Forum Thread

Title: THISISGOINGTOBEAHUGEPOST pt. 1

Hello! And to those of you just joining this wonderful drama known as my diary based off of my life irl, welcome to a window to why I tend to be so weird.

I will give you all a run down of names involved... Zey, Spooky/Ghost, Angel, Diva, Ria, Jessie, Kai, Leggy, and Raven... So Zey and Jessie were best friends until a lot of this came to light, and now Zey can’t stand her but is acting like she knows nothing so I can get more info because Jessie is still trying to ruin Kai’s life and I’m still trying to figure out how to expose her in a safe way for everyone. I swear I don’t like drama, I was so happy with this semester not being like Mean Girls or Heathers and then... ugh.

So this is going to be a few parts to post because there’s so much to say and I can’t write it out all at once. I mean you can see how many people this involves not including myself. The main people are Zey, Jessie, Kai, Raven and myself. So welcome to the hell I’ve been living in for months, and I had no idea on a lot of this for a very very very very long time.

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Title: THISISGOINGTOBEAHUGEPOST pt. 2

So I'm breaking this down into segments weekly because the drama has died down because this has all come to light for everyone so now everyone is just disgusted with each other and it's also that point in the semester where everyone is just DONE.

So this story actually begins a year ago. That's right dear readers (if there are any), this storm started before I knew any of them. I didn't think it was going to be this convoluted when I first started to get involved with it. So like RIP me for this...

So flash back to Zey and Jessie's senior year of high school, (so like fall 2017 and spring 2018...) and Jessie is dating this guy, Raven, and they break up. According to Jessie, it was super out of nowhere and she was devestated so she does the dumbest thing. She gets with his best friend that same day.

Now I have to admit I've had my fair share of devastating breakups, but would I ever get with their best friend to spite them? Hell no. I might be vindictive and petty but I am not that girl that goes and... *deep breath* This is not the story. Back to that.

So she admits to being an idiot and then tells said best friend of Raven not to tell him what they did. WELL, GIRL, YOU MESSED UP AGAIN! Of course, the high school guy brags to Raven and other friends about his conquest with a recently made EX-GIRLFRIEND. **Side note... At this point in Jessie's story I yelled many profanities at her and called her an idiot in every breath.** She then goes off on how she's been trying to fill the void in her heart ever since then. So I, being the naive person I am, pity her and try to be her friend. Good job C, like you just invited in so much negativity like the idiots in a horror movie invite the killer or demon into their home.

So I go around watching her get with all these guys that I tell her I'm interested in, actually she only knew about two because I might be stupid but I'm not an idiot. Sometimes. And then the thing with Kai starts. Now Kai is a great friend, I would never let anyone hurt him on purpose. I am also stupid and let Jessie get close to him. She went and told literally everyone that she and Kai were dating. I asked him about it, because I knew he was into me and still is (please send help), and he was super confused. They had never hung out alone, she had never been to his house, he never said 'I love you and I want to date you.' to her, and called out all of the things she had been saying to everyone.

I'm going to end here for this week, so...

~ Until Next Week! ~

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Yes hello, I’m alive. I’m so tired and stressed that I feel like I want to die. So uh the drama will wait a week. I honestly... I need a bottle and a half of something strong. I just... I want a relationship, I want good grades, I want to hang out with my friends, I want to be thinner, I want... I want to be happy and it’s so hard to be happy any more. I’m making an RP about mental health, it should be fun. I hope. I want it to be fun and exciting, but I’m so scared to actually do this because I’m so afraid that people won’t actually like it. I’m just overthinking everything, and depression is taking over right now. Sorry anyone else that reads this, I’m just not in a good place anymore. I just want to disappear and not matter.

Again, sorry for the depressing entry.

~Until Next Week~

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Hey, it's me... I'm still depressed, stressed, and over-dressed... That sounds weirder than I thought it would... Oh well.

HEY! JESSIE ALMOST GOT SOMEONE TO KILL THEIRSELF! Yeah, you read that right. She was so hateful and condescending that someone tried to end their life because of her. I hate that I know her. I hate that I try to be nice to her because nobody else likes to be around her and I know what it's like to be alone like that. I hate myself because of her, she makes my depression go through the roof. I just... *deep breath* I have one more week left in this semester. One more week and then I get a month away from all the drama. She goes around telling people she hates a guy and then the next second they're both in a car doing... stuff... AT SCHOOL. I just can't anymore. I use this as a place to vent but I just can't with her anymore. And I had to put my dog down today and and and... I just want to be a little kid again and not have these problems anymore. I hate being an adult.

~Until Next Week~

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Redacted


~Until Next Week~

Title: Moreterriblepoetry

Redacted

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... So I'm done writing my strangely emo poems(?) School is starting up again in a few days, yay for college schedules that make no sense and literally benefit nobody but the school board making bank off of the students. It's literally almost 2000 USD for a semester including books and the stupid meal plan, 'health insurance' plan, and whatever other stuff they throw in the cost for the semester. It's really ridiculous, but I need to go to school to do well in my field. Music is tough and the more education you have the better you'll be. OH! I forgot about the vocal training lessons I have to take now and those are 100 USD for an HOUR! I just love spending my money on this stuff. SO FREAKING MUCH. ;-;

My friends always ask me to do things but I'm broke and I don't get scholarships for reasons beyond me. They do though. They're never broke like me and I would love to do a weekend trip to LA and Disneyland but no, I have like 14.96 in my bank account so I can't do anything. I'm so ready for the stress of living in LA with my cat and best friends that also get the no money thing, and they sing too. It's going to be a very musical apartment with 4 musicians in it.

~Until Next Week~

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Yooooooooooooo... it’s actually been a week, go me. :D

So the spring semester started on Monday, and I got into all my classes hell yeah. But I can already tell that there’s going to be drama in my two choir courses. One girl is obsessed with getting it on *cough* Jessie *cough* and another is obsessed with spreading rumors to the point that she makes things up about people. She makes things up about herself to seem more “likable” but girl, no number of horrible things that happen to you will make you seem interesting or cool. And lying about things that are serious just makes you look like a total witch... but it’s fine. I’m staying as far away as possible and I only have to deal with Jessie in both classes, which is fine. I think she might have grown up a bit over break but we shall see. So here’s to a new semester of annoying people and work and I hope I pass all these classes. But my first class of the day is about to start...

~Until Next Week~

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And I’m a day late, we’ll better late by a day than.... what’s the longest it had been? A month? Eh whatever.

Hello again dear readers if there are any! A lot has happened in the last few days, I have a boyfriend now and I honestly didn’t see it coming. Oh gosh... I have to make a code name for him now, but I don’t know if anyone out there even reads this other than me. *shudder* If you read these please don’t tell me because I will cry. A lot.

But I’m actually happy again, and I can honestly say even when I was with 626 I wasn’t this happy. Wow that sounds bad, he made me happy but not like this, I honestly haven’t felt something like this since I was dating Opera. But my relationship with ... ntbd ... has me feeling like a kid again, I feel warm and fuzzy all over and even though there’s a slight time difference and they don’t live here... now I’m getting sad. I just, really want him around me so I can hold his hand and hug him and kiss... I love this guy. And I never thought that I would feel this way about anyone again.

~Until Next Week~

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So uh... hey. It’s me back to complain more about my life in the form of screaming into the void. Love and I are doing fine, so yay us. I’m struggling to find my balance for the smemster and I think I’m going to get it soon. But I got fired from my super amazing wonderful job today. Because my school schedule made me unable to go into the office on Tuesdays. And I just found out that my bank account was hacked so the money I thought I had is gone. A least that’s easily fixed, but my schedule is so messed and weird for school that I won’t be able to get a new job for the entire semester. I’m so screwed.

So hopefully this isn’t like when I first was looking for a job and I’m able to find something quickly when the summer rolls around. I’m just really upset and I think I’m going to throw up because I had no idea this was even coming. So yeah... rip me.

~Until Next Week~

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I honestly don’t know why I’m so bad at keeping up with this! At least I’m doing better with it now than almost a year ago. Today I’ve been a registered member of this sit for a year. A WHOLE FREAKING YEAR! I’m honestly shook, I really only got into this site because of a fan club that I happened to find while I was looking through the forums, and then I did an rp with those people and started to explore more rp’s and met more people. Heck I even met my boyfriend because of it, this site has had a huge impact on me. I never expected it to have this effect on my life but I’m so happy, it’s strange. Life is strange, but I’m okay with that.

~Until Next Week~

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I got in an accident, I probably convinced my boyfriend to breakup with me when I responded passive aggressively to something he said, the risers fell apart in choir so I’m double bruised. I just hope this is rock bottom, because I don’t think I can handle anything lower than this. I’m depressed as heck and I know I’m the one ruining my life. Someone send help, please. I can’t cry anymore and I can’t see a healthy way out of this. Please someone love me enough to show me how to survive life because I’m really not sure that I’m going to figure it out. And if I can’t figure it out then what good am I?

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And I’m three days late in posting... Go me!

So good news first, Love and I are still dating we had a blow up fight but it was a good thing? It made us both take a step back to look at the things that lead up to it and made us both realize that we needed better communication going forward. So yay for that.

Bad news, Kevin, my car, is totaled. And when I went to get the last of my things from inside of it a gift from my now dead grandma was stolen. So I was okay and holding it together until then, and then I broke down and cried in the middle of an auto shop. So that was fun.

I also haven’t slept in my own bed in like a week. It’s really throwing me off... but tonight I get to go home! Yay! And I get to see my cats, Aria and Mar :3 I’ve missed them so much.

~Until Next Week!~

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I’m on time again! Yay!

So updates in my life, Friday, I got dumped. So that’s great. I can’t really say that I’m sad or whatever, something bad happened last Monday so I was prepared for it to happen. Like I expected it. Which super sucks because I really wanted that to actually go somewhere, but it’s okay. Mainly because I somehow managed to get a date with someone else already? Don’t ask me how, because I really and truly don’t know what happened there. And I know a lot of people will think it’s a rebound. Wrong. I’ve dated more people than I’m willing to admit, so I’m like a pro at this gathering up the pieces and moving on now.

But the upcoming date... it’s at Disneyland. I’m going on a Disney date and I’m literally about to scream because that’s something I’ve always wanted. And this guy, he writes music for video games. Like God of War. And I’ve know him for years, and I always had a little thing for him. I never knew he had a thing for me too until recently. And I’m best friends with his younger sister, so it’s something I’m a little worried about, but I’m sure it will be okay. We’re all adults so even if things don’t end like I’m sure his family and my family hope we can all still be friends. High school me wouldn’t have known how to handle it so I guess I have learned something important in college.

~Until Next Week!~

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Still on date, heck yeah!

So uh my fate for Friday was canceled... It’s likely to be rescheduled but still... it sucks. I just want to go on a date already to get over the last guy faster. And I think that’s like my newest thing??? Oh wait no, Fish told me that she thinks she has cancer. She’s thought this for like a year and she’s just now tell me so like I’m angry about it. And someone had random added me on PS4 and is flirting with me wayyyyy too well... but I like the attention for now.

~Until Next Week!~

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And I’m late... Go me...

I’m on a weird emotional rollercoaster. I just want to be happy and for some reason when I finally start to get happy the universe says nope. I’m trying to figure out what I did to cause this to happen. I just want to be happy again. I just want to smile and mean it and I just had it, and it sucks.

But life was getting better until something happened today.

~Until Next Week~

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So shocking that I'm late on posting again, right?

Emotional rollercoaster has been left behind! Yay! *soft cheering in the background*
That being said, I have entered Drama Land, so that's fun I guess? But I'm not going to be there alone I have my Booli with me :3

I'm super happy now and loved and it's magical and adheiywhflw it's amazing :3

~Until Next Week~

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Okay wow I really need to give myself a reminder for this so I stop being late...

Booli is a booli, but he’s amazing. He lives a distance away from me but still in the same state, so yay! We have visits planned out and I’m just so excited :3

Also it’s Spring Break finally, like the heck... This is so late in the semester what even is the point?

~Until Next Week~

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Ahahahahahahahahahaha

I’m such an idiot. So it’s been a month since my last post and I never set an alarm but like whatever...

So uh hey... if anyone still reads this... this will probably be close to the last post I make in this diary... I’m not sure yet. It’s just so full of drama and weird rankings from my life that I don’t know if it should even be on this site... but we shall see.


So I’ve been informed by Booli that their mother doesn’t like me because I’m an “outsider”. Okay what?

I’m an outsider because I’m not Taiwanese. That’s literally it. Curse my European heritage? Like sorry that my family wasn’t explorers and stayed in Scotland, Ireland, and England? And then eventually went to the America’s and not China? What am I supposed to do about this? I don’t want to have their family dislike me for something I have zero control over, they should dislike me for my terrible humor and taste in music if anything. But uh that’s all that’s really new in this last month... so uh... yeah.

I’ll post again... maybe... idk... so uh... Bye

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And I’m back... It’s only been over two weeks... I mean I guess that not too bad.

It’s summer here now. I wish I lived close to the beach again, then I could swim more. But the forests here are nice too I guess. I’ve given it some more thought and I think I will start a second diary, but it won’t be based off of my real life. It will follow a character I create, like many of the diaries here. Maybe I’m giving into this site by doing that, but I think it might be good to get these ideas out. I tried running an rpg but it failed so I’m not exactly sure how this will go but it’s something to get rid of the monotony of the summer.

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