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Forum Thread

Zander's Sadness

Forum-Index Diaries Zander's Sadness
Interna_Chaotica
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 36

Forum Posts: 40
Posted: Mon, 29/06/2020 07:39 (3 Years ago)
I've already upset somebody today. It's barely past midnight. I'm writing this an hour or so after the event, and I'm not sure what to do now. The forums are always a little slow until I go out for weights in the morning. That gives me about two hours of catching up to do, stacked with the recaps I need on everything else due to two days out of town and out of internet.


Welcome to society,
We hope you enjoy your stay,
And please feel free to be yourself,
As long as it's in the right way.

Make sure you love your body,
Not to much or we'll tear your down,
We'll bully you for smiling,
And then wonder why you frown.

We'll tell you that you're worthless,
That you shouldn't make a sound,
And then cry with all the others,
As you're buried in the ground.

You can fall in love with anyone,
As long as it's who we choose,
And we'll let you have your opinions,
But please shape them to our views.

Welcome to society,
We promise that we won't deceive,
And one more rule now that you are here,
There's no way that you can leave.
Interna_Chaotica
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 36

Forum Posts: 40
Posted: Tue, 30/06/2020 22:02 (3 Years ago)
I just feel suddenly empty. Everything is sad or saddening to me. If you care to argue due to my characters, don't bother. I've eclipsed my friends, I've voided my family, and I'm not sure if I can even put up with myself. Every time I look in the mirror, I see something I've come to hate. I see something I'm unsatisfied with. I always try to help myself, but I always end up feeling like I messed it up. Every time I post something, whether it's a comment or a feed, I almost immediately delete it. I've gone through so many versions of the same post that I'm starting to feel like everything I do is imperfect. I just can't put up with all my mistakes, all my nonsense, all of what makes me myself.


And I've already found what started it, what advanced it, and I want to know what's going to finish it...

It started when I realized Cosmixx disappeared
It advanced when I typed something wrong and made a friend group of mine hate me
And I hope this will end without any damage...