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Forum Thread

SakuraWolf23's Starry Skies

Forum-Index Diaries SakuraWolf23's Starry Skies
SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:19 (3 Years ago)
Please do not post in this Journal!

Welcome! Apologies in advance. I tend to ramble on and post a lot. I'm also horrible when it comes to getting over things, so you might see the same whining again and again. For the most part, though, you'll find updates about my life, the game, my reading, writing, drawing, and other things I find interesting.

Affiliations: Black Ajah, House Stark, Team Jacob, Team Mystic, House Slytherin, House Thunderbird

Other Favorites:
Animal (Wolf), Flower (Cherry Blossom)
Anime (Yu Yu Hakusho) Book Series (Wheel of Time), Character (Astarion and Shuichi Minamino/Yoko Kurama)




SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:19 (3 Years ago)

Title: Roleplay With Me!

Hiya! My name is Cherry Blossom Wolf (Actually wanted it to be SakuraWolf23, but only thought I’d typed that in)! Though you may remember me as Wildfyre, FireWolf1117, Rhoslyn na Foraoise, or Sister of Wolves!

I’ve written since 2005 and worked on fan fiction since 2019. What you may not have known is that I’ve been involved in the roleplay community since December 2011. My main fandom is Star Wars, but I’ve played Vampires, Demons, and Wolf Shifters. I’ve always wanted to (but never found) people in the Pokémon, Wheel of Time, Harry Potter, and Diablo communities. I’ve been considering getting involved in the roleplay community here, but not entirely sure if I should.

I tend to go dark and/or tragic, but I can tone things down and keep them family friendly. If we’re friends, but our characters hate each other, I’m more than capable of keeping the two separate. Our characters will start out as strangers. Enemies and friends will come over the course of several-many interactions. Relationships aren’t desired, but if our characters do wind up growing close enough, I will consider it.

There’s also the consideration of a) I’m a shy bean and b) I’m what would be referred to as a literate multi-para to novella role-player. Which means I dislike things like ‘wyd’ or ‘F0r54k3n’. And I tend to write 3-10 paragraphs depending on what is needed or how much the Muse wants to work with me. That doesn’t mean I won’t roleplay with those types of people. I’d rather not, but if you have an interesting plot, and are still capable of worldbuilding and character development, then I have no problems working with you!

I despise God-modding and metagaming. That means I don’t want your overpowered character who can do anything and everything with no downsides. And I don’t approve of using things I tell you outside of the roleplay to make your character make different decisions. Ex. I tell you that my character plans to play a trick on yours in a pm, you can NOT use that information to make your character suddenly “see” what mine plans.

I’m also known as a pantser. That means I prefer to have only the most basic ideas of how I want things to go, and mostly let the characters choose what direction they want things to go. That also means that sometimes, my plans change, as the character(s) has(ve) decided that the way they want to go is more dramatic and stuff.

I do best with up to two partners but can easily do groups of up to ten providing we have a set order in which to go. More than understanding of real life and lack of creativity getting in the way but would prefer not to go more than two weeks without a reply. Will allow longer, providing you just let me know every so often “Hey. Still dealing with stuff” or “Sorry. Not up to it.”

Hmm. At the moment, I can’t really think of anything else to add.


SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:20 (3 Years ago)

Title: Beliefs

Beliefs

Heh. Wrote this three months or so back. Could have sworn I posted it here.

All people are created equal, and should be provided the same opportunities to succeed. The only thing that should apply when it comes to giving people opportunities are: Do they have the drive and determination to learn? Do they have the talent or skill to accomplish the task set before them? Are they trustworthy, responsible, and reliable? Do they have a positive personality that would not cause too many problems between peers and/or clients? Absolutely nothing else should matter when it comes to chasing your dreams.

**********

The Justice System needs a huge overhaul on what it does, especially the Police Force. Many people have a problem of some sorts with authority figures. It would be beneficial to these people if some of the programs cops oversaw were transferred into outer facilities. AND it would take a huge load off an overworked and underfunded police system. This would also help in the thousands of cases where resources couldn't be committed to something, causing the family to go without closure and justice. But the Law System needs tremendous fixing as well, due to criminals getting away on technicalities, innocents serving time due to the evidence piled against them, or the usage of excessive, unnecessary force.

**********

It breaks my heart to see disrespect, hatred, mockery, and otherwise rude behavior towards groups of people based on the actions of individuals. That's why I once gave a list of comparisons, cause I knew most people would NOT tolerate the discrimination of the whole for the actions of the few. But I was hypocritical myself. When I realized that I was doing the same thing to BLM due to the violent actions of some of the rioters, I looked past my dislike of that small percentage of extremists to support the overall cause.

**********

One of the biggest problems with society is the number of people who get away with their crimes for two reasons. Friends and Family. If you know someone is doing something wrong, and especially if that something is highly likely to get them or others hurt, please turn them in. They don't even have to know that it's you. It's not betraying them. It's saving them. And yourself, by extension. For if you knew the person was up to something and chose to remain silent, and others get hurt, that's also on your hands.

**********

America should return to its old values. Women were courted, brought home early, cherished, respected. Blessings were asked for; dowries were given, etc. Children played outdoors and not on phones. Families gathered to catch up and do board games or other non-tech activities together. Chores and education came before playtime. People were kind and respectful to others. People were willing to fight for the people they loved and what they believed in. Life would still be hard, but I feel that a less technologically advanced world would actually bring us closer together. Not everything about the America that was is great, but I feel many lifestyles and concepts should return.

**********

You don't choose who you fall in love with. The person can start out as your worst enemy, and yet, over time and through shared experiences, become the person you want to spend your life with. When you find that special someone, the differences between you shouldn't matter. And even though marriage is just a piece of paper, in some things, spouses get rewards or benefits. As such, I firmly believe that, whatever you identify as, you should be able to marry your partner.

**********

People have every right to diminish contact with situations and people that they feel are toxic to them. They have the right to block or ignore you for whatever reason, so long as it makes them feel safer. I actually used to block for minor disagreements or someone making me feel uncomfortable and not wanting to deal with it at that moment. Now, I block after much thought and discussion, making sure it's something necessary for my mental health before doing so.

I also used to speak about the "maturity" of taking help from someone you despised. But I've thought a lot on that, and, truth be told, I really don't think I'd be able to stomach the thought of being indebted to someone I hate. It's possible I'd do it if I had no other choice, but I'm not sure at the moment.

**********

The truest of any type of -ship are those in which both people still have a super tight bond, even if their opinions and beliefs are wholly different. You could fight every single day, possibly even about the same thing, but, if you cared for the person and wanted them to stay in your life, you'd accept these difficult differences. The people who end -ships over minor things are petty and shallow, and don't belong in your life. They're the type of people who only want to surround themselves with those who think and feel the same way. They want people to kiss their feet and hang on their every word. If you don't live and breathe for them, they have no care for you. Actually knew a few people like that. Still like that even though our friendship's been over for 5+ years.

**********

A while back I made a post that came across as "Your lack of action and desires are the reason why you continue to be in the same horrible situations and live in the same community." In hindsight, this was poorly worded and explained. Not to mention that my point didn't really apply to this situation because sometimes, things are much, much, much more difficult than a simple "Try Harder".

But what I meant is this. The environment you grow up in and the number of opportunities it provides has a great impact on how far you'll go in life. But, the truth of the matter is, the only person stopping you from achieving your dreams or the changes you seek is YOU. Change is difficult. It takes time, cooperation, and dedication. If you aren't willing to give something your all, how can you ever expect anything to be done? You gotta hold tightly onto your desires, and overcome all obstacles that are thrown in your way. Don't settle for what you have. Don't blame others or make excuses for your lack of desire. Don't wait for the changes you seek to fall out of the sky into your lap. BE the change.

SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:20 (3 Years ago)

Title: Book Collection



SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:20 (3 Years ago)

Title: Delightful Dadness 2020

Thank you so much to the PFQ Staff member who retrieved this for me. I was worried after I accidentally erased it from my journal here while trying to rearrange the first page. This will get moved back there soon.

Cats and Dragons
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I'm in the middle of cleaning dishes in prep for dinner, and dad yells out:
Cats are so stupid!

I pause, turn the water off, and walk into the livingroom to ask: Why? What did they do now? (I thought one or more of my five cats had decided to do something dumb)

He says: Cats insist upon playing with things much bigger than them. And their curiosity makes it to where they have no problem jumping into the water to see what this strange thing is.

I start looking around the immediate area, trying to see what the cats could have been playing with.

Dad changes Tabs to the Lab and gets my attention. It took me a few seconds to realize what brought on the random thoughts. In the Lab are a Skitty and three blue eggs. Since blue typically equals water, dad thought that Skitty was playing in the water and was gonna get eaten by the dragons.

If Cats Could Fly
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Once I was able to evolve Kitwurm, I called dad in to show him the evolutions.
I evolved the unhappy Kitwurm, gave it a Shiny Stone, and started feeding it Sweethearts.

Dad: Wait. So first you have to make it unhappy, and then you have to make it happy? That's so rude. Just look at the Purrpa's face. He looks so sad.

*shows Moffkat*

Dad: Yes. Because cats weren't bad enough without the ability to fly. Whoever came up with that idea hasn't ever owned cats. Ours fly all over the place, and they do it without wings. Imagine all the trouble they could get into if they could really fly.

Watching Without Me
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Just got off the phone with my dad, who's out of town with my brother while I'm at home helping mom getting everything set up after her move.

Dad: You're going to love this. We're on season three of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Me: Excuse me?!! What in the world made you think it was okay to watch that without me? (Dad and I only watched season one together)
Dad: You said I could watch whatever without you, and that you'd watch it later
Me: I meant the seasons of Monk, Unforgettable, Smallville and Defiance that I left there.
Dad: Ohhh! Now you tell me!

And I'm just a mix of upset and amused. I did say "whatever" but he knew exactly what I meant lol

Pranking My Brother
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OMG! We all just got done with a huge laughing fit.

Dad, mom, and I went to town. She was stopping by the DMV to get new tags, license, and a title for her car. We're about 15 minutes from home when I come up with the best idea ever.

I told mom to hide, and I called my brother in. Here's how things went.

Me: So...Funny story. We're waiting for mom to get the stuff done. After about 15 minutes, the cops showed up. Apparently the DMV called the cops on her because she didn't get everything transferred over in 14 days. Said that she was going to have to pay $10k in fines and spend two months in jail, but that she'd be confined to the house until the court date.

Joshua got upset, and started freaking out. We let this carry on for about another 5-10 minutes, and then I went to fetch mom.

Shes comes out of hiding, and Joshua starts yelling and swearing at all of us. His face was bright red, and he was a mix of angry and amused.

Dad gave me a kudos for managing to carry this on for so long without giving anything away.

Can't Solve This
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Lol. Posted November 2015

Dad finally opens the Rubik cube I got him.

He shows me the box that it came in and that it had Chinese lettering on it, then says "You didn't tell me it came from China."

He then shows me the cube and tells me he can't solve it anymore because the colors are in Chinese as well.

Ghost Pepper
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As we finished eating lunch, dad asked me what I was making for dinner. I thought about it a bit before replying "Lasagna". He asked if he could put spices on it, and I was agreed cause even though it was premade lasagna, typically his seasonings/spices make everything better.

At some point during the next several hours, I saw him fold up his bag of Ghost Pepper Chex Mix and take it into the kitchen. I just assumed he was throwing it away cause neither one of us really liked how hot it was.

As I grab the lasagna to start cooking it, I asked him when he wanted to put the spices on, and he said during the last 15 minutes. My mind had completely forgotten about the bag he took to the kitchen.

Just now, dad's making a weird sound in the kitchen. I turned around to see him using a Meat Tenderizer on something in a bowl. He pauses like his hand has been caught in the cookie jar.

I asked him what he was doing. He replied in an "uh-oh. I've been caught" voice: I'm mixing spices.

Suddenly, everything became clear, and I'm like "Oh, no you didn't. No."

With a huge smile on his face, he says in a childish "neener-neener" tone: "Too late. You done said that I could do it, so I'm doing it."

6768
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That cool moment when the amount of Pokemon in your Fields is dad's birthday. XD


Arrogance
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We're talking about the Haunted Hallows in Ultima Online Evolution, and I remind dad that even if I don't go there for the Stealables, that we need to go for the Pumpkins and the chests.

He said that he has his Lockpicks and Loot Macro ready. He goes even further, saying, "And my Loot Macro is better than yours."

So, I naturally respond with: "Anything you can do, I can do better!"

Dad: "I get to say that quite often."

Me: "That's being arrogant."

Dad: "It's not arrogance when you're as good as I am."

Me: "Arrogance at it's finest."

Dad: "See?! I'm the finest at that, too!"

PokeHeroes, Wailnado
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Me: One thing I've never understood is how that Wailord keeps getting into the Bug Meadow.

Dad: Wailnado.

Me: :O How dare they make their own?!

Dad: I'm sure the Sharpedo will get over it.

Red
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Dad saw this on Facebook earlier, and got me with it. I then got mom with it. My brother, however, wasn't fooled.

Dad: I bet I can make you say "red"
Me: How?
Dad: What color is the sky?
Me: Blue.
Dad: Told you I could make you say "blue"
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...
Me: But you said "red"
Dad: Booyah!

Coleslaw
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11.20.2017
I got out some coleslaw to eat with lunch.
Dad: That's going to be for dinner tonight, but I don't think you're going to like it.
Me: Why not?
Dad: Most people don't like it.
Me: Do you like it?
Dad: No. It's disgusting.
Me: Then why did you get it?
Dad: So you could enjoy something disgusting.
Me: 😑
Dad, as I'm reading this to him: Depending on how it's made, I do like coleslaw.

Nobody Asked You!
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About thirty seconds into my PKRS, I came up with a funny.
Just had to wait for dad to notice that I had PKRS.
Finally, he looks over, and says: "Good Job!"
To which, I respond with: "NOBODY ASKED YOU JAMES!"
And he laughs. "How long have you been waiting to say that?"
I glanced at time. "9 1/2 minutes. Though, I couldn't decide between saying Patrice or your name. But it was funny either way."

*Not everyone will get the reference. But those who do will laugh with us XD

Drama Seeker
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Dad: It's only 8:30. Do you want to watch two episodes of Smallville?
Me: No. I want to read.
Dad: Okay. I'll go to bed as soon as I'm done with some other stuff.
Me: Awww. I wanna read.
Dad: Do so then.
Me: Does that mean I can stay up if I'm going to read? You did say I could if I wanted to write.
Dad: No.
Me: Why? I promise I won't get involved in drama.
Dad: Right. You'll look. And if you can't find any, you'll make some.
Me: I can't cook. What makes you think I can whip up drama at a whim?
Dad: *gives me the look*
Me: *raises hands in innocent, angelic surrender*

SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:21 (3 Years ago)

Title: Drawing Projects

Eeveelutions
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All Dual Type Eeveelutions
All Dual Type Eeveelution Megas
All Single Type Eeveelutions
All Single Type Eeveelution Megas
All Current as Sword/Shield
Alolan, Galarian, Hisuan Forms
Valentine's Day
Fourth of July
Halloween
Christmas
Seasonal
Sylveon Mismagius/Leafeon F Meowstic
Eeveelutions in Cat Costumes

Fursona
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One of these days, I'm going to draw or commission my fursona. Here's what I picture so far

-Name: Rhoslyn (means "Rose Valley")
-Female Wolf
-Glasses
-Wavy red waist-length hair
-Poinsettia in the hair above the right ear
-Golden brown fur with a red-tipped tail(s)
-Elegant and sophisticated appearance
-Shy, reticent, or determined pose
-Haunted, yet compassionate and knowledgeable eyes
-Book in one arm, likely Wicca related
-Other hand prepared to launch purple flame
-Triquetra necklace
-Green blouse and leaflike skirt to slightly below the knees
-Barefoot
-In a forest, by a stream, or amidst cherry blossoms

I'm strongly considering commissioning it because I know that someone else could bring her to life in ways that I can't. But I'm going to attempt her first.

Other
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Multi Tailed Wolf Cat OC
Plushies of each Pokemon
Alice with Sword, Butterflies, Hourglass, Forest, 1001
Four Themed Bookmarks

Wolf Spiders
Fox, Marble Fox, Husky, Siamese, Savannah, German Shephard

Writing
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31 Spooktacular Stories
One chilling image representing each short story. I will list the list later.

Sinfully Sweet
Similar to 31 Spooktacular Stories, I'm going to create an image of each Sin for each book. And then, with all 26 books out, I'll release one of all 182 images. Maybe even including...hmmm...26 unique ones?
Seven Sins Cats

Angel of the Shadows
Giovanni and Persian on couch. Angel reaching for Dossier placed on table. Sylvie at top of stairs
Sad Jenny in background. Angel in foreground, walking away, crying
Makeup ruined from crying, Ally throws pokeball at Angel
Angel falls to her knees after Clefables screech. Pokeball seen bouncing off root.
Angel, lei upon her neck, shyly talks to Elsa and Eldegoss. Shadow Raichu barely visible in distance
Angel, on Shadow Rapidash, looking up at building to see Maya
Angel laying on the grass, resting after a long ride, satchel beside her
Angel looking out from tree hole. Jesse, James, and Meowth kneel on ground

SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:21 (3 Years ago)

Title: Drizzt Do'Urden Collection

According to this list, there's like 292 books total in the Forgotten Realms world. And I must have all of them! Starting with my favorite character, Drizzt Do'Urden!

🗸 = Read 🗸🗸 = Own 🗸🗸🗸 = Read/Own

Dark Elf Trilogy (1-3) 🗸🗸🗸
Homeland • Exile • Sojourn

Icewind Dale Trilogy (4-6) 🗸🗸🗸
The Crystal Shard • Streams of Silver • The Halfling's Gem

Legacy of the Drow (7-10) 🗸🗸
The Legacy • Starless Night • Siege of Darkness • Passage to Dawn

Paths of Darkness (11-13) 🗸🗸
The Silent Blade • The Spine of the World • Sea of Swords

The Sellswords (14-16)
Servant of the Shard • Promise of the Witch-King • Road of the Patriarch

Hunter's Blades Trilogy (17-19)
The Thousand Orcs • The Lone Drow • The Two Swords

Transitions (20-22)
The Orc King • The Pirate King • The Ghost King

The Neverwinter Saga (23-26)
Gauntlgrym • Neverwinter • Charon's Claw • The Last Threshold

Sundering (27)
The Companions

Companions Codex (28-30)
Night of the Hunter • Rise of the King • Vengeance of the Iron Dwarf

Homecoming (31-33)
Archmage • Maestro • Hero

Generations (34-36)
Timeless • Boundless • Relentless

The Collected Stories: The Legend of Drizzt
The First Notch • Dark Mirror • The Third Level • Guenhwyvar • That Curious Sword • Wickless in the Nether • The Dowery • Comrades at Odds • If They Ever Happened Upon My Lair • Bones and Stones • Iruladoon • To Legend He Goes

SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:21 (3 Years ago)

Title: Family Fun

Ghost Pepper Chimichangas
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I opened the freezer to pull out a hamburger for tomorrow night, and saw all the chimichanga bags. My eyes fell upon one that was black with flames.

Me: I see you got a really hot bag of burritos. I can tell by the flames on the bag.
Dad: Did you read the name? It's called "Not for Samantha"
Me: *pulls package out a bit*

Flavor: GHOST PEPPER

Me: Oh, heck no!
Dad, with a smile on his face: I told you it wasn't for you.
Me: I highly doubt you'll be able to eat it either.
Dad: Don't know. But for three bucks, I'll find out.

Seven Deadly Sins Joke
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Just got off the phone with my dad, who's out of town with my brother while I'm at home helping mom getting everything set up after her move.

Dad: You're going to love this. We're on season three of the Seven Deadly Sins.
Me: Excuse me?!! What in the world made you think it was okay to watch that without me? (Dad and I only watched season one together)
Dad: You said I could watch whatever without you, and that you'd watch it later
Me: I meant the seasons of Monk, Unforgettable, Smallville and Defiance that I left there.
Dad: Ohhh! Now you tell me!

And I'm just a mix of upset and amused. I did say "whatever" but he knew exactly what I meant lol

Joke on Brother
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OMG! We all just got done with a huge laughing fit.

Dad, mom, and I went to town. She was stopping by the DMV to get new tags, license, and a title for her car. We're about 15 minutes from home when I come up with the best idea ever.

I told mom to hide, and I called my brother in. Here's how things went.

Me: So...Funny story. We're waiting for mom to get the stuff done. After about 15 minutes, the cops showed up. Apparently the DMV called the cops on her because she didn't get everything transferred over in 14 days. Said that she was going to have to pay $10k in fines and spend two months in jail, but that she'd be confined to the house until the court date.

Joshua got upset, and started freaking out. We let this carry on for about another 5-10 minutes, and then I went to fetch mom.

Shes comes out of hiding, and Joshua starts yelling and swearing at all of us. His face was bright red, and he was a mix of angry and amused.

Dad gave me a kudos for managing to carry this on for so long without giving anything away.

Rubix Cube
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Lol. From November 2015

Dad finally opens the Rubik cube I got him.

He shows me the box that it came in and that it had Chinese lettering on it, then says "You didn't tell me it came from China."

He then shows me the cube and tells me he can't solve it anymore because the colors are in Chinese as well.

Ghost Pepper Lasagna
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As we finished eating lunch, dad asked me what I was making for dinner. I thought about it a bit before replying "Lasagna". He asked if he could put spices on it, and I was agreed cause even though it was premade lasagna, typically his seasonings/spices make everything better.

At some point during the next several hours, I saw him fold up his bag of Ghost Pepper Chex Mix and take it into the kitchen. I just assumed he was throwing it away cause neither one of us really liked how hot it was.

As I grab the lasagna to start cooking it, I asked him when he wanted to put the spices on, and he said during the last 15 minutes. My mind had completely forgotten about the bag he took to the kitchen.

Just now, dad's making a weird sound in the kitchen. I turned around to see him using a Meat Tenderizer on something in a bowl. He pauses like his hand has been caught in the cookie jar.

I asked him what he was doing. He replied in an "uh-oh. I've been caught" voice: I'm mixing spices.

Suddenly, everything became clear, and I'm like "Oh, no you didn't. No."

With a huge smile on his face, he says in a childish "neener-neener" tone: "Too late. You done said that I could do it, so I'm doing it."

Take More Care
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My Brother: *using a Whisk Broom to "brush" my hair.
Me: You do realize that has a lot of drywall/sawdust particles and other dirt and grime in it.
Josh: Chefs always season their food. I'm like a hairdresser.
Me: How so?
Josh: I'm styling your hair with the dirt. You should take more care in your appearance.

Never Reveal
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I've done something horrible. Never reveal to your sibling leverage against their parent(s). Not sure if he forgot, or never had the chance to see it himself....But he now knows how badly cotton balls freak mom out. She's not too happy with me at the moment. My brother, on the other hand, is highly amused and plotting all sorts of mischief.

Grayskull and Dad
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Grayskull's laying all cute on the floor, but the position he's in makes him look like Loki. Pretty sure it was Grayskull, though, so I called his name. He twitched his ear, turned to look at me, and returned to his nap.

And I'm just like: "Oh! So you DO know your name."

Dad: Don't remember the actual numbers, but cats understand a lot more words and phrases than dogs do. They just pretend they don't.

Me: So you're saying that cats really are plotting to take over the world, but they fake a lack of smarts to make us underestimate them?

Dad: Exactly!

Furby Randomness
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I went into the fridge to find something for lunch, and stumbled across this, courtesy of my brother.

SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:22 (3 Years ago)

Title: Favorite Quotes

"Be very careful with anyone who is close to your enemy or anyone who hates you. Such a person is more dangerous than your enemy because they have access to you."

"But I forgive you. Even if you can't admit what you did, I forgive you anyway. Your life must be filled with such incredible loneliness, if your only joy comes from destroying everyone else's happiness. It's so sad, Mayor Mills, because, despite what you think, it won't make you happy. It's only going to leave a giant hole in your heart." -Mary Margaret, Once Upon a Time

"If you have to hurt other people in order to feel powerful, you are an extremely weak individual."

"Sometimes you have to let go of what's killing you; even if it's killing you to let go."

"Suicide is not the answer. There is neither honor nor redemption in that."-Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho

"The cruelest thing you can do to another person is pretending you care about them more than you actually do."

"There is no one who does not carry scars on his heart. If there were someone like that in this world, he'd be a shallow soul."-Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho

"Us? Them? Look at them. They ARE us. What differences do you see?"-Kiara, The Lion King II: Simba's Pride

"Yes, kill me to avoid your problems. It's time you bit the bullet and started caring about something with all your heart and energy. But you can't care about it if you're always holding yourself back in case it doesn't work out. Concentrate on what's important, Yusuke!"-Genkai to Yusuke, Yu Yu Hakusho

"You made the choice, and it was uncoerced. For you to question such a choice is not simply useless, but harmful. Such doubts will chain the mind to an endless circle of pointless speculation and self-recrimination. You should prepare yourself to live with the consequences of your decisions, whatever they may be."-Vergere to Jacen Solo

"You want a reason to live? That's one good reason, there. It angers your enemies. If you can't live for those who love you, then live to spite those who hate your guts. Every breath you take is a spit in their eye. Savor it as such, knowing they begrudge you every intake that feeds your starving lungs."-Apollymi to Urien, Stygian, Dark Hunter Series by Sherrilyn McQueen

"We have three kinds of family. Those we are born to, those who are born to us, and those we let into our hearts."-Simi, Dark Hunter Series by Sherrilyn McQueen
SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:22 (3 Years ago)

Title: Favorite Songs

1,000 Words (FFX, Russian Version)
Into the Unknown (Idina Menzel)
Leave Out All The Rest (Linkin Park)
Let It Go (Idina Menzel)
Me and You (Vanessa Anne Hudgens)
One Day Too Late (Skillet)
Really Don't Care (Demi Lovato)
Shake It Off (Taylor Swift)
Show Yourself (Idina Menzel)
Star Sky (Two Steps from Hell)
The Climb (Miley Cyrus)
Things Left Unsaid (Disciple)
Try Everything (Shakira)
Zero (Bump of Chicken, Japanese Version)

Favorite Non-English Spotify Playlist

See Also: Favorite Anime + Favorite Books + Favorite Shows

SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:22 (3 Years ago)

Title: Find Me On

Removed for Mental Health and Safety Reasons
SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:23 (3 Years ago)

Title: Game Excitement

2019 Shaymin
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Interactions between Shaymin
1: 39.952
2: 26.146
3: 50,355
4: 1,867
5: 131,232
6: 60,611
7: 131,536
8: 111,257
#9: 110,150
#10: 141,163

30 Days Most Interactions
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Immortalizing this here:
I was #9 in the "Most Interactions in 30 Days" in 2019
on 9-11, 9-12, 9-13, 9-14

Oops! Forgot to check on the 15th, but was out on the 16th!

Oh, hey! Lol! I got back in at 9th place!
9-17

I was 8th place on 9-18!

And 10th place on 9-19, 9-20, 9-21, 9-22, 9-23, 9-24!

Out on 9-25!

*Also...I'm really sorry...I know it seems a bit pathetic that I listed off all the dates I was in, but I worked really hard to get in, and honestly didn't think I'd stay in for longer than a day.

Emveelutions
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Truth be told...I am honestly surprised that there are no Emveelutions (Emera Eeveelutions).

Course....It's probably hard to come up with a theme that fits all seven. Best I can think of would be seasonal fun.

Like...Each Eeveelution
Dressed up as a different flower to represent Spring
Or holding a unique ornament to represent Winter
Or with a different Beach toy to represent Summer
Or with a different leaf to represent Autumn

Hopefully Spriters could come up with much better ideas and such, and I wouldn't mind if they just came out with ones for different Holidays. Like Santa Glaceon, Spoopy Umbreon, Deep Sea Vaporeon, etc.

In All Four Medal Rallies
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Well this has been a long time :D


Shadow Moltres
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OMG! Caught this Shadow Moltres at Chain 56! Took me 15 Ultra Balls to catch it! I was getting scared that it was going to flee. 25th on site!


Last Bit of Shiny Mega Ponyta Hunt
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By PokéRadar - 3 Minutes and 21 Seconds ago.
Congratulations! A shiny Ponyta hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #956)!
By PokéRadar - 3 Minutes and 21 Seconds ago.
Congratulations! A Mega Ponyta hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #957)!
By PokéRadar - 2 Minutes and 46 Seconds ago.
Congratulations! A shiny Ponyta hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #962)!
By PokéRadar - 2 Minutes and 46 Seconds ago.
Congratulations! A Mega Ponyta hatched out of one of your eggs (Chain #963)!

My last 30 Eggs from my Shiny Mega Ponyta Hunt, lasting from December 1st, 2019 to January 4th, 2020

#1049 Shiny
#1050 Mega
#1055 Shiny Mega
#1067 Mega
#1071 Shiny

Shadow Entei and Shadow Ho-oh
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On February 9th, I got TWO Shadow Legendaries from the Radar.
7th On Site Shadow Entei
8th On Site Shadow Ho-oh

Entei is my favorite Johto Legendary, and my first Shadow Legendary of that Region. Ho-oh is my second Shadow Legendary from Johto.

First Place Beauty Contest
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02-24-20
Solgaleo took 7th place in the Beauty Contest. I'm beyond ecstatic at this. Never had a top 20 before. ^.^

Shadow Raikou
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Finally caught the annoying Shadow Raikou.
Also note that this is the FIRST time a Shadow has fled from me, and it chose to do it THREE TIMES!

The Shadow Raikou fled...
Continue hunt
You found 6 in a row so far!

The chain broke at 8 due to misjudging distance

The Shadow Raikou fled...
Continue hunt
You found 61 in a row so far!

The chain broke due to not remembering where I left off

The Shadow Raikou fled...
Continue hunt
You found 120 in a row so far!

The Shadow Raikou has been caught successfully!
Finish hunt
You found 130 in a row so far!

Two MA Bug Hatching Heracross

Unique Tracker
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Normal:
x81 x10 x3 x4 x1 x1 x2 x56
Shiny:
x01 x01 x0 x0 x0 x0 x0 x01

Normal Retro:
x7 x10 x4
Shiny Retro:
x0 x00 x0

Some Random Notes
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Earliest First Shiny: 36 Applin, 2 Kricketot
Latest First Shiny: 129 Komala
Longest Time Between Shinies: 173 Ponyta (Galarian)
Earliest Event Pass Shiny: 66 Scattercube
Latest Event Pass Shiny: 190 Chocoluv
Earliest Shiny Mega: 56 Magikarp
Latest Shiny Mega: 1453 Absol

Pokemon Eclipse
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Joined a game called Pokemon Eclipse. FireWolf1117 there. Still getting the hang of things, BUT

I did let a Shiny Breloom get away because I didn't know how to change to Pokeballs. I just attacked it, fainted it, and then assumed the option to throw a pokeball would be given. Didn't realize I'd have to select it.

Oh well. Got these two! The Miltank was a 1 in like 405 chance. And the Dunsparce was a 1 in 11000 chance.

[center]

Higher or Lower
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My new number was 10 - so it was higher than 7! You made it to round 33. You won 344000 Game Chips - congratulations!

Oh, wow! So close to getting in Top 10! But at least I made everything back that I lost in the last half hour. That's all the H-o-L for now.

Beat my previous record by 10!
63. Wildfyre 33

SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:23 (3 Years ago)

Title: Hack Avoidance Tips

*Note that this will not prevent it, but will make it pretty darn impossible.

-If a friend is posting things out of character, do NOT click on any links they post or send you

-Make sure Passwords to all your accounts are not only *different*, but at least a 10 Alphanumeric. For example, "Password" is much easier to hack than "P455W0Rd", but <-- is still used commonly enough that I wouldn't recommend it. If you have trouble remembering multiple passwords, create a Document or Spreadsheet of your Login Info, and password protect it. Don't name it anything that would draw attention to it like "Favorite Cat Video Links"

-Where you can get a virus from any page, you can NOT get hacked simply by looking at someone's page. You MUST click some link on their page to do so. And even then, your password MUST be easy to break.

-Links don't always take you to where they say they will. That's why if I receive an Email from Amazon/Ebay saying my account was hacked, I go to their page from the Search Bar. I also never click on a link even from a trusted friend unless they say "I'm sending a link" first from another source (text or say that they're going to send a link, and then send the link on Facebook) or without hovering over the link to verify its url path.

-There is ZERO need to "constantly" change your password to keep "logging out" the hacker. ALL you need to do is change the password to a 10 Alphanumeric the first chance you get. According to every site I look at about Passwords, this will take one Advanced Coder with one computer MONTHS to hack. Once it's changed, you are SAFE.

-NEVER make your Password birthdates, special dates, or unique things about you that are easy to figure out for anyone who knows you well enough.

*Advice is based half an hour of research (we actually did research on this the day before the hacking happened cause Encryption/Decryption came up in 24 Season 2, and I was curious). Dad has also worked with computers for 30 years and has never been hacked. Neither have I, even when my Passwords were Weak Strength (from 8-16 years old when I didn't know any better).
SakuraWolf23
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Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:23 (3 Years ago)

Title: Harvest Sprite/Mewton Progress

You can find all your stats here
Coinflip
50k times ✓
500k times ✓
So Far: 2,009,314
Normal

Concentration
1000 Pairs ✓
20k Pairs ✗
So Far: 995 Pairs
Normal

Golden Slots
5000 Golden Game Chips ✓
50k Golden Game Chips ✓
So Far: 655,440 GGC Spent
Normal Shiny
Hangman
100 Words ✓
1000 Words ✗
So Far: 374 Solved
Normal

Higher or Lower
1000 times ✓
5000 times ✗
So Far: 8,262 Correct Guesses
Normal

Lottery
10k Tickets in total ✓
200k Tickets in total ✗
So Far: 10,019 tickets Bought
Normal






Treasure Hunt
500 times ✓
5000 times ✓
So Far: 16,203 Boxes Opened
Normal






***************************************************************************
Aqua
1,000 Lab Adopts ✓
50,000 Lab Adopts ✓
So Far: 112,318 Lab Adopts
Normal

Bold
250 Grass Adopts ✓
7,500 Grass Adopts ✗
So Far: 1,024 Grass Adopts
Normal

Chef
250 Dishes Cooked ✓
10,000 Dishes Cooked ✗
So Far: 2,583 Dishes Cooked
Normal
Hoggy:
500,000 Interactions Made ✓
10,000,000 Interactions Made ✓
So Far: 12,784,636 Interactions Made
Normal

Nappy:
25 Honey Tree Caught ✓
500 Honey Tree Caught ✓
So Far: 731 Honey Tree Caught
Normal

Staid:
250 Beach Caught ✓
10,000 Beach Caught ✗
So Far: 1,889 Beach Caught
Normal
Timid
Harvest 1 L50 Berry ✓
Make 10 Different L100 Berries ✗
So far: 1, 1
Normal







Rainbow
Hatch other 7 Sprites
Normal

SakuraWolf23
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Forum Posts: 1,095
SakuraWolf23
OFFLINE
Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:24 (3 Years ago)

Title: Insights

Insights

Always the outsider
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I've been around mental and emotional abuse all my life. Mostly from family members who couldn't tolerate me, and occasionally from friends who became enemies. I KNOW my past experiences aren't excuses for my current behavior. I KNOW that my whining and sobbing is moot if I don't have the courage to do anything about it. But I've always found it sickening to not only kick someone when they're down but to do so when they're struggling to pick themselves back up.

No matter what site I'm on, whenever I get comfortable enough to speak up, I get reamed for something or other. Most of it seems to stem from my words being misinterpreted. Very rarely have I actually deserved it. Which is why I believe I do need to change. I've been doing great at knowing how, when, and where to speak. I just need to learn how to not allow what others say or do to affect me, especially when I know it wasn't intentional on my part. The most important thing I need to do is to stop the subtle throwouts designed just to be a jerk.

I made it to 30!
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Just want to say that I can't believe I'm now 30. I honestly didn't think I'd make it this far. For years, (2008-2014), mom struggled to even pay rent of $400 a month. We lived with the constant fear of being kicked to the streets. We moved five times during those years. One time, we were just a day away from being homeless. And yet, I still don't believe in God or miracles.

At one point, my mom and brother were living with our cousins. I'd been kicked out due to my intolerance of the way the woman treated us and her kids. I didn't work, and though my mom tried to pay for a place that was a mile away, she also still had to pay for her own rent.

For an entire month, I ate nothing but peanut butter, raisins, and other such foods. My "place" was an RV that wasn't fully running. I had no water and no heat. Thankfully had electricity. Close to the end of that month, I almost gave up on life. I had a plan.

Knowing my late friend was watching me...Knowing that she wouldn't approve. Knowing that I still had a chance if I was brave enough. All of that gave me courage. And that's why every day, you should remind yourself of the people and things that matter most to you. Because, perhaps those memories will be able to pull you back if you find yourself all alone.

Finally, thanks to an excessive amount of begging from mom and resentful promises from me, I was allowed to come back. But things still weren't good. I still suffered emotionally and mentally at the hands of our cousin. A week later, an online roleplay friend who I'd come to love like a sister suddenly passed away. A week after that, mom said some things to me I will never forget.

It was then that I reached out to my dad, who I hadn't seen in 21 years. Who I'd heard so much hateful lies and rumors about. He was more than willing to take me in. A week after that, I had a plane ticket to Seattle. It was my first flight, and I was super scared. Everything I owned fit into TWO duffel bags and a carry-on. And I've come so far since that moment. I honestly don't know where I'd be right now if I hadn't taken that leap of faith. I'm also so very grateful that dad said yes to me coming up here. I know firsthand the darkness of hopelessness. I know how difficult it is to gain the energy to fight.

Reflections
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Saw someone's end of the year post, and just...It hit me hard.

I choose to hold onto the good in people, even when they don't deserve it. I consistently tried to go back to those failed, toxic "friendships". I did this for 21 years of my life. And it did indeed get harder and harder to say "no". I made up justifications and excuses for the other person. Found reasons to blame myself and say that I deserved it, even when I definitely did NOT.

I'm so very thankful that I finally learned the hard way this year from three ended friendships on Facebook, real life family drama, and several other instances that ME and MY mental health and wellbeing are the priority. Do NOT stay in situations and relationships that are harmful and toxic. Not even to wait for revenge. The only one you're harming is yourself. The best revenge is to smile, do nothing, and move on. It's hard, but YOU WIN!

I've been through so much this year. At first, I chose to let it make me bitter. But, as I sit back and reflect, SO MUCH good came from it. I learned a lot about myself. Saw the true colors in people I thought were my friends. Began to fight my Anxiety and Depression. Started writing more. And so many other positives.

Five years ago, I was a monster. And I saw myself becoming that person again. So I'm very thankful for the eye-openers I got this year. I'm also very glad that I chose not to hurt back. Especially one person recently. You never know what someone else is going through. You never know if your words or actions will be their final straw. NEVER let your pain and anger dictate your life. Don't become like me. Don't become a monster.

From now on, I'm surrounding myself with positive people and situations. I'll do my best to leave toxic friendships sooner rather than later. That will be more difficult than it sounds, because I also have a tendency to overreact. So I need to make sure that they gave me a strong, VALID reason to leave.

I'm moving on. Not only from this year, but from the desire to explain myself to people who don't understand me. To people who wouldn't believe me even if I went blue in the face. I'm letting go of my anger and hate. Not because I'm admitting defeat, but because it's simply not worth it. I'm done dwelling on what I *should have* said or done. I can't change the past or take things back. The only thing I can do is become better.

Here's to an amazing new year! ^.^
And if anyone would like to send me into the new year with positivity, feel free to drop an anon message on my Secret Whisper

I need Therapy?
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Been thinking a lot lately, and I feel like I should set aside some time to meditate or find someone to speak to. I had this same problem four years ago when my first internet love tore my heart out and then denied our relationship. For two whole years, I was a mess. I didn't understand how I messed up. I felt like I was unworthy of love. People continuously told me that there was nothing wrong with me. He was a mental/emotional manipulator/abuser. To this day, I still don't quite understand the situation. I know it wasn't me, but it's so very hard to heal.

Why do I bring this up? Both then and now, I had nobody really to talk to about the situation. At least, nobody who could fully understand my mental, logic, and thought processes, and that could make valid arguments that I could comprehend. Everything since August, both in-game, and in real life haven't been properly processed yet. And I think that's why I keep stupidly bringing up stuff about it. I'm just super scared that the therapist (or whoever I speak to), will find and outright call my reactions childish. Like...I kind of know I'm building Mount Everest from an anthill, but...Everyone sets off and processes things in different ways.

I mean, yeah. I fully know and understand that people like that don't care what I say or do. That they're hurting and want others to hurt, too. I know all the lines about ignoring narcissists, bullies, and abusers. I just...Can't figure out why it's so difficult for me to come to terms with these things. It really hurts having to heal on my own. To feel so alone and misunderstood. Hopefully, one day soon, I can find the person(s) who speak the language of my soul. I don't hold out hope for it, though. So, I guess..

Here I go again on my own. Going down the only road I've ever known.

Next Day:
When I first came to live with dad, we would have nightly conversations before going to bed. No clue what happened, but after like four months, we kind of stopped. Well, last night, we wound up having a very therapeutic discussion that lasted an hour. I'd brought up wanting to go to therapy and/or finding someone to talk to. My reasoning was that, because I can't seem to move past things, that I needed to get to the root of WHY. Upon being told that real therapy could take years to have an impact on my mental state, I simply discussed it with him. We talked about my earlier years, and pretty much came to conclusions I already knew.

I spent 24 years of my life hearing from everyone how worthless I was. How I'd never amount to anything. That I was unworthy of love. That I was nothing but a problem. When you're repeatedly told something by a person/people, you start to believe it. Once you accept their words, it's tremendously difficult to even consider the possibility that they are wrong.

From this moment on, every time I begin to have dark, self-loathing, negative thoughts, I'm going to remind myself of the following. For the longest time, I've allowed every negative thing to happen to me to make me bitter. No more! I'm taking back my power! Step by step, day by day, I WILL become the person I was meant to be. This weak little pup has had enough! Time to become a full-fledged wolf!

Be my beautiful self!
My tribe will find me!
Bullies will be haters!
NEVER chase approval!
Only MY opinion matters!
Prove the naysayers wrong!

Letting Go eases all pain
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Came across this post: "If you grow and change and get better? Great! I dont care! I am not obligated to care! What you did hurt me and could even still be hurting me to this day! The memory of harm can still harm!"

If I feel you've changed, I'm more than willing to give another chance. But I no longer allow people to manipulate me. Which is probably why so many people support the one and done logic. Much easier to be hurt once, than to risk more pain. Heh. Perhaps I should follow that logic, too.

Four years back, I got involved with some drama between two groups of friends. Wound up saying and doing things that lost people on both sides. Only one of them is friends with me again, but he barely even speaks with me. The others still have me blocked.

For the longest time, I've wanted to show them how much I've grown and changed. I wanted them to look at me with pride. The more time that goes by, the more upset I get that they don't wish to speak with me. Sometimes, I feel like "Dude. It's been four years. You should be over it by now." But I also know that everyone heals at their own speed. And some of what was said and done is kind of unforgivable.

That post made me realize I've been trying so hard to make up for what I said and did. Dad and others have told me not to dwell on it. Even said that those people don't care and will never care. I've always been one to look for the good in people, so I kind of held out hope that there was a chance for forgiveness. But yeah. I guess the best thing for me to do--and one of the hardest for me to accept--is to allow people I've hurt to make the move. They may never be ready to. But at least I'm not hurting them by constantly reminding them of something they're trying to forget.

Taking More Chances
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Sometimes I stumble across profiles, journals, posts, etc that I really like or can relate to. And despite the fact I still don't always have the courage to be the first to send a random message, I think it's immense progress that I send a friend request.

Because it shows that I'm no longer listening to that horrible internal voice that tells me not to bother. Who whispers in my ear that everyone is out to get me, and that, no matter what, everyone's end goal is to destroy me.

You can't live life in constant fear of the what-ifs. Especially ones based on past experiences. And you definitely can't keep judging all future friendships by what's happened to you in the past. You gotta take the plunge and experience things. You never know what your hesitation can cause you to miss out on. And I'd rather live life with as few regrets as possible. ^.^

Excuses
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When I turned 16, I made all sorts of excuses as to why I couldn't do this or that. They were all somewhat justified, but regardless. Through my own actions of inaction, I set myself back. Truthfully, I'm still preventing myself from being as successful as I could be. What's my point with all this? A few months back, I made a post that came across as stereotypical, cruel, and heartless. But what I meant was:

The only person truly stopping you from achieving your dreams is YOU. Yes. The environment you grow up in and the number of opportunities it provides do have a great impact on your ability to push yourself. But if you truly desire something, you'll overcome all obstacles that are thrown in your way. I mean, look at all the stories about people who came from opportunity-lacking backgrounds. The majority of people choose to settle for what they have because they don't have the time or desire to actually become better. But if you push, struggle, and fight your way through things, even the most stubborn of dreams can become accomplished.

You can't complain about your lot in life if you do little to nothing to change things. And you definitely shouldn't place blame on others for your own failings. Stop waiting for things to change. BE the change! It won't be long until you see your life begin to improve. In hindsight, I do see how that doesn't quite apply to the original post because it's not always just a simple case of "try harder". But that doesn't take away the fact that my intention behind the post was pure.

SakuraWolf23
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Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:24 (3 Years ago)

Title: Mod Material


-Believer in "actions have consequences". I have reported friends, enemies, and strangers for rule-breaking I have seen. Would dole out the same justice to friends, enemies, and neutrals.

-Highly knowledgeable about the game, so I can answer various questions

-I have anxiety and depression, but I won't let my personal problems interfere with professional decisions. I am 90% capable of doing the job without being overwhelmed, and I know to back off on days of 10%.

-Understand that personal beliefs, opinions, religion, morality, etc., should not interfere with decision-making. I also understand that all my actions and words would, by extension, represent the site, so I would act as maturely and professionally as possible.

-Very active in the community due to having an on-call job. So I'm online from 14 to 15 to 5/6 server time and could handle many things very quickly.

-Will make posts informing the community of major issues being dealt with, or respond with "looking into" or "resolved" things. All without going into any more detail than is necessary to ease the user base's minds.

SakuraWolf23
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Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:25 (3 Years ago)

Title: PFQ Database Progress

10.26.23
Info for Grookey, Scorbunny, and Sobble Lines added

Finally started work on the database for PFQ. I need to add all of Galar and Paldea (and Regional formes of), and all the new Mega, Totem, Variant, and Exclusive since October 2022. So far, I've gotten the starters for Galar done (except the Melan codes for the Grookey line, as I don't have those in my dex).

This includes info such as:
Name , Evolves To/From, Egg Group, Stage (Basic, Stage 1, Stage 2, Final, etc), Level Up Method, Type, Body Style, Color, Gender Ratio, EXP Group, Dex Entry, Battle Stats, N/S/A/M Sprite Code

This is going to be sooo much work. My fault for not updating the spreadsheet as new stuff came out. Just going to do a couple evo lines a day so as not to overwhelm myself. Dad's going to help and even come back for this. So his Type Race and other stuffs will be updated, too! ^.^
SakuraWolf23
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Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:25 (3 Years ago)

Title: Policies

I don't do Trade Evos or Battles.

No means no. Respect my decision.

Only what is in my Sell Box is for sale. Do not ask for anything else.

I rarely loan Pokemon for Dex Completion. I won't loan Legends/Specials unless I trust you.

I may get busy/forget to/not want to respond to a message. Do NOT antagonize me for a response.

Lowballing or offering something I'm not looking for will get you blocked just so you can't do it again.

If I block you, respect my decision. Any "messengers" will be warned once, then reported and blocked.

Please try to watch your tone. I'm not good at picking things up, and may take offense where none is meant.

I'm not always good with words. If you have an issue with what I say/do, don't hesitate to ask me for clarification.

I don't answer "hi" and "hello" messages as I've never had good experiences with messages that start out like that.


SakuraWolf23
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Trainerlevel: 120

Forum Posts: 1,095
Posted: Sat, 30/01/2021 06:25 (3 Years ago)

Title: Random Facts

Dizzy Looking Up
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Many people get dizzy or nauseous when looking at the ground from a height. I actually get dizzy looking UP at a blue sky. I feel like I'm falling. Yet, I have no problem looking at the night sky.

Free Time
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My dad is a Property Manager/Handyman, which makes him on-call 24-7. My job is learning to take over the business from him, so we usually have a lot of free time. The last two years, however, we've been putting a lot of energy into fixing up our house, a rented house, and our Apartment Complex. Dad's not able to work very long in the heat, but he tries to manage two hours a day, except on days that are over 90. It's slow going, but we're getting things done.

Growing Up Labelled
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From ages 3 to 24, my mom and I lived in really poor and dangerous towns. My brother was born when I was 14, so he only experienced it for 10 years. These towns (New London, Delft, Sultana, Pixley, and Seville) were full of gangs, grafitti, regular gunshots, cop sirens every day, etc. Because of where we lived, my brother and I were immediately labelled as problematic troublemakers who wouldn't amount to anything, and, for the most part, we were treated with contempt by others. My brother got along much better than I did, due to him not having my ADHD. To add to the fire, my mom, though working full time, could barely provide for us. Our clothing came from Good Will, and pretty much everything we owned was as cheap as possible while still being functional. So we were looked down upon for being poor riffraff.

My mom's choice of friends has always been...questionable. Based on where we lived, never a day went by where I didn't fear her choices would cause problems for us. One day, due to my psychotic aunt spreading lies about us, we were given the ultimatum to leave. We didn't really think anything of it, cause the people who said it were all bark and no bite. So, imagine our surprise when, a week later, while we were standing outside, we were shot at in a driveby. Thankfully, nobody was hurt, but we were gone within two days.

Unfortunately, I despise this day with all my heart. Cause this is the day where, during the rush to leave, I left behind my stuffed animal that I'd owned for 12 years, and my backpack full of notebooks and graphbooks from the previous five years of writing. Still, as painful as that was, I'm very glad that part of my life is behind me. It's a wonderful feeling to know you're safe from harm. It's a feeling everyone should know.

I Can't Drive
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From the moment I turned 16, I looked forward to getting my Driver's License like every other teen. It didn't take me long to realize that I could never do so.

First. The motions of a car are so soothing to me, I tend to fall asleep on half hour trips.

Second. I daydream or otherwise daze out for minutes at a time, not hearing or seeing anything going on around me.

Third. I lack Distance Perception.

Fourth. Both parents have Night Blindness, so it's a high chance I do as well. And I lack the mentality and perception to properly compensate for it.

List of Problems
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I really feel like I should get tested, as I know I have some form of Social Disorder.

Was diagnosed with ADHD when 3, but had a few doctors tell me that it was not possible to diagnose a child with ANY Disorder. Something along the lines of "Most children are naturally hyper and inattentive, so it's impossible to properly come up with a diagnosis". Which is a major reason I'm considering getting a series of tests to get on the proper Medications.

I can only make eye contact for extended periods of time with people I trust. Otherwise, I feel like they're staring into my soul and silently judging me. This may have something to do with a family member telling me when I was really young that they could read my thoughts and see how I felt by looking into my eyes. HOWEVER, I've noticed that this has changed, and I can now meet people's eyes for long periods of time.

I don't like to speak to people. CAN have conversations with strangers if they put me at ease. HATE speaking on the phone cause my voice makes me sound like a 7 year old who hasn't learned to properly speak. My fault for that for refusing to go to Speech Therapy when younger.

People with Happy-Go-Lucky Attitudes/Random Mood Swings make me uncomfortable. Knowing the person well just allows me to tolerate it for a bit longer before I'm so anxious I want to leave.

I'm uncomfortable around people I can tell have a Disorder because I don't know their triggers. And I hate not having to walk on eggshells because I don't want to unintentionally offend someone. I've actually never had the opportunity to get to know anyone like that well enough to feel comfortable.

The "What Would You Do?" tests for Walmart Applications are a clear example of why Jobs are limited for me. Apparently I handle situations differently than most people would. My own Mood Swings and Temper would get me into so much trouble.

Despite the fact I am vocal sometimes, I actually HATE confrontation. It really sets off my Anxiety. Comes from mental and physical abuse from family and friends-of-the-family in my younger years when I lived down in California. My mom and brother were never physical, but boy, could they make me feel worthless.

Loud or random noises easily startle me. I HATE July 4th and New Years because of that. Even though I expect the noises, I still spend the night wrapped in a blanket, shivering and jumping at each noise. Sometimes, dad randomly beginning to speak makes me jump. When he first discovered this, he had fun for at least a week scaring me.

When people compliment or are otherwise nice to me, it puts me on edge. I've been hurt and betrayed so much in my life that it's much more easier to deal with being hurt and feeling that I'm worthless than it is to accept genuine love and support. Tis why I find it so difficult to call someone my friend.

I've always been a loner. Though, I don't know if that's because I don't like being around people, or the fact that nobody ever wanted to be around me. Regardless, one of my worst fears is that the people I love the most will turn their backs on me for the smallest of reasons.

If there was a contest for best Procrastinator or Easiest Distracted Person, I'm sure I would get first place in those. I've always had a horrible habit of putting things off until the last moment. I got one sentence written in Angel of the Shadows today before I got distracted doing other, lesser important things. Prioritizing is also not a strong point. Neither is Memory. I can forget what I'm doing AS I get up to do it. And it doesn't matter if it was something I was doing for me, or someone else.

There are a few other things off about me, but it's 10:30, and this is all I can think of offhand. If you've had one of these issues, and managed to overcome it...I'd love to hear your advice! Good night, everyone! ^.^

My Dad and I
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I live with my biological dad, Bishop. Yeah. I know what you're thinking. 30 years old and still living with "daddy". Well. I lived with my mother in California from ages 3-23. I saw him once when I was 6, but that was it. I flew to Washington to live with him on 10-03-14, and have enjoyed catching up on missed time.

Night Terrors
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At least, that's what I think goes on. See...I've always had problems sleeping, ever since I was a little child. I'd wake up 5+ times during the night, quite often in a panic. I remember a few occasions where I actually screamed upon awakening.

Most of the time, I don't remember the nightmare. Rarely, I do remember the nightmare. And sometimes, it's so bad that I have to sit and cry for a while because every time I close my eyes, I see the part of the nightmare that scared me. The rest of the night is horrible for me then. During these times, I'm not likely to get back to sleep for a while.

Premonitive Nightmares
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There's a weird thing I first noticed about myself around the age of 13 or so.

Background:
Most of my living situations throughout my life were poor and horrible. Mom struggled to pay the bills and support me and my brother. Gifts we got for Christmas/Birthdays, we usually had to sell within a year. We usually lived with someone because we couldn't afford to live on our own. This consisted of family members and twice, strangers. Needless to say, I didn't get along well with anyone. Even mom and my brother. Mostly over behavior, because I wouldn't tolerate people being rude/lying to us or taking advantage of us. Even if they were family.

Point:
I began to have nightmares on occasion. These were so overwhelming realistic and fear-instilling. Content? Me getting into a really bad argument wtih someone. One coming close to blows. Within three days, it happened in real life. Usually with the person from my dream. This has continued throughout my life.

Now, I don't know if it's because I have an ability to sense tension and feel when things are close to boiling over between me and others. Or, if each time I have a nightmare, it creates a psychosomatic effect that makes me expect and believe something will happen, so, like Anakin, my preventative actions only ensure the act happening. Either way, the entire situation is uncanny.

Sleeping Alone
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I've always had an illogical and irrational fear of sleeping alone. Which is why I've always slept in the same room as my mom or dad.

I think it was because every house we lived in had mice, and so I wound up terrified of being eaten by them or having one crawl into my mouth and start chewing on my tongue or throat.

I also believed in Ghosts and Demons back then, and a lot of the places we lived were in bad areas of town because it was the cheapest rent Mom could afford. So I also got scared of Demonic Possessions or Poltergeists.

As I got older, I was able to watch things like Monsters Inside Me, Taken, and I Spit on Your Grave, and it only further increased my paranoia.

On 15/Sept/2020, I decided I was too old for these foolish beliefs anymore, and so I took one of the scariest steps in my life and began sleeping in my own room. Even so, there are still several times a month, when either depression is too overwhelming or my paranoia won't leave me alone, that I'll bring out the cot and sleep in dad's room.

Replying Roleplay/Otherkin Style
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It doesn't happen often, but there are times when I can't think of a way to respond to someone, so I do something like *huggles* or *waves shyly*. Another example would be like "*cannot find the words to say in response, so stares at you for a while before holding out her hand* and then saying something".

Sometimes, you'll see me posting or replying as a wolf or cat. Things like *wags tail*, *flicks ears*, or pretending the human part of me bopped the wolf/cat part of me on the head. I believe in the existence of Otherkin, even though I don't believe I myself am one. For the most part, I do this because I find it cute. Though, between you and me, I do desperately wish I was a human/wolf/cat hybrid.

Terrified of Ants
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When I was really young, about ten or so, I was playing hide-and-seek. I chose to hide under my grandpa's car. Huge mistake. I was underneath for about fifteen seconds before I felt hundreds of ants crawling on me. Within two seconds, I was out, screaming and crying. My mom grabbed the hose and squirted me down. It took five minutes to get all the ants off me. I'm 30 now, and have been terrified of them ever since that day.


Randoms:
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I have never been:
On a roller coaster, a water ride, or on a ride called--I think, the Hammer?--Where you get spun in a 360 circle that hovers you upside down in midair for a few seconds. I have also never been camping, to a Comic-Con, rafting, or on a zip line. All are things I REALLY want to do, too.

I can't:
blow bubbles with gum, swim, ride a bike, or drive

My strange fears are:
Complete darkness mixed with absolute silence, spiders (except tarantulas), looking up at the sky (makes me dizzy, except at night), and being left alone in the house for any period of time (even worse is when I wake up to an empty house)

My loves are:
Reading, writing, drawing, wolves, images of outer space, fire, and furry art.