- no, needed to pull away but-
IT'S THE CONCUSSION! CLEARLY THE CONCUSSION.
Maybe Kubo had gone crazy. Maybe he had gone crazy?!
Because this couldn't be reality, he couldn't have--
Kubo couldn't be--
Kissing him on the
...
Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god
So this was
This was what it felt like?!
No he hadn't
He hadn't WANTED this, of course he hadn't-
No that didn't matter
Does he... Love me too?
Impossible. He was... Really out of it, right? This was an accident-
Because he couldn't dare believe that...
He felt his knees go weak. His limbs go limp.
He wasn't even sure what to do because oh god what was he supposed to do?! Was he doing this wrong? It was an accident he shouldn't feed into said accident-
...
Oh my gosh his lips feel so... Strangely cold?
Like...
Snow.
His heart fluttered. He couldn't even be bothered to ask questions, he-
He-
Please, do that again. And again.
...
I-- adore this... And I adore you...
...
What a strange thought...
Please don't ever let go of me...
His heart p o u n d e d. This was... Too good to be true, wasn't it? It had to be a dream...
It was the first gesture Kubo had showed that felt like it could be loving... Gentle... Romantic... Soft...
And he was shivering at the thought of it.
That's a lie, right? I couldn't be right...
...
There's always just been something about you... Something I can't figure out.
I want this to mean that you love me and... You want what I do but I--
...
I can't want that, can I?
For you to love me too.
For you to need me just like I need you...
Lucian practically melted into the kiss, his head spinning.
Goodness... What'll I even say to him after this?
...
He's drunk. He's on drugs. He has a concussion. He's suffering from major blood loss. Right?? Right?Maybe... Kisses on the lips aren't considered a romantic thing where he's from?
Lucian twitched, his body heating up further.
Or.... Am I dreaming? Have I gone insane? How will I talk to him after this?
Ba-bump. Ba-bump.
Oh, Kubo... I love you.
Maybe.... He did this to make the forehead kiss less awkward?? Or more awkward?
He couldn't possibly hold any romantic regard for him, could he?
Sawyer Laurens's POV
Choked his little self. And then there were nine.
...
Choked... Right. Where had they seen-
...huh?
Sawyer's eyes were very wide. "The noise is loud... So loud."
Posted: Wed, 05/04/2023 18:53 (1 Year ago)
"...Mei?
Why? ....she's...dead-
We can't change that.
Talking about her won't change that, won't make any of us feel better.
Is this why you came here, Darcy? To talk about....M-Mei?"
He sighed, running a hand through damp hair.
"...are you okay, Darcy?"
His eyes narrowed.
"Is this all about Mei, or is it something else?
Darcy?"
His hand reached out to comfort him but then recoiled at the thought of-
Idris' fingers began to shake.
"...I wonder what she'd say now, seeing us in this state..."
Posted: Wed, 05/04/2023 21:30 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
What was he doing?...
Akari told me to stay away from him. But, I--
...
God, what did I go and do?
Akari, I'm so sorry.
He had to pull away... He needed to, but he-
He didn't want to.
He ached to feel Kubo's kiss on his lips and his arms around him...
Spinning, spinning endlessly.
This wasn't right, this couldn't be right.
I... Don't deserve to be happy, do I?
Darcy Harper's POV
Why? ....she's...dead-
We can't change that.
Talking about her won't change that, won't make any of us feel better.
Is this why you came here, Darcy? To talk about....M-Mei?"
Darcy winced. "I- I know, but..." His voice cracked, threatening to shatter into pieces. But he forced himself not to cry.
"I-"
What did I even want to say? What did I even want you to say?...
"It just... Doesn't feel right, Idris. The way things... Wound up between us. Between me and you, and... Mei... And all that."
He sounded very quiet, very fragile, when he spoke.
"I... Liked her. Kind of. Idris. I- I don't know if it was... Really her... Or..."
He paused. "She... Reminded me of someone. Who I was in love with once. But I..."
His eyes glistened with the threatening beginnings of tears.
"But I... I think it seemed pretty clear you liked her, too. And... She... She scared me, so I-- kept my distance- and--"
...
"That... Conversation we had. Not too long ago. You- didn't hear it, but I don't feel right. About all the things I said to her. Oh, Idris, I... She should hate me. You should hate me."
His voice cracked further and further.
"She made me feel... Like a horrible person, and I took it o-out on her and it really wasn't her fault and I-"
...
"If it wasn't for my own biases, maybe we could have been friends. She... She had good in her, too, didn't she?..."
"...are you okay, Darcy?"
He froze.
"I-I'm fine! It's just... I felt like... You should know. I felt like..."
"Is this all about Mei, or is it something else?
Darcy?"
Darcy grimaced.
"I'm the worst. I- I'm so selfish. It's so stupid. I thought... Y-you'd be... The only one who could understand and I-"
...
"I don't- know what I'm saying. I'm... I'm sorry."
....
"She's gone... And I regret everything..."
"...I wonder what she'd say now, seeing us in this state..."
Darcy smiled sadly.
"Probably... Laugh and try to make some kind of joke about it, make fun of us for it maybe. Heh... You know, they really are so different, but... I couldn't help but feel like..."
...
"There's... Something familiar about her. Something... Almost like Sawyer."
He glanced away, fumbling with his hands.
"Sawyer thinks none of this is real... And Mei treated this like it was all a game. But... Maybe... When it came to Setsuna, she finally let go of that..."
...
"I don't know what to make of it, really. Of her... But when I think about it, maybe she wasn't so bad. Maybe... I was."
...
"But... Are you okay? How are you holding up? I've just been talking about me this entire time and I..."
...
"I never even bothered to give Mei a chance. Or to get to know you... Have I ever thought of anyone... But myself?"
...
"And I'm dumping all this on you, even now. I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry..."
Idris lost his Sawyer. Idris lost his sunshine.
Light in his life
Gone gone gone.
But that's right, isn't it, Darcy? Because if you don't remember yourself, no one will. Everyone will forget you.
...
Sawyer Laurens's POV
Fi- ne?
Fine.
Sawyer was frustrated. No sharp objects.
They were fascinating though?
Ooh, books and magazines.
Paper cuts were ouch.
Why were they here again?
Why was anyone here?
Posted: Thu, 06/04/2023 01:31 (1 Year ago)
Kubo Atsushi
Lucian's lips were so warm and soft. Like his pretty eyes- cotton candy and caramel, a fair's confections of sugary delights and madness, spun into a beautiful eternal centre.
He felt at Lucian's hair- that was soft too. Slowly, he brought Lucian's arms around himself and hugged him closer- never close enough.
A wave of dizziness suddenly hit him, and he couldn't breathe- panicked he pushed Lucian off himself and they were both sent tumbling back.
Posted: Thu, 06/04/2023 01:49 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
KUBO WAS
KUBO WAS FEELING AT HIS HAIR
ABORT THE MISSION. ABORT!!!
TOUCHING HIS WJSNKSBSJS HIS
HIS
WIHSISJ
WHAT THE
THE WHAT
THE WHAT
HIS ARMS
Lucian felt himself shivering. Oh gosh... Oh goodness...
Kubo's slightly cool touch. It was like the wind at night, it was like the slightest of snow. He felt like he'd be swept away by it.
Buried, by that mysterious coldness. In a winter wonderland, as the shivery, peaceful numbness slowly took over...
And all you could feel was content.
He felt Kubo finally pushing him away, but his heart wouldn't stop pounding.
His fingers flew to his lips, his face bright red.
"I- Oh. Wow. Snow!"
He felt so dizzy, so breathless. Kubo had taken his breath and snatched it away. Lucian blinked very slowly. He could barely process what had happened.
What- what was...
He supposed to say?!
He wanted to ask if it meant what he thought it did. That Kubo might feel the same way he did, or... If he was maybe drunk or something?
But as Lucian opened and closed his mouth, hardly daring to believe what had happened, he was at a complete loss for any more words.
Posted: Thu, 06/04/2023 12:55 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Running water.
Oh how he hated the sound. Reminded him of the river. The river he could never fall into.
It reminded him of the sink.
The sink at home, that goddamn sink.
As soon as you heard it, you knew you were screwed. When she turned it on...
No. No no no no.
Oh god please, please not again.
...
Click
Akari watched as his reflection began to form in the pool. The pool in the sink. He was trembling, eyes wild yet exhausted.
Drip...
Drip..
Drip.
The water was turning red. How pretty. Looked like rubies, she liked rubies. She liked all sorts of gems, but rubies were her favorite.
Looked like...
Looked like her rubies. A sea of red. All of them. All of them were just a sea of rubies. Rubies he found, rubies he watched sprout like mushrooms. Rubies were pretty.
Looked like home. His blood in the sink. Looked like when she...
...
His reflection only grew clearer as the water settled. Funny, he never knew calm water. Calm, still water. Only the river, only the pouring sink, mirrors he could never see. The water was too busy being restless.
They wanted to run away to the beach once. Too bad it was far away. Too bad she made a sea of rubies instead.
Rubies that sprouted from his hands, from everything they touched.
...
There's rubies in the water, Akari.
Rubies.
You like those, don't you?
...
Remember what she did?
She made sure that something as trivial as running water would strike fear into your poor little heart.
Blood turned the water red. Blood made everything go weak. Blood made you cry.
So she washed it off. The water turned darker, the rubies fell off. She wiped them away.
D̵o̴n̶'̴t̵ ̶y̷o̶u̴ ̷r̵e̷m̷e̶m̸b̴e̸r̵?̴ ̶S̸o̶u̶n̵d̷ ̶d̴o̷e̴s̸n̵'̶t̵ ̵t̴r̶a̴v̷e̴l̶ ̶t̷h̵r̶o̶u̵g̸h̷ ̴w̴a̸t̷e̶r̷ ̶w̸e̵l̵l̷.̵
Y̴o̸u̷ ̴s̶c̸r̶e̷a̸m̷e̴d̴ ̵a̷n̴d̴ ̶c̴r̶i̷e̵d̴ ̵a̸n̶d̶ ̴b̴e̴g̷g̶e̶d̵ ̶f̸o̴r̵ ̸h̴e̸l̶p̶ ̵d̷e̸s̵p̸e̴r̶a̶t̵e̴l̸y̷,̵ ̵w̷a̸s̷t̴i̸n̸g̸ ̸a̶l̴l̷ ̶y̷o̴u̷r̷ ̵p̴r̴e̸c̵i̸o̶u̴s̶ ̴a̸i̴r̶,̷ ̸b̶u̶t̴ ̶n̵o̶b̸o̴d̸y̶ ̸c̸a̸m̶e̶.̶ ̵A̷l̴l̷ ̴a̵l̸o̵n̴e̴,̷ ̷f̴o̵r̵e̸v̵e̶r̶ ̸a̸n̷d̶ ̴a̶l̷w̸a̶y̸s̵.̵ ̸
...
Remember what she would always used to do? After cleaning you up?
She would make tea. Your favorite. Green tea to make you feel better.
She would turn the sink on.
The running water.
She would pour it in the kettle.
She would turn on the stove.
She would put the kettle down. Let it heat up.
Let it whistle.
You know that whistle all too well, don't you Akari?
You've heard it more than you've heard your own name.
She must've really wanted you to feel better, huh? She made it a lot. Just for you.
What's wrong, Akari? Cat got your tongue?
Doesn't that water look so nice? You see your reflection, don't you?
You see your reflection, don't you?
A shame, you know?
Do it, Akari. Do it. Get closer. Drawn in a sea of rubies. Rubies. Do it. Clear away your reflection. Rubies are sprouting in your reflection. The sea of red. Do it.
Maybe the rubies will bring you to her.
Do it.
Drown in a sea of blood.
Your blood.
Do it, Akari.
Do it do it do it do it do it-
He couldn't breathe. All he could see was red. Where-
He shut his eyes. His heart was slowing down. His head throbbed.
Sea of rubies.
Sea of blood.
This feeling was all too familiar. He was drowning.
But this time it was a sea of rubies.
Maybe the rubies would be kinder.
...
But these rubies were sharp. Pierced his skin. Made his lungs ache. Made everything hurt.
He knew this feeling all too well.
...
He could breathe again. Heavy gasps for air as his heart pounded in his chest, coughing and coughing as he tried to breathe in anything he could.
...Why was he so desperate for air? Air was life. Life wasn't kind to him. Why did he cling to it?
Blood and water dripped down his face, his neck. The sea of blood slowly disappeared from the sink, leaving nothing behind.
...
He left nothing behind. Got to his senses, cleaned everything up. No more rubies. No more running water.
No more.
He couldn't trust himself to be alone. Not like this. Everything was too loud, too quiet. Everything hurt, everything was numb.
His head pounded as he walked out of his dorm, unsure of any objective.
Just don't die, Akari
...Guess he had to find something to do.
Posted: Sat, 08/04/2023 17:16 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
...
If they knew I was in love with you.
Not only that he was a man that Lucian loved. That Lucian ached to kiss, blasphemy on its own, but...
...
What would they say of his profession?
All the things Lucian couldn't disclose, although he wanted to. Forever lingering in his mind. In his thoughts. Buried deep where no one could find them. Out in the ground, covered further by snow...
Cement shoes turned concrete, the cycle complete.
Now no one would ever know what hid beneath the surface.
Lucian wanted to cry. He... He didn't want to think about... No, stop.
About what people would think of him if they knew. No one would ever trust him ever again.
I'm not like that, I swear!
...but if he confessed his feelings, if he let this become true. If he let himself fall into Kubo's arms, if he told him the truth...
There would always be the other truth. The one that scared him half to death.
People couldn't control what situation they were born into, though, could they?
...
I could have done better.
No one should have died. Not here, not there. Everywhere you went, death stared you right in the face. With those cold, cold eyes. That person wasn't breathing anymore, this person isn't breathing anymore.
Everyone was dead when you thought about it. Some were just more alive than others.
Did Mom really kill herself?...
All the people that you'd miss. And oh, how Lucian wanted to protect Kubo. He didn't want to tell him the truth. Because then he might leave or hate him or be scared of him or--
And if he didn't. What then? Suppose they got out of this place together?
A future... With him? What if he wound up dead?
He left that life behind long ago.
But it always chased you, it always lingered. The question was always there. Never truly safe...
And Lucian found himself wanting to weep once again, but forcing himself not to. Because he wished... He wished he was a boy who had grown up in a normal place with a normal life and that his family had been alive and well, and that he wouldn't get judged for having feelings or being in love with...
Being in love with Kubo. Who reminded him of his past in the worst ways, and dragged him away from it in the best. A source of curiosity for sure.
A mystery he wanted to solve, perhaps. A fascination.
Funny, that. Detectives and therapists both solved mysteries. Especially about people.
It all always came back to the people.
So really, he and Kubo weren't all that different.
If he wasn't terrified beyond all belief, he would leap right into Kubo's arms. He would admit he was in love with him, and they'd figure something out.
Even so, was... He still going to tell him?
Did he still want to tell him, regardless of the risk?
He knew he should stay away. Every law of logic screamed at him to stay away.
But that feeling, of Kubo's lips on his...
His arms wrapped tightly around him...
Those eyes, and that voice... And oh, that hair...
And Kubo, Kubo, Kubo. Everything that was Kubo.
It stirred in him a fascination, a love beyond words that would not go away.
His heart pounded out of his chest. He found himself surprised that it was still beating.
So much bittersweetness there was. Did Kubo love him? Did he hate him? Perhaps both?...
Did it even really matter?
Since when did... What Lucian wanted ever matter?
And then his eyes widened. As he sat up, upon that floor. He realized...
NO, MAYBE HE DID HAVE A CONCUSSION! And... He just kissed me because he wasn't aware of what he was doing.
Wait, Kubo... He was on the floor right now.
"I-- Kubo, oh my goodness. I'm sorry... I-"
...why on earth was he so pretty? Why did he desperately want him to kiss him again? Lucian shook his head, as if to shake away the thought, but not shaking away the blush upon his face.
He knew that, unfortunately, there was only one person he could ask for help right now.
"I-- I'll go... Get help, okay? I'll be right back. I promise."
Kathy, I'm sorry.
His cheek brushed Kubo's without thinking about it, very nearly kissing his cheek but no, not quite, because he could not let something like THAT happen again.
Even though... He desperately wanted to kiss him. Again.
He ran off, and somehow found the door Akari was behind because of the power of plot convenience.
"A-AKARI! I- I HATE TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I--" He sighed, lowering his voice.
"I think... I think Kubo's hurt. I don't know what to do. I think he... Might have a concussion. I- I'm really worried about him! And I was... Going to get help for him immediately but then..."
He cursed the pause in his speech silently. "...something happened."
"...do... Do you think you could help get him to the Nurse's Office? Please? I'm sorry, I know... You told me not to talk to him, but I had to check how he was doing and..."
He was at a loss for words. What more could he say?
Please, Akari. Help me to help him.
...and Lucian knew in his heart that he would never, ever forget that kiss. ...ever.
Posted: Sun, 09/04/2023 00:24 (1 Year ago)
Posted: Sun, 09/04/2023 04:47 (1 Year ago)
Miyako Hiroto
"Until after? Why can't you think of me-" Miyako's eyes were getting wet. She sniffled and tried to wipe at them with her sleeve- she knew she was being unfair to Shi, but how could she not? Everything was so just so f*cked up and the one person who should have her back didn't even care enougb to try.
"I just- leave me alone. I don't wanna talk to you, okay?!"
Before Shi could say anything- apologize again, make promises, offer affection- Miyako escaped out the door.
I'm sorry I accept your apology I'm sorry I don't know what I'm doing I'm sorry why can't I just be okay-
Miyako collapsed against the wall of the girl's bathroom, panting for air in between her hiccups. Tears were streaming down her face, uncontrollable, stupid-
Why couldn't Setsuna have killed Futatabi? Why do the villains always win? Why is Mei dead? Why can't good people be happy?
Mei was beautiful. Everything about her. Her eyes, her hair, her terrible sense of fashion that she could somehow pull off. The way she liked Miyako.
Thsy flirted, they organized a date, Mei said things, Mei didn't say things, Mei was evil, Mei was good, Mei was a killer-
And yet she saved him. For no reason, she could've lived, but she saved him.
All of a sudden, a wave of guilt came over her. She'd left Shi behind- to think about another woman. How could she? When Shi was so good to her... when she owed her so much...
God, was she in shock? Everything was too colourful- every emotion sent a lance of pain up her chest.
A knock came at the door. Her eyes snapped up.
Kubo Atsushi
Kubo was unconscious on his bed, entirely dead to the world. Who knew what he was dreaming about- kicking puppies probably, and stealing candy from small children. That sounded like him.
Posted: Sun, 09/04/2023 21:25 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Voices. Voices outside the door. Who was that?
The silence that was already in the room magnified. Akari froze, every movement in his body came to a sudden halt. His breathing basically stopped, his eyes darted to the door and stared at it while the voice spoke.
Old habits die hard, I suppose.
"A-AKARI! I- I HATE TO BOTHER YOU, BUT I--"
...Was that Lucian? What... What did he want?
His muscles slowly began to relax and his breathing resumed, now not stricken with the fear that such a trivial thing brought.
...Pathetic, wasn't it? Still couldn't get over it?
Akari continued to listen, slowly walking closer to the door with light footsteps. He said nothing in reply at first, instead resting his hand on the handle and waited until the person on the other side finished.
"I think... I think Kubo's hurt. I don't know what to do. I think he... Might have a concussion. I- I'm really worried about him! And I was... Going to get help for him immediately but then..."
"...something happened."
Kubo, huh? The hell was Lucian doing with-
...Oh.
Wasn't his place to get involved anyways. He sighed, closing his eyes and letting his head fall.
Concussion, huh? Wonder how he got that... There were so many things Akari wanted to say about this whole situation, so many concerns
"...do... Do you think you could help get him to the Nurse's Office? Please? I'm sorry, I know... You told me not to talk to him, but I had to check how he was doing and..."
...Lucian wanted his help? Well, it wasn't like he had many other options but...
He sighed once again, his tired and hazy eyes looking down at Lucian as his head fell to the side slightly.
Of course you did, Lucian...
He opened the door more slowly, moving his free hand to rest on the door frame as he leaned against it. Somehow, he looked in an even worse state than he did before, and unsurprisingly it was pretty obvious.
"...Where is he..." Akari spoke hesitantly, his voice low and exhausted, yet a small bit of anger crept into it.
Posted: Sun, 09/04/2023 21:48 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Oh... My goodness.
His eyes widened and eyebrows raised, stunned into silence at Akari's appearance. He thought it'd be rude to comment on it. Was he okay? No, since when was... Akari ever okay? At least, he never seemed to be okay.
Where is he, Akari had asked him. And Lucian had quivered a bit, at the slightness of possible anger in his voice. The slightness of demand. That felt all too familiar...
He had to focus.
"He's... In a dorm room not specified by the plot. I can show you to him. He also has this bruise on his face that might need some attending to, I-- really hope he'll be okay... I--"
He sighed.
"...I'm so sorry for... Burdening you like this, Akari. I understand if you don't want to help. I noticed you two didn't seem to... Like each other very much, for some reason or other..."
His hair and eyes seemed to droop right along with him as he spoke.
"...but, he's hurt, and... Well, he's... One of our fellow students here, we can't just... Let him suffer and possibly..."
He shivered. Well, and of course Lucian was in love with him, but he wasn't going to mention that part. How selfish would that be? Oh, Akari, we have to help him because I have feelings for him, not because he's a human being like us and doesn't deserve to just be left to suffer--
"...I-- understand if you don't want to help, but... I could- show you to the room if... You're okay with it."
He tugged at his scarf. "I would... Do it alone but... He's too heavy for me to carry." His face flushed as he said that, and he immediately pulled his scarf up.
Your goddamn body. It was always in conflict with your mind.
"...so... Is it okay? Can you help? It's... Alright if not."
Posted: Mon, 10/04/2023 03:26 (1 Year ago)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
As soon as he noticed Lucian's sudden change in expression upon opening the door, Akari turned his lowered head away to the side and pursed his lips out of a feeling of unease. He didn't really know what he was expecting, suddenly appearing like that, but it didn't take away the fact that this was unpleasant.
Akari also noticed the quiver in Lucian's voice, a result of his sharp tone that he now, admittedly, regretted. The guy honestly didn't understand why Lucian was still willing to talk to him, considering the
Just can't help yourself, can you? Better off not answering the door, eh? Lock yourself up, don't let anyone around... You'd only make them miserable, wouldn't you?
Old habits die hard, I suppose.
His face contorted to a more somber, remorseful expression, but he didn't say anything until Lucian finished.
"He's... In a dorm room not specified by the plot. I can show you to him. He also has this bruise on his face that might need some attending to, I-- really hope he'll be okay... I--"
Wow, nice fourth wall break you got there Lucian, crazy how that happens.
"I-I'm not a doctor, Lucian, I-..."
Oh shut up Akari, it's just a bruise, isn't it? Not another bullet wound, not another devastating cut...
Not another Mei...
He sighed, letting out a breath of exasperation as his hand on the doorframe tightened before continuing.
"...I'm so sorry for... Burdening you like this, Akari. I understand if you don't want to help. I noticed you two didn't seem to... Like each other very much, for some reason or other..."
"...but, he's hurt, and... Well, he's... One of our fellow students here, we can't just... Let him suffer and possibly..."
Yeah, no s**t Lucian... "Not liking each other" would be an understatement...
And as much as he hated that bastard, he had to admit, Lucian was right. Akari wasn't the type of person to leave someone in the dust like that, no matter how much he hated them. He did all that BS for Mei after all, Kubo wasn't any different.
You buried them 6 feet under the dust.
His teeth gritted slightly, but otherwise he did nothing in response.
"...I-- understand if you don't want to help, but... I could- show you to the room if... You're okay with it."
"I would... Do it alone but... He's too heavy for me to carry."
"...so... Is it okay? Can you help? It's... Alright if not."
Although his head was still turned slightly to the side, he could still see Lucian's face flush as he buried it in his scarf. Couldn't help but to feel bad, but god this sucked. Twice? In one day? Seriously?
At this point, Lucian owed him big time, but of course Akari being Akari, he didn't dare bring it up and probably never would. He never really was a fan of being paid back anyways, it felt so unnatural and scummy to him that he just never bothered. Always did things without anything in return.
"...Yeah, yeah sure..." He muttered quietly, stepping out of his room and letting his arms fall, only to stuff them into his pockets.
"...Lead the way..."
Posted: Mon, 10/04/2023 05:30 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
And that was what caused Lucian to fall completely silent. He wasn't a doctor, either. At least not in the physical sense.
...
And was he even a therapist?
Look at me. Asking for help. Burdening someone with my problems. And he himself... Looks like he's going through a lot right now.
Yeah, that's right, dammit. Akari had to help Mei when she was injured, and now Kubo?
Mei... Who was dead now? Lucian nearly winced at the thought.
Mei... Who he never got to understand. Who he never got to... Possibly make amends with. Become friends with. Maybe... Help.
And he never got to tell her the one thing only she would understand, she had died without knowing.
No one else here would have understood. Somehow, he felt strangely certain of that.
And now... She was gone. Dead. And gone. Inside that Execution Room.
Never to hold another pen, or to hold another hand. Eyes, light slowly draining. Skin slowly paling. Hair, fading. Everything, fading.
Never to speak another word. Never to embrace the future. There was no future for the dead.
Will I wind up like that too?...
Except...
Except no Idris.
Because, psh... No. Kubo wouldn't care. Of course... Kubo wouldn't...
What was his deal?
Grim Reaper. Angel. Anger. Holding. Hurtful words. Apologies. Trusts me, wants to protect me. Hates me, wants to kill me.
And then...
Kubo's lips on his, arms pulling him closer and feeling through his hair... While probably having a concussion. Asking if he was an angel. Again, repeat, having a concussion.
It...
It couldn't mean anything, right?
There was this slight tingling of hope that maybe... Maybe subconsciously, or unconsciously, at the very least, that there was something there. That maybe Kubo was afraid of rejection or didn't understand his feelings or thought everything might go wrong and maybe just maybe
...
Maybe he loved Lucian, too.
But Lucian couldn't bear the thought either way. Because...
If he didn't love him, it would hurt.
If he did... It would be a whole new problem.
How would he ever confess to Kubo the truth?
And could he really just let himself fall in love in a Killing Game?
If he didn't love him... That'd be best. Because then there was no chance of anyone getting hurt.
Kubo was right about him, really. Always the middle ground. Always everyone else's answers, never his own. Never wanting to share his own truth.
Lucian was just a vanishing face in a crowd of people. A single cloud in the sky. A wisp of wind. A drop of water in the ocean.
He was something, and yet he was nothing. No one would remember him.
He was nothing special. All he did was try to help people.
And did that thought bother him?
No... Not really.
It was how it was supposed to be.
It was other people that mattered.
And Lucian, so small, and so fragile, just a small dust cloud.
Just one small blow of breath and then he would vanish.
And then he remembered... Kubo needed him. But he couldn't force Akari to help him... Not again. He couldn't do that again. That wasn't fair.
"...well... I'm- not either. Not outside of the mind, that is. I... Do know some things but..."
He paused.
"...Yeah, yeah sure..."
"...Lead the way..."
Lucian looked Akari up and down, before stiffening.
"...I... You're sure?"
...
"I mean, maybe... I'll just... Um... I could find some supplies in the Nurse's Office and bring them in there or... I guess I could... Try and drag him into the..."
He sighed. Oh, please. The idea sounded pathetic...
"...I don't want to burden you again, Akari. Especially... Not after..."
He stopped himself from saying 'Mei'.
Ah, god, what if he made it sound like he didn't want Akari's help? He shifted awkwardly.
"I, well... Unless... You're really okay with it."
He slowly made his way to Kubo's dorm room, and tried to hint that Akari could follow if he wanted to, but he didn't have to.
I'm not supposed to need help. I'm supposed to solve everyone's problems. WHAT AM I DOING?
...
Get Kubo medical care, dammit. THEN HELP AKARI. He needs help, he clearly needs help. If... He wants it.
His fingers were slowly curling into fists. Lucian didn't know why, but... He felt strangely... Angry.
I'm going to fix this, dammit. I'm going to fix everything.
...
Everyone will be happy.
...
Alive. Happy. I swear it. No matter what I have to do to make it happen. No matter what I don't matter I don't matter if I die it's okay just let them be happy-
...
Everyone will be smiling.
Posted: Mon, 10/04/2023 13:42 (1 Year ago)
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Lucian's silence only set Akari at an even greater unease than before somehow. Was he... Alright? Did he do something wrong?
"...I... You're sure?"
"I mean, maybe... I'll just... Um... I could find some supplies in the Nurse's Office and bring them in there or... I guess I could... Try and drag him into the..."
Akari paused for a moment before taking a deep breath, then a slow exhale as his arm left one of his pockets and crept to the back of his neck as he pondered those words.
"...Lucian, it's-"
"...I don't want to burden you again, Akari. Especially... Not after..."
Akari fell silent, the grip on the back of his neck growing slightly tighter.
Not after Mei, huh?
He was about to say it was fine, he didn't mind, no need to apologize, something like that, but that was all lies, wasn't it?
"I, well... Unless... You're really okay with it."
A brief pause hung in the air as he watched Lucian leave, following soon after.
"...Let's go, Lucian..."
His tone was slightly more blunt than before, as much as he tried to keep it steady. His hand dropped from his neck and fell back into his pockets.
Posted: Mon, 10/04/2023 18:25 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Upon noticing Akari's silence, Lucian drooped on the inside. That was... The wrong thing to say. The wrong thing to imply.
"...Let's go, Lucian..."
Oh, so... He was following him. He was coming after all...
Lucian wasn't sure how to feel about that. Well, it wasn't like how he felt was what mattered anyway. Maybe... It'd help Kubo more in the long run. But Lucian was worried about Akari. Would he be okay? Why did he keep... Gripping at his neck like that?
No. I don't want to be invasive.
...but...
No, he'd figure that out later. Lucian knocked gently on the door. He knocked again and again, ever so quietly, but loud enough to be heard. There was no response. He visibly paled. Was... Kubo alright?
The door was unlocked. He sighed, and turned to Akari.
"I guess... He... Fell unconscious, maybe." He covered up his worry for the most part with a sad smile.
Guess they were going in?
Lucian carefully opened the door, and walked in. Kubo was on his bed, completely unconscious. Was he sleeping? Had he fainted? Lucian was unsure.
He glanced in worry at the bruise upon Kubo's face, and momentarily wondered if through the power of gay panic, he had somehow not felt the bump on Kubo's head. But that begged the question... How did he bump it?
"...should we... Try to carry him to the Nurse's Office or wake him up?"
Posted: Mon, 10/04/2023 23:05 (1 Year ago)
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Akari followed Lucian quietly as they walked along, not doing a thing as the latter opened the door.
"I guess... He... Fell unconscious, maybe."
He peeked inside, looking to see Kubo was, in fact, passed out. He could tell he was probably dreaming about something cruel, something about the Seren post a while back said it all...
Honestly, he was a little relieved to see that Kubo wasn't conscious. It made things a little easier, right? Wouldn't have to listen to whatever that insult-spewing mouth of his had to say, after all...
But still, unconsciousness wasn't exactly something to be relieved about, especially not in this situation. There was a bump on his head, as far as Akari could tell, so maybe it was just a concussion? He wasn't entirely sure.
"...should we... Try to carry him to the Nurse's Office or wake him up?"
Akari slowly turned his head over to Lucian, then gave a small shrug. Normally, he wouldn't ponder that question and instead go straight to hauling their ass to where they needed to be, but since Lucian asked... He felt obligated to think about it for a bit.
If Kubo was woken up now, things may or may not get slightly more... unpleasant, but then again... If Kubo woke up while they were taking him there, who knows what he'd do? The amount of times things have gone horribly wrong for him in a similar situation was way more than he liked, and increasing the number didn't sound fun. Oh whatever...
He was silent for a bit, but then finally spoke. "Your call, I guess..." He muttered out, his tone filled with an almost nervous uncertainty. Admittedly, Akari wasn't very good with being the one to call the shots. Doing so placed responsibility on himself, and well... Usually that didn't go well, at least not from his point of view. Yeah yeah, stupid excuse or whatever, leave my poor trauma emo boy alone.
Posted: Mon, 10/04/2023 23:39 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
My call.
Of course, that would make sense. It would be unfair to put the decision on Akari's shoulders (figuratively or literally), because he was already helping out. Again.
And, of course, there were certainly things to be considered. Lucian scanned Akari's face, his posture, his movements... He seemed a little unnerved.
And then he looked at their little Sleeping Beauty here...
If he woke Kubo up, what if things got rough between him and Akari? Lucian sighed so softly it almost didn't even sound like a sigh. More like the slightest breeze of wind, the near-silent breath of a spirit.
If he didn't wake Kubo up, and Akari was the one carrying him, and he woke up before they could put him down... Things might get even worse. But he knew poor Akari probably wasn't looking forward to it either way. There was only one call to make here, that wouldn't end disastrously.
He turned to look at Akari, giving him a reassuring smile. He would have given him his hand, either in his or on his shoulder, in an act of friendly reassurance. However, he figured he better not, and his fingers lingered from doing so.
"...hey. Think we should wake him. But..." He paused thoughtfully. "I'll be right here. To calm him down. If things get rough."
Dog. Only a dog.
...
It was almost LIKE a vet appointment, wasn't it? Restrain Kubo from biting Dr. Akari over here. Pull out the collar, leash, and muzzle.
Lucian shook his head and tried to hide his amused smile.
"...it's almost like he's a fiesty puppy." He stifled a laugh. "...I suppose... I should wake him, right?"
Definitely less intimidating to be woken up by the small, gentle hands of a tiny 95-pound-boy rather than...
Well, that nonsense went on way too long.
Either thought was amusing, though.
Kubo as a freaking princess or a dog? Wow, Lucian was getting more and more like Mei every day. Slow clap. This was a freaking moment of crisis, was Fluffy McLight Nagayto Komarbred getting delirious?
"I... Don't suppose he'd be happy. Being woken by you. I don't mean that in a bad way."
It almost made him sad, really. Why couldn't they be friends?
It wasn't like Kubo or Akari really seemed like the friend type. It's just...
...
The look upon Lucian's face seemed even sadder, as he raised his scarf further to cover it up. This was why people kept dying, wasn't it?
"family," he murmured to himself.
Miyako was right.
Family.
Kaoru was right, even though... They too had wound up killing someone.
Family.
If they were all family, things could be different.
Why couldn't they all just get along? That's how the story was supposed to go.
It can still go that way. I can fix this. I'll figure it out.
Little did Lucian know, that a certain event would come up...
That might make that a little...
Easier?
Or would it?
Well, he'd have to see.
Posted: Tue, 11/04/2023 00:51 (1 Year ago)
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Akari kept his gaze in Kubo's direction, eyes adverted to the floor beneath the bed and refused to look in Lucian's direction. He could feel his stare upon him, sending him further into the spiral of unease Akari had already found himself in.
"...hey. Think we should wake him. But... I'll be right here. To calm him down. If things get rough."
He turned his head over to Lucian, but his head still hung low to the ground. If the therapist wasn't so damn short, he probably wouldn't have been able to see his face.
Akari figured Lucian would go to that option, as to not startle Kubo or anything, but that didn't make it any better... Oh well, he didn't like either option anyways. He gave a subtle shrug once again, looking back at Kubo.
"...it's almost like he's a fiesty puppy." He stifled a laugh. "...I suppose... I should wake him, right?"
...A feisty puppy, huh? More like a vicious hound... He found it odd how Lucian could be so fond of this guy, but... It wasn't his place to say anything, right?
Akari paused for a moment before making a small gesture with his hand towards Kubo as if to say "go ahead", or something like that.
"I... Don't suppose he'd be happy. Being woken by you. I don't mean that in a bad way."
Akari seemed to freeze for a brief moment upon hearing that, moving his hand to the side of his neck and rubbed it slightly.
Yeah, he knew. He didn't want to be the one to wake him up in the first place, but...
"I wouldn't either..." He mumbled under his breath, realizing that due to the sheer silence in the room, Lucian probably heard it anyways.
Suddenly, Lucian's face seemed to grow a little sadder, which caused Akari to turn his head to face him upon noticing the mood growing heavier.
Did he... Say something?
"...Sorry..." He spoke, barely audible.
Posted: Tue, 11/04/2023 03:13 (1 Year ago)
Lucian Arbred's POV
Lucian frowned. Oh... Poor Akari. He didn't mean to upset him... "...I... I wouldn't mind. Being woken up by you." He realized how awkward that sounded. Still, he... Really wanted to comfort him.
So... He was really insecure, wasn't he?
His eyes widened. Sorry, Akari had said. So very quietly. As though he had done something wrong. Lucian shook his head.
"No, no. It's alright. I... Was just thinking..." He inhaled sharply. "...I don't want people to keep dying. Why have we even killed each other? What if..."
...
"...no... Nono... The idea is preposterous. I just... Wondered if..."
...
"...Kaoru was right. About Hope's Peak being a family. But... We're a broken family, Akari. One that needs to be fixed. One torn apart by... Our own tragedies. Each and every one of us."
...
"...we're all hurting, and we're all scared. And confused. And reluctant. We let the bear tear us apart from..."
He got that starry, faraway look in his eyes again.
"...that potential. What we all are. What we all could be. Our best selves. All... Friends. All... Happy. At least... Sometimes."
...
"...but, it's okay! No one else will have to die. Somehow..."
You really believe that, Lucian?
...
The body count grows by the day
...
Who knows how many more threats? Shouts? Tears? Gunshots? Pleading, pleading, pleading, stabbing, laughing-
"...you have nothing to be sorry for. It's okay, really."
He hesitated, slowly, soundlessly walked over, and carefully felt at Kubo's hair, gently nudging his side. He was so... Strangely beautiful. Oh dammit no he couldn't think that right now
He momentarily wondered what he looked like with his hair ties off. His silky blue hair and his pale skin and his closed eyes and frozen expression he---
He looked so... Peaceful. It was strange.
"Kubo? Hey. It's... Me. Lucian. Please wake up."
I'm going to help you, okay? And Akari, and everyone else.
Posted: Tue, 11/04/2023 03:59 (1 Year ago)
Kubo Atsushi
Kubo was running across a field, laughing and dancing over the wildflowers. Beautiful, glorious things- an endless blissful expanse of green and yellow and red, swaying to the music of the wind, all beneath a glorious blue sky.
He let himself fall backward. The softness of the ground embraced him, bringing him closer to the earth's warmth. He laughed once more, reaching up to the sky- clasping a cloudless expanse of blue within his hand.
A hand offered itself to him. He accepted it gratefully, and pulled her towards him. She smiled, bright white teeth, amber eyes, bloody skin-
No, no, that wasn't right.
She wasn't right.
,
He blinked and all of a sudden, the beautiful world had melted into an entirely different scene. A picnic. Down below, beneath the hills, construction was beginning.
The picnic was designed in such a way, that it felt natural. Red and white blanket, wicker basket, no plastic or concrete to be found.
Three people sat on the blanket next to him. Mikio Tetsuo hair as red as a leprachaun's ass, and about as ugly too. Bright amber eyes. Hisoka Yamanaku, quiet and observant, brown hair, bright blue eyes, glasses. And her. Why was she there?
They were all laughing. Mikio had cracked a joke. Everyone laughed when he said something funny. They tucked their hair behind their ears and forgot all about their boyfriend-
The roar of an engine. The machines were coming.
He tried to scream, but he could only watch as they laughed and laughed and the wheels turned their skin inside out-
,
His mother sat, her back to him. Her rocking chair swayed as he staggered to his feet. She did not turn around, even as he stumbled. "Mother...?" He reached for her shoulder.
The chair fell back onto him, and her bloody eyesockets stared back at him.
,
He was in a graveyard this time. She was there too. Then she wasn't, and he was alone.
He got to his feet and looked about him- silent tombstones, silent snow, silent crows. The sky was unmoving- the hills below devoid of monster and man.
It was an effort to move again- he stumbled down the cemetary, looking forher. Just there. Had to be right around the corner, right-
An unmarked grave.
He fell to his knees and raked his hand over it. Blood spotted at each point of connection- an overgrowth of thorny roses had started there, against that exhausted stone and motionless earth. He dug his fingers into the earth and pulled.
A handful of soil came back. He dug and dug and scraped away handfuls. There was one. There was two. There was an eye staring back at him through the soil.
It blinked. He put his fingers in the socket and it ceded, as soil did. He dug through the cream cheese eyeball, into fleshy brain matter, all the way to the back of the skull.
The whole thing came out then. And he cradled a face, eye missing, brain matter scattered about him, and it wasn't her. It wasn't Kaoru.
It was his mother and its jagged, maggot filled smile promised everything he had ever wanted.
An arm was on his shoulder. "K...aoooru...?" he slurred. "Zzz... z'at you?"