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nishishi
Forum-Index → Diaries → nishishi
Posted: Thu, 12/02/2015 05:39 (9 Years ago)
Hello/How are you?
(Hello!)
I opened my window, whispering so no one would hear
(How are you?)
In my room all alone, and no one is near
(Morning!)
It's morning yet again, the world is showering in rain
(Tick-tack)
Would someone please rewind my spring quickly, for me?
(Hello!)
I really thought that kind of guy, only came in anime
(How are you?)
Oh, I am so jealous, that others loves so naturally
(Sleeping)
I have to stop with saying these things, and start preparing on my own
(Crying)
So I can hide my tears, because I'm alone
"Oh well whatever" has become my phrase
That line from yesterday it came and left without a single eye gaze
"Hey, I don't have any expectation of you anymore"
You are right, I do not myself
I don't have any expectations of me anymore
Hey but still, I wonder what the things you say are for?
But what came, words of shame, escaping from my throat again
But they were, all they were, nothing but dirty lies
And today their all I say, that is the price I have to pay
And so it goes, and no on knows if it will ever stop
Tell me, why do you intend to keep your secret?
Are you scared that they will laugh if they will know it?
Or is it that you do not want to have a so called: "friend"?
Is all this really true?
I'm in a sea of contradiction, I don't know how to get up
And I am suffering because I feel my breath will stop
I only have an urge to listen to a gentle voice
I'm weak and have no choice
I'm not anywhere and even with my preparation
I start thinking with some irritation
"Hey, I'm tired so I'll find a reason good enough for rest"
I know, I know, I didn't mean it I'm really kidding, that is what it really is
But I'm not going to rest, so don't get mad at me
Just be happy or miserable, it was your free choice since long ago
Morning sun will always rise, it is cruel but it is fair
I'm already trying hard just to live and to stay on guard
What else do you expect me to achieve with what I am?
Tell me, why do you intend to tell what's untrue?
Is it that you wish that anyone could love you?
Or is it that someone was letting go or walked away?
Do you recall the day?
And if my life is organized like work and I can stamp my card
I wonder when I'm free because I think my work is hard
And who will pay me for the suffering I always felt?
I've been living for awhile
(Thank you!)
I should say what is true and tell you "thank you"
(Thank you!)
I should say what is true and tell you "thank you"
(Thank you!)
If even just one time, I'll say how I feel
Feel like screaming, feel like crying, feel like shouting out of wildness from my heart 'cause I just want to thank you
Tell me, why do you intend to keep your secret?
Do you really want that I should ask to know it?
I will promise you that there's no way I will laugh
So why not tell me how you feel?
There's really no way I will know if you don't talk out to me
You can't convey what I don't know thinking simply
What a troublesome kind of creature are we again?
The "human", that is right
Hello! How are you?
To you, I'll say: Hello! How are you?
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Fri, 13/02/2015 08:13 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Fri, 13/02/2015 14:18 (9 Years ago)
Streaming Heart
Though I seem to say many things,
Please try and seek out real me
In the space between truth and lies,
Hidden away so well
For a like-minded pair who are no good alone,
Being together is what grants happiness
But coming to hate the connection which was made
Saying “You’re better off alone”
These feelings which just can’t be settled
What conclusion will they arrive at, I wonder?
As recompense for nearly drowning,
Finding oxygen to breathe once more
“You’re a weakling, aren’t ya?”
This falling feeling
Can be so pleasant…
I want to pull down the curtain on this love
An inner voice
Brutally warped by this relationship
I will aim for a “love-lost” ending to the story
Me giving rise to a sense of hatred would be a great success
For a like-minded pair who are no good alone,
Being together is what grants happiness
But coming to hate the connection which was made
Saying “You’re better off alone”
Anyhow, if there was just another of me over there,
Well then surely happiness could be found
Today I’ll play the girl,
Taking things to a foolish extreme
Knowing that this is egoselfishness
But nevertheless unable to stop it
I want to pull down the curtain on this love
An inner voice brutally warped by this relationship
I will aim for a “love-lost” ending to the story
Me helping to foster a sense of hatred would be quite the success
I want to reach that final goodbye
For existing as this “me"
Is the opposite of fun
I don’t exactly want to get carried away,
But things being as they are…
Having said many things
Please try and seek out real me
In the space between truth and lies,
Hidden away so well
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Sat, 14/02/2015 03:34 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Sun, 15/02/2015 08:58 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Mon, 16/02/2015 17:15 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Wed, 18/02/2015 09:11 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Thu, 19/02/2015 21:01 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Sun, 22/02/2015 11:50 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Tue, 24/02/2015 09:38 (9 Years ago)
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Thu, 26/02/2015 13:47 (9 Years ago)
Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Ha-ha-ha, this is about you
Beware, beware, be skeptical
Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold
Deceit so natural
But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning
Bah-bah-black sheep, have you any soul?
No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals?
Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quick
Jill's a little wh*re and her alibis are dirty tricks
So could you
Tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words: one day (one day)
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt
Aware, aware, you stalk your prey
With criminal mentality
You sink your teeth into the people you depend on
Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem
Fee-fi-fo-fum, you better run and hide
I smell the blood of a petty little coward
Jack, be lethal, Jack, be slick
Jill will leave you lonely dying in a filthy ditch
So could you
Tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words: one day (one day)
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt
Maybe you'll change
Abandon all your wicked ways
Make amends and start anew again
Maybe you'll see
All the wrongs you did to me
And start all over, start all over again
Who am I kidding?
Now, let's not get overzealous here
You've always been a huge piece of sh*t
If I could kill you I would
But it's frowned upon in all fifty states
Having said that, burn in hell
So tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words: one day (one day)
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt
Karma's gonna come collect your debt,
(She's a li—she's a li—she's a liar)
Karma's gonna come collect your debt.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Tue, 10/03/2015 12:02 (9 Years ago)
I knew you way better than she does,
So why?
Why abandon me?
I cared about you but you didn't,
I sacrificed my sleep even though I have an important test the next day just so I could comfort you,
I thought you felt the same but,heh,
Im just 'for display' only,huh?
I knew,you knew,we knew that I had panic attacks,
So why,why didn't you help?
Ah,right,right,
"I'm oblivious" you say that as if it's your favourite sentence,
But,
What is it that's wrong with me that you decided to throw me away?
Is it because I'm fat?
Is it because I'm painful?
Or is it because that I'm…
Alas,we were through,
No need to pretend,we both knew how we felt in the end,
But why?
Why would you sugarcoat those words?
Is it because I'm a weakling?
Is it because I'm not good enough for you?
I guess so too.
If you think that the words you wanted me to say would spew out from my mouth,
You're wrong.
Listen,always think of what future you would think of the present you before you do anything,
But then again,
There were none.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Sun, 15/03/2015 11:13 (9 Years ago)
Today̮͍̥̲̟͓̹̞̤̠͉̳̝̫ͅ ̛̫͎̤̥̰̩̹̬͞is ͟҉̞̭̼̞̯̰͈̘̟̣̜̰͖͙̼͙̙ ̨̳͚͍̤̦̪͔̲̬̻̯͍͉̥̦̱́ͅ ̫̪͇̗̲̭̤͖̫̣͇͔͘ ͕͚͎̦͓̺̤̳̙̝͟ͅ ̸͉̫̘̩͙͖̼̣̞̞̰̼̞͕̀ ̶̗͓͎͓̦̙̭̳̻̫̥̯̱͚̦͔͍͙͟ ̶͜҉͏̞̺̙̥̦̪͇̯̳͍̬̱̰̘̺̠̀ ̴̼̘͇͎͙̘̜̀̀͞ ̴̢̹̥͚͎̮͍̥̲̟͓̹̞̤̠͉̳̝̫́̀ͅ ̛̫͎̤̥̰̩̹̬͞ ͟҉̞̭̼̞̯̰͈̘̟̣̜̰͖͙̼͙̙ ̨̳͚͍̤̦̪͔̲̬̻̯͍͉̥̦̱́ͅ ̵̸̹̼̞͚̹̟̺͎̜̖̦͠ ̴̢̳͔̻͕̮͇̱̀͡ͅͅ ̘̟̺̫̪̺͙̦̳̻͙̣̳́́͝͝ ̤͍͍̭͙̦̤͖͕̯͍̜́͜ͅ ̷̶̥̠͍͚͜͞
This is my final letter to you, and I'm afraid I must make it brief.
I have left you my journal, written in a language that f̕͏̛͈̫̝̩͙̹̱̥̟͓̭̬̬͙͢ẹ̡͕̥̭̞̮̼͟͠ẁ̶̖̫̥̭͓̪͉̖̩͡ ̴̷͏̼̻̩̝̪͉͎̯̠̯͟b̷̼̭̮̠̠̝͍͙͔̀͜͡u̴̢̧̙̖̜̙̦̻̣͘t͏̨̛̰͖̣̝̱̟͍̫͎̜̮̺̮͖̞̤͝ ͏̵̧̺̪͚̮͚̠̥͖ù̶͚̲̺̩̳̟̣̠͎̫͈̩̞̳̳̳̳͘͘̕ͅͅş̷̦͍͖̯̜͖̻͔̣͎̙̻͖̠͢͡ͅͅͅ ̡͉͍̘̟̹̠̮̩͚̹̫̠̫̘̪͉͍̬̕͜c̨̢͎͓͓͇̞̪̝̹̬̬͝͞ǫ̱̳̠̪̗̥͖̗̺̙̪̜̺̺̬̀͢͜͞u̧̙͉̪͇̺̟̬̹͇̹̳͓̞̝͝͝ͅl̷͏̯̪̣͎̦̲̞̘̥̩̥͠d͖̙̼̼̳̱̮͉͉̠̤̦̀͟ ̨͎̪͕̹͔̱̫̗̱͔̤ṷ̧̥͇͓̯͇͍̖̞̫̤͙̺͉̼̞̳̰͘n̸̙̻͈̟̗̥̠͖͈͈͍̼͉͇̳̳͢͠ͅḑ̷̵̭̗̣̝̺̯̻̙̀ę̭̩̝̟͓̰̤̜͢r̲̠̫̭͇̼̞͡͡ș̴̸͖͍̟̞̜̬͈̩t̷̡̪̦̖̥̱͜a̢͈̦͔̟̺̼̦̞͇̗̱̮̼͔͟͡n̶̢̗̳̦͙̯̞͙̣͢͞d̰̼͉̩̞̠̖̖̭̯͕̮̥͍̹͟.
Read it and you'll know everything.
I have also ĺ̶̴͍̖̙͈̘͚͓̞͠é͕͔̤͚̺̲̱̫͢͜͠f̦̖͕̞͚̟͞t͟͜͏҉̖͚̺̲̞̳̹̠̥̙̳̳͙̦̣͞ ̗̜̠̰̼̕͟͞͡y̴͕͈͓̝͙̠̤͓͈̙̭͎̞͍̟͈̞͜ó̶̵̥̗͜ͅu̸̧̺̘̤̪̝̳̘͈̦͎̘͈̝̖̼͘ͅ ҉͍̯̣̺͔̮͉͇̘̮̗͉̣͖͖̪͟͞a̴͍̥̥̺̯̱̣̫̼̝̱̳̗̣̝̙̗͇͈͢͜ ̧̺̰̱̬̬̰̞̦̣̞̦̦̬̹͠m̴͇̤͇͔͉͘a̴͠͏̳̰̥̹̮͕̬̻̱̦̪̰̺̣̫͎̖̯̀s̵̢͙̩̖̻̝̣̘̤͖̞͇͔̳͈͈͉̦̕ͅͅķ̛̛͏̰̫̺͍̹͚̼̺͚́ͅ, in case the toxic fumes ever spread.
Look for a large safe in the quarry to the e̸̛̪̖̮̦̳̣̳̠͍̬̣̬̙̤̼͜à̢̛͔̤͓̤̼͖͔̹̦̤̖̣̻͈͔͍͝s͏̹̙̥̯̙̹̭̺͖͎̬̀͘ͅt̸̡͔̝͕̟̫͍̰̯͓̱̟̭̟̠̭͇͈͈͔
Stay safe. Do not look for me.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Mon, 16/03/2015 15:22 (9 Years ago)
Are you happy to see me suffer?
Are you happy that you stole my one and only sunlight?
Well what should i expect,you both are the same.
Filthy,greedy brats
Always pinning the fault on someone else.
I should've known that i was only for display,
But I chose not to believe.
I hope you guys suffered worse.
I'm so lucky to be off with you,thief.
Eh,you like happy ends?
Sorry,but you made your future a dead end.
And you,follower.
You knew i was with them.
Of course,of course!
You're dense--the same answer i get from different people.
If anyone of us were dense,itd be me.
I just hate you and your guts.
I hope youll be eaten alive.
When you scream for help no one's gonna help.
And I'll just be standing right there,smiling at your decisions.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Thu, 19/03/2015 19:29 (9 Years ago)
Delusional Tax
don’t you think she’s perfect,
don’t you think she’s perfect
what she’s got inside her head,
everything is good again
will this be enough for you?
will this be enough for you?
go ahead and make a wish,
maybe it will finally come true!
yeah, she’s kind of perfect
don’t you think she’s perfect?
taking all there is to give,
bowing over, submissive
will that be enough for you?
will she be enough for you?
wish with all you’ve got to give
maybe it could finally come true!
let’s make a choice, delusion tax!
to turn the livelihood, the noble good
by then we should
be rich in the end!
go on and try - try - try to change reality
right now, it’s time - time - time to leave the past behind
what you desire, this life, and all that’s in between
just say goodbye - bye - bye to all those lesser pains
so, dirty little fantasies,
yeah, dirty up your currency,
let’s settle this for once and for all.
yeah!
surely by tomorrow
surely by tomorrow
everyone’s attention
focused in on only you!,
will that be enough for you,
will that be enough for you?
wish with everything you’ve got,
maybe then, it might just come true!
you’re the only one for me,
you’re the only one for me
perfect like machinery,
system of necessity
you say that it’d be enough,
yet, you try to make me stop
saying “no,” you turn me down,
maybe you and i are fools?
let’s make a choice, delusion tax!
to turn the livelihood, the noble good
by then we should
be rich in the end!
go on and try - try - try to change reality
right now, it’s time - time - time to pay the proper fee
what you desire, this life, and all that’s in between
just say goodbye - bye - bye to all those lesser pains
so, dirty little fantasies,
yeah, dirty up your currency,
let’s settle this for once and for all.
everything you dream about and more,
everyone you’ve tried to hold before,
every time you’ve hated who you were,
shall i make sure that they’re no more?
beauty like you’ve never seen before
love you’ve always dreamed about and more
pay your part, you’ll be just fine i’m sure!
"i swear," "you swear," no more!
let’s make a choice, delusion tax!
to turn the livelihood, the noble good
by then we should
be rich in the end!
go on and try - try - try to change reality
right now, it’s time - time - time to leave the past behind
what you desire, this life, and all that’s in between
just say goodbye - bye - bye to all those lesser pains
but that’s not right - right - right, no matter how you pay,
it’s all a lie - lie - lie, everything that i say,
but that’s just fine - fine - fine, i’ll thank you anyways!
'cause now it's mine - mine - mine, you've thrown it all away!
so, dirty little fantasies,
yeah, dirty up your currency,
let’s settle this for once and for all.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Wed, 25/03/2015 16:37 (9 Years ago)
Stupid - Brendan Maclean
If you weren't so stupid
I could have loved you
And if you weren't so stupid
But you're pretty stupid
And if you weren't so busy
I could have love you
But you work in an office
And you've got other offers
Tell me what is his name now,
What is his name?
I am excited to hear the news.
Tell me what is his name now,
What does it say about you?
But let's not
Be friends
Or else this'll never end
Let's not
Be friends
For sure, for sure
And if you weren't so ugly I could've loved you
It's something I tell myself when down
To get high
Lord
If you made me a coffee I could've loved you
And I'd make you hot chocolate
and anything you wanted
Tell me who is invited?
So f-n' delighted
To see all the boys you see
Tell me why don't I fight it
What does it say about me?
And let's not
Be friends
Or else this'll never end
Let's not,
Be friends
For sure, for sure
We'd adopt,
We'd adopt
I'd have all the things he's got
But I'm not.
So let's stop
Pretend
That there'll be a happy end
Let's not be friends
For, sure
(For sure)
We'd adopt
We'd have dogs
I'd have all the things he's got
But I'm not.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Sat, 28/03/2015 13:50 (9 Years ago)
Broken Hearts/Bones
Whatcha got in the bag
Can I have it?
Put it down, turn around,
and forget it
Hope to die and cross my heart
Hope to die and cross my heart
Say my name and it echoes in the alley
Fall asleep in the arms of your baby
I was yours right from the start
I was yours right from the start
Hope to die and cross my heart
Hope to die and cross my ...
Broken hearts and broken bones
Spent that summer all alone
What's the difference
I know you're waiting for me.
What's your name?
I forgot when you told me.
Something pretty, something right out of a movie.
When you go, I'll fall apart
When you go, I'll fall apart
Hope to die and cross my heart
Hope to die and cross my ...
Broken hearts and broken bones
Spent that summer all alone
What's the difference
I know you're waiting for me.
Broken promise, broken mind
Spent that summer getting high
What's the difference
I'll find you waiting for me.
You didn't give me time to get ready
And you shone a light on all of my fear
Well, you didn't give me time to get ready
And when I changed my mind ...
You disappear.
Broken hearts and broken bones
Spent that summer all alone
What's the difference
I know you're waiting for me
Broken promise, broken mind
Spent that summer getting high
What's the difference this time
Cross my heart and hope to die
Broken hearts and broken bones
Spent that summer all alone
What's the difference
I know you're waiting for me
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Sun, 29/03/2015 13:09 (9 Years ago)
I'm borrowing Berry's laptop as I write this.
Well,to be completely honest,I'm happy.
Happy with all these drama.
I don't need anyone.Nor anything.I'm fine all by myself.
Speaking of which,here's my Wattpad profile.
Why am I posting this?Good question.
I'm quitting.
Yep.
You read right.I'm quitting.
I'm done with everything.Hopefully,Wattpad will be better than this.
I mean,hopefully,that site will make me better.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Wed, 08/04/2015 15:19 (9 Years ago)
Won't be online much. IRL problems. No free time yada yada yada.
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart
Posted: Sun, 19/04/2015 13:35 (9 Years ago)
Heh I'm sick. But it's fine~I'm a sickly person after all~
I’m still singing now, This is my love
Nothing’s changed, right, This is my love
I don’t ever want to be apart
I don’t ever want to be apart